Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Why Are Women Only Sexual with Guys Who Aren't Long-Term Material?

Are women dirty with all men or do they do things with some sexual partners they wouldn't with others - e.g. anyone who has good traits like being a long term friend or boyfriend material?

If a girl did particular sex acts in the past with others, enjoyed those things just fine, but with you she wants a different kind of relationship? Those past relationships were fun, sexual, kinky, non-serious, and she wanted to get that out of her system, but now with someone who is kinder, sweeter and a great confident good guy, why not you?

Why Are Women Only Sexual with Guys Who Aren't Long-Term Material?

She gave her full sexuality to someone less good and is giving a mere portion of that to you?

UNDER THE GUISE OF COMPLIMENTING YOU?

How is acting more innocent versus more suggestive a compliment? It makes little sense that you would open up sexually to a guy who isn't a greater guy?

So you, a better, more loving partner that she cares about more and is more serious about experiences less of her sexuality?

WHY DO WOMEN COMPARTMENTALIZE GUYS?

It boggles us, yet seems to make perfect sense to some women. Every man is a different kind of relationship for a woman, and it seems natural to her to want one kind of relationship with one guy, and a completely different kind of relationship with you???

Why would she not want to be her dirty self with you and enjoy such sex acts as getting a facial, doing it doggy style, having her hair pulled, maybe being tied up and being called a "slut"?

Some might say those sex acts she enjoyed previously or experimented with wouldn’t be enjoyable with you, because she’s having an entirely different relationship experience with you.

We’re smart enough to know that this signifies a lack of respect. But women don’t get that. In a woman’s mind, having a completely different sex life with a brash guy from the past, versus her attractive gentleman is normal?

Why Are Women Only Sexual with Guys Who Aren't Long-Term Material?

Isn't it just crazy?

Answer this, and the lightbulb will switch on in your mind:

If you really want a good charming guy, then why do you not give yourself sexually and stop acting innocent with really great guys?

1. Would a great guy be able to do dirty things with her on day 1?


2. Would her charming guy friend be able to hit on her when she become single (having met her when she had a bf)?


3. Would that guy be able to be kinky with her?


4. Would a brash guy be able to get away with more in bed - e.g. whilst giving him head, can he call her a "dirty slut" and it's fine, whereas the other guy can't?


5. How can you justify the paradox of "he doesn't show interest" when he's being good and he's being too sexual if he states he finds you attractive? Yet a brash guy who isn't long term friend or boyfriend material can do anything they want? Then at the end you expect a good guy who has been essentially punished to not want to experiment or have sex with others???

JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE IS BOYFRIEND MATERIAL DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO boyfriend THEM

Why Are Women Only Sexual with Guys Who Aren't Long-Term Material?

You meet countless people in life. But given all the mind games women play on decent men, essentially you have a situation where great sex is not had amongst great men and women. You seem to think "men will lose respect for you if you act less innocent". That's total BS. A good friend would still be your friend after you sleep together. The great guy you sleep with after a first date will feel relaxed that you are a sexual woman and not someone who plays games.

Why then do you open up so quickly to a brash guy who isn't kind, doesn't text sweet stuff and isn't someone who you could know for a long time?

You can have a far better sexual experience with a great guy friend than a brash friend or stranger

Why Are Women Only Sexual with Guys Who Aren't Long-Term Material?

Often decent men are far far better in bed than some brash guy who has to peacock himself out of insecurity in a compensating manner

IS SEX REALLY THAT CHEAP TO YOU?

It seems perverse you'd think that brash guys would be better in bed when a connecting experience with someone who is hot and decent would be a truly sensual dirty experience.

*** [You may be referred to the 3 star if you post a silly comment!] On top of that, please don't give the alpha guy excuse. Often the true alphas are good men. Not someone who posts a picture of himself surrounded by many women and posts spiel about how you need to be "confident" and "have game". Oh what knowledge! As if everyone on earth doesn't already know that! Most of the people who post that are nothing more than jerks who have no success with women or many friends for that matter. Don't let them get to you guys or girls.

Is it true though that some women simply subconsciously get turned on by guys who don't give a damn about them in the bedroom? Cos a decent guy would go to town to make it about her and thereby increase both of their pleasure. Often brash guys simply go in to the bedroom in what is assisted jerking off, where the female is there purely for his pleasure.

So do women get turned on sucking off a (fake) alpha's D? Can the brash guy get away with saying more degrading things?

Why do a lot of women label people (especially guys) into categories?

Frankly, if you're a friend, anything is possible when the following criteria are met. You are single. I am single. That's it.

So.......

1. If I met you when you had a boyfriend. Then you're single. I would consider you dateable if you are attractive and a really nice girl. But what would you think of me if we met like that in a context where we keep in touch in a social circle?

2. If you met me when I was taken and then I become single, likewise, at that point, anything can happen.

3. If you are taken, I am taken or both of us are, then obviously then you're not an option. (No cheating)

4. I do not label people as "just friends" that can never be anything more.

5. I don't label people as "hook up material" or "girlfriend material".

Personally the best kinky sex and the best sex would be with a really great girl who is nice. So a "girlfriend material" girl to me, having sex within 1 minute doesn't make her any less of a nice girl. It makes her much more of one for being refreshing and not playing games!

Why Are Women Only Sexual with Guys Who Aren't Long-Term Material?

I can't see why girls play games with great guys. Especially texting. Ever heard of the girl who text you how you are, you respond, and then silence?

Or your female friend "read" your message on a chat app and didn't reply or replied way later with some BS excuse of being busy (despite her last seen being later than when she read it)? But that's a whole another question!

Why Are Women Only Sexual with Guys Who Aren't Long-Term Material?
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Umm, there are guys that say they only did anal because their gfs wanted it so badly and they basically hated it themselves... they did what she wanted, but if a future girlfriend came along would she be entitled to anything? Of course not! And she may even hate anal herself. People are different.

    I really feel like people this bothers just haven't had the same experiences themselves.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I honestly believes this only applies to a certain kind of woman. Those who are a little smarter, have a little more depth, a little more respect for themselves, etc, do value sex with GOOD men. The fact that he is indeed a good guy makes the sex even better for them.

    However, it's also a maturity thing. Girls have to grow up and become women eventually, right? ;)

    • Yes I concur. I think the smarter, actual nice ones don't do this. Although it makes you nervous when they act mainly innocent round you and sweeter (maybe mirroring your sweetness to them) and pose like models with the brasher elements of your social circle. But then are they really signalling they like you through acting very "girly"? Don't know, he who understands women, will rule the universe

    • "Girls have to grow up and become women eventually right?" - One can only hope bro

    • Seems like NOBODY wants to mature these days, anyway. :P

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • People change over time.
    It really sucks that it seems as the guys before got Christmas... and now all you get is a stocking filled with coal.
    Prior relationships before a woman settles down is all learning experiences.
    So there really is no surprise when she might say, "I tried this before but I'm not into it anymore".
    Some men are able to deal with that while others resent her for it.
    If men look at women like this with bad intentions, like they are doing this to hurt the guy they are with then they'll never have a successful relationship with her.
    The more you see what a relationship can bring you... the less her prior relationships will matter. It comes with maturity.

    • It's not about that It's about she gave her best to an asshole She can't be pure and just fall in love unconditionally like she could before Now she -even if not on purpose- will play emotional games While I was so picky to keep my partners the least I could so I can still pure unconditional lover

    • Maturity has nothing to do with it. A sense of self worth would make any man deny a women like this.

    • True story and is just like this scenario. I met this girl who really liked me (fuckin rare but it happened). Anyway she told me how she used to do threesomes and shit. We joked around about going to sex clubs and things. She was probably the first person to truly make me want to go polyamorous. Anyway, I had to leave the country and nothing physical happened between us (pity). We are still friends. But she went super Christian. A year ago we were talking about love and stuff and she said she can't believe she did those things back in the day and won't even have sex until she remarries. instant turn off. I really couldn't believe it and thought it was a waste. Anyway that's when I realised I would never settle for that shit ever, EVER. @dudeman is on the money with this. No man would settle for fucking coal.

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  • I've only ever gotten into really nice kinky rough sex in long term relationships, never in a hookup.
    Also being called a slut during sex is never acceptable in my books.

    • what is that long thick thing you are putting in your mouth?

    • Ok you seem to be someone decent then who doesn't play games! Tell me your thoughts on the "So" section and the guy who met her when taken, withheld his feelings out of respect and now is in her relative social circle years later she has become single?

    • Can u help me in a new take? One guy calls her a slut? www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a30669-do-women-have-dirtier-sex-with-guys-who-don-t-care-about-them-what

  • Honestly I couldn't give a damn about the whole "bad ass" type. You don't have to be perfect, just don't be an asshole.

    I found out recently, one of my good guy friends kinda had a thing for me. Nothing serious, but he thought I was hot, and to be honest I was attracted to him too. He kept giving the offer of "friend's with benefits." But months passed and I kept rejecting him, because I didn't want things to be weird after and ruin our friendship. But after thinking about it.. I decided what hell, I was curious too, and we've known since we were kids, we could be mature about it.

    SO, I let him out of the friend zone. And let me tell you, your assumption of your loyal guy friend being a "good guy" is basically 50-50 chance. That may even be pushing it..

    In the beginning I didn't realize what the hell I was actually getting into..
    Somehow I was lured into this game where he was the only one pleased. Now that's not cool. He played it off as "women are more difficult, it takes longer" .. "you're already wet so just do me"

    What a fool.. how does turning a girl become a chore? The more I'm into it, the better it will be... isn't that common sense.

    And what the hell is up with when a girl actually DOES text you and let you know she's in the mood, you leave her hanging?

    Damn, this is why I prefer long term relationships and not hook-ups, even with "friends." Too many clowns out there I don't have time for. And to me, it's not real if it's not with a partner. You're treated differently as a girl.

    SO.. you ask why do women play games?
    Because they don't want to PLAYED first.

    And honestly, we wouldn't have to if the guys our age weren't 5-10 years behind us maturity wise. Everyone plays the game until they find a worthy opponent.

    • Another good answer for you ^^^

    • Well you kind of knew that you were getting into sex only being just freinds with benefits. If you tried dating him a bit before. You probably would have noticed that he was so selfish. Although that is what being freinds with benefits is. Just two people that just want sex from each other.

    • @Dim_121 lol never thought of it like that in a way friends with benefits is completely selfish but its just curious to care about the other person Getting theirs?

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  • This fuckin guy again... lol

    How many times are you going to ask these stupid questions? So far I've counted at least 3. If you haven't gotten the answer (s) you want yet, you're not gonna...

    • @diegoD Yup. Totally me! I think I'm sexy AF so all you haters can kiss my hairy ass!

    • She just merged her face with what appears to be whoever plays Mr. Bean. Her ass may or may not be hairy, I don't know, but I wouldn't recommend kissing it either way.

    • @Zinkr7 that would be Rowan Atkinson. Awesome comedian.

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  • Some women claim it's about him respecting her. Honestly, I am just the opposite. I am not going to do kinky, dirty stuff with a man who I am not committed too. I need to trust someone completely to want to do certain sexual things.

    • You sensual scribe are a good girl and deserve good things. I don't get women who are like this. I mean some NICE girls will: 1. Pose like models with a brash guy friend and act innocent around the charming witty guy friend who shows care and texts them sweet stuff. 2. Read (and mark as read) texts from a great guy friend and take a long time to reply (where he can see she was last online recently even after many hours), yet reply quickly to a bad guy friend. 3. Make a confident good guy feel like he doesn't have her interest as she acts innocent yet acts less innocent around less good men? What do you make of the 5 points in the "Soo" section especially point 1, can the guy get anywhere and HOW?

    • If I was seeing someone when we met and then became single, then yes, I would consider dating you. I look at it this way, I am friends with a man first. Period. I would likely not be friends with a man that I do not consider dateable. If he is a good person, he treats me well and we have a connection, he is considered dateable to me. If he did not have those three qualities he would not even be my friend to begin with. I don't believe in "friend-zoning" people. I mean, obviously if I am taken, then any other man is going to be just a friend at that point, but that doesn't mean he cannot be more in the future if things do not work out between my boyfriend and I. As far as other women go, I don't know how a man would get more. If she has it in your mind that all you will ever be is friends, then it's going to be hard to cross that line.

    • Hi! Ok that's great. I agree on the friend zone nonsense. Right so in this case: Let's say you have a great handsome and flirty, witty and fun guy who makes her laugh and she admires. But he meets her when she has a boyfriend whilst working with her at uni (can't avoid her). They hit it off naturally and he uplifts her. He compliments her qualities, but out respect doesn't say she is hot etc. Keep in touch after graduating by meeting up and texting now and again despite distance. Not besties by the way, but they have a sweet text/closeness about them. Years later she becomes single and is also moving back to his country? WHAT AND HOW CAN IT HAPPEN?

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  • I don't agree with this take, it doesn't apply to me or to the people I know and you make it sound like all women are like this.

    I do the dirtiest things with long term partners. As I've had only one of those, I've only done those things with one partner. However, he was into different stuff than I was, so I haven't been able to try out all of my fantasies yet.

    Now if I do meet someone sexually compatible, Im more likely to do kinky stuff with them before or even without getting serious. I'd rather wait for the perfect guy with that, but realise that specific guy might not exist. So I'll settle with a guy Im mentally compatible with and hope he'll want the same sex stuff as me. If he doesn't, that's what open relationships and casual sex are for.

    • You know what, I'm glad you do and that's a great thing. It's just sadly it seems EVEN nice girls do this for some reason. I'm not saying necessarily have sex with brash people. but they will often pose like models with them and more energetic, versus acting really innocent to a great guy and giving few sexual hints of interest. What do you make of the 5 points in the "So.." section above, what a guy do if he met her when taken at uni, and avoided telling her she was hot, now as part of her social circle (not besties, but knows her as a fringe friend), can he get anywhere with her now she has become single many years later?

    • Ehm dunno, that's a vague question and not seemingly about the same topic as your take

    • Ok how about this then please, I would appreciate your advice: Let's say you have a great handsome and flirty, witty and fun guy who makes her laugh and she admires. But he meets her when she has a boyfriend whilst working with her at uni (can't avoid her). They hit it off naturally and he uplifts her. He compliments her qualities, but out respect doesn't say she is hot etc. Keep in touch after graduating by meeting up and texting now and again despite distance. Not besties by the way, but they have a sweet text/closeness about them. Years later she becomes single and is also moving back to his country? WHAT AND HOW CAN IT HAPPEN?

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  • Well, this is not a bad thing. The only thing I hate is when girls know that the guy is a cheater, but still she'll dream of changing him.

    • What do u think on point 1 in the So section

    • She might friendzone you.

    • What about this: a great handsome and flirty, witty and fun guy who makes her laugh and she admires. But he meets her when she has a boyfriend whilst working with her at uni (can't avoid her). They hit it off naturally and he uplifts her. He compliments her qualities, but out respect doesn't say she is hot etc. Keep in touch after graduating by meeting up and texting now and again despite distance. Not besties by the way, but they have a sweet text/closeness about them. Years later she becomes single and is also moving back to his country? WHAT AND HOW CAN IT HAPPEN?

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  • i don't really think the premise is true. i've been with girls in long term relationships who were very "dirty" or sexually adventurous

    i think it all depends on the girl. some obviously are going to be the same whether the partner is a long term mate or just for fun.

    I think in those cases where women may be less "sexual" with a long term partner is because they don't want the partner to view them as a "slut" (in the derogatory sense) or overly kinky

    • I really hope not. It's just would some women let a brash guy friend call her a slut in the bedroom and act dirty whereas she'd be more innocent with a good guy friend or a guy who has boyfriend material qualities? How do you know if a girl is sweet as to whether you can be dirty or talk dirty with her? It's just why would someone who cares about you (a partner or a good friend) not be turned on by it? Don't get how women think that they must act innocent with that guy and they can give the bad guy all their sexual energy? What about point 1 in the "So" section? How to proceed and can the guy succeed, how is he perceived?

    • Thoughts

    • Anything

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  • I think I know where you are coming from here.

    Why women are sexual with bad boys, jerks, and guys that just want sex is a whole topic itself. My understanding is it is because either that is all the girl wants, or because the guy is projecting sexual energy and they are picking up on it and they feel sexual.

    The reason they don't get so sexual (at least starting out) with the "good guy" is that he is not projecting sexual energy to her.. she doesn't have something to go on. To a degree, the woman feeds off the guys energy... what he is projecting. If he is projecting desire (in his presence, confidence, the way he communicates, body language... energy), she picks up on that... being the emotional being. Its then just a matter of her trust in him, physical contact, and her reservations/value system to get things progressing.

    Ask yourself the question... does someone like Mother Teresa (at a young age) get you turned on and ready for passionate love making? If you went to lunch with her, and she complemented you on your nice tie and shoes and she was nice and proper, would you want her bad? Probably not... no sexual energy... all love, and niceness. Point being, the two need to connect... so that the woman feels safe and trusts him (yes bad boys can do this and players) and there is sexual energy and intent conveyed at least from the guy. Girls can push this too, but they usually respond...

    Girls are plenty sexual with LTR's.

    I can say this... just being nice to a girl, will not stimulate her to sex. It might help her like you, but that's it.

    • This is a very interesting point. Firstly tho, this isn't necessarily about some proverbial nice too shy guy versus some bad boy who is supposedly confident. It's about GREAT guys who are confident, charming, funny, flirty etc, the whole works and brash guys who are more like tools. Certainly no sweet texts, nor the same level of care. These guys will often talk to her more often versus a great guy and have her posing like a model versus more innocently with the good guy. So are you saying she mirrors? Will she respond to a good guy if she is a sweet girl or still act only innocent? HOW THEN do you convey attraction and know if she is and how do two good people have sex?

    • What about this, to avoid talking generics: Let's say you have a great handsome and flirty, witty and fun guy who makes her laugh and she admires. But he meets her when she has a boyfriend whilst working with her at uni (can't avoid her). They hit it off naturally and he uplifts her. He compliments her qualities, but out respect doesn't say she is hot etc. Keep in touch after graduating by meeting up and texting now and again despite distance. Not besties by the way, but they have a sweet text/closeness about them. Years later she becomes single and is also moving back to his country? WHAT AND HOW CAN IT HAPPEN?

    • I feel like you need to watch some videos to learn more about female behavior and that may help. So I'll suggest some below. You're writing is a bit confusing to me, but I think what you are saying is you are a good guy, and funny and make good friend connection and have a girl that is now single and want to escalate it... so you have to get out of the friendzone. It is possible, but you have to take the lead. I don't necessarily like female behavior. There are girls out there that are "classy" and won't have sex until married, based upon their values. There are some that will have sex with a guy that pushes her boundaries (quite a few appear to have been sexually assaulted or started young... not good), there are girls at all levels. They are people, all have their challenges and needs and desires. They are different than men. Watch these...

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  • Okay but consider this: girls have different preferences. Girls change. Girls are entitled to have sex however they want with whoever they want (within obvious constraints) and are not obligated to have sex the same way with a different person if they don't want to. I don't care whether it's a crap guy or a 'great' guy as you put it, neither of them are entitled to anything the girl doesn't want to give even based on her past.

    • No one said they were entitled. But do you not think it makes zero sense? So you have a great guy (might be your friend/social circle) who is attractive and good to you. Another guy who is brash (might be your friend/social circle too) and nowhere near as sweet or kind. The first guys texts you sweetly the other guy just brashly. So the logic is to sleep with the second and not the first? And importantly, why would you be really dirty with someone you don't care about, yet the person you are meant to care about and respect, you give less to them?

    • You're still sounding whiny and entitled. Some girls want sex with no strings attached, especially when they're exploring new parts of their sexuality. You can get pissy about it all you want, but that is sometimes the case. And some girls like someone who's a bit more assertive, since your 'great guy' seems a bit easy to mow over tbh. The girls that do can't just change their preferences because you're getting salty about not getting laid the same way as another dude. I know most girls would probably go for the 'great' guy though, so maybe you're just picking the wrong girls. Regardless, the question made it sound like you're talking about girls not having sex with you the same way they did with someone else in the past. And as upset as you might get about it, girls can be attracted to guys, even physically, in different ways. Maybe that's the case. Maybe she didn't like what she tried. Maybe she does but only with him. Either way, she picks who and how she fucks.

    • Who said I was entitled lol? How is the great guy easy to mow over by being a kind person lol? That's crazy logic. He's still a confident person who is successful in his life.

      The point is fine if you have sex with anyone. But surely someone you like or care about, you'd do your best to impress them and be dirtier than with someone who means nothing in what you just called "no strings attached". Why would you give your all to please the latter?

      If a guy did that, I'd say it's equally messed up.

      There's an interesting take here, please check it out: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a30669-do-women-have-dirtier-sex-with-guys-who-don-t-care-about-them-what

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  • Oh man I feel sorry for you dude. Your mindset is cancerous, drop it! Woman ain't that evil. They are just human that make mistake like we all do.

    • Cite the take and explain then how a good guy is meant to succeed especially in point 1 of the So section

    • No one said they were. Women are great and women love sex. It's just the equivalent of players in the female species (attention seekers) are peer pressuring the sweet girls to do this

  • If women where all extra kinky with random hookups and had more memorable sex with them we would have more vaginal orgams. Women are more kinky with a partner than a hookup.

    • Is it true though and can the partner or a great guy friend act dirty or do only brash friends and strangers get their cum on your face and be allowed to call you a slut? And your thoughts on the So section

  • I don't believe in casual sex so your point is mote. lol.

    • Comment on the So section then

  • We're taught guys don't want sluts, and that giving ourselves away will make guys lose interest. So if we care about losing you, we may be more closed off.

    • I partly get where you're coming from. In the same way a decent guy will follow the mantra he was taught that women like gentle souls who are good to them. But it seems odd you'd act angelic and "non sexual" around a great guy giving him no signals you like him, whereas you're posing like a model with a brash guy who you don't care about and he doesn't care about you. Read the "So..." section above and please provide your thoughts on the 5 points

    • 1. I would have no problem being involved with you after we broke up. 2. Agreed. 3. Yep. 4. That's a good way to see it 5. Good, I hate that shit I am just saying that a girl may give herself a way easier to a shitty guy, not caring what he thinks. However, most girls should still not be holding you off so much. Maybe just be straight and ask her about it. How long have you seen this person? Any girl would love to be with a sweet guy, sexual or otherwise. As long as he's sexual enough with her that she feels a chemistry there

    • Excellent points. Ok 1. So you mean I would be an option? Omg YESSSS! But how would I know or make a move or let you know as well as the personal compliments I gave always, that I find you hot? I have known her a while, but she's only been single for a year and now moving back to my country? But how do I proceed or indicate sexual chemistry on top of the sweet chemistry we have? She seems so innocent, I think she is unbelievably cute?

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  • So you're basically bitching because girls won't sleep with you? Cause you're not attractive, obvs. There's no psychology behind it.

    • @vnmchasabigbulla ha. I'm not ugly, nice try though 😘 And maybe it's cause women don't act like their entitled to sex.

    • Noah what a rude comment. How precisely is anyone bitching here and who do you think you are to make abusive statements based on assuming what someone looks like? If you actually read the take it is about decent guys who make women laugh, who are kind, charming, attractive etc. Any long term traits one might look for in a mate. But as described above (if you read it which I get the impression that you didn't), these good guys seem to be punished. Read the So section and comment.

    • It's such tripe though. Women are most sexual with someone they're in a long term relationship with. You clearly don't know very much about women. And it's the same as the person who was abusive to me above but had their comment deleted. This whole 'good guy' 'nice guy' nonsense needs to stop, you're nice to get something but that doesn't make you nice. Wth is the So section?

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  • I don't usually agree with this kind of Takes, but with this one I have to agree, basically because girls have said that themselves. They like to go crazy with a hook up, but when it comes to a relationship, they don't even do 30% of what they did with the hook up.
    To me that's unacceptable. The fact that she puts more importance, more trust, and give herself more to a hook up than to a boyfriend, is an absolute turn off.

    How can you give more to someone you're not gonna see again, someone that doesn't care about you and just wants sex? I just don't get that, and that's why I have trouble trusting the type of girls that screw around.

    • ABSOLUTELY PHENOMENAL POINT @AleDeEurope 1. I really don't get why they'd go crazy and be totally dirty for a hook up or even a brash guy friend. Both of them don't really show genuine care just have a facade of some good traits and that's it. It seems seriously wrong that they'd let these types call her a "dirty slut" in the bedroom and take cumshots etc and then act totally innocent with someone who cares about her. 2. Agreed, trust should surely be with either a boyfriend, or the great charming guy friend who has always been a good person to her. I don't get why you'd give yourself to some stranger. I would personally want to have the best dirty sex with a really nice sweet girl. Tbh I wouldn't even sleep with some bitchy girl at all. 3. What do you make of point 1 in the "So" section. Basically a great charming guy who the girl admires. But he meets her at uni when working with her (assigned groups) when she has a bf?

    • He always genuinely uplifted her and complimented her personal qualities. They hit it off and she admires him. Out of respect tho, he doesn't tell her she's hot. Kept in touch after uni, not as besties, but met up and texted despite distance. A few years later, she has become single and is moving back to his country. How is he perceived and what can happen and HOW?

    • I'm getting a lot of girl downvotes, but none argues my point... I wish they did cause I'd like to hear what a girl says about this.

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  • I would be over the moon if girls who didn't consider me long-term material behaved sexually around me and were open to short-term romances.

    • I know what u mean. It feels weird that we are punished for being a good person. Already half of the women and many guys have commented the usual rubbish about the guy just being nice and nothing more. That's TOTAL BS. The good guys is nice, attractive, funny, witty, every quality you'd want in someone. As to why you can't sleep with them is beyond me. Personally I'd go for a nice sweet girl, and it doesn't mean we're going down the aisle. We can sleep together and have short term stuff and still be friends. It's crazy how many people seem to have this twisted view of opening up sexually to bad people and doing that with them and not better decent people.

    • Great comment and uprooted! Can I pick your brain on something? Let's say you have a great handsome and flirty, witty and fun guy who makes her laugh and she admires. But he meets her when she has a boyfriend whilst working with her at uni (can't avoid her). They hit it off naturally and he uplifts her. He compliments her qualities, but out respect doesn't say she is hot etc. Keep in touch after graduating by meeting up and texting now and again despite distance. Not besties by the way, but they have a sweet text/closeness about them. Years later she becomes single and is also moving back to his country? WHAT AND HOW CAN IT HAPPEN?

    • What do u reckon

  • Maybe for some, but not for all. I don't have casual sex.

    • Why would anyone do it, it's so evil?

    • As in play games like this by treating brash guys to dirty kinky sex and punishing good guys with either nothing or not giving themselves fully

    • I don't see it as evil. People can chose what they want to do with their life, and I don't let what others do bother me. it's their life, not mine and not my business. You don't know for sure long term couples don't have kinky sex, they might. Not everyone broadcasts their private lives.

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  • I think this question should be asked more constructively. Without being condescending to women. There are some truths in what you say. Maybe ask, how can men and women come across as long term material, and not afraid to get down and dirty in the early stages of their relationship.

    Due to social conditioning, I think the girls are always afraid that the guys they see as long term relationship material might think they are sluts and won't take them seriously after they have shown them their full sexual desires. So the girls would take it easy or slow down this process. From the guys perspective, we think we are penalised for being a good guy compare to a douche bag, who the girls don't see themselves with for long term. So there's nothing to lose.

    It always makes me wonder what if the good guy can create a situation for sex to happen when the sex was the guy's "fault". So she can show her full carnal desires with her potential long term partner with a good excuse to not be called a slut. Like if the nice guy bring alcohol and she willingly get "drunk" and use that excuse to hint him that she has lost her inhibitions, even though she is still sober, and the nice guy just learns to play along with her.

    As you can see why girls are frustrated with nice guys, because they don't know how to make it the guy's fault to initiate sex, which causes the girls to bear the burden of asking for it and feeling like the slut that society looks down on.

    • I like your point! UPVOTED! Ok, but why would a great guy think that? He'd be turned on and relieved she is actually interested in him. A great guy is a confident and nice, charming, witty, funny guy. Someone who sends her sweet texts and shows he cares. He might be even in her social circle. What about this - Let's say you have a great handsome and flirty, witty and fun guy who makes her laugh and she admires. But he meets her when she has a boyfriend whilst working with her at uni (can't avoid her). They hit it off naturally and he uplifts her. He compliments her qualities, but out respect doesn't say she is hot etc. Keep in touch after graduating by meeting up and texting now and again despite distance. Not besties by the way, but they have a sweet text/closeness about them. Years later she becomes single and is also moving back to his country? WHAT AND HOW CAN IT HAPPEN?

    • To answer your first question. Just because you are a confident alpha male, doesn't mean there are no alpha males out there who are at least as good as yourself or better. If the girl gets dirty real fast for him, it makes him wonder if she will do the same for another alpha. Sure you will feel complimented by her enthusiasm, but she might have just blown her chance with you long term. For a guy to think he is the best in the world is just delusional. What every guy/girl hopes is through time, your partner will get hooked by your intrinsic qualities that are unique to you. It takes time to discover. Second question just approach her and find out if you can have chapter 2 with her. Simple.

    • 1. Ok point, but why wouldn't she just act sexual around someone she likes or is a great guy, rather than innocent? 2. Can you please explain HOW? I mean I already know her as I already mentioned?

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  • I used to feel the same way about many of these unfair and often irrational peculiarities about female behavior. However, with age has come greater understanding. I have now learned to recognize that women are not just a number that can be generalized but individuals that vary from person to person. Thus, the sort of women who are going to unfairly sleep only with bad guys while holding out on the genuinely good guys are always going to be like that, so you might as well just avoid them. But there are always going to be women who are not that way, and ideally you would want to pursue them. Why anger yourself over the actions of people who are not relationship worthy to begin with?

    • I agree, it's all individual. It seems silly though all these mind games where innocence is projected a guy they care about or is sweet and a more "slutty"/model like vibe to guys who are brash. Both guys could be in her social circle and she acts differently? Separate question as you seem to know some wise stuff! What do you make of this

    • If she has a great handsome and flirty, witty and fun guy who makes her laugh and she admires. But he meets her when she has a boyfriend whilst working with her at uni (can't avoid her). They hit it off naturally and he uplifts her. He compliments her qualities, but out respect doesn't say she is hot etc. Keep in touch after graduating by meeting up and texting now and again despite distance. Not besties by the way, but they have a sweet text/closeness about them. Years later she becomes single and is also moving back to his country? WHAT AND HOW CAN IT HAPPEN?

    • Erm?

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