Sexual Relationships
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Why a Girl Sleeping Around Shouldn't Matter

Why a girl sleeping around shouldn't matter...

I'll keep this short and brief.

The reason girls are are looked down upon for having lots of partners or sleeping with guys they aren't committed to is because girls are viewed as innocent and pure by society's values. This was primarily influenced by religion and man made cultural norms.

Girls who don't conform to those standards are both consciously and subconsciously looked down upon because that's how we were taught to think in our society.

The issue here is it's unfair to women that they have stricter expectations when it comes to sex. It's looked at as okay for a guy to have lots of sex. If that's okay then it should be okay for a girl. As long as a girl isn't cheating or playing people, a girl sleeping around doesn't hurt anybody.

A common response to my claim is the key & lock analogy.

Why a Girl Sleeping Around Shouldn't Matter

A key that opens any lock is a master key, a lock that opens to any key is worthless.

That doesn't explain why it's wrong for a girl to sleep around. It only explains why it's an accomplishment for a guy to sleep around while it's not impressive when a girl does it.

If the lock is in good condition and when it has a suitable user, it only opens to that 1 key, that doesn't make it "worthless". It's a good lock.

If that lock still opened to many keys when bought then it would be worthless.

Using that same analogy here's my questions...

Why a Girl Sleeping Around Shouldn't Matter

Q1: What do you think about a lock that's in good condition which normally opens to many keys, but when owned, only opens to one key?

Q2: What do you think about a lock that normally opens to a select few keys, but when owned can still open to multiple keys?

Q3: Which lock is better?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If a woman is hot enough, dynamic enough, charismatic enough, and sufficiently driven to (eventually) be half of a power couple, then this isn't an issue at all... and everyone knows that, however much it might fuck with their own internal dogma.

    __

    To those women who *are* being judged on this, some bullet points of advice:

    • Make yrself devastatingly hot -- through workouts, carefully curated outfits, sexy and striking hairstyles, and a more sensual and alluring voice and walking gait -- and STAY devastatingly hot.
    Boys can talk all the shit they want... but, once you reach queen bitch status and stay there, NO ONE is gna hold yr (real or imagined) past against you.

    • Examine yr own thoughts and behavior, when others throw shit yr way. Do you have the bad habit of apologizing for, or trying to "rationalize", everything you do? Trying to "justify" WHO YOU ARE, instead of just... being who you are? If so, STOP THAT. Be true to yrself. Fuck the haters.

    • When you DO fuck around... are you doing it 100% for reasons that are YOURS, and 0% for the boy's reasons?
    If not... that's a problem, and you need to fix it. NEVER have sex for any reason that is anyone's but yr own. Never ever ever.
    Put another way: If you're "giving up" something when you fuck... you're doing life wrong. If you're GAINING something every time -- and adding just a little more color to yr life with each little adventure -- then you're doing life very, very right.

    __

    To the boys who think an "inexperienced" woman is better: Yh we get it, you wouldn't want to be compared to her other lovers. Because, well, you wouldn't win. Srry better luck in yr next life. 💟

    • That was a very harsh way to put it. I prefer girls who are as inexperienced as I am but that doesn't meant I will put down others for their tastes and likes.

    • @ThisDudeHere Yh but (from what I can tell) YOU have never tried to claim that sexual inexperience makes a woman "more valuable" or "better". rather -- correct me if I'm wrong here -- yr perspective is that you'd want to embark on an adventure of discovery along with a woman who's *also* discovering things. Right? If so, then, that makes sense, and you aren't among the ones I addressed there.

    • <3 Right back. :)

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Most Helpful Guy

  • The lock and key analogy is stupid. It has not enough value for you to take it as seriously as you do.

    A woman who enjoys sex and desires sex is a good thing for a man to have. A woman who comes to a man having sewn her wild oats is a good thing for a man to find.

    A woman who is sexually repressed, morally repressed and hasn't had much experience is a woman who might be more likely to cheat in the long-term.

    Guys who have double standards and slut-shame are hypocritical jackasses. I don't have enough respect for them or their views to take them seriously, except to the extent that their behavior influences women to make them more sexually repressed and keeps me from getting laid. You fuckers are cock-blockers.

    They also think they can own women like objects.

    Kindly die in a fire if that's what you think.

    • <3 👊

    • Sorry but only sluts will like your answer. I am not a slut therefore will nicely disagree with what you said.

    • Lmfao redeyemindtricks blocked me cause she was scared of my comebacks. Listen "Inexperienced" woman is better because she has enough self respect to not open her legs to guys who don't commit her. Sorry but only confident men can dream of ever getting such women. Insecure guys know all they can get is easy women as easy women don't have high standards.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • First of all its how you tend to USE that key. And for which lock. Guys have that control just as women do. I don't like men that sleep around and neither the same for women. This is not something based off of religion or social construct. It's the truth. You see it every single day. I've seen more girls and some guys getting hurt because somebody decided to switch up on them after losing their virginities for the first time. They felt betrayed and lied to. And then by the time that person is left broken, somebody else comes into the picture, but now the said person is not the same. They are still broken. It's abusive. You end up destroying the grace that was given to you. To protect YOU, the person you're with, and the offspring you tend to conceive into this world. The key and lock analogy is how YOU decide to interpret it. It's to warn people, NOT just the guy, that those who tend to have many sexual partners will have a VERY HARD time connecting, bonding and upholding a sexual relationship [mainly so in marriage].

    So in that conclusion to answer your questions:

    Q1: Women are biologically designed to accommodate a man's penis of any size. That is the truth. But there are some women, based on how she is individually designed may not be able to have sex as normally as most would. It isn't to say she can't have sex with a man who's on the big side or the smaller side. It just may be a bit challenging. But it will be even more difficult IF she has already had her first sexual experience WITH a living breathing flesh with a Man. That is why if a woman who had a partner who was bigger in size, she will un-subconsciously seek a man who has the same size or similar, and would be least likely sexually satisfied if she had something else. And I'm talking about psychologically as well as physically here. This is one of the main reasons to wait for marriage to have sex with 1 partner for the rest of your life. Otherwise, your just making this more difficult for yourself. But, we can't tell people what to do.

    Q2: At that point, that person CHOOSE to Devalue themselves in that manner. Having many doesn't make it better. We have to understand and break this down as is. A lock is just a lock and a key is just a key. We are human beings and are not actual items. The whole analogy is to wake people up to the truth. Not to say were actual objects.

    Q3: Those who are pure at heart, mind, body and spirit. People make mistakes. BUT even at the loss of innocence. The one

    • who LEARNS to NEVER do it again until the right time, marriage, is the one who will always be a winner just like the virgin who waited. BUT. It will be a tougher journey compared to the one's who never experienced sex. It will never come easy as life itself is never is. But for those who wait, it gets a little easier. With the right mindset, of course. But with this comment: "As long as a girl isn't cheating or playing people, a girl sleeping around doesn't hurt anybody." Is so far from the truth and anybody who believes this lie is blind until YOU end up seriously getting hurt. If a virgin ends up dating a person who has already slept around with multiple people, the one who has sexual experience in that manner is less likely to love that person the way THEY needed to be loved, and have sex the way that person needs to experience sex. Instead, he/she teaches them the kind of sex that is damaging and destructive. Sex is the KEY to the ESSENCE [LOCK] to your entire being. When you do

    • this wrong, you're going to end up causing yourself and them to self-destruct. Then when it happens, all of a sudden you don't want to fix it, you want to run away. I know this. Have interpersonal experience with this. Spoken to hundreds of people. You can't tell me any different. I've seen the destructive patterns that are long lasting and damaging. Mainly to those who feel more. There is a price to pay when you think somebody sleeping around shouldn't matter. Trust me, if I would have started dating, you best to believe it would matter. Because I matter. And I expect that person to matter to me if I'm going to commit myself to that person and say I love them. Because I didn't love them, I wouldn't give a rats behind about them. Period.

    • Or what they decide to do.

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  • From a relationship coaching perspective, this is akin to an article I wrote a long time ago called 'The Whore Truth and Nothing But the Truth' which, as you accurately point out, speaks to the inequity between judgments of sexual behavior between men and women. To answer your question, I don't think either lock is better but neither lock should be judged.

  • I think as long as they're being responsible and not spreading diseases or hurting anybody it's all good - male or female.

  • I really like this. It drives me crazy when guys say "Its so slutty when girls sleep around, I want one that hasn't been with many guys" while they're off sleeping with everyone they can.
    How its viewed as an accomplishment when guys have sex and a negative thing when girls do.

    Sorry in my opinion, if guys get to have sex freely, so should girls. We are equal. It's not the girls job to "not tempt the men and keep the gates closed". If a guy gets to have multiple partners without being looked down on, then same for the girls. Society really needs to start seeing this.

    • You do realize most guys don't actually sleep around right? The men who don't care sleep around because tehy don't want a relationship, the men who do want a relationship care if a woman sleeps around and they themselves don't because again, they want a relationship. We are not a monolyth we don't all function exactly the same you know. I mean thats the equivalent of me saying all women are sluts. Its rather stupid to make that assumption.

    • @hellionthesagereborn I'm not saying all guys sleep around. But I've sure met a whole lot of them who do. Guys that go to the bar every weekend with the intent to take a girl home. Guys that troll Tinder to find people to sleep with. Etc. I'm not saying all guys, I'm sure there's some who don't, but there are definitely a lot of guys who sleep around. I'm specifically saying that THOSE guys who sleep around cannot possibly judge a girl who does as well. Cuz if they can, and not be looked down on, she can to. Guys do have a right to want an innocent girl of course. That's personal preference. But just don't judge a girl who sleeps around or call her a slut. If you don't like it, don't date her. Simple as that.

    • Its more then some guys, quite a few do not sleep around. As for not judging a girl, why not? We judge men, you judge men why can't men judge women on there behavior? I mean isn't that the only thing you should judge a person on, there actions? As for women, well it wouldn't really be an issue except women lie about there number, they are not upfront and honest about there life choices and will lie to get a man to commit to them if they want that guy. That means a guy can never be sure of what kind of woman he is with, did she sleep around or is she being honest? This happens on all the time (in fact a woman on this very post admitted as much). So that is why guys shame women who sleep around because they cannot trust that women will be upfront and honest about there choices and when those same women get older and less guys show interest these same women turn around and try to get a man to commit. So they shame to let women know that this is not acceptable behavior.

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  • I don't sleep around, and never have (I'm a relationship person, not a hookup person). So I wouldn't want to be with a woman who sleeps around (although I wouldn't mind if she did that during her young and immature days but later became more responsible).

  • Wow you're an idiot. It's called biology. Women are weaker than men, especially during pregnancy, and desire men for protection. Thus if they give up sex without getting the protection and stability they want they show they are low value.

    Conversely, men are wired to want sex for pretty much no reason at all. Women have sex drives, but rarely do women feel the desire to have sex with strangers. Men get horny all the time and thats a big factor in thier motivation to meet women. If a man gives away his protection and commitment to a woman without getting sex in return then he is also low value.

    Call it unfair if you like, but life isn't fair so get over it crybaby.

    • Bravo! A man who actually understands biology & the entire concept of females who sleep around. 👏... Here's the thing: Men produce 300 MILLION sperm EVERY day. Women produce ONE egg every MONTH. Men are driven by testosterone; women are driven by estrogen. Technically, what I am trying to say is women's sex drives aren't NEARLY as high as men's & a woman who says so, talks nonsense. Some women do sleep around for pleasure, but the results will STILL not be in her favour, because no man wants to look after or raise another man's child. The fact that women produce ONE egg every month, actually INCREASES her sexual value, hence she should be selective who she chooses to have sex with. If a woman sleeps around, it makes her so much more vulnerable to falling pregnant; she's the carrier of the unborn child. All in all it boils down to SELF RESPECT - religion or not; if you do NOT have high values & standards, & select just about any clown only to fulfill your emotional or sexual

    • needs, then you can FORGET about high status, high value men, who make excellent providers, have strong characters, strong values, high standards, etc. A man with low values & standards will accept it, of course. 👌

    • #FACT.

  • I do not accept your proposition that it's because we're just "taught" to look down on women who are promiscuous, we're not blank slates.

    In nearly all societies throughout time, men have been the ones who are expected to approach and initiate contact. (this is also true for nearly all mammals and most other animals too). They must compete with one another, risk embarrassment and rejection and the expenditure of resources (both tangible and social) in the hopes of finding a mate.
    It's their biological role to seek out females and win their favour at a shot of reproduction. If the man has poor skills or appear weak/sickly his chances to mate are greatly diminished. If a man is able to sleep with many women, it is a strong indication that he possesses skills and traits that make him a highly desirable and valued mate.
    A man who is able to sleep with many women is essentially the pinnacle of what men are designed to do. Other men recognize this and will applaud that man's achievement even if they feel jealous. Women, too, recognize this and may find themselves attracted to such a man because if many other women want him, he must be doing something right.

    Women operate on a qualifying paradigm. Because reproduction for women is time-consuming, potentially fatal and of limited capacity, it is a woman's biological prerogative to be very choosy with whom she is sexual. She must be sure to secure the best mate she can or risk the possibility that her children are weak or disadvantaged. When a woman sleeps with many men, it's a strong indication that her ability to judge quality in mates is non-existent and she does not care about the possible consequences of her actions.
    More importantly, men who are aware of her habits will be hesitant to trust her. At a deeply instinctual level, men cannot stand the idea of having a child with a woman who sleeps around because the paternity of the child would be in question and our sole purpose is passing on genes.

    Other than that, statistics show that highly promiscuous women have lower quality marriages, 5x the divorce rate, Are exponentially more likely to have an STI (8.8% of women with 3 non-marital partners have had an STI, while if you've had 16-21+, your numbers go to 41.9% and higher)
    less likely to have a stable marriage, more likely to get pregnant out of wedlock, 6x more likely to be a single mom, statistically less happy (self-reported),
    All numbers can be sourced, but there's no more room in this comment.

    • also: Q1: redundant question. A lock will always (or should) open to only one key. It doesn't change pattern just because you own it. nor should it. If it only opens to one when owned, it's still a shitty lock, because when not owned, it doesn't serve its singular purpose. Q2: still a bad lock. I wouldn't trust it to guard my valuables. Q3: The lock that's secure and opens to one key.

  • Don't care about the analogy much... but i do agree that as long as a girl stays protected... she can fuck whomever she wants...
    Now finding out that your girl was in a 16 man gangbang... whole different story... that may take some getting used to.
    Regular sex... awesome.. fine... weird shit... not so much.
    nice to know she's open to options though :)

  • THANK YOU.

    But I want to add, that she should ALWAYS be safe, clean, and smart about sex. There is NO excuse to NOT use a condom, unless you're in a committed relationship and using other forms of contraception. Or if you are TRYING to get pregnant or catch an STD/STI.

    I'm in an open relationship, and I've had over 20 partners since age 20.

    I've never been pregnant, or had a single STD/STI in my entire life.

  • Well for women there are multiple negative derogatory language connected to women who have many partners. Plus it looks bad for the guy she is suppose to be dating. Unless its a clearly publically understood that its a 100% open relationship which at most occurs like ony 14% of relationships.

    Yes men have their fair share of derogatory words but the words dont have the same gravity as the female ones.

    Overall society has women really in a pickle as they can't go too far really in ether direction without getting called out for a mistake when it comes to sex.

  • The lock analogy is just plain stupid and I don't think it's worth trying to work within that analogy a all (though I understand why you're trying and commend you for that). Really tho, women aren't objects and that in itself makes the analogy moot.

    I agree that a lot of it comes down to cultural bias, but I also think part of the reason guys in particular look down on women who sleep around is that they're jealous. It pisses them off that sex isn't easy for them to get. It's the same reason a lot of those guys will automatically hate on popular dudes who do well with women.

    • Girl that last paragraph tho ♥️♥️

      lovelace-media.imgix.net/.../...8-0aec1efe63a9.gif

    • Hookers get the most sex. ARE GUYS JEALOUS OF THEM?

    • @asdsfgag some probably are, yeah...

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  • Was vaginas just compared to locks? O_o. Oh god we are going to have to start wearing metal underwear with locks again to prove to some people the dick is not a key.
    That's like comparing a penis to hotdogs and saying they are only good if they are bun length.

  • Tbh I'm all the way with equality. I believe that men and women should have equal rights, but that doesn't mean that if one gender does something disgusting or low, the other gender should do the same and label it as "equality". They should keep their morals high and take control of proper decision making. Not think that "guys are dogs and sleep with every hot chick, so we need equality so why not just do the same. Let's fuck and suck 30 guys". Nooo. That's not how it's supposed to be, that isn't equality, that's stupidity. If a girl is virgin or has a low number and doesn't like the idea of sleeping around, then gurl find someone who's the same and is up to your standards. Same goes for guys. Gold deserves gold, silver deserves silver, copper deserves copper. Gold should never settle for copper. Know your value and cherish it 💯

  • no key can open all locks. no hole can accommodate all keys. and people are not objects. bad analogy that I've heard many times.

    im a virgin and prefer having sex with a virgin. i also dont like the idea im having sex with everyone he's had sex with. id rather have sex with virgins.

    i think people should fuck who they want but im dont want people who want to fuck around. its just risky, and unattractive.

    its certainly not more attractive to me if guys sleep around bc guys are the sex i will have sex with.

    i dont think women find it more attractive when men are promiscuous, its just men feel entitled to find problems with women being promiscuous and are very loud about it.

    i think people who care and dot care can be found in either sex, inwardly... outwardly, women need to complain more or men need to shut up.

  • You ignored another response to the double standard: why are guys also considered sluts if they are merely trying to run up their number? Why should they be admired or respected?

  • This is quite honestly one of the most stupid arguments I have read (and I have read a lot). First and foremost, no, in schools you are not taught that women who are promiscuis are bad, that doesn't happen. What does happen is we have a natural aversion to promiscuity in women which has been well documented for many reasons one of which being that in nature knowing paternity matters, a fucking lot actually. So we are wired to steer clear of women who sleep around as it brings paternity into question. So now that this idiotically stupid argument which you clearly put no thought into is dealt with, the other reasons are that as per every study on the subject has shown women who are promiscuis are more likely to divorce (1% chance with one partner, 16% chance with two) more likely to cheat (those who score in the upper half of the sociosexually unrestricted scale (i. e. a casual view of sex i. e. promiscuis) have a 50% probability of cheating and divorce), are far more likely to be unhappy in long term relationships, more likely to suffer depression, more likely to find sex less pleasurable, etc. etc. etc. all of which are bad for a relationship that exists for more then a week. So you know, there is also all of that. There is a god damn reason why every known major civilization on the planet has this taboo, its because its destructive to the family unit and to people and generally that means its a detriment to the individual and to society. Further more by your reasoning you are saying these women are owed relationships by the men who are uncomfortable with there (impulsive, infantile (short term pleasure seeking)) behavior yet simultaneously those men also have every right to reject those women just as those women reject men that they don't find attractive. Men don't owe women relationships any more then women owe men sex. You might as well start arguing that women should stop seeking men who are successful and ambitious and good looking and instead have random sex with unattractive lazy men who live in there parents basement with no intention of leaving. The response to such stupidity is "Why?" why would any one owe these women anything why would any one owe a man? That's stupid. These women are judged on there actions, the one thing you should judge a person on and your going to try and argue that its wrong? that its wrong for men to want a certain type of woman? That's stupid. Next time think it through, if it can't be applied to all its irrational.

  • As I've said before, sex is cheap. It's given away at the drop of a hat. It's nothing special these days. It's just cutting notches on your gun.

    Why do I think it DOES matter? Why would I want sex with a girl that's had multiple partners, only for her to move off onto the next guy? What have I got out of it apart from a few ejeculations and another notch on my gun, that I don't really want.

    • Don't forget as well, that if a guy is in a serious relationship and suddenly finds out the truth, he could well get a bit miffed to say the least. Especially if he's been lied to. That's akin to cheating in retrospect.

  • Promiscuity is a primitive and unhealthy sexual behaviour. I will always have the necessary respect for everybody out of our sexual lives.

    But when it comes to sexual life or choosing partners, I would not view you any differently than I would view a caveman.

  • Oh i get it . So if you open your legs your a shitty lock and easy to pick .
    If you fuck a lot of women then you're The Master Key .
    The Problem is . And Over Looked . My Lock Has A Combination .
    If I Don't Give It To You . You Can't Get In .

    • This is the best analogy I've heard for this. I like that it takes gender our of it by not assigning people to be keys or locks but just to having a combination to their lock that they are able to give out to whoever they want.

  • It's a very personal choice. I see no problem as long as the other person has not had substantial more partners than myself. - That's my right to ask for that.

    Some people do not care much.

    For some people number of partners is a big deal.

    My only problem is with the guys who have higher standards for women than they do for themselves. Flash that chart all day long, but doesn't make you any less of a jerk. I bet a similar chart could be made for you. If not that one exactly, perhaps one showing how much more likely you are to cheat for having had multiple previous partners, etc.

    by the way the results on those charts are complete BS. Most of the 'virgins' polled have lower divorce rates because they are in restrictive religions, not because they are in happy marriages. (Yay, you can have a women that despises you, but doesn't want to divorce you!) Most of the studies find a very minor difference between women having 2 partners and those greater than 10. Meaning it truly doesn't matter. (Outside of the situation listed in ( ) above.)

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