Why are men so obviously bad at sex?

Why are men so obviously bad at sex?

I apologize in advance for generalizing, and I am sure not all men are like this, so please just accept this as a rant, I need to vent!

I am 34 and I had many partners (around 16) and all of them sucked. Some sucked from the beginning never bothered learning, some sucked but learned over time, and some weren't even aware of how much they sucked thinking they rocked my world!

Alright, we know that my generation of boys didn't have enough eduction on sex and most didn't have good father figures, but it is 2023 I am not buying into these excuses anymore. You can learn anything on the internet!

There is a vast difference between men and women when it comes to sex, and it seems like men are just complete idiots that fail to remember this. I am talking about BASIC things! I am yet to meet a man who likes forplay. They don't like it, they do it for women. Actually not even for women, women are completely irrelevant when it comes to anything, they do it to either impress her or smooth out the penetration. For men, it is all about blowing the load. And as fast as possible! Until it charges again and then do it again. It is like they are programmed to do this, like they MUST blow it no matter if world is ending, like no control! They watch porn and masturbate super quickly to it, then go to a woman and masturbate super quickly on her, basically. Male arousal is completely different then female's, most guys think that if a woman is super wet then that means she is to ready orgasm, lol. Well, at least that one was wet, how about 90% others that are fucked dry? I can't even count how many times a man would jus to force his dick into my dry pussy, not realizing why it's not getting in.

If you ask both a man and a woman, what is for them a bad sex, men will say bad sex is when they didn't cum, and women will say bad sex is when it hurts (and almost every incourse hurts in some positions). I came to just one realization why are women so unsatisfied sexually: they settle for selfish jerks! Yes this world is full of selfish male lovers who simply do not care. I refuse to believe that men are biologically so freaking bad at sex, it must be the selfishness. Women are silent about it because they don't know any better, and it is so sad. So, so sad. So if one woman would reject a guy for his lack of sexual skills or willigness to learn, there's another one just around the corner ready to take it in dry for 2 minutes.

Another problem is their insanly huge, unrealistic egos. That thing is scarier then anything! If you tell a man that something is not working for you sexually, be prepared for that ego to smack you right back in your face - by getting ghosted.

Looking at my experience and of my female friends, we all agree that around 90% of our sexual partners sucked big time. And if you google about it, it makes your stomach turn on how wide this issue is in general.

You know what? I am done. If I was completely honest, I experience WAY MORE please when I masturbate. How sad is that! I have stronger emotional connection with my dildo then with any grown ass man. So what's the point in sex? I mean, I am amazed how little men care about women's pleasure, amazed! How can someone be a good person and not reciprocate the favor of orgasm? I would be having really hard time walking away from someone who is left unsatisfied, I simply cannot do it, the guilt would eat me away! Even if it's a one night stand, I mean it's still a person. So my conclusion is that any man who cums (and then falls asleep or goes home) and woman just stays there without orgasm, is a bad person. A really, really bad person.

I know many girls will comment how this is not true and how your partners give you pleasure, but just think very good about it, and about all your ex partners, you will know what I'm talking about. There number of times a man had "bad" sex is same as the number of times a woman had "good" sex.

I do not want to hear any more excuses. We fucked it up, ladies. It's our fault! Actually, the ones who are not educated enough is us women! We created simps and pussies with the feminism and equality shit. I beg you ladies, do not settle for less! I will never again fake an orgasm or be nice about lousy treatment. I don't care about their ego, their not getting a time of day anymore before making me cum. I'm just done with lame, evil people.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • I think you mean “obliviously”, not “obviously”. You’re in your mid 30s and takes 16 sexual partners for you to realize that they apparently “sucked” or were “bad at sex”… 🧐


    I am almost 30 had a fraction of the amount of partners you have had (lol guess!) and they all really liked me and never said anything about my bad sex! Im no pro and not even close and will admit it not worried too much on the bs of getting the best at sex especially since I left every girl satisfied or at least they put up a good front and lied to me about everything lol either way, I’m no big deal and neither were they, sadly. I also never have dated since I never full liked them (loved them) as much as I would like a crush with the butterflies or I just wasn’t attracted to them both mentally and physically and plain and simply was ready for sex. Lol all but one was a drunken situation and they all have came to me and super lead they way. I’m also not an asshole and my mom says I’m handsome lol but I think she kinda has to haha she’s my mom.. I also really like good conversations, making people laugh and I think they liked my charisma and how I made them feel definitely more than what meets the eye; my height, bankroll, looks, B. O., lol my penis. And if anything, especially the first couple times, I was very insecure asking for validation type questions afterwards. Got my answers, learned, learned not to do things like asking insecure questions for many reasons but they make me look and feel more insecure. Gained confidence then used it for the next experience, and so on.
    I will also agree.. for the guy (take note) is a lot about Busting That nut, you know, that real nut because the first nut is a crazy explosion and best sensation and the second boner let alone 2nd nut is way way way less satisfying it’s like beating a video game, or for you ladies, it’s like reading a book…The second time! It’s alright but, can’t compare to the first explosion…”when he’ll tell you, ‘it was great!’🥸” The 3rd one is more just about reaching to 3 and nothing more. Men are sensitive extremely sensitive about cumming mentally and physically! We do focus on that and it makes us look and seem selfish. I also feel like we also get too caught up in the moment and don’t really take a break and just think of things will only escalate. Watching porn definitely doesn’t help because all you see is the Straight up action and they all end with that climax. Obviously the dudes you’ve been messing around with were inspired from porn.


    By understanding this, no, it doesn’t change how men are “designed”. You must TELL HIM your needs so he will be “programmed” for your needs.

    I know girls once they cum if they can just keep it cumming and cumming and it’s apparently better and better i must assume. For men, it’s super difficult to control and easy to let it all go. Once again in my experiences, which weren’t many, I just simply took my time and I kind of talked it through and communicated. I also really like making out and stuff and taking my time and every time as I kinda didn’t look at it as foreplay as me just being playful or entertained. They just lead the way or basically told me to take control and I did. One thing I will say, is that girls always always always want the guy to make the first move when the guy never does. I definitely know especially as a guy making the first move is the way to go, even though it’s very daunting. I feel as if most girls given the right situation or opportunity will make you (the guy) make a first move. I was definitely insecure about my lack of experience, but I know they appreciated me as they all said great things, my communication I know helped.. I did make sure that they like “this”, and not “that”. Or how bout “this”


    Back to your side of the story… 16 guys and they were all that bad? Apparently you did tell them to get better but at what point do you except the accountability for your actions? You never described the differences in these “16 guys”. What were they all around the same age? At any point after the first seven have you noticed a pattern? considered looking for an older or experienced guy? I do understand that girls definitely get lots of guys coming and goin way way easier than guys do than girls I’ve seen on there. I know girls I work with that have Tinder accounts and they flooded with too many options. It’s crazy too! There’s girls out there in their young 20s with already 20,30+ bodies (blame the media/tinder) maybe because of the same reasons or maybe they’re a little sluttier and they like a variety of sex more. Lol I don't know, can’t speak for these hoes. I’m just saying at some point you need to put a little more blame on yourself and it’s perfectly fine and okay to blame yourself sometimes if you want improvement. you don’t ask the guys! What are you evil? “ Yeah Joe everything last night was awesome but the sex. What is your deal? Did Mom not tell you how to fuck?” it’s safe to say if you fuck up sexually do not ask the partner ask yourself then ask a friend then ask yourself again. From there you got to tell yourself what the next move is if you have no motive for the next move, you’re not going anywhere. I think telling the Internet, “ the 16 guys I’ve had sex with were lame.” doesn’t make you a victim. Not not trying to be an asshole but have you ever asked yourself if the lame one was you? Do you expect to hit the bull’s-eye every time you throw a dart or win at bingo every time you play? A bold statement like that really puts yourself on your own mile high pedestal. Having better than life expectations easily leads to failure, unsatisfaction, sadness, depression. I don’t want you to think that you are lame. Because with 16 different dicks inside you're at least not a pussy and really knows how yours works. That’s not what I am trying to address, but what I am trying to address is that the only one picking partners for you is you. If you want better sex start small, lower your bar of satisfaction. But strive for better! Boom, there you have it! Guys do suck at sex, yes. Am you giving up? No! Will you find it? Yes, someone is out there! I really don’t think you’re that lame at all. Your attitude was definitely quite lame about all this but it’s OK and what you can change is your attitude and generalizing will only hurt your thought process. Once you say “every guy”…, “All women do…” closes the mind absolute and not just hurst but kills many potential opportunities. Isn’t somebody with potential worth fighting for? Someone not in the general is there lol by definition he has to be we just don’t know where he is

    • This is one of the best opinions I have read in this website! I like how you express yourself! Keep being like that.

    • Thanks my dude I almost forgot about this one. Once I read this I felt shots fired so I had to fire right back! I’m not sure if it helped her or not but, I tried! @Sanser

  • Thanks and I would say this is a wonderful take.

    Sorry to read you're so discontented with almost all your 16 guys who were once special.

    And yes, TBH, it took me a while before I realize how different sex is between a guy and a girl.

    And you're right. All we need is to poke in and release.

    And so often we thought you girls are pleasured when you moan and cum (fake).

    Not trying to excuse us as a hopeless gender, we really do not know what pleases you.

    An it's made worse if there's no intimate relationship.

    No I'm not apologizing because I think you girls bears half the fault.

    First, you made it easy for us. The once reserved for marriage only is now free everywhere.

    Next you simply feel too awkward to talk. And really, it's OK to tell us you don't like.

    Finally, do tell us how to do it so that you like it.

    Good take! But also have mercy on us, for we're but men 😁

    • Hey thanks for not leashing out on me! And yes you are right that it's mostly women's fault and that we need to communicate more. The problem is that most guys don't take it well. My latest ex would cum in under 2 minutes every time and fall asleep. Then I asked him why and he said he is tired. Then next time he came around I asked him if he is tired and he said no. Then we have sex again and same thing happens. Then I get a bit frustrated and ask again why now, then he tells me he is too sensitive. Then I have to fucking drag the words out his mouth as to why he is sensitive and how can we fix this, for him to get annoyed and change the subject quickly. His words were "alright alright I get it, sorry" just to never hear fom him again.

    • There were many other examples, one of my exes hated fingering me longer then 5 minutes because his hand gets cramps. And it's not like he would switch the hand or use the toys, nope he would just stop in the middle of it with "oh my god will you come already!". Like wow. Then there was one other who would go on top of me and pound me so freaking fast from the get go, and I stopped him and told him to slow down, and he is like "okay sorry" then he slows down for 5 seconds and starts hammering again ultra fast. I think I told him to slow down 5 times, after that I was just done and stop telling, let him cum the way he wants. Another fast one told he simply can't slow down, like it's a matter of fact and I should shut up. So these are all basics, don't even get me started on "experimental" stuff, it's a fairytale for women. The slut shaming is just too common, and I believe it's because men just can't accept that a woman could know better then them, they think if she knows so much and is so detailed and so demanding, must be because she fucked 1000 guys. I knew better about sex then most men even when I was virgin, why is it so hard for a man to accept that he is simply bad? I mean there is nothing wrong in being bad, I am not telling to put him down, I am telling to fix it! They just take it as a huge attack on their amazing selfs.

    • So, you see why most of us don't even bother communicating anymore. Especially for people over 30, it's like teaching someone about right and wrong, basic things! No one wants to deal with that.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • Well sounds like you want only sexual satisfaction but you need to realize that good sex doesn't come from one night stands and casual relationships. Good sex comes with having a good partner in genreal, someone you connect with, care for and have love for and of course vice versa. If a man is selfish in bed, than he is selfish in other things as well. If you only had one sex with a guy, give him a chance, he may as well just be nervous and under a lot of preassure or just unexperienced (men lie about it all the time cause they are preassure to be sex gods). Point is get to know them well before you have sex, if a man cares for you he will more likely be willing to learn. And trust me guys that are just wham bam thank you mam dont have great sex either and its not much different than jerking off to them, for men sex is also more enjoyable when they care about their partner and connect with them.

    • "you need to realize that good sex doesn't come from one night stands and casual relationships" see you being brain-washed to think like this is actually the biggest problem. It is so common that it became "normal", lol. No, I don't buy that crap either, ONS and casual is not the problem, the problem are vast majority of men who are ruining it for women.

    • Im just telling you that guys that are about ons and casual will be selfish cause they do not care about you

    • I tend to agree with @devilish-cutie, it's been said on here so many times that every women is different, so a guy in a one night stand or casual sex situation, is not going to know/learn all the in's and out's of a girl he met overnight. Really good sex comes from a guy that is truly interested in satisfying the girl and not just himself. Guys can only get really good at sex when they finally know their partner. The girl has to be willing to open up though and can't expect him to figure it out.

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  • ITS LIKE SOMEONE READ MY FUCKING MIND AND PAIN AND EXPRESSED IT IN ONE POST.

    Girl you are NOT alone in this!!!
    I fkn alternate between

    1- let me excourage him and maybe he will pick up what I love and learn

    2- I should just talk to him!!! Why do I suck so bad at expressing my sexual needs if I tell him it will kill his ego and make him feel bad

    3- doesn’t this guy fkn feel bad at constantly cumming quickly and never giving me head or anything? Does he not give a shit about me?

    4- ugh fuck this I’ll just masturbate

    it makes me feel like if I want foreplay my needs are annoying. And just because I’m wet doesn’t mean mentally I’m there. I’m not just tits and a pussy. My neck my tummy my thighs are sensitive explore those! Tease me. Build suspense. Give me head. Sex is not just getting head and blowing a load 😡😡😡😡😡

    • You do realize that the majority of women cannot orgasm via sex alone. Scientific fact

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  • I'm not sure what guys you been with, but I jizz on her juggernauts and then lick her nipples after she starts to cry. I've been told I'm the most enthusiastic about boobs and healing inner wounds where other guys bypass their bazookas like they were nothing.

  • i think that part of your frustration is down to the fact that you want to orgasm every time you have sex. i get it, its nice and thats what us guys do, but it is well known and documented that ladies are lucky if they orgasm once every 5 times of having sex, in fact its extremely had women to orgasm from just penetrative sex.

    its different between the two sexes. men can go from nothing to horny to explosion in less than 5 minutes easily. for a lady it takes time and emotion to get to that stage. men are very visual character and when we see something that we like we get hard and can have sex. for a lady it takes time, you have to get them in the mood, set the scene and then have sex. i was once told that sex for a lady starts early in the day, being complimented when the wake up and get dressed, a few kisses throughout the day and gentle touches etc. then when it comes to sex, us men need to spend time making you feel good and getting you excited. this is the point when us men are ready for action and can't hold back normally. we need to make you aroused and feel sexy, we need to make sure that you are happy and comfortable, we need to ensure that you are feeling it other wise you will never orgasm.

    its a bit of a mind field for both sexes as we want and expect different things.

    like has been said, meeting a guy in a bar of friends with benefits is not the way to go for ladies as they dont have the emotional connection, they haven't been wooed all day to make themselves feel good and built up to want sex. if you meet a guy in the bar, its always going to be bad sex and chances of orgasming is very low.

    again like has already been said, its both sexes fault and women need to be responsive and forcoming in telling us guys what you like and want, not just complaining about it.

    if you ex was not up for it, what did you do to make him up for it? did you wear his favorite lingerie or that thing that he really likes? i have had ex's that have got dressed up for me so that i am in the mood for it and to help me be ready for when they are.

    if you ex couldnt finger you for more than 5 minutes did you ask him to use the toys instead? did you make it fun for him? or did you just say i haven't orgasmed and carry on? have you ever taken the lead, instead of just saying slow down, suggest changing positions so you are in control of the speed and position?

    i would suggest that if you lower your expectations, e. g. you know that it'll be bad and not expect it to be mind blowing and orgasm every time, you may just be surprised at one or two of them and actually enjoy it more.

    i know that i won't last 30 minutes, not sure many guys can unless they have issues with their bodies, so i try and take the time in the build up and make it fun for them. its always best when a lady says i like this or this and then i can do that for them before sticking it in and having my fun.

    • You're an idiot. I can make a woman come pretty much any which way, even when I'm inside her. It is mostly about technique and partly about the woman's anatomy with regard to how easily a good grind can stimulate her clit, and also her mindset as to whether she can relax enough to enjoy the fucking she's getting. My last partner would have "breastgasms" from fondling and licking her tits, and I would make sure she had at least five orgasms before actual intercourse. From a cold start, one time I got her off in less than two minutes just fingering her. She had been married three times and had probably slept with at least a dozen guys before me, but becuase she trusted me and could relax when we got naked she found a different kind of pleasure was possible.

  • I honestly thought that was pretty good and pretty true in a lot of different ways
    Guys start out wrong and never learn

    Most guys start out in school not to make love have sex or fuck. Most guys want the quick pick up the 2 min fuck and on the 3rd min they are calling there friends.
    And saying guess who I just fucked and she was terrible I had to do all work I had to show her blah blah blah blah blah just to get that little notch on their belt but you noticed they don't tell the truth that's the only lasted 2 minutes and in all reality they were the ones that sucked and for some reason they just keep going like that all their life but there are some guys who want to make it all about the girl. Who take there time and once they get past there prcum they can take her there more than once. Every guy is different just like every girl is different it's up to both to communicate what they like and what they don't like I learned what I was 15 and 1/2 16 years old that you have to make it all about the girl you have to be able to read her eyes the color of her cheeks The Way She Moves The Way She Moves everything she does because in that moment she's talking to you telling you everything that she wants and if you don't know how to do that then you're pretty well fucked

    You can tell our guys going to be within the first month if he's rushing things if he's fast if he's breathing hard disk he thinks it's his last piece of ass he's ever going to get that means he's going to be selfish and he's going to be done in 2 minutes a guy that goes down on you and has foreplay and is not in a hurry whatsoever that's usually going to be the guy that's going to send you to the Moon

    A guy that communicates to you about sex it seems to be a good thing one of the first things I do is I asked what type of sex do you like nowadays I want it rough I like it rough I will shake my head okay start out in slow motion and keep going in slow motion and she might get a little bit pissy in the beginning but I guarantee you 10 minutes into it you could start speeding up and show grab a hold of you like vice grips and tell you no no do not go fast do not go slow please just keep going slow because most have never ever experienced somebody making love to them like I said each girl is different each guy is different and if you want it to be good you have to communicate about it and you have to have a guy that's not going to make it all about himself but he's in bed with you and if he's not doing something that you like you need to communicate that to him too it goes both ways but he should be able to read in your eyes like I said the color of your cheeks the way you touch the Way You Kiss everything about you you know exactly what you want in that given moment and either take you there or does a complete opposite and make you real crazy and then take you there

  • Men suck at sex because they don't have enough experience, are selfish and don't understand that the best sex they could ever have is with a woman that they've already made come several times. My take - If I've given a woman one, two, three or more orgasms using whatever techniques I know BEFORE I worry about getting my rocks off inside of her, she is much more enthusiastic about it and most likely will want to be with me again. My last girlfriend "didn't know I could do that." What? "Have that many orgasms." Typically 5 to 7 from massage, fingering, oral and even just from breastplay, sometimes more than 10 if we had enough time. A "new" guy has to deal with all of the bad sex that a woman has had with other guys prior to him and figure out how to get her to relax, trust him, and just enjoy the ride before he is able to "satsify" her. Once she is able to do that, it's the best sex you can have, the kind where you connect at a higher level than just two people trying to get pleasure from each other before going their own separate ways. Sorry that you have been so unlucky at finding a guy that knows what he's doing and makes sure that you enjoy yourself. We're out here, usually much older (I didn't have a clue about how to do what I do so well now until I was in my 40s) and we are more than happy to teach you how to get what you want out of sex. Maybe you are looking in the wrong places or you want mister musclebound Himbo with more tats than brains who is used to banging cute bimbos that only want to know that they can get that hunky guy into bed, only to find out that he's got no fucking game at all.

  • This breaks my heart because, in looking back, I was that way for years and didn't realize it.

    I had girlfriends from the time I was 16. There was no internet or even VCR then, so I had no idea what I was doing. I didn't even know that girls were wet and juicy until my first time. And I never heard of a clitoris. My girlfriends loved me and seemed to enjoy the sex, and I just assumed that what they wanted was the same thing I wanted.

    So again, in looking back, I used them for my own gratification thinking that they were getting the same gratification. I doubt that they were, even though they never said anything.

    Of course I improved. I learned what a clit was and went down on them. But my foreplay was lacking.

    I was 36 when I started dating one particular woman. She was 30. She was very good at kissing. I think I was, too.

    The first time she invited me into the house she was renting, she sat me on her bed and then laid me back. To my amazement, she began undressing me, beginning with my shoes and socks, then my pants and shirt and, finally my boxers. It was an erotic experience.

    After looking me over with approval, she went across the room and began undressing. She did it slowly and methodically, not as if she was alone, but not like a strip tease. She seemed a bit shy. As she revealed herself, I realize that she was more beautiful than I had expected. In fact, she was my perfect feminine ideal.

    Once she was naked, she came to me and climbed onto the bed. We kissed passionately for a while, but then she started making love to my body in ways that I had never experienced.

    She slowly and tenderly licked and breathed into my ear. It made my head spin and sent tingles through my body. She moved to the side of my neck and down to my collar bone. She began working her way around my chest.

    I was afraid that she would lick my nipple because mine are sensitive and I thought it would be unpleasant. But she slowly kissed and licked with the tip of her tongue, getting closer and closer. By then I was breathing really hard.

    When she did touch my nipple, she was very tender. I was still afraid but, her technique was so skillful that I trusted her. I stuck a knuckle in my mouth and bit down to keep from twisting away when she did start licking my nipple.

    The sensation was intense, but I realized that it didn't hurt, she was causing no harm, and it actually felt more amazing than anything I had ever experienced.

    She was just as skillful when she worked her way down my stomach.

    I'll spare you what she did after that, except to say that it even included my inner thighs.

    Anyway, it was like a lesson on how to do foreplay and how to take a person beyond ecstasy even before genitals are involved.

    That night was all about her pleasing me.

    She say anything. She instructed me. She didn't say that was what she wanted, but I got the message.

    And from then on, I reciprocated in the same manner. Her entire body was erogenous. The one thing was, she wasn't all that interested in cunnilingus. Once she reached a certain point, and it could be early on, she just wanted to be fucked. She was hypersexual and orgasmic and loved cock.

    We would often fuck for hours without a pause. When I came, I would just slow down until the sensitivity in my tip subsided enough to pick up the pace again. And because of her looks, sounds, movements, enthusiasm and encouragement, I could sometimes cum 5 or 6 times without pausing to recharge. I just recharged while fucking her. And she orgasmed repeatedly.

    So I'm wondering, is that the kind of thing you wish guys would do?

  • "Some sucked but learned over time."
    Is this not a hint at the solution? Just get a guy who learns over time and keep him. Why do you need so many different partners?

    • Because they sucked at other things that didn't learn, like cheating and being asses. It's not all about sex, it's just hard finding one who is both a good partner and a good lover.

  • "I am yet to meet a man who likes foreplay." So you are meeting the wrong kind of guys!

    "For men, it is all about blowing the load. And as fast as possible!" Actually, for boys, it is all about blowing the load. And as fast as possible! Many men understand the sexual needs of women, they want to be good sexual partners, and they don't rush to ejaculate while ignoring you.

    "It is like they are programmed to do this, like they MUST blow it no matter if world is ending, like no control!" All men DO feel a sexual imperative when they get aroused but that doesn't mean that we all act like jerks!

    So. . . you can blame guys for everything that has happened to you, and if it is all our fault, that means you are "off the hook" but it also mean that you can't do anything about it. And it means you haven't done anything wrong and can feel like a victim. . . which probably explains the level of anger in your rant.

    Bu if you acknowledge some responsibility for what has happened, then maybe you could change something about your behavior and have different sexual experiences in the future. . . if that is what you would prefer.

  • If you have had 16 partners and they all sucked at sex then you have my sympathies. I have certainly had some really bad ones, plenty of "wham bam thank you mam", but to not have a single one who wants to give you a bit of attention down there before sticking his dick in you is seriously unfortunate.

    There are men out there who really enjoy giving a woman oral, I know I married one, so don't give up, but maybe you are going for the wrong type? I don't know what type is yours though so I can't really help with that.

  • Where did you find these boys? Also it takes two. What are YOU doing to make it to a loving sexy relationship.
    16 in your 30s?…do you know who they are?
    if you have no idea who they are…they are only using you as a sex object.
    a loving/romantic relationship takes time to learn about each other’s like/dislikes.
    If you have been doing all these and not working…time for change. And stop blaming men only.

  • Women sex communication = poor = Guy who thinks he great at sex

  • That is why you don't sleep with losers.. lol
    I only been with virgins so yes, sex isn't too good at first but that is what communication is for... so you both can please each other in bed. If you can't even talk to a guy about bad sex do you really think you should be spreading your legs for him in the first place?

  • I don't agree but then I'm quite easy to make cum. I'm 36 and have had around 50 sexual partners. I'd say over 30 were good. A few were AMAZING and a few were terrible.

  • The answer is sex is only good when you love the person. But men don't love anyone. I want to say they love themselves but I don't think they even love themselves tbh.

  • This might sound a little cliché, but you need to take some responsibility for your own orgasms. For men, it is very easy and straightforward to reach the big O, and for women it can much more complicated as you no doubt know. You need to make sure that you communicate what you like and how you like it. And make damn sure that he delivers on his end before you give him his "reward." If that means he needs to spend hours on things like foreplay, kissing, massaging, eating you out, etc then so be it.

  • All this is soo true. Men just never know what they are doing. I've been with my partner for 10 years and he maybe understand like 5% of my body.(which is probably a lot like most men probaby know 0-1% about a woman's body) It's like I'm constantly having to teach him how to touch me. It's extremely frustrating.

    And it's not even like he's being selfish or I'm not communicating cuz I am. Just a learning issue. If I had to deal with the selfish thing I wouldn't even be interested in having sex anymore cuz that sounds terrible

    • You do realize that the majority of women cannot orgasm through sex

    • @DarkLegacy depends on the woman. I can orgasm through sex no problem. The issue isn't orgasms, that's not what makes sex good

  • Because most of us never *have* sex, at least, heterosexual sex... lol

  • "Sex... to save the friendship."

    https://www.youtube.com/embed/mHutgOgBUVU
  • I think this is a lumping statement to say that all guys are bad at sex, perhaps just the one's the asker's been with?

    That being said, I think there is a misconception that every woman is the same, that all their parts behave the same and the same things apply... not even close.

    Guys are typically not complicated when it comes to sex, we pretty much get off doing anything as long as it feels good. I think for the most part guys want her to get-off too as that's part of the overall enjoyment.

    Since girls tend to be a little more complicated in what gets their motor running and revs her engine, I think they have to take some of the responsibility if the sex is not good. Especially, if they do not say anything to the guy or fake their orgasms which does not help his learning process.

    Considering, a lot of women tend to bite their tongue about how they like things done and expect the guy to just know, I don't think it is fair to say all guys are bad at sex. Sex is a 50/50 relationship it should never be up to the guy to get her off entirely, especially if it's their first time, as she's a blank slate.

    I equate a woman's body to a finally tuned recipe, you can give the same recipe to 5 others and it will turn out different every time. So if she wants the guy to perform well and for her to enjoy it, she has to let him know her secret recipe. If she doesn't, she can hardly peg him as not good in bed.

    Communication is key and if she offers advice the guy should never let it hurt his ego, she just likes what she likes. That being said, she has to find a diplomatic way of telling him what she likes so it doesn't sound insulting.

  • I think you indirectly answered your own question. It’s okay to be inexperienced and thus not very good at something, especially something as intimate as sex, women aren’t naturally good at sex either. But even in the gentlest, most soothing tone and choice of words possible - telling a guy he might want to work on a thing or two - runs the risk of running into a brick wall of (potentially violent if not deadly) male fragility. If you can’t emotionally accept that you’re not quite the sex god you thought, you’re never going to improve. And I think a lot women just stay quiet, because they don’t want to stir the hornet’s nest, and risk losing their man or worse.

  • I like foreplay. In fact, I think the fact that I enjoy it is usually what makes it so successful in terms of her reactions.

    But if you're choosing men who don't like foreplay, is it possible that there's a reason why you're choosing these selfish sorts of men? And then you blame and generalise all men...

    by the way I also practice tantra, so I am less interested in ejaculation. And it usually gives me more sexual energy in general.

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