Why are men so obviously bad at sex?

[Anonymous]

I apologize in advance for generalizing, and I am sure not all men are like this, so please just accept this as a rant, I need to vent!

I am 34 and I had many partners (around 16) and all of them sucked. Some sucked from the beginning never bothered learning, some sucked but learned over time, and some weren't even aware of how much they sucked thinking they rocked my world!

Alright, we know that my generation of boys didn't have enough eduction on sex and most didn't have good father figures, but it is 2023 I am not buying into these excuses anymore. You can learn anything on the internet!

There is a vast difference between men and women when it comes to sex, and it seems like men are just complete idiots that fail to remember this. I am talking about BASIC things! I am yet to meet a man who likes forplay. They don't like it, they do it for women. Actually not even for women, women are completely irrelevant when it comes to anything, they do it to either impress her or smooth out the penetration. For men, it is all about blowing the load. And as fast as possible! Until it charges again and then do it again. It is like they are programmed to do this, like they MUST blow it no matter if world is ending, like no control! They watch porn and masturbate super quickly to it, then go to a woman and masturbate super quickly on her, basically. Male arousal is completely different then female's, most guys think that if a woman is super wet then that means she is to ready orgasm, lol. Well, at least that one was wet, how about 90% others that are fucked dry? I can't even count how many times a man would jus to force his dick into my dry pussy, not realizing why it's not getting in.

If you ask both a man and a woman, what is for them a bad sex, men will say bad sex is when they didn't cum, and women will say bad sex is when it hurts (and almost every incourse hurts in some positions). I came to just one realization why are women so unsatisfied sexually: they settle for selfish jerks! Yes this world is full of selfish male lovers who simply do not care. I refuse to believe that men are biologically so freaking bad at sex, it must be the selfishness. Women are silent about it because they don't know any better, and it is so sad. So, so sad. So if one woman would reject a guy for his lack of sexual skills or willigness to learn, there's another one just around the corner ready to take it in dry for 2 minutes.

Another problem is their insanly huge, unrealistic egos. That thing is scarier then anything! If you tell a man that something is not working for you sexually, be prepared for that ego to smack you right back in your face - by getting ghosted.

Looking at my experience and of my female friends, we all agree that around 90% of our sexual partners sucked big time. And if you google about it, it makes your stomach turn on how wide this issue is in general.

You know what? I am done. If I was completely honest, I experience WAY MORE please when I masturbate. How sad is that! I have stronger emotional connection with my dildo then with any grown ass man. So what's the point in sex? I mean, I am amazed how little men care about women's pleasure, amazed! How can someone be a good person and not reciprocate the favor of orgasm? I would be having really hard time walking away from someone who is left unsatisfied, I simply cannot do it, the guilt would eat me away! Even if it's a one night stand, I mean it's still a person. So my conclusion is that any man who cums (and then falls asleep or goes home) and woman just stays there without orgasm, is a bad person. A really, really bad person.

I know many girls will comment how this is not true and how your partners give you pleasure, but just think very good about it, and about all your ex partners, you will know what I'm talking about. There number of times a man had "bad" sex is same as the number of times a woman had "good" sex.

I do not want to hear any more excuses. We fucked it up, ladies. It's our fault! Actually, the ones who are not educated enough is us women! We created simps and pussies with the feminism and equality shit. I beg you ladies, do not settle for less! I will never again fake an orgasm or be nice about lousy treatment. I don't care about their ego, their not getting a time of day anymore before making me cum. I'm just done with lame, evil people.

[PizzaDaddyo]

I think you mean “obliviously”, not “obviously”. You’re in your mid 30s and takes 16 sexual partners for you to realize that they apparently “sucked” or were “bad at sex”… 🧐


I am almost 30 had a fraction of the amount of partners you have had (lol guess!) and they all really liked me and never said anything about my bad sex! Im no pro and not even close and will admit it not worried too much on the bs of getting the best at sex especially since I left every girl satisfied or at least they put up a good front and lied to me about everything lol either way, I’m no big deal and neither were they, sadly. I also never have dated since I never full liked them (loved them) as much as I would like a crush with the butterflies or I just wasn’t attracted to them both mentally and physically and plain and simply was ready for sex. Lol all but one was a drunken situation and they all have came to me and super lead they way. I’m also not an asshole and my mom says I’m handsome lol but I think she kinda has to haha she’s my mom.. I also really like good conversations, making people laugh and I think they liked my charisma and how I made them feel definitely more than what meets the eye; my height, bankroll, looks, B. O., lol my penis. And if anything, especially the first couple times, I was very insecure asking for validation type questions afterwards. Got my answers, learned, learned not to do things like asking insecure questions for many reasons but they make me look and feel more insecure. Gained confidence then used it for the next experience, and so on.
I will also agree.. for the guy (take note) is a lot about Busting That nut, you know, that real nut because the first nut is a crazy explosion and best sensation and the second boner let alone 2nd nut is way way way less satisfying it’s like beating a video game, or for you ladies, it’s like reading a book…The second time! It’s alright but, can’t compare to the first explosion…”when he’ll tell you, ‘it was great!’🥸” The 3rd one is more just about reaching to 3 and nothing more. Men are sensitive extremely sensitive about cumming mentally and physically! We do focus on that and it makes us look and seem selfish. I also feel like we also get too caught up in the moment and don’t really take a break and just think of things will only escalate. Watching porn definitely doesn’t help because all you see is the Straight up action and they all end with that climax. Obviously the dudes you’ve been messing around with were inspired from porn.


By understanding this, no, it doesn’t change how men are “designed”. You must TELL HIM your needs so he will be “programmed” for your needs.

I know girls once they cum if they can just keep it cumming and cumming and it’s apparently better and better i must assume. For men, it’s super difficult to control and easy to let it all go. Once again in my experiences, which weren’t many, I just simply took my time and I kind of talked it through and communicated. I also really like making out and stuff and taking my time and every time as I kinda didn’t look at it as foreplay as me just being playful or entertained. They just lead the way or basically told me to take control and I did. One thing I will say, is that girls always always always want the guy to make the first move when the guy never does. I definitely know especially as a guy making the first move is the way to go, even though it’s very daunting. I feel as if most girls given the right situation or opportunity will make you (the guy) make a first move. I was definitely insecure about my lack of experience, but I know they appreciated me as they all said great things, my communication I know helped.. I did make sure that they like “this”, and not “that”. Or how bout “this”


Back to your side of the story… 16 guys and they were all that bad? Apparently you did tell them to get better but at what point do you except the accountability for your actions? You never described the differences in these “16 guys”. What were they all around the same age? At any point after the first seven have you noticed a pattern? considered looking for an older or experienced guy? I do understand that girls definitely get lots of guys coming and goin way way easier than guys do than girls I’ve seen on there. I know girls I work with that have Tinder accounts and they flooded with too many options. It’s crazy too! There’s girls out there in their young 20s with already 20,30+ bodies (blame the media/tinder) maybe because of the same reasons or maybe they’re a little sluttier and they like a variety of sex more. Lol I don't know, can’t speak for these hoes. I’m just saying at some point you need to put a little more blame on yourself and it’s perfectly fine and okay to blame yourself sometimes if you want improvement. you don’t ask the guys! What are you evil? “ Yeah Joe everything last night was awesome but the sex. What is your deal? Did Mom not tell you how to fuck?” it’s safe to say if you fuck up sexually do not ask the partner ask yourself then ask a friend then ask yourself again. From there you got to tell yourself what the next move is if you have no motive for the next move, you’re not going anywhere. I think telling the Internet, “ the 16 guys I’ve had sex with were lame.” doesn’t make you a victim. Not not trying to be an asshole but have you ever asked yourself if the lame one was you? Do you expect to hit the bull’s-eye every time you throw a dart or win at bingo every time you play? A bold statement like that really puts yourself on your own mile high pedestal. Having better than life expectations easily leads to failure, unsatisfaction, sadness, depression. I don’t want you to think that you are lame. Because with 16 different dicks inside you're at least not a pussy and really knows how yours works. That’s not what I am trying to address, but what I am trying to address is that the only one picking partners for you is you. If you want better sex start small, lower your bar of satisfaction. But strive for better! Boom, there you have it! Guys do suck at sex, yes. Am you giving up? No! Will you find it? Yes, someone is out there! I really don’t think you’re that lame at all. Your attitude was definitely quite lame about all this but it’s OK and what you can change is your attitude and generalizing will only hurt your thought process. Once you say “every guy”…, “All women do…” closes the mind absolute and not just hurst but kills many potential opportunities. Isn’t somebody with potential worth fighting for? Someone not in the general is there lol by definition he has to be we just don’t know where he is

[RespectfulGuy]

Thanks and I would say this is a wonderful take.

Sorry to read you're so discontented with almost all your 16 guys who were once special.

And yes, TBH, it took me a while before I realize how different sex is between a guy and a girl.

And you're right. All we need is to poke in and release.

And so often we thought you girls are pleasured when you moan and cum (fake).

Not trying to excuse us as a hopeless gender, we really do not know what pleases you.

An it's made worse if there's no intimate relationship.

No I'm not apologizing because I think you girls bears half the fault.

First, you made it easy for us. The once reserved for marriage only is now free everywhere.

Next you simply feel too awkward to talk. And really, it's OK to tell us you don't like.

Finally, do tell us how to do it so that you like it.

Good take! But also have mercy on us, for we're but men 😁

[myTake Owner]

Hey thanks for not leashing out on me! And yes you are right that it's mostly women's fault and that we need to communicate more. The problem is that most guys don't take it well. My latest ex would cum in under 2 minutes every time and fall asleep. Then I asked him why and he said he is tired. Then next time he came around I asked him if he is tired and he said no. Then we have sex again and same thing happens. Then I get a bit frustrated and ask again why now, then he tells me he is too sensitive. Then I have to fucking drag the words out his mouth as to why he is sensitive and how can we fix this, for him to get annoyed and change the subject quickly. His words were "alright alright I get it, sorry" just to never hear fom him again.

[myTake Owner]

There were many other examples, one of my exes hated fingering me longer then 5 minutes because his hand gets cramps. And it's not like he would switch the hand or use the toys, nope he would just stop in the middle of it with "oh my god will you come already!". Like wow. Then there was one other who would go on top of me and pound me so freaking fast from the get go, and I stopped him and told him to slow down, and he is like "okay sorry" then he slows down for 5 seconds and starts hammering again ultra fast. I think I told him to slow down 5 times, after that I was just done and stop telling, let him cum the way he wants. Another fast one told he simply can't slow down, like it's a matter of fact and I should shut up. So these are all basics, don't even get me started on "experimental" stuff, it's a fairytale for women. The slut shaming is just too common, and I believe it's because men just can't accept that a woman could know better then them, they think if she knows so much and is so detailed and so demanding, must be because she fucked 1000 guys. I knew better about sex then most men even when I was virgin, why is it so hard for a man to accept that he is simply bad? I mean there is nothing wrong in being bad, I am not telling to put him down, I am telling to fix it! They just take it as a huge attack on their amazing selfs.

[myTake Owner]

So, you see why most of us don't even bother communicating anymore. Especially for people over 30, it's like teaching someone about right and wrong, basic things! No one wants to deal with that.

[RespectfulGuy]

LOL! Big big EGO boys have don't they LOL! Maybe maturity has to do with more than age. Perhaps Sex n The City "Am I dating the Same Person Over and Over Again?" is correct. And it's frustrating isn't it? Perhaps you should try someone else. A guy who is different from all you other ex. Maybe then you'll look at us guys differently. Smile. There are still billions of us around 😁

[devilish-cutie]

Well sounds like you want only sexual satisfaction but you need to realize that good sex doesn't come from one night stands and casual relationships. Good sex comes with having a good partner in genreal, someone you connect with, care for and have love for and of course vice versa. If a man is selfish in bed, than he is selfish in other things as well. If you only had one sex with a guy, give him a chance, he may as well just be nervous and under a lot of preassure or just unexperienced (men lie about it all the time cause they are preassure to be sex gods). Point is get to know them well before you have sex, if a man cares for you he will more likely be willing to learn. And trust me guys that are just wham bam thank you mam dont have great sex either and its not much different than jerking off to them, for men sex is also more enjoyable when they care about their partner and connect with them.

[myTake Owner]

"you need to realize that good sex doesn't come from one night stands and casual relationships" see you being brain-washed to think like this is actually the biggest problem. It is so common that it became "normal", lol. No, I don't buy that crap either, ONS and casual is not the problem, the problem are vast majority of men who are ruining it for women.

[devilish-cutie]

Im just telling you that guys that are about ons and casual will be selfish cause they do not care about you

[OfMiceandMen]

I tend to agree with @devilish-cutie, it's been said on here so many times that every women is different, so a guy in a one night stand or casual sex situation, is not going to know/learn all the in's and out's of a girl he met overnight. Really good sex comes from a guy that is truly interested in satisfying the girl and not just himself. Guys can only get really good at sex when they finally know their partner. The girl has to be willing to open up though and can't expect him to figure it out.

[Iwjwamo]

ITS LIKE SOMEONE READ MY FUCKING MIND AND PAIN AND EXPRESSED IT IN ONE POST.

Girl you are NOT alone in this!!!
I fkn alternate between

1- let me excourage him and maybe he will pick up what I love and learn

2- I should just talk to him!!! Why do I suck so bad at expressing my sexual needs if I tell him it will kill his ego and make him feel bad

3- doesn’t this guy fkn feel bad at constantly cumming quickly and never giving me head or anything? Does he not give a shit about me?

4- ugh fuck this I’ll just masturbate

it makes me feel like if I want foreplay my needs are annoying. And just because I’m wet doesn’t mean mentally I’m there. I’m not just tits and a pussy. My neck my tummy my thighs are sensitive explore those! Tease me. Build suspense. Give me head. Sex is not just getting head and blowing a load 😡😡😡😡😡

[DarkLegacy]

You do realize that the majority of women cannot orgasm via sex alone. Scientific fact

[ohsheeT]

I honestly thought that was pretty good and pretty true in a lot of different ways
Guys start out wrong and never learn

Most guys start out in school not to make love have sex or fuck. Most guys want the quick pick up the 2 min fuck and on the 3rd min they are calling there friends.
And saying guess who I just fucked and she was terrible I had to do all work I had to show her blah blah blah blah blah just to get that little notch on their belt but you noticed they don't tell the truth that's the only lasted 2 minutes and in all reality they were the ones that sucked and for some reason they just keep going like that all their life but there are some guys who want to make it all about the girl. Who take there time and once they get past there prcum they can take her there more than once. Every guy is different just like every girl is different it's up to both to communicate what they like and what they don't like I learned what I was 15 and 1/2 16 years old that you have to make it all about the girl you have to be able to read her eyes the color of her cheeks The Way She Moves The Way She Moves everything she does because in that moment she's talking to you telling you everything that she wants and if you don't know how to do that then you're pretty well fucked

You can tell our guys going to be within the first month if he's rushing things if he's fast if he's breathing hard disk he thinks it's his last piece of ass he's ever going to get that means he's going to be selfish and he's going to be done in 2 minutes a guy that goes down on you and has foreplay and is not in a hurry whatsoever that's usually going to be the guy that's going to send you to the Moon

A guy that communicates to you about sex it seems to be a good thing one of the first things I do is I asked what type of sex do you like nowadays I want it rough I like it rough I will shake my head okay start out in slow motion and keep going in slow motion and she might get a little bit pissy in the beginning but I guarantee you 10 minutes into it you could start speeding up and show grab a hold of you like vice grips and tell you no no do not go fast do not go slow please just keep going slow because most have never ever experienced somebody making love to them like I said each girl is different each guy is different and if you want it to be good you have to communicate about it and you have to have a guy that's not going to make it all about himself but he's in bed with you and if he's not doing something that you like you need to communicate that to him too it goes both ways but he should be able to read in your eyes like I said the color of your cheeks the way you touch the Way You Kiss everything about you you know exactly what you want in that given moment and either take you there or does a complete opposite and make you real crazy and then take you there

[BoobSlayer]

I'm not sure what guys you been with, but I jizz on her juggernauts and then lick her nipples after she starts to cry. I've been told I'm the most enthusiastic about boobs and healing inner wounds where other guys bypass their bazookas like they were nothing.

[Billlewis]

Because most of us never *have* sex, at least, heterosexual sex... lol

[OlderAndWiser]

"I am yet to meet a man who likes foreplay." So you are meeting the wrong kind of guys!

"For men, it is all about blowing the load. And as fast as possible!" Actually, for boys, it is all about blowing the load. And as fast as possible! Many men understand the sexual needs of women, they want to be good sexual partners, and they don't rush to ejaculate while ignoring you.

"It is like they are programmed to do this, like they MUST blow it no matter if world is ending, like no control!" All men DO feel a sexual imperative when they get aroused but that doesn't mean that we all act like jerks!

So. . . you can blame guys for everything that has happened to you, and if it is all our fault, that means you are "off the hook" but it also mean that you can't do anything about it. And it means you haven't done anything wrong and can feel like a victim. . . which probably explains the level of anger in your rant.

Bu if you acknowledge some responsibility for what has happened, then maybe you could change something about your behavior and have different sexual experiences in the future. . . if that is what you would prefer.

[Lliam]

This breaks my heart because, in looking back, I was that way for years and didn't realize it.

I had girlfriends from the time I was 16. There was no internet or even VCR then, so I had no idea what I was doing. I didn't even know that girls were wet and juicy until my first time. And I never heard of a clitoris. My girlfriends loved me and seemed to enjoy the sex, and I just assumed that what they wanted was the same thing I wanted.

So again, in looking back, I used them for my own gratification thinking that they were getting the same gratification. I doubt that they were, even though they never said anything.

Of course I improved. I learned what a clit was and went down on them. But my foreplay was lacking.

I was 36 when I started dating one particular woman. She was 30. She was very good at kissing. I think I was, too.

The first time she invited me into the house she was renting, she sat me on her bed and then laid me back. To my amazement, she began undressing me, beginning with my shoes and socks, then my pants and shirt and, finally my boxers. It was an erotic experience.

After looking me over with approval, she went across the room and began undressing. She did it slowly and methodically, not as if she was alone, but not like a strip tease. She seemed a bit shy. As she revealed herself, I realize that she was more beautiful than I had expected. In fact, she was my perfect feminine ideal.

Once she was naked, she came to me and climbed onto the bed. We kissed passionately for a while, but then she started making love to my body in ways that I had never experienced.

She slowly and tenderly licked and breathed into my ear. It made my head spin and sent tingles through my body. She moved to the side of my neck and down to my collar bone. She began working her way around my chest.

I was afraid that she would lick my nipple because mine are sensitive and I thought it would be unpleasant. But she slowly kissed and licked with the tip of her tongue, getting closer and closer. By then I was breathing really hard.

When she did touch my nipple, she was very tender. I was still afraid but, her technique was so skillful that I trusted her. I stuck a knuckle in my mouth and bit down to keep from twisting away when she did start licking my nipple.

The sensation was intense, but I realized that it didn't hurt, she was causing no harm, and it actually felt more amazing than anything I had ever experienced.

She was just as skillful when she worked her way down my stomach.

I'll spare you what she did after that, except to say that it even included my inner thighs.

Anyway, it was like a lesson on how to do foreplay and how to take a person beyond ecstasy even before genitals are involved.

That night was all about her pleasing me.

She say anything. She instructed me. She didn't say that was what she wanted, but I got the message.

And from then on, I reciprocated in the same manner. Her entire body was erogenous. The one thing was, she wasn't all that interested in cunnilingus. Once she reached a certain point, and it could be early on, she just wanted to be fucked. She was hypersexual and orgasmic and loved cock.

We would often fuck for hours without a pause. When I came, I would just slow down until the sensitivity in my tip subsided enough to pick up the pace again. And because of her looks, sounds, movements, enthusiasm and encouragement, I could sometimes cum 5 or 6 times without pausing to recharge. I just recharged while fucking her. And she orgasmed repeatedly.

So I'm wondering, is that the kind of thing you wish guys would do?

[Samantha36]

I don't agree but then I'm quite easy to make cum. I'm 36 and have had around 50 sexual partners. I'd say over 30 were good. A few were AMAZING and a few were terrible.

[MrCommodore]

Women sex communication = poor = Guy who thinks he great at sex

[EricSummer]

"Some sucked but learned over time."
Is this not a hint at the solution? Just get a guy who learns over time and keep him. Why do you need so many different partners?

[myTake Owner]

Because they sucked at other things that didn't learn, like cheating and being asses. It's not all about sex, it's just hard finding one who is both a good partner and a good lover.

[midnightmoon05]

Where did you find these boys? Also it takes two. What are YOU doing to make it to a loving sexy relationship.
16 in your 30s?…do you know who they are?
if you have no idea who they are…they are only using you as a sex object.
a loving/romantic relationship takes time to learn about each other’s like/dislikes.
If you have been doing all these and not working…time for change. And stop blaming men only.

[JustMeL120]

The answer is sex is only good when you love the person. But men don't love anyone. I want to say they love themselves but I don't think they even love themselves tbh.

[Apple1996]

All this is soo true. Men just never know what they are doing. I've been with my partner for 10 years and he maybe understand like 5% of my body.(which is probably a lot like most men probaby know 0-1% about a woman's body) It's like I'm constantly having to teach him how to touch me. It's extremely frustrating.

And it's not even like he's being selfish or I'm not communicating cuz I am. Just a learning issue. If I had to deal with the selfish thing I wouldn't even be interested in having sex anymore cuz that sounds terrible

[DarkLegacy]

You do realize that the majority of women cannot orgasm through sex

[Apple1996]

@DarkLegacy depends on the woman. I can orgasm through sex no problem. The issue isn't orgasms, that's not what makes sex good

[abc3643]

"Sex... to save the friendship."

https://www.youtube.com/embed/mHutgOgBUVU

[AMS700CX4u2]

There is a learning curve and honesty is the best teacher. No real man would pretend that he is a master when he is not. Don't fake a gasm. My penis is not your clit so how about letting me know when a technique is not getting the job done. If you have any constructive criticism make suggestions, lube up and try again. Practice makes perfect. No man would turn down another round until he got it right. A man's climax is short live and does not compare to the joy he feels when he feels to tighten up and sees your body flush with color, and sees you eyes dilate. It is not a competition is should be teamwork.

[DermalPunch]

I don't know what the circumstances were when you slept with all these people but sex is really hard to be bad at.

Some women are easier to please and are more orgasmic.

It is also a two-way street.

If a man is "bad" at sex, it's usually because he isn't really all that excited about the sex. Just wants to feel a release.

Perhaps there is lack of connection and sex is happening to soon?

99.9% of men are VERY eager to please if you just tell them what you want. Especially with a partner who is showing enthusiasm and is present in the moment.

[Bricealan]

From my POV, I think you are right... and with good reason... My best sex was with a girl I had know since both of our late teens, and into our 20's... and we both had several partners in between and during our experimenting.. With her, I learned to eat pussy and she learned her way around a penis... Sorry to say that did not transfer to my other sex partners... and I confess, men are so focused on their penis and dumping their load 'somewhere' they forget everything else.

Honest to god, I don't know what a good answer is for the problem you laid out here, and it is a problem,,, and I recognize it as such. I have had about 20 partners,,,,,,,, not all penetrative sex... but I included, eating them, or rubbing them off and them jacking me off... but the problem is a lack of true desire to make sure your partner is satisfied with the sex and the relationship over all... Wish I had a better answer.

[strateguy632]

huuh? ask which foreplay he likes and say you want forplay.

[RavVid]

Hmmh. It is quite a long rant isn't it. I can't possibly address all of it in a shorter length.

The first difficulty with good sex is that you cannot sense what the partner is sensing. Their nerve endings aren't plugged to our brain as ours are. You can intuit if something is pleasurable but you can never feel what they are feeling. So it is very dependent on communication most of it non word based (moans, sounds of pleasure, body movements). Without those you would have little idea of your partners experience is.

The second problem is also that guys and gals have different bodies that react differently and again we can never know. If I am suddenly aroused then I do want to do it and do it now. It is better for me to get inside the girl seconds after my cock has engorged and to ejaculate at the peak of my passion when all of the excitements come together. Pretty obviously girls bodies don't usually work like that and for the most part longer is better. That has been communicated well but I suspect there is a lot that hasn't.

A third problem is what is female arousal? Sexologists have found this confusing. Male self reports of arousal correspond well with measurement of blood flow into the penis. Female self reports of arousal have not correlated with measurement of blood flow into the vagina. A female sexologist was puzzled by results that indicated women got aroused, judging by vaginal blood flow, from watching Bonobo monkeys copulate.

A point in passing is that if sexologists can't reliably identify female arousal than perhaps it is not entirely surprising a large portion of men likewise have difficulty.

I certainly have heard women say 'I was so wet' as an indicator of how aroused they were. Certainly it is the most apparent indicator to men. Recently a sexologist developed a device to measure clitorial engorgement and clitorial engorgement correlated with female self reports of arousal.

Surprise! Hard clit = Hard cock = Sexually aroused. The lol at the end of 'super wet...' is justified. Certainly my male friends and i have been inclined to think that girls with bigger clits are more orgasmic. And it is a bit sad that clits can be difficult to observe.

Even sadder that wetness isn't a reliable indicator of female arousal but more a female response to imminent penile penetration which makes sense to avoid injury.

Really I think after action reviews is about the only way to address this. "It felt really good when you xxx" and "That really got me aroused". Sex in a basic way is pretty straight forward but I think unless we have these afterwards wrap ups it limits learning.

Example It hasn't been unusual for a girl to put her hands on my butt and seem to press/pull me forward. Does that mean she wants me to thrust harder or push against her. How important is this to her sensory experience? I can't know if she doesn't tell me.

Girls seem to be reluctant to have these discussions.

[glennos89]

Easy to explain in 1 word... Selfishness!! Those men who are unfortunately the ones woman are attracted to a lot of the times aren't giving shit about you and are just making themselves feel good letting you hanging there still being horny while they are fulfilled.

Im a guy that is different and although I'm not claiming that I'm very good at sex... I do know I can make a woman have their orgasm.

The reason for it is simple...

If I wanted I could be selfish aswell because being a men means I cum much faster then a woman ever can. It takes actually some real effort in order to prevent that from happening because when I cum... i can't cum again for at least 10-15 minutes and even after those 15inutes times, its going to be very difficult for me to cum again. Woman can get orgasms time after time again but men can't!

That is something most woman also dont seem to understand. It isn't easy to make your woman get their orgasm before getting one themselves it actually takes a lot of effort in achieving that.

But I feel very disappointed when I got my orgasm and she didn't. For me that would totally ruin the experience because the way I see it is that sex is something you do together! I would feel much better when she got her orgasm and I didn't then the other way arround. Thats just because of the fact that I'm not selfish when we talk about at having sex. I care about her feelings more then about mine as I only feel good about it when we both had pleasure during the sex.

Lots of men can have sex and feeling happy while leaving their girl hanging out here horny and wet. It has al to do with selfishness

[SawerBrown]

I totally agree with you that a lot of men are misinformed and can be very selfish lovers. I happen to love foreplay and making out I always include giving oral in foreplay and see to it that she has at least 2 or 3 orgasms before vaginal penetration even occurs. Some men attack the clit if they can find it way to early before it's even engorged and aroused and for some women this can actually hurt and the inner labia is directly connected to the clit hood and by using his lips a guy can gently pull on the inner labia and make the clit hood slide back and forth on the clit or lick the clit hood to cause some motion of the hood on the clit. It's far more enjoyable for a woman to feel penetration and their vagina being filled with a hard cock when highly aroused and their clits already buzzing from orgasm. I enjoy doing all this because it not only pleasures her but it turns me on too. Nothing I love to hear more then her moans of pleasure whether they're soft or loud moans.

[FunkyMonkee]

Obviously, because women REFUSE to tell us what they want!! You've got more buttons and levers to push and diddle with than we do and we are NEVER given a road map or an instruction manual to learn HOW those doodads work!!
To make it harder, it's NOT a one-size-fits-all deal!! Each woman has different likes, needs and pleasures!!