Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
So you are a single adult and you don't feel like staying sex deprived until you are ready to meet your next serious partner. One night stands are not really practical. You have an attractive trustworthy friend who is available for low-key sex and you're like "why not?"
I will tell you "why not?"
1. The last thing you want is unrequited feelings.
Avoid as much as you want, this is inevitable. Bad news is, it is much more likely to happen to women than to men. Ladies, our bodies produce an abundance of chemicals in anticipation of and in response to sex, creating mood-boosting properties similar to anti-depressants. These include, but aren’t limited to, oxytocin, vasopressin, and norepinephrine. And the more often we have sex with any one partner, the more of this Chemical cocktail our bodies release. And guess what? That cocktail is highly addictive.
Meaning? We get stuck on partners even when we don’t want to. While this happens to more than 3/4 women, it only happens to 1/4 men, usually inexperienced/virgin men. Worse, if you're not condom fans and he usually nuts in you, about 97% of what’s in semen isn’t sperm; it’s biochemical warfare that gets you uber-hooked on him, but doesn't do the same thing to him. For the other 3/4 Men. Their bodies produce the chemical cocktail, too, but only if they have a long lead-in before sex. Evolutionary psychologists (not me) say it’s a mechanism that protects men from investing their hearts, wallets, and parts further south in temporary women who are likely to cheat; factually, she who is Hard To Get is usually more faithful post-commitment, (according to them) so genetically, men are primed to value the chase.
So long story short, ladies, sex will make you catch feeling that your partner will not be happy with in 75% of the cases.
2. You will never communicate enough, which automatically means it will not last.
You don't want to seem vulnerable, weak. You don't talk about your link, you don't discuss your relationship. You are afraid your honesty will freak your partner out or push them away. You don't ask them to stay over although you want them to. You kinda just want to cuddle but they might misinterpret it. You don't talk openly, you supress your feelings and don't express yourself. You end up frustrated. It isn't good for your mental health.
3. By the time you start being friends with benefits, you stop being friends.
Yes it's cool at first, you hang out and laugh and be great friends and just have sex when you feel like it, but then things change. In a relationship, you are your partner's only gf/bf, they make time for you, and it is psychologically reassuring. In a friends with benefits thing, you are not your friend's only friend. Eventually, they will go and spend time with their other friends and do their thing and only hit you up when they are horny. At this point, they become your selfish fuckbuddy instead of friend, and you start feeling used, and it crashes your self-esteem, and ruins your link.
Eventually, after your thing ends, you have very little chance of re-establishing the friendship you had in the past.
4. You probably don't want the drama of an non-exclusive relationship either.
Your partner is free to see other people and so are you. You probably don't want to ask them to avoid seeming desperate but you have high risk of catching an STD when you are in a non-exclusive relationship. Let's not imagine the dramatic question of "whose baby could this be?". Yup it happened before. It could happen to you too.
5. You deserve better than that.
Yes. you deserve better than a person who is not willing to make the slightest effort for your wellbeing. You deserve someone who thinks you are enough. You deserve someone who thinks you deserve to be committed to. Anyone else is a waste of your youth. And if you are a person with commitment issues, do not take them out on another person. Heal your commitment issues and insecurities Individually or they will spread like a disease in your togetherness.
Gentlemen, do not waste your best testosterone years on lame girls. Ladies, do not waste your best boob years on lame guys.
What Girls & Guys Said
15 44Most girls do eventually get feelings for the guy if the sex is good. Strong orgasms stimulate so much oxytocin in girls' brains that they can't really help but get attached to guys who do it for them. Girls weren't falling in love with me when I had low confidence and my technique sucked.
I think being a friend with benefits is a contradiction within itself. Why be friends if you're going to have sex? You're crossing certain boundaries that real friends would never do. And I also think it's done out of fear of commitment, but the two parties end up getting hurt and ruin a wonderful friendship. If you're friends, stay friends and keep it platonic.
Yep. Don't give yours up 'till you get at least some of his. :)
It's ok as long as you're both on the same page
it could go wrong /catching feelings but generally It has more upsides than down/makes you feel a lot better
It is a good read and nice perspective about why FwBs is a bad idea.
That's why you shouldn't have what you think is a "fwb" but only a fuck buddy.
A friends with benefits is is just fuck buddies done wrong.
Her body is great, but her personality is awful. What am I supposed to do in that situation.
do you usually make friendships with people whose personnalities are awful? I don't, I can't. Initially, I don't have a friend whose personality is awful. so if I were in that situation I wouldn't call that a friend with benefit, just a random fuck buddy that I wouldn't want to see more than a couple times.
#4 doesn't seem right. While friends with benefits is not exclusive, id imagine that most people in those relationships dont have a lot of one-night stands and if they have more than one friend with benefit then they really have no friends with benefits, you're just part of the line up. Thats nothing new has been going on for years before hand and stds still aren't an epidemic.
#2 is also a little far fetched i think. Not saying that most people are open with their feelings in a friends with benefits relationship but i do believe lack of communication is their own fault. Cleary they werent that good of friends to begin with if they feel like they should hide their emotions. Also there is no way a relationship can survive without communication. This is an obvious fact so if they aren't willing to communicate then clearly they dont want it to continue.
No I disagree. May as well just have a friends with benefits so you can get free sex without all the crap that goes with a relationship. Then just keep it going anyway when she finds someone.
Never had one, never will. Don't care about it, my hand does a better job anyways.
Some people want sex with someone they trust without having to commit. I think it can be great for some people. There should be a take written from the POV of a girl who likes having friends with benefits and explaining why since the myth seems to be that 95% of girls don't like friends with benefits but in actuality i come across it all the time maybe even more than relationships
If I'm not feeling too lazy later, maybe I'll get on that :-)
Nice Mytake.
I had a friends with benefits situation with a guy and no I didn't end up falling for him. I met another guy with whom I wanted a relationship with so I ended the friends with benefits thing with this guy. He's still my friend though and we still talk. Just no sex anymore.
However, I do agree, it's not for everyone.
This is for some people, for me it's a great thing.
I have similar beliefs
Yes, I don't think they last.
Thank you
I guess all this refers to intercourse, right? But I think that some things like oral sex only can make a difference for this.
friends. with benefits. only the lesser western civilization could produce such an oxymoron. such a ridiculous elf contradicting term
whatare best boob years? before they get saggy?