Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
Long story short, because I am tired of feeling like a loser.
I am a 20 year old virginal male. I have never had a girlfriend nor have women ever expressed interest in me whatsoever. The one time a woman did, it ended in disaster, and I was reduced to tears. I have done a lot of soul searching lately, and the conclusion I have come to is that I am never going to be normal. There is no hope for me. No matter what I do, my prospects are never going to improve.
I started going to the gym every single night and working out like a man with a reason, yet even with a better body, women still pay me no attention. I maintain a 4.0 GPA in college so that I can acquire a good career someday with a lot of money, yet women still view me as a nerd. I even have a job with a relatively large chunk of savings in the bank, and that still does nothing for me.
No matter what I do, women are never going to like me and that is just a fact I have come to accept. I am always going to be shy, I am always going to have social anxiety, and I am never going to be able to "fit in" or be a social butterfly. Frankly, if I ever want to have sex - good, enjoyable quality sex - a prostitute is about my only hope. I know deep down that it is wrong. It goes against everything that I have ever believed in being Eastern Orthodox. It goes against the way my mother brought me up. Every fiber of my being tells me that this is wrong, and I know my guardian angel and patron St. Augustine of Hippo must be weeping on my behalf as I type this, but I simply cannot do it anymore.
I am tired of feeling so alienated for being a virgin, like I am so abnormal and misplaced, not fitting in with the world around me.
That is the whole reason why I have decided to do this. It has nothing to do with my own pleasure or desire for sex. Rather, it has to do with how much of a loser I feel like for being a virgin. The pain has gotten so bad to where I literally cannot take it anymore. I am not sure the majority of people realize just how frustrating and alienating this is, to be a virgin in the 21st century. Sex is literally everywhere. No matter where you go, it is inescapable. From television to magazines and even conversations among friends and coworkers, our entire world revolves around Sex. And thus not going along with it is extremely painful, frustrating, and alienating to say in the least.
I am tired of feeling abnormal, like I do not fit in. I am tired of feeling alienated, like there is something wrong with me, like I am a weirdo for not going along with the ways of the world. I have spent hours in prayer to my patron St. Augustine, studying his life for inspiration. I have soaked my bed with tears, reciting the Psalms. I have gone to Confession every Saturday night.
But the pain has not ceased. I have tried opening up to everyone who said that they would be there for me, but in the end they have not been true to their word. My relationship with my father is irreparable because I have never forgiven him for the way he used to treat my mother when I was growing up. I have few if any friends and they all expect for me to be the one giving them advice. Even my priest has grown tired of me and no longer bothers responding to my emails.
Perhaps worst of all, not even my mother whom I adore has been there for me, even though she said that she would.
Almost a year ago today, I completely poured out my heart to my mother, explaining to her everything that has been bothering me and how I have been feeling. I also confessed to self harming, and she promised that she would be there for me. She said that she would get me help, and that she would respond to the best of her effort to my questions. Yet almost a year has passed, and she has done absolutely nothing. In her defense, it has been a busy year. My father lost his job. We underwent a move.
There have been health complications in the family. And I have tried to remain patient, doing my best to "suck it up" and pretend to be functional when I am not. But I am at that point now where I can no longer do it. Yet I am so afraid to tell my mother because I do not want to make her feel rushed or angry, yet I feel so sad that she has not been there for me yet. I feel as if I am a lesser priority, or that she loves me less now. And it is truly killing me inside.
Every night I have to resist the urge to cry whenever I hug my mother before bed. I cannot sleep because I have that nervous feeling at the pit of my stomach. I have become an insomniac. Whenever I look in the mirror I feel ashamed, like I hate myself for being a virgin. I feel like there is something wrong with me, like I am a loser because women do not like me. I see the scars all over my thighs and I grow to hate myself even more. Yet I have to hide it and put on a happy face for work and school. I have to hold back tears whenever anyone shows me kindness. Sometimes I drive over to the local Jack in the Box and just cry in the parking lot. And I lie to my mother, telling her that nothing is wrong and that I am happy even though everything is wrong and I feel like a loser.
I am a male virgin and I do not fit in.
The only reason I have not killed myself yet is because I do not want to abandon my little sister the same way my uncle abandoned my mother back when she was a little girl and he took his own life. Unfortunately I am in this life for the long haul, even though I would much rather be dead. But I have resolved to live because I love my little sister too much. And because I want to make my mom proud.
Therefore,
I have resolved to lose my virginity to a prostitute. The plan is to keep on saving money and travel to Nevada next year after I turn 21 in February. There I will visit a brothel and do it the legal way, so that I am not supporting human trafficking or the abominable criminal enterprise known as illegal prostitution.
Now at this point, I know that a lot of you must be asking why a prostitute and not just a regular promiscuous woman. The answer is quite simple. Apart from the fact that promiscuous women are actually very selective, sleeping only with the top 10% of males - thus making prostitution my only viable option - the fact remains that I am tired of the gynocentric hypocrisy of the modern West.
I am so sick and tired of women and particularly liberal feminists justifying their own promiscuity, one-night stands, and whoredom while simultaneously condemning men like me for resorting to prostitutes, as if it were any different.
I am tired of these sexually "liberated" sluts and "open-minded" Cosmo feminist bitches engaging in every sexual abomination imaginable and promoting a culture of promiscuity that would make even Sodom and Gomorrah blush, only to then turn around and tell me that prostitution is somehow evil.
These women are nothing but total Hypocrites!
The fact remains that it is extremely easy for women to get sex. They do not have to make any effort whatsoever. Even the most unattractive and overweight women can score with an average guy who is above her league. But men are not afforded this same luxury. Sex for us is a challenge. Only the top 10% to 20% of us can actually have sex with whoever we want whenever we want. The rest of us are fighting an uphill battle just to have sex within our own league. The reason why? Because approximately 90% of all the women - certainly the sluts and promiscuous ones - are sleeping only with the top 10% to 20% of the men at the very top of the totem pole.
The vast majority of men including average fellows like myself are Shit Outta Luck. We are not afforded the luxury of being able to have casual sex whenever we want. Prostitutes are the only women who fill this void - frankly, the only women who are not as conceited, selfish, and judgmental as the vast majority of women who would never give us the time of day. And yet, these same women and particularly the "progressive" liberal feminist ones who pride themselves on their promiscuity are the same women who want to keep prostitution outlawed. Why? Because they do not want regular men like me to be able to enjoy the same luxury that every woman enjoys.
They do not believe that regular men like me deserve sex or are entitled to the same easy access to it that every woman enjoys.
The very notion of male pleasure in itself is disgusting to them because liberal feminism is an inherently misandristic and gynocentric ideology that hates men. Prostitutes fill a void for men like me, and therefore liberal feminists are opposed to it because they do not want men like me to be able to have sex. Well screw them and screw liberal feminism along with the abomination known as the Sexual Revolution which only benefited women and the top 10% of men. Screw the matriarchy along with Alfred Kinsey and Margaret Sanger whose graves I spit upon and hold in utter contempt.
I am a man and I deserve sex like everyone else!
For that matter,
Screw my religion, screw my God, and screw everyone who said that they would ever be there for me but was not. Hell, screw my own mother. I desperately tried getting help. I tried opening up and doing everything I can to get advice. All I wanted was advice, a hug, and some sympathy. But no one ever gave it to me. No one was ever there for me. I am tired of bearing the burden of feeling like a loser because I am a virgin. No longer will I deal with the alienation and pain. If people are going to judge me for it and my God is going to send me to Hell for it, then so be it. I did the best I could, but nobody was there for me. It was not my fault but their fault. Again I tried my very best. I did not fail, rather, everyone who was supposed to be there failed me.
So that is my plan, the pain of being a male virgin has grown too great that I can no longer bear it. I am tired of feeling alienated and not fitting in. I am going to have sex next year, but I am not going to have it according to the gynocentric standards of liberal feminists. I refuse to play their inherently broken and misandristic game. I am going to have sex according to my own standards, with a legal prostitute.
I am not sure what is going to happen, and again, this violates everything I have ever believed in and stand for. But I am only doing it because I am tired of feeling like a loser. No longer can I bear the pain of being a male virgin. Maybe I will have some big St. Paul on the Road to Damascus experience that will completely change my outlook on the way to Nevada next year. Maybe God will do something grant to call me back to himself like St. Mary of Egypt above, who was a prostitute. But unless that happens, I have a plan and I am not backing down from it.
Do not feel bad for me. Do not feel saddened that I have fallen this low. Instead, feel angry with yourself. YOU did this to me. YOU drove me this low. It was YOU, everyone who said that they would be there for me, my God, women, my Mother, who abandoned me. I am only dealing with my pain the best I possibly can.
And I feel no shame whatsoever.
What Girls & Guys Said
60 116Just do it. Don't listen to people on here. Hire a prostitute! Fuck it! And hey, while your at it, ask her to give you some real tips with women I'm sure she will be happy to help. All you're gonna get from this site is women telling you your virginity is "sacred." No it's not, you're a man, your virginity is not sacred lol. It's a burden, we all know it is. It can only help in my opinion. A man having sex helps him grow. A woman having sex damages her. Well not really but it might as well damage her. A man having sex is never going to hurt him unelss he gets aids or is stuck with a baby. Women can be damaged by sex by any little old thing.
LOL go ahead ! Lose your virginity ! That will solve everything ! Thing will magically fixed itself the moment you stick your dick in there.
I don't feel bad for you.
Being a virgin dosnet make you a loser naturally. I was a virgin until I was 23 myself. Its not a cure for anything, my life isent any better or simpler than it was back then. Honestly having physical contact makes it worse. You end up craving more. While if you are alone and hardly used to anyone even touching you, you kinda get numb really, which makes it easier. As soon as someone simply touch you really, can take months for those cravings to wear off which makes it hurt all the more instead.
But one of the greatest minds ever seemed like was a virgin. Nikola Tesla. You think he was a loser?, he seemed more like a genius who pushed the world forward really. He too thought women are a distraction which I think is true too in many ways. Cause I sure noticed that myself, the less time I spend on relationship, women etc, the more intelligent I seem to become. When the sexual nature is not there to distract you, your mind grows so intense really instead. Can be able to achieve so many things that way. Cause personally I dont see the connection at all with "loser" + virgin. Not related.
You can change the world, do so many great things while being a virgin that would make you a winner in everybodys eyes. You can however be a jerk, asshole sleep around a lot, cheat etc and be considered a loser by many.
But again, I think in your case. To me it honestly sound like this has become a PTSD. May sound silly, but you show much of the obession traits for it, as well as how you seem to hurt so much. I think one thing too u should keep in mind. If you do end up losing your virginity to a prostitute (Which nothing wrong with that really) but are you gonna end up damaging yourself the same way all over again. "Im such a loser I had to lose my virginity to a prostitute" Cause, be harder to change that one. wouldn't surprise me if your mind turned on you in that way too, which would make ur situation worse, not better.
Dude ! Get laid and be done with it already !
This way, once it's done and you keep having problems, you can stop blaming it on women.
I have suffered through this pain too. 26+ years with no kisses or dates. It's a pain that no non-virgin person will understand after some age. Our society sucks. It puts rules such as everyone must kiss by 15, get laid by 17, and whatever else there is. First of all, no one knows that you are a virgin. No one can see that when they look at you or talk to you. I assume you don't wear a shirt that says "I'm a virgin". I decided to cut women and sex out of life. You can too. Live your life with freedom forever. Everything you earn you get to keep, every you buy is your own, and all your free time is your own. No need to share, no risks to take. Nothing wrong or bad about being a virgin or single. It has improved my mood to some extent. Once I get the job I'm desperate for everything will be great. Give it a try. See how it makes you feel.
I think you should consider letting women know when you meet them that not only are you a virgin, you're also interested in serving her as an oral slave, with no reciprocation necessary. If you start with that, you may have a much better chance of success. Just my opinion.
"It has nothing to do with my own pleasure or desire for sex. Rather, it has to do with how much of a loser I feel like for being a virgin."
That is backwards as fuck. I want to lose my virginity because I want to know what sex is like, that's all. But I'm REALLY FUCKING CURIOUS.
But yeah being surrounded by all these people who have definitely had it is very frustrating. Just increases the curiosity.
Dude, please don't do that. Your virginity is worth more than that :)
It's your choice.. but I would never lose mine to a dirty prostitute
Well of course your a woman.
do what you feel like you need to. It hasn't even been a year sense i lost my virginity, the man who took mine waited until i turned 18 and he was a virgin too until he took me. he lost his virginity at 24 by taking mine.
I think you should do what makes you happy and forget what anyone else might say about it on here, as long as you are happy with your decision fuck what anyone else thinks, you just do you!
If only 10-20% of guys got sex, no guy would ever have a girlfriend. You say you feel very awkward, because unlike most guys you've nvr had a girlfriend...
I agree with other answers. I think if you validate yourself by needing sex or hate yourself for you V card, finally having sex won't solve anything! You'll just feel more bad about the brothel, or you'll hate yourself later since what you obviously really want is a relationship.
But... no matter what you get or do IRL, I think that you should consider working on not defining yourself so much by external stuff. You aren't a loser because of a, b, and c and whether you did them or not. I can relate to feeling this way, but you seem a little extreme with it. I know when I feel this way it's just emotional; I still am who I am!
So... I think you actually seem to handle criticism well, from reading your replies. So, instead of being so serious you could just live your life... maybe get some regular female friends and not focus on a girlfriend so much. Maybe go to a club, and makeout or go further.
And... you blame other people a lot! Even if some of it is true, if you want things in life you have to DIY. No one owes you anything at all, and nvr will. And, this all comes off kind of like you don't want to be responsible for yourself. Other people decide how you act and feel, not you. So you aren't responsible for what happens, ever, because other people decided and so you can always say things weren't fair to you, because all you did was react. You never made an actual decision. Even going to a brothel, you're just doing something in exchange for you paying someone. It's like you like being forced/guided for everything instead of making a real decision.
So... having sex, won't change how you act or how you see things FYI
It's certainly not 10-20% of guys but there is a good bit of the male populace who are kiss less virgins in their 20's.
@BubbleBoy69 And girls too, srsly
@SovereignessofVamps there aren't as many female virgins in their 20's though, when compared to men. The 80/20 rule is true, in a sense. Women almost always want to "date up".
@Kirah I'm sure there's more guys too, but lots of girls have their V cards because they want them. It's not always unwilling and ofc that goes for guys too.
And after you lost your virginity, what are you gonna do?
You know losing your v-card won't magically change you, right? And that you'll still be shitty with girls.
You can no longer be a virgin, but you'll still suck at getting women, and your life will be exactly the same as now when you're a virgin.
It's your dick, it's your money, you do what you want, but what you're gonna do isn't gonna change shit.
lose*
You will no longer be a virgin* (Geez, so many mistakes xD)
If you go to a prostitute you'll no longer be a physical virgin, but you'll still be a social/emotional virgin. I was a virgin until age 25, due to social backwardness and lack of confidence. In high school, I was skinny, ugly, got teased and bullied a lot, and wanted to be as invisible as possible. I had never kissed a girl, dated, or went to any dances. The only friends I had were a few nerd guys that were in the same situation as me. At that time, I was considering suicide, not so much over the virgin thing, but just because my whole life was jacked up.
After the high school years, I did a lot of growing up, got involved in positive activities (ex: partying, tubing down creeks with co-worker friends, ice skating lessons), and developed a sense of accomplishment, self-confidence, and a building up of social skills. When I had confidence in myself, women had confidence in me, and I could get along well with them as friends. There was peer pressure on me to get laid, but I felt strong enough inside to go at my own pace. I ended up losing my virginity to a woman by chance opportunity at age 25 because I had the self-confidence and composure to do so, not because I was 'desperate to get laid'. I didn't even tell her I was a virgin, and I ended up giving her a really good time. She even told me that. I don't think she even suspected I was a virgin.
The trick is, you have to have confidence in yourself, or a woman won't have confidence in you.
did she end up becoming your girlfriend? the girl you lost your virginity to? and have you had a girlfriend since?
@HateBeingSingleAspie - Actually, she was a married woman who was looking for a little side action. She was the same age as me, loved her husband, but he was about 15 or 20 years older than her, and his sex drive was nowhere near as revved up as hers. I felt a little bit guilty getting involved with her, but on the other hand, she would have gone to some other guy anyway. She actually persued me more than me persuing her, dropping little hints. Funny thing was, I went down on her orally, unknowingly rubbing her G spot, and gave her an orgasm that took her to the stratosphere. Not bad for a virgin - LOL! Our affair didn't last very long, as I said something stupid to her that I regret, and never saw her again. That was 35 years ago. I've been married for 30 years.
What age did you get your first girlfriend at?
@moviedude714 - Not sure, maybe 26. We split up, but then a year or two later, I met the woman who would become my wife. We were all over each other for years, but we've gotten older, and sex isn't as big a deal to us anymore.
Ya I bet you had to initiate, escalate everything
@moviedude714 - I guess you're asking about me and my wife? I met her at work. I had just gotten a promotion and assigned to a new shift, and she had just been hired and assigned to that same shift a week later. I think she had gotten that shift because a girlfriend that she graduated high school with was also on that shift. Anyway, we just hit it off like magic. It was like we had known each other for years. I asked her out one day, and even though she had a head cold at the time, she accepted because she was afraid I wouldn't ask her again. Everything just took off from there, although she did have a couple of ex-boyfriends who thought they were still in the picture. We just ignored them until they gave up. A word of advice - she told me that one of those guys wanted to get it on with her once, and he came out of the bathroom wearing matching pajamas all buttoned up. She said it looked like mommy dressed him up and laughed her ass off at him. That evening didn't go well for him.
For one thing... you are not a loser. My son was 24 when he lost his. He lost it to his first girlfriend and the love of his life. But if you really want to do this... please be carful.
I do hope you go to a prostitute and regret every penny
I lost my virginity at a young age because I felt like it was important. It wasn't and now my first time will always be with a bitch I couldn't stand because... I felt "left behind". I was younger then you but it's the same frustration.
If you want to pay for sex then go ahead but sadly it won't solve the issue you seem to have and that is you seem lonely. I would suggest going to more social events and getting to know new people. You'll find connecting isn't as hard as you're making it out to be here. Men can find a parter (or have casual sex) if they want. It's just some men have stupidly high expectations. Nothing wrong with that but let's be honest very few people are the "10" you watch in porn.
Didn't lose my virginity 'till I was 23 and it wasn't a great experience, anyway.
Know why I don't mind going public with such info? Because I don't care and because nobody else really cares, either.
Admire the honesty honestly not a big deal in my opinion. Just don't tell women this in your real life for they will be repulsed. It's most likely not going to as satisfying as you think.
Who's the girl?
You aren't a loser because your a virgin. The women you approach may not like the way you come at them so that's really something you have to think about. There are a lot of things you have to take into account.
You sound insecure which is extremely unattractive. Even if you do still lose your virginity you'll still probably feel like a loser. It's not going to make you feel better and if you truly think it will then you don't need to be having sex or trying to get in a relationship with anyone.