Why It's Her Fault If She Can't Orgasm!

[purplepoppy]

It's important to hold the sheets in case he tries to steal them

Orgasms are great but some girls struggle to have them. Usually the guy gets the blame for being crap in bed or having a tiny dick. But a lot of the time it's her fault. So relax and enjoy the poppy guide to the female orgasm.
A lot of the graphs in this mytake come from
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5087699/#!po=5.50847
Which is a long term study on female orgasms. It's worth a read to see how much you agree with the survey results.

Science is never wrong

HOW EASY IS IT TO ORGASM

Google claims less than 50% of girls can orgasm through sex. However a closer look at figures shows it varies not only by age group but by when the survey was done. Looking at the graph it seems every year less and less women under 34 are orgasming. MILFS have a higher orgasm rate which explains a lot while teen girls and grannies seem to be getting a raw deal. So if you want to orgasm discuss with mother and not granny.

IT'S HER FAULT FOR NOT SLEEPING AROUND

The more skilled a woman is in bed the more likely she is to orgasm. Therefore if guys want wives who orgasm easily they should choose experienced women over virgins. The important thing to note is it's real sex experience that counts not masturbation, so get out there girls and get as much dick as you can, your husband will thank you for it.

WOMEN DON'T ORGASM EASIER BY MASTURBATION

It's a common myth that we all cum easily with a few wiggles of a finger but can't get off no matter how hard he tries. The truth is for most women there's no difference. So ditch the dildo and get dicked.

THE VAGINA ISN'T INSENSITIVE

I hear this all the time, guys think it's a dead tube we feel nothing in and only the clitoris matters. Not surprisingly this argument tends to come from "smaller" guys. Yes the clitoris is very important but don't neglect the rest of the vagina

MASTURBATION DOESN'T TRAIN YOU HOW TO ORGASM

We're often told that girls have to learn what feels good through masturbation so we can guide guys to give us orgasms. The fact is even if you never masturbate or your fingers always white and wrinkly it has little effect on sex orgasm potential.

AGE YOU STARTED MASTURBATION DOESN'T MATTER

Similarly it doesn't matter when you first started masturbating. You might have spent half the night exploring or slept in boxing glove it has little influence on your later orgasm potential.

IF YOU CAN'T ORGASM TRY CHEATING

Girls will fight over the best men

Biologically women choose longterm parters for their "good genes" and their potential to support a family, I.e. their financial ability. Of course other factors come into play like political and religious beliefs, shared interests etc. All of which water down the gene factor. The problem is a guy maybe a great provider but if his genes aren't up to much it's worth cheating so your kids aren't held back by them.

Now this might sound awful but biologically it makes sense and women are programmed to cheat. Now there's a down side to cheating, you might get caught. Luckily mother nature has a solution, you will orgasm faster and easier with a good looking stranger. It's how nature allows us to maximise our pregnancy potential in short sneaky quickies.

HAVE ONE NIGHT STANDS

Remember how I said only real sex counts when it comes to learning how to orgasm? Well there's no better way than getting in some practice than with one night stands.

Guys vary enormously not only in size but in stamina, style, and ability. When a guy just wants to unload and go it's up to YOU to learn how to orgasm quickly. Once you've learnt you can guide men better in bed.

Sext isn't real sex

THE BIGGEST SEX ORGAN IS THE MIND

That's why it's important not to drop us on the head and why safe sex means wearing a crash helmet.

OK that's a joke (I have to point that our for some of you lot) but it's true. The wrong mindset will kill your ability to orgasm and simply learning to let go will vastly up your chances. This is why real sex is so important, it builds your self confidence so you can let go when it comes rather than fighting it out of embarrassment.

So there you go, stop whinging you can't orgasm and just get more practice, there's plenty of guys willing to help.

[MrOracle]

One thing that doesn't get talked about nearly enough is constant mental foreplay. I like to keep my girl mentally engaged with me - both romantically and sexually - so that she's constantly thinking about me and when we'll get together. I'll put a thought in her head, or ask her to think about something, and that will keep her mentally and emotionally stimulated.

From there, I'll kiss her in the kitchen or caress her a bit walking down the hall and I'll hold her hand on the couch and I'll rub her thigh in the car. Those physical touches only amplify her thoughts and emotions.

By the time we're in the bedroom, she's already half-way there, because her brain was already thinking about it for minutes or hours. If you can get into her mind like that, she often won't last though 60 seconds of foreplay without an orgasm, and with most girls, once you get that, you can keep her up in that zone and give her more of them pretty easily.

The whole mental/emotional aspect is so often overlooked, but if you know how to work it, orgasms for her are virtually a given, and you won't have to work nearly as hard IN bed to give them to her - and if you're STILL willing to work hard in bed, you'll give LOTS of them to her.

[Babybebe15]

👏👏👏

[Lliam]

Great MyTake, purplepoppy. Fascinating topic. The stats were interesting, too.

You said "only 'real sex' counts when it comes to learning how to orgasm." That implies that orgasming from PIV sex is a learned response. If so, then what are the keys? Is it it a matter of freeing one's mind from inhibition, cultivating erotic thoughts and attitudes, or practicing skills and techniques with real live men? I'm sure it's a combination of those things, but what are your thoughts?

Studies found that "women between 27 and 45 had more frequent and more intense sexual fantasies than younger or older women. They also had more sex and were more likely to have it sooner in a relationship." This doesn't say anything about orgasms, but I take that as a given. So I wonder what accounts for that. By that age, have they lost inhibition due to experience? Have they learned what mental and physical stimuli gets them to orgasm when they are with a man? Have they learned how to fuck enthussiastically for their own gratification and not simply to please their partner?

[Lliam]

Thanks for the MHO, ppoppy. :-)

[kerrylouise]

I had no problem organizing in a steady relationship, I could edge myself closer just by thinking filthy things at the time we were having sex. I thinks just as much psychological, as it is phsyical. The most recent guy I dated classes kissing as foreplay and won't even finish me off after sex.
I can't imagine being with someone who has no interest in pleasuring me to the full extent. Even when there was foreplay, he wasn't quiet getting it and often gave up. Honestly, if you can't have an amazing sex life, then what's the point. It would be misery

[MrReliable12]

Wow I’m sorry to hear that. Sounds like you need a more attentive and selfless lover !

[TransAm85]

You're right to some extent.. In my 20's I only orgasmed during sex w/a steady partner, but it was better if there was foreplay first. After I turned 30, things changed a lot for the good. Then, when I got my tubes tied in '19 .. hell yes! No chance of a baby, so my orgasms are long and like I'm peeing on my husband! LOL It is all in a woman's head. I used to think a dude would laugh at the sounds I'd make when I'd cum. Now I look like I'm having a real seizure b/c it feels so good!

[MrReliable12]

Does that mean you squirt on him?

[PolyGamer]

The way this message is being conveyed in certain areas is somewhat strange and subversive at times, as it feels like cultural conditioning more than providing a useful "howto" manual. (what isn't shifting the Overton window these days, am I right? lol)

In short it's up to a woman to develop a strong connection with her body, and acting like sleeping around is their secret weapon sounds like you're here to condition them into a specific type of box, but not necessarily the correct box for everyone. The article you wrote about the study you referenced is largely correct in that the biggest sex organ is the brain itself, in so many words.

Sex is mostly in the brain, and I have been a productive voice for this type of approach to sexual development for what seems like forever.

If a woman can develop a productive inner voice, then she will have an easier time connecting with her hardware and everyone else's hardware, and some of the more productive ways a woman can develop a productive inner voice can include but are not limited to things like self-hypnosis, entrainment, and also learning to understand how their body responds to touch and how to really build on that because, at the end of the day, the brain (some would argue also the heart) is being touched and everything else is just an extension of that one thing.

Thanks for sharing<3 I appreciate the effort you put in.

[DoctorSex]

This is haram. You're asking girls to sleep around? Haram. Unacceptable

[ChrisMaster69]

Lol love it.

Really well written.

at times we just want a plate of food to nosh and don’t really care.

other times we want the build up and candles, with starters, a fish dish, mains and dessert.

builds to a sense of occasion and our brains take on all those trimmings.

suggestion and anticipation work really well,

[erandal]

Great MyTake.

[CA4444]

Having an orgasm or not doesn't even matter... so why even blaming anyone. Orgasms can be very technical/mechanical, they are only a body response. i had never orgasmed with any man and a guy i had never had sex with made me squirt like crazy twice in (what felt) a few minutes because he knew exactly what he was doing. And mentally i wasn't even that horny or that much into it/him, just my usual self. there's no way i would have found out about the two vaginal spots he stimulated by myself and there's no way i could explain to a guy how to do it because i absolutely dont know how the fuck he did that! And I know i can't do it myself lol. But guys there's definitely a technique to learn if you want to. I guess every women is different though.

Funny thing is I can't even put it as the best sex i had cause it was only mechanical.

[mlbfan92]

Honestly for guys it can be difficult. There have been times no matter how much stimulation I give myself, I won't ejaculate for some reason. It can be very frustrating and next day, it's all better!

[CA4444]

@mlbfan92 Mmmmh yes also happens to me. sometimes stress or just a bad day can really have an impact on our libido/sex life etc..

[mlbfan92]

Dehydration can be a cause too. Allergies too.

[LovingLoverReturned]

Being promiscuous won't improve orgasms, rather it can increase her chances of bad experiences with selfish people who don't care one bit about her , just to pump and dump.

Orgasms are mental , not physical... if a rapist is giving cunnilingus and she is scared, it won't help her orgasm... . if her partner accepts her for who she is and she feels relaxed with her partner, this is important for orgasms...

[LovingLoverReturned]

Seems the article you linked agrees. Relationships are important... there are no relationships in pump and dump.

[SeekingSubmission]

An orgasm has at least 4 types that I know of maybe more... First is the clit orgasm and it's only ever achieved from stroking the clitoris. The second is a vaginal orgasm and it's triggered by vaginal penetration. And the third is an anal orgasm, witch is when the nerves from the clit that run along the vagina and then end along the anal cavity. Anal penetration can stimulate those nerves while the man pounds her ass and teases her clit wit his fingers. Triggering her to orgasm...

There is the most elusive orgasm. The G-Spot orgasm! This orgasms triggered by hitting the spot right up underneath the clitoris but inside the vagina! This spot also causes very wet ejaculation otherwise known as squirting!

Men normally learn these through experience but I plan on teaching my son about them...

[Apple1996]

Great mytake definitely something that will be helpful for the men on here

[BlueScorpio]

I find it harder cause sex for me is kinda painful. I have tight vaginal muscles so it can be difficult.

[GnarCute]

"MILFS have a higher orgasm rate which explains a lot while teen girls and grannies seem to be getting a raw deal. So if you want to orgasm discuss with mother and not granny."

This is bad girl, no shame. Granny was young and horny milf at one point too. She could have some golden knowledge mine did when i moved back to Osaka.

Ever since I took her advice sex has been an explosions of pleasure!!

[GnarCute]

for those interesting my granny told me (i am translating what she told me to English the best I can) "Sex can be a play if you play your parts well then the climax will feel greater and be more wonderful, I have always loved a man who took what he wanted and my husband always felt stressed and weak at work so we began our own little game of the princess and the ronin, and we would play our roles with a lot of vigor and confidence." Stuff like "buying very cheap clothes that we could tear apart easily as to add to the realism of the role play, buying and obtaining real stuff like a katana, tanto and ropes. We even saved up to get a rodeo bull from america to add to the role play/"

[reelteen]

The first time you have one, it's typically a mental block that prevents you from finishing it. Saying it is the fault of the woman isn't necessarily true, even if she is the one reserved and too "in her head". The pressure women feel from men to have one every time they have sex, society saying, "it's the only way to keep a man around in bed", and plenty of other reasons, all contribute to her not being able to. Did you think this BS argument would somehow help women acheive orgasm?

[EmmaMary]

@purplepoppy

Congratulations once again.

It never ceases to amaze me the huge amount of time, effort and research you put into producing these absolutely outstanding, informative and awe-inspiring MyTakes.

[mark000h]

It's feminists like you why guys are no longer committing and settling for hump and dump.

[Texasgal95]

I think it’s because you get so hung up on achieving an orgasm. That has become the base of what good sex is but that’s a lie you can have great sex and not orgasm

[Kaamraj]

Let's be serious here, vast majority of men, including myself dont care if the woman orgasms or not. The reason is very simply. Sex should be an equal value exchange or a mutual thing, both partners get to have fun. But women have made it a value loaded exchange where men must fulfill a list of pre-requisites and do this and that to get sex. And if I have done so many things, then the sex is about me, not you.

[DrewJay]

This was the longest post I have read so far. It was good thought. Thank you for spending the time to post it.

[AviatorTom]

Excellent treatise on the female orgasm. You deserve a gold star. ⭐

[JessicaEarl]

This is great. As long as there’s not a medical reason for it, it’s all up to the girl to focus and get turned on enough to O. Sometimes being aroused and staying aroused is hard work but we’ll worth it for the sensations and for the relationships health

[andreasderjuengere]

You're a great scientist. I enjoyed each single word.

[anon1903]

Thanks for including that virgins have trouble in this direction. A lot of guys have the misconception that if they're some kind of God, they can have female virginity as a standard or something. Love your take! 💍 ❤️ 😘

#ittakestwototango