Why does a lady get mad if her guy watches porn, but is okay with herself not wanting, having sex or is okay constantly pushing him away?

[Boat4Fun]

[SueShe]

Watching pornography while in a relation is equivalent to emotional cheating if the partner is not aware, does not agree and endorse this deviant practice.

It seems that for a great number of men, sex is the most important factor in a relation and everything seems to revolve around this activity. If a woman is not ready 24/7 to perform, it is a tragedy in the eyes of the guy and a reason to seek elsewhere; in other words, to cheat.

Not wanting to have sex 24/7 is normal and there is nothing wrong with not wanting to be available all day long.

Guys, you should control your levels of testosterone and your libido rather than to be the slaves of them.

[jahaims]

"Guys, you should control you levels of testosterone and your libido rather than to be slaves of them" You assume that is possible based on your experience. We have different levels of sex hormones so you have no idea what we experience. That's like me telling a women who is pmsing or pregnant to control her hormones. Why don't people who suffer from depression due to low levels of hormones just control them? Maybe because that isn't how brain chemistry works.

[jahaims]

I highly recommend you look at Carol Hooven's work.

[SueShe]

@jahaims Controlling your sexual needs is not difficult at all. It is only a question of will. However, those people are not willing to control them. You can keep perfectly in control with simple yoga exercises, meditation and sport.

[jahaims]

Again you have never experienced being a male so you are only guessing. As I said before if you wish to be educated on the subject instead of claiming to know about something you haven't experienced look up Carol Hooven's work.

[SueShe]

@jahaims Thanks for your opinion. I can only see that there is a definite lack of will on the men's side. That's okay, girls are fully aware of that fact. Unfortunately, that is why we will remain the victims of this general unwillingness. Happy New Year!

[Boat4Fun]

24/7... I would be happy with once or twice a week. Not once a month or two.

[RearEntryGuy]

I was reading this thread and I have to agree with @jahaims because I'm a guy and constantly faces such a challenge. Being married before and have sufficient knowledge of female sexuality, I would say, it's a lot easier for girls to avoid porn than guys. Look at it this way: girls tend to feel that guys don't love them enough, even forgetting her birthday or anniversary is a BIG DEAL. Honestly to us, it's not any deal. But we still love the woman we love. See the comparison? How would you feel if we start a men's group and tell women how wrong they are to expect guys to remember birthdays and anniversary and equate them to love? Same mentality here.

[Boat4Fun]

Jahaims, general unwillingness? I'm not following... I know you don't know the full (my) story. I stepped up and was the father her kids didn't have. Her youngest was 13 (girl) The other two (boys) were 15 & 17. I've did and do romance I've never forgot a birthday, anniversary or v-day, but there has been lots of times I been forgotten (received nothing). Not looking for gifts but it would be nice to feel appreciated once in a while. After 19 years it is getting hard to care anymore. Testosterone is one thing & estrogen is another but you have to put thought in to it to have a good sex life. It is the responsibility of both in the relationship.

[InYourHead]

Yea if she's gonna turn down sex she can't get mad if he rubs one out to porn. Guys have need too and sex is one. If she doesn't want to give it up, fine but don't get mad at him for releasing it then

[Anonymous]

If you weren't allowed to eat food from anybody else, but could have sex with whomever you wanted, they'd withhold the food instead. It's a power play. Sex is the one thing you're not allowed to get anywhere else when you're in a relationship, so its their only means of making you do what they want.

If withholding money is financial abuse, withholding conversation is emotional abuse, withholding food is physical abuse, etc... then what is withholding sex/affection?

[Berethor]

Those girls think that they could have it both ways.

[elizamichale1]

It absolutely does not make any sense tbh

[Anonymous]

If she's like that she should let him do whatever he wants, porn, sex with other girls, whatever.

[Boat4Fun]

I don't want sex with other girls just her. She said she had a kinky side. 19 years like I would settle for the first "k" in kinky.