Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
I'll keep this short and brief.
The reason girls are are looked down upon for having lots of partners or sleeping with guys they aren't committed to is because girls are viewed as innocent and pure by society's values. This was primarily influenced by religion and man made cultural norms.
Girls who don't conform to those standards are both consciously and subconsciously looked down upon because that's how we were taught to think in our society.
The issue here is it's unfair to women that they have stricter expectations when it comes to sex. It's looked at as okay for a guy to have lots of sex. If that's okay then it should be okay for a girl. As long as a girl isn't cheating or playing people, a girl sleeping around doesn't hurt anybody.
A common response to my claim is the key & lock analogy.
A key that opens any lock is a master key, a lock that opens to any key is worthless.
That doesn't explain why it's wrong for a girl to sleep around. It only explains why it's an accomplishment for a guy to sleep around while it's not impressive when a girl does it.
If the lock is in good condition and when it has a suitable user, it only opens to that 1 key, that doesn't make it "worthless". It's a good lock.
If that lock still opened to many keys when bought then it would be worthless.
Using that same analogy here's my questions...
Q1: What do you think about a lock that's in good condition which normally opens to many keys, but when owned, only opens to one key?
Q2: What do you think about a lock that normally opens to a select few keys, but when owned can still open to multiple keys?
Q3: Which lock is better?
What Girls & Guys Said
29 84A person's sex life shouldn't concern anyone who isn't directly affected by it... I don't know why everyone wants to weigh in on everyone else's sexual activity. As long as it's not illegal or causing harm to anyone, it shouldn't matter who Cindy or Jessica or whoever is sleeping with.
Agreed. Only times it should matter is when you're actually dating the person. Last year a girl I was seeing invited me to her place on the 3rd date, and right before we had sex, there was a condom wrapper from someone else laying in the bed. She had the nerve to turn it around on me which was even more disgusting. There's no double standard with that though. Both guys or girls doing that is sick and wrong.
@bloodmountain1990 Wait. "before you had sex", or "before you could have sex"? Sounds like you still went to bed with her? It's not as big a deal if you guys just "hooked up" like at a bar, because this is exactly what a lot of guys do. But she was actually dating you and this happened? Sounds to me like she's got a fuck-buddy that won't girlfriend her, but she didn't want to let go of him.
@dragonfly6516 yeah I still did. And of course I wore protection. I mean you should anyways. I just figured at that point, if this is what I get out of it so be it, we're already here. But yeah unfortunately she ended up being a sociopath and just got out of a 5 year relationship. So she didn't know what she wanted and was going through. But still, that doesn't excuse her behavior. And there's no double standard with this. A guy doing the same thing is equally disgusting. She's just a piece of shit for doing that and then acting like it's my fault.
Q1 I think this is a good lock?
Q2 I don't think this is a good lock?
Q3 I like the first lock better?
But I dont get your analogy at all.
Furthermore, I think the double standard exists largely because men's egos are extremely fragile and the idea of being compared to a previous lover is paralyzingly to many, so they deflect, blame the girl and refuse to subject themselves to any potential comparisons.
pbs.twimg.com/.../xGtXxhC0.jpg
very well said!
@flypaper thanks💟
Ya it's either a case of man hate + men are weak and fragile + personal insecurity. Or it's biologically evolved psychology that has something to do with men being unable to know the paternity of their children coupled with the extremely high cost of raising human children and the risk of STD's in a world without medicine...
@Jager66 BINGO! It neve ceases to amaze me how often people just completely ignore the most obvious reason for something and go straight to attacking. I think thats a sign of women having fragile egos and being unable to handle the comparisons to the women who are not sleeping around. Clearly it bothers them or they wouldn't make those kinds of arguments.
@hellionthesagereborn who's doing the attacking when a girl is sl*t shamed or ostracized for her own private sexual behavior? behavior the may or may not have happened before even meeting the girl or may or may not have happened at all?
*Meeting the guy..
Why is the girl shamed though? That is what is ignored. If a guy says he is not interested in those kinds of women what happens? Do women just say "oh, okay" and move on? No. They attack they insult they tell them they are virgins, that no one wants them etc. So please do not frame this as if women are victims here. men shame women on there behavior, are you then going to tell me women do not shame men on theres? Of course women shame men. They do so as a way of socially enforcing the most desirable behavior, if a guy lives at home, you shame him because that's not desirable. If he doesn't take care of himself you shame him because that's not desirable behavior, if he is passive you shame him because that's not desirable behavior. Men shame women for being promiscuis because that's not desirable behavior. Women shame men who won't commit by calling them players and fuckboys because that's is not desirable behavior. Why pretend this is one sided? Its not fooling anyone.
As for the behavior itself, its absolutely worth shaming because in the long run it will affect some man down the line. Studies have shown multiple times that women who are promiscuis have higher rates of cheating and divorce (those who score in the upper half of the sociosexually unrestricted range have about 50% likely hood of cheating and/or divorcing) The more partners the more likely both of these are to happen (with divorce its 1% chance with 1 partner and 16% chance with two). It also increases the odds of supporting a child that is not his either from one of these previous encounters or from cheating both of which cost him considerable money all in an attempt to better the life of some one elses child which in turn takes resources away from his potential or current offspring. Then of course divorce which destroyes the man as laws are in favor of women so he will have his money taken, his home and children taken away more then likely. Even if that doesn't happen statistically
women who have had more partners tend to be less satisfied in there relationships then those that have not so even if she doesn't cheat or divorce him her dissatisfaction in the relationship will still affect him. So yes, it does affect him, maybe not the specific woman and specific guy but men in general are adversely affected by this behavior hence men in general shaming the behavior, because it hurts them in the long run. Since women also have been known to lie about it makes things much harder when society and women try to justify the behavior. This is the same reason women talk about men "using" women or being players or fuckboys because these guys have sex, something the woman agreed to, and then leave, something the woman did not wish to happen. So they shame him because biologically speaking this is risky for the woman because it would have left her with a child which could have resulted in her dying or at least not living very well. We shame behavior that is bad for us.
As for not happening at all, well that's a misuse of the term then isn't it? That doesn't mean that shaming is bad because some one may mislabel some one or do so to hurt another. Just because something can be misused doesn't mean it doesn't have value when used correctly. Some people are overly controlling when it comes to there childrens behavior, does that mean no one should ever tell a child what to do? To let them do as they please when it pleases them? Of course not. Shaming is no different, call out those who are misusing the terms and allow for there proper use. Women are just as guilty of this (as I pointed out) as men are yet no where do you hear women calling out women for shaming men? Why is that exactly? Because its not in your best interest. Its in womens best interest to shame men for shaming them, and its in there best interest to shame men. That's why this argument is always made one sided, your not allowed to criticize women but there is no problem when its reversed.
@hellionthesagereborn your ramblings are getting too nonsensical to even debate any further. I will say however, shaming anyone, male or female is wrong and unnecessary. Bye bye.
Nonsensical? How so? Sounds like your running away from an argument because you can't actually argue against it. Shaming is social function that is vital to effective socialization and functioning. That's why we shame bad behavior, we shame liars, we shame cheaters, we shame laziness etc. etc. The idea that shaming is bad is quite honestly objectively wrong and outright stupid. The only reason your calling out shaming (which you shamed me and others for our stance on promiscuity (ironic isn't it?)) is because you want to be able to do what you want when you want and shaming it in turn closes that door to you, it may in fact affect you personally. Every one is perfectly fine with shaming until it comes time for them to be scrutinized, to be limited in what they can and cannot do. As I said statistics show the negative affects of promiscuity, that's undeniable. But believe as you will, your opinions will not change facts.
@hellionthesagereborn thank you FR again proving my point. Lying and cheating is bad behavior. That's not in dispute. But having sex is not bad behavior its private behavior. And as long as it's not hurting anyone, people should be free to have whatever kind of sex with whomever they choose, as often as the want. Sex is nobody's business. The number of persons one has sex with is their business. Not yours. Is 1 partner ok but 2 nit in your mind does it need to be 3 partners before you feel the need to shame someone for their private activities? Is it 5?, 6? It's private, personal behavior behind closed doors. not your business. Not social functioning. Private decision. You want to help better society? Run for fucking office, but as long as nobody is getting hurt, give people the freedom to live their lives the way they see fit. Not the way you see fit. Thank you for again proving my point with your continued nonsensical rantings.
How exactly did I prove your point? How is it a private matter if it has consequences that affect others? As I said plenty of studies have shown this. Its kind of like arguing that you having an STD is a private matter. Sure its a private matter, all the way up until you are about to have sex then its not. Same with number of sexual partners, if it puts some one else in harms way then it stops being personal. If you sleep around and have no intention of being in a relationship then fine, you don't need to tell any one or care about your behavior, but that's not what happens. Did you know that with the rise of birth control came a corresponding rise of divorce? The more partners a woman has the more likely she is to divorce, (again, 1% chance with 1 partner, 16% chance with two) which does in fact affect the man. So again this is not a private thing its something that can very much destroy a persons life, to not consider the ramifications of ones actions is selfish.
For clarification at no point did I ever say a person was not allowed to sleep around, I don't know why you would claim otherwise, I said there is a reason why men shame women who do and why women shame women and men who do. I stated it has negative consequences that can hurt the man and his future children so its not something that is irrational, its very much a rational decision to not want to be with a woman who sleeps around. Also claiming something is nonsensical is not the same as it being nonsensical. I have given you ample reasons why this happens, I have provided you with evidence and I stated it clearly. That is the opposite of nonsensical. You don't have to like it but again whether or not you like it does not alter the validity of the argument. All you have done is enable your/other women's behavior, behavior that will hurt them in the long run.
Sleeping around was at one time shameful for men too. It should be once more.
I don't think either man or woman taking sex frivolously is safe or good for them or future partners. But I don't believe they should be shamed for it.
So if you do a self destructive behavior you think that people should just keep there mouth shut and do nothing or say something to let you know its bad and going to ruin your life in the long run? I mean I understand that one shouldn't just damn the person for there behavior but without shaming you are essentially enabling the behavior.
LOL @ that analogy ever time I see it. Especially when a girl tries to use it.
A couple of things
1) Women aren't locks.
2) Cocks aren't keys
3) Not everyone is taught to think women sleeping with men is a bad thing. If you don't think that way, great, don't pass it on to your kids.
You can say it shouldn't matter, but the plain fact is it matters.
Maybe not to everyone, but clearly to some people it matters.
Putting all the talk about locks and keys aside...
Past performance is often an indicator of future results.
A promiscuous past usually means a promiscuous future.
There are exceptions, but people have to decide if it's worth it.
To a lot of us who prefer (red) a virgin, it's better to be selective.
Lock and key analogy is stupid because people are not objects. The stigma against women for engaging in casual sex is from the time when women were objects and marriages were contracts between families. Promiscuity while frowned upon for both genders for men people would look the other way
It matters for both sexes. I find a guy who sleeps around more disgusting as a women who does the same. Since I view males as potential mates promiscuity implies they are too much of a risk. People with high numbers are more likely to date others with high numbers. Simple holding someone to the same standard as you hold yourself to is my general opinion on the matter of promiscuity and relationships.
www.hookingupsmart.com/.../
There are very good reasons the strict expectations. The more sexual partners a WOMAN has, the more likely she will divorce! And the data supports this. Divorce rates are too high and women initiate 70% of divorces. Marriage rates are at an all time low.
So, for a Man wanting to start a Family, a wife/mother with zero partners is best. A Family with a Father AND Mother together is the best environment for raising children.
Read the Articles below...
www.dailymail.co.uk/.../...ine-likely-DIVORCE.html
www.huffingtonpost.com/.../...riage_n_5698440.html
Stefan Molyneux puts all the data together. Very interesting
https://youtu.be/um3EmS9DKsI?t=14m1s
That's an excellent video. It should be required viewing for all sex-ed classes
www.court-records.net/.../miles-crossed(c).gif
You have a point.
www.court-records.net/.../miles-point(c).gif
The problem is the dynamics of causal sex. Women find a way lower number of men attractive than the number of women men find attractive. This means women (who are open to casual sex) won't just put out with anyone and would get away with it (more so than men) because they have way more options.
For commitment, however, it a different dynamic. This is because most guys who get casual sex a lot are guys who don't want to commit. Guys who don't get casual sex as much will be more likely to give commit with hopes sex is frequent for them in return. These guys typically aren't that attractive to begin with (otherwise casual sex will be much more frequent) but they are all that's typically left. This leads to the idea of "settling" where attraction is sacrificed for the sake of safety and security.
Either way, a girl can fuck as many guys as she wants. I want a girl who has the insane hots for me at least. Personality traits follow afterwards.
To main thing to remember is that casual sex definitely has that attraction component in there and guys are getting it without any sort of commitment in the fold.
Sex shouldn't be compromised for commitment.
"You don't know if the guy will commit if you give sex up 'too easily'?"
Then you yourself to improve yourself and make yourself worth commiting to.
Not even reading. Wrong. It absolutely does, and anyone who thinks different has no valid opinion about anything.
Nice to see a take from a guy who isn't insecure 👏👏👏
Only insecure guys are ok with dating sluts. CONFIDENT GUYS DAYE DECENT GIRLS.
@asdsfgag only insecure girls care about another persons sex life.
@asdsfgag you do realise this is an opinion site? Where people discuss? You know why? Because I'm not a 21 year old virgin with a fake photo? That might be why?
@asdsfgag girl... just stop trying to make us buy what you're selling... nobody wants it : otherwise you wouldn't be trying to shove it down our throats
@FrenchyRomain 👏👌
@asdsfgag troll harder.
Having an emotional reaction to someone else's sexual and romantic choices is a major sign of insecurity. @Blonde401 is on da money here kiddo!
@Sara413 girls lets be mature and have a nice convo. I said I don't respect guys who date sluts. Is this wrong? AM I NOW ALLOWED TO HAVE A PREFERENCE FOR GUYS?
@Sara413 thank you for backing up my facts 😄
@asdsfgag those pics literally prove nothing. Same face, same clothes, same fake looking writing.
@asdsfgag so, let me get this straight... you jump on someone else's thread stating a judgmental, rude opinion in all caps, but once you're calmly called out for having an unnecessarily emotional response, you request a "mature" convo? Darlin, in this world you get what you give. You start a conversation being an asshole, expect people to talk to you like am asshole...
@Sara413 😂👏 thank you. Thought it was just me who was seeing this b/s
@Blonde401 nah don't worry hun this isn't the first time @asdsfgag pulled this kind of stunt ^^
Don't you wanna apologize for avcusimg me of catfishing? Did it hurt when you saw my post proving I am real?
@asdsfgag can you literally not read? That doesn't prove anything. Same pics, same clothes, same fake writing that's clearly done on a computer. I can smell the bullshit from here.
@FrenchyRomain ahh this is my first time dealing with this here catfish!
@Sara413 some of assholes did the same first
@asdsfgag not believing you are real makes you more confident in that we are delusional? so let's say you believe the earth is flat and we tell you it's a sphere we are delusional? get off your poney princess xD
@FrenchyRomain 😂😂😂 I can't even with this one. Utterly crazy catfish 😂 She's not even that nice looking, like calm down.
@FrenchyRomain you all know Ia real xause I probed. NO NEED TO ACT LIKE FOOLS FOR THE SAKE OF CONVINCING YOURSELF INTO WHAT BENEFITS YOU. i know believing I am real doesn't benefit you cause you wish I was ugly
@asdsfgag I don't have a heart so don't worry I'll be fine 😌 I'd also love to see you actually prove that's you. Oh wait, you can't. And even if it were you? You're not that hot. Just arrogant and dumb.
Sorry but to me I am 10 out of 10. Does this hurt you?
@asdsfgag to you , you are a 10. to us you are not even an 8
@FrenchyRomain so what? I Better be 10 to my hubby
@asdsfgag good luck with that xD
@asdsfgag you would think that because those photos aren't even you 😂 And you're so insecure it's painful. Get off my thread.
Laughing at you so hard. Nothing changes my face
@asdsfgag I wouldn't know what your face looks like seeing as those pics aren't you.
@asdsfgag there's nothing to be jealous of. But keep insulting me, you just prove my points.
Ok. I am tired of this back and forth. A question for you. Do you think it is wrong for me to want to date a sexually experienced guy instead of a virgin. If yes then why.
@asdsfgag it's not wrong it's actually quite logical : you want the best experoence in bed so you take someone with experience ^^ not a newbie
@FrenchyRomain so can an experienced guy date a pure girl then?
@asdsfgag the difference between you and me: I couldn't care less about yours or anyone else's sex life or the amount they have sex. It's not my business.
@asdsfgag and you're not pure. Just terrible in bed.
@asdsfgag an experienced guy can date a virgin yes, and a virgin guy can date an experienced girl, and virgins can date each other and experienced people can date each other... anyone can date anyone
@Blonde401 #Savage but true
@FrenchyRomain no savage. I ABSOLUTELY DON'T care how goog or bad I will be at my furst time. But she definitely cares. lol
@asdsfgag yes I can. Have you ever had sex? No? Congrats. You're terrible in bed. Not hard to tell is it. And I don't care. You asked a question, I answered. You're the one using caps, not me.
My looks are great enough to make his dick hard as rock and have intense orgasms. Not very terrible though
@asdsfgag 😂😂😂 god you sound so stupid. Troll harder or get out.
@asdsfgag if you've done that you've had sex and you're no longer pure so... keep up with your own lies.
Who said I have done that? Just because guys get hard seeing me doesn't mean having sex with me. And didn't you know guys are very visual?
@asdsfgag how are you giving him an orgasm then? Him giving himself one isn't you giving him one
@asdsfgag and it's not difficult to get a dick hard 😂
If I can make a man hard I can make him even harder when I get naked. YOU SEE i won't be terrible when I have actual sex.
@asdsfgag you will be. All virgins are bad in bed. And You won't be pure then.
@asdsfgag so basically you are a cam whore? You send many nudes? You show yourself naked on skype? And you consider yourself pure?
@FrenchyRomain 👏 yes.
@FrenchyRomain nope never. Guys just get hard when they see me. I never do anything
All virgins are bad? Have you had sex with all female virgins? And even if I am bad that doesn't bother me. My looks alone are enough to get my man hard
@asdsfgag suuuuure they do. It's called delusion, look it up.
@asdsfgag I've had sex with more female virgins than you. So I can speak from experience. Unlike you.
@asdsfgag prove that's you or get off my thread. Last chance.
Lol how can a girl judge a girls inexperience. LOL. Did this girl take your dick not easily?
@asdsfgag you think it takes skill to take a dick? 😂 My god you're naive. Taking a dick takes no skill. Doesn't make you good in bed.
Girl I Dont care how a girl can please another girl. Lol fongering eating out and others lesbian shits are gross to me. I care about pleasing his dick and getting pleasure from his dick. Sorry but your opinion on my bedroom skills are shit to me
@asdsfgag you sound so pure girl.
I love being pure and then belong to only one man.
@asdsfgag oh honey... you think simply looking good counts as being good in bed.. you're in for a shock when you start taking the cock lol No matter how good you look, if you don't do anything but take the D any guy will get bored of you very quickly... that's one of the biggest complaints I hear from guys about the women they sleep with - that they think their job is just to look good while he does all the work
@Sara413 I never said I will lay like a dead fish. The thoughts of it even turns me off. ALL i said was no matter if I won't be able to do some tricks (if they exist lol) my looks are enough to get him hard. Just because I am a virgin doesn't mean I won't show affection and love
@asdsfgag Well said. Its the guys who want easy sex that want a woman to give it up easily without having to invest in her. Its also mostly women with issues that sleep around. Statistically women with higher self esteem and stronger relationships with there fathers are significnatly less likely to sleep around then a woman who doesn't have those things. In fact some psychologist have started viewing promiscuity as a form of self harm.
I personally don't worry about being compared to a girl's past sexual partners as sex is different with each person regardless of their count. I find it irrelevant more than anything.
Sorry I meant to post that on the comment above.
IRL no guy has ever asked for my number or cared at all.
Actually I've been asked. But it didn't end up being a dealbreaker for him. I lied anyway. Not that I have a high number but I don't divulge sexual history to anyone I date
@pooper89 why would you lie though? You don't trust him?
@ThisDudeHere because it's not his business.
@sp33d Fine, not his business, but not her problem if he leaves her due to her withholding information that he deems important. I would not stay with a girl who outright lies to me.
@ThisDudeHere She needs not say anything, hence there would be no lie. My only concern is her mental and physical health. I don't know and don't need to know her "number" or "body count" or what ever you want to call it. I'd never bother to attempt a relationship with a woman just so we could make demands of one another back and forth. What's the point?
@sp33d withholding information is no better than lying. That's just a display of a lack of honesty. I could never attempt a relationship with a woman with a high number so I would like to know, otherwise what's the point?
@ThisDudeHere So you don't have a high number yourself and want someone like you. I think that's totally cool.
@ThisDudeHere Health concerns are understandable, if that is your reason. On another note, you have no privilege to make demands and neither does she. You don't demand trust, you earn it. It takes time. Your posts make you look impatient/reckless. Is the high number a problem because it makes you think she a ho? Not loyal? Is it because of what @redeyemindtricks said? That you are insecure about your position in the pussy-smasher hierarchy?
@ThisDudeHere But I think it's the tone that bothers people, not the basic idea. Saying "I need a low count partner, because that's just like me" Is totally different from "I don't want a high count partner, because it's bad to sleep with so many ppl"
@sp33d that's all relevant. What matters to me is that I'd want to know. If she doesn't want to tell me, fine - her freedom to do so but it's then my freedom to leave.
people.
Oh crap thought GAG removed the auto change, from changing the shortened/textspeak into regular words. I don't think it's common to ask for the number, lots of people think it's awkward. Like why does he even want to ask, to compare himself to me right? So I think I might leave him. And I haven't even had a hookup IRL yet, only a few guys/relationships. I know you weren't replying to me (although why not reply to me...) But I thought it was interesting you said this.
@ThisDudeHere (if I even need the @ who knows)
Well it just matters to me. A preference is a preference and I'm allowed to have one.
Sure, but I don't think it'll go over well. I would hate being compared, because even if he liked my number... well, it can be all in how you say it. Like I said, if he said he wants a low count partner like him that'd be cool with me.
@ThisDudeHere Geez the @ lol
I don't think you need the @ - we get notifications anyway I think.
I think only if you have it turned on to get them? Or not?
Possibly.
@ThisDudeHere withholding information about how many people I've slept is not a life or death situation.
@pooper89 of course it isn't. As I said, you're free to do so but I am free to leave the relationship if there is no honesty. I mean - if you REALLY didn't care about your numbers as much as you say you do - why not just tell them?
@ThisDudeHere Preference, indeed, but honestly, you do not make sense right now. Would you really keep to your right to leave after you have been going out with a woman for weeks and you enjoy one another's company and everything is great and then you pop the big question: how many dudes have you been with? Unless, that's something in your protocol that you ask women immediately? First date: so, you sleeping around a lot? Do you get why what you say is nonsensical to me and possibly to a lot of others?
@sp33d I would not pop the question right away but I would ask it at some point later.
@ThisDudeHere lol absolutely.. if a guy cared about something so trivial I'd want him to leave. I've only ever been with one guy and I'm married to him but if I was single and dating again I wouldn't diverge that info 'cause I'd want him to leave because some one that puts so much weight on such things is not anyone I could be long term with. When I was dating my Husband I didn't even tell him my "number" and I was a virgin.
Also @ThisDudeHere you keep saying you'd leave if she lied, which is fine and your right... but your assuming that you would know, you do get that there is a good chance you'd never find out about the lie though right?
@flypaper Well apparently if you were single again, we wouldn't work well together, disregarding the age gap. And I do know that there is a good chance I'd never find out and that sucks. Wasting my life with a liar is not something I look forward to.
@ThisDudeHere ignorance is v bliss
@pooper89 no for me. I would rather know the harsh truth.
@ThisDudeHere The guy should be happy I even let him fuck me. Just saying...
@pooper89 you are not some prize that he should be proud that he gets to put his dick in to.
@ThisDudeHere Actually yes I am.
@pooper89 kudos to you if you think that way but any man worth his salt will disagree.
@ThisDudeHere That's how the world works. I choose who gets to fuck me. I choose who's baby I have. Women make the world go round.
@ThisDudeHere I mean, not in Africa but... you get the point.
@pooper89 By all means think that way.
The only time I ask is when a girl I'm dating asks me first, I notice a lot of females are just as curious about how many females a guy has been with especially when it comes to rivalries to females who dont like each other etc, i also even though this has nothing to do with the question notice that a lot of times women don't dress for men, they dress to to show off to other females.
@Jorge567 Yeah, most women dress to impress other women (makes friends) or show off or just to real confident for themselves which may or may not have to do with the first 2... what else would be the reason for 100+$ purses or shoes... generally guys won't know anything about that stuff or care at all-lol.
@pooper89 Keeping it a secret I can understand, but straight up lieing? Not a sign of a healthy relationship, dear...
Q1: What do you think about a lock that's in good condition which normally opens to many keys, but when owned, only opens to one key?
- It would be naive of me to assume that It will "only" open for me once "owned."
"Q2: What do you think about a lock that normally opens to a select few keys, but when owned can still open to multiple keys?"
-I will be staying the fuck away from that.
The problem is that women that sleep around, or have done it in the past, are awful girlfriends, they suck at being in a relationship. So it kinda does matter, because no guy wants to be with a shitty girlfriend.
Sure, it doesn't matter if you don't want anything with her, but if you're interested in having something serious, and she is/was a promiscuous girl, then it does matter.
Not really lol. My girlfriend has slept around. Not nearly as much as me but she is a badass girlfriend. Not shitty in the least.
@Chico_brah ale likes to generalize and assume the worst 😂
@Chico_brah There's always exceptions to the rules. In my experience, it's better to stay away from promiscuous girls. Not saying she has to be a virgin, just not have been around the block. @teawrecks No.
What if she slept around but was a good girlfriend with you?
I'm not gonna date a woman that has fucked around. I don't mind a few casual hookups, that's ok and normal, but sleeping around is a no. I've yet to meet a girl like that who isn't fucked up.
Do you actually come in contact with these women?
@Chico_brah Yes, been in contact with these type of women since I was 16.
I was quite promiscuous in my 20s and my relationship is very health, very stable. I am a fucking awesome girlfriend, actually... if your woman is a shitty partner it's not because she's had a few dicks in her - it's because you, her or both of you are not happy or satisfied in the relationship.
@Sara413 ^^ Can I get a "mmhmm" Had I only been with a couple of boys before my husband, there's no way I would be able to slam a lid on the incessant thoughts of "What else is out there?" "This is good... but, I want the BEST" and so on. ... Well, not only do I have lots of colorful, enjoyable (and sometimes comical) memories now, but, I damn well KNOW my man is the best damn thing out there. <3 <3 ... I mean, this isn't just a sexual trait. In general, I'm a restless, ambitious "life-hacker" who tries to optimize absolutely everything in life, and who DEPLORES the notion of "settling" (... not to be confused with compromise, which is a fundament of any halfway decent rl). The "comfort trap" doesn't exist, with me. I'm high-risk, high-return. Women like me -- and men like me, too -- NEED to get around before we can rlly, truly believe in our heart of hearts that we won the game, and aren't stuck with a consolation prize. Others -- men and women alike -- are perfectly happy with
"stability", and will prtty much be equally satisfied with anything that'a **adequate**. (The same personality type also tends to stick with one career for her/his entire working life -- sometimes with one company the whole time -- and, often, won't even move out of the city/metro area where they grew up.) If someone exhibits THIS kind of pattern throughout life, then, Ale, yeah, I can understand how you might think something is a little "off" about an otherwise uncharacteristic pattern of sexual adventurousness, from someone who otherwise isn't a thrill-seeker at all. Regardless, tho, you'd still have to think about the individual circumstances.
Lol ok if you girls wanna believe that, you're free to do so :)
Ale, do you think *boys* who fuck around will inevitably make shitty boyfriends/husbands? If not, what makes you so ardently convinced that there's such a black and white distinction?
@redeyemindtricks it's possible. I don't interact with men with the intentions of getting in a relationship, so I can't tell you my experience with them because I don't know, unlike with promiscuous women, but if I had to guess, I'd say men are the same. Like I said, I've never met a promiscuous woman who isn't full of issues and who will be a good girlfriend. You can give me your opinion and your belief, but it's not gonna change my opinion and my experiences, just like my opinion isn't gonna change yours.
Ale, you and I might not even be disagreeing as much as it looks like we are. In fact, I mostly AGREE with the idea that women -- and men -- who **are into fucking around right now** are very unlikely to make solid faithful partners NOW, to someone they might happen to meet NOW. I mean, honestly that's mostly just common sense. If someone is in the "sowing wild oats" stage and fundamentally doesn't WANT monogamy, then... well... round peg, square hole, yeah. On the other hand, if you're implying that such women/men CAN'T EVER make suitable partners... well... dude that's a load of horseshit. People can -- and do -- change, and evolve, into forms that would be almost unrecognizable to their 10-years-earlier selves. Not just sexually, either. I mean, ever meet someone who was a big hippie in the '60's or '70's? Dude like 97 percent of them are über-conservative corporate drones now. Like, hot can become cold, black can become white, etc. Also... the three people I know who are the
calmest under stress, and who can handle the most adversity without lashing out, ALL have personal histories of violence, hot-headedness, and emotional instability, back in the day. ... And do I know people (both men and women) who were once promiscuous af, and who are now completely (and proudly) monogamous? And do I know others who grew up with "sex shd wait" shoved down their throats, and now they go to swingers' parties every other weekend? Yes and yes, yr damn right I do. ... but, if you aren't generalizing beyond **right this moment**, then... well yh.
Q1: How am I, as a consumer, guaranteed that this lock will do what the seller says it will do? I'm not necessarily saying that the seller's claims are false, but what reason do I have to believe that it will become selective after my purchase, all of a sudden, when it has opened to any and every key thus far?
The point is, you can never know whether or not a lock will do what it's supposed to do, so you look for *indications*. If a lock opens to any key before my purchase, that *indicates* that it will do the same once in my posession.
So, why on earth would I choose a questionable lock, when there are plenty of others that have been proven to do their jobs correctly?
Q2 and Q3: Again, how do I know how the lock will behave once I've bought it? If we are looking at *indications*, this lock is slightly more appealing at first. It hasn't opened to quite as many keys, but it's still a pretty shitty lock.
That's an extremely silly analogy.
Yeah man I totally agree. I think the lock and key analogy is a funny one, but doesn't really apply to the reality of sex, love, dating, etc. But it is funny.
I prefer a girl with a higher number to be honest, given that she is confident.
I have to honestly ask: when people write Takes like these, are they really trying to convince the plurality of us all? Or themselves? Sometimes it seems like the writer is trying to convince themselves much more than convince us.
by the way i'm not offended by the lock and key analogy. For example:
My heart is a lock and only the right person has the key to it. It is not objectifying women. It's symbolism.
Lots of great points in here. I would never know or trust what's best for me without trying a bunch first hand. Hell, if Guy#2 was the best for me, I'd be married by now. But that's not the case with life for the most part. Sometimes people seek physical and emotional love/acceptance because they are craving it and didn't have enough love growing up. I think most people want to be the best partner to their match and if you want it, you will get it, no matter your past or number.
No, you won't. Many women found this out the hard way. They lost so much because they believed that it didn't matter when it does. Men are wired to avoid promiscuis women (for relationships) and when these women get older they find that no one wants them, they are not as pretty as they once where and since they where so busy trying to live a fantasy they don't even know how to function in a relationship, they are untrustworthy because of what they have done (being impulsive, thinking of sex as meaning nothing (which is an issue for men because if sex is meaningless then she is far more likely to give it away to anybody resutling in him caring for a child that is not his or cheating or leaving him (all of which she is statistically more likely to do). Actions have consequences, never forget that. The greatest injustice done to women is by those (many of them other women) who try and tell them otherwise.