Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
In order to understand, you have to know a little about human history, biology, and evolution. Just as women evolved traits and instincts that reinforced the role women play in having and raising children, so too did men. But the role men play in reproduction is very different from a woman’s. A woman can only have about one child per year (not counting twins and other multiple births), plus she and her child will be vulnerable and require care and protection for some period of time, and that was even more true before the era of modern medicine that began in the 1950s.
"Men desire variation- it assures diverse genetics."
Women also bond with and establish an emotional connection to the person they have sex with. For these reasons, women, where they had a choice, have always tried to find the best man they could to have sex with and to father their children, with strength, the ability to provide and to protect being major factors in who they chose.
Because a woman can only have one child per year, she looks for the best man she can find to have sex with that YEAR (at least).
Men work very differently. Biologically, a man’s job is to fertilize the woman’s egg with his sperm, and once that is completed, his job is done. A man can impregnate at least one woman per day, potentially, so his criteria for having sex is based on finding the best woman to have sex with that DAY. In addition, evolution and natural selection favored men who had sex with, and thus fathered children with, as many different women as possible, in particular women who were as different from him genetically as possible.
By having a large and varied genetic pool, he greatly increased the chances that at least SOME of his children would survive both illnesses and any recessive genetic conditions that might be in his family. Men who failed to father children with multiple women could have a disease or genetic abnormality take the lives of all of his children, and thus his genes would die out.
That’s Natural Selection at work!
This is why men developed the instinct and desire to have sex not only with many women, but with different TYPES of women; in other words, men desire VARIATION. It assures diverse genetics, collectively giving his children the best chance to survive.
As civilization developed, and rules and relationships were formalized and religion codified, most early religions allowed men to take multiple wives, though he was expected to provide and protect those that he took. As populations grew, and more fighting occurred from men looking to secure more wives, religion started to establish the concept of a single wife. If “god” allowed only one wife, the theory went, then men would be much less apt to start wars to acquire more, and to some degree, it worked.
But men’s desire for many and diverse women never went away, and brothels and prostitution were present in every group of humans of any notable size, from back before the beginnings of written history. With no birth control, pregnancies among prostitutes were common, and society created rules to protect “official wives” by preventing children born out of marriage from inheriting the man’s property, titles, or even his family name, ensuring the man’s primary focus was on his own family.
Eventually, society even formalized non-prostitute girlfriends as “mistresses”, and as the world recovered from the Dark Ages into the Renaissance and through the end of the 19th Century, mistresses were a common and even accepted part of society. Wives and legitimate children still retained all of the rights and privileges, and mistresses were of much lower stature in society, but the need for them was understood and accepted (though not always welcomed) universally.
"Porn allows a man to see women who look DIFFERENT from the woman he gets in bed with every night, and so his urge to go out and pursue other REAL women dissipates."Fast-forward to today: most men in relationships, whether a marriage or a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, do NOT have mistresses or see prostitutes. Is that because men no longer feel compelled to have sex with numerous different women? Not at all; men still have those strong instinctual desires. But today, men have PORN, and the fantasies that they create in their heads based on viewing porn, that satisfy those urges to a great degree. Porn allows a man to see women who look DIFFERENT from the woman he gets in bed with every night, and so his urge to go out and pursue other REAL women dissipates.
This is a good time to address another issue women have with porn: assuming that the type of women your man looks at in porn is the type of women he wants to date/be with/marry. Women say “you can’t be attracted to ME, because those women you look at look nothing like me!”
That’s missing the point entirely: no matter what a man’s girl looks like, he’s driven to be sexually attracted to women who look different from her.
If she’s a tall, thin blonde with big breasts, he may look at tiny Asian women, or curvy Black women, or dark-haired Latina women, not because he isn’t attracted to his own girl, but simply because he desires VARIATION. It’s biological programming that he can’t control, just like women who get “baby fever” when all their friends start having children, or who panic when their “biological clock” starts ticking down.
The thing to realize and understand is that porn greatly reduces the urge to ACTUALLY CHEAT. Instead of your man hitting on the girl at work, or going to bars alone to meet women, or chatting with girls on Facebook in order to meet and have sex with them to satisfy his urges for variation, he watches porn. And unlike those other alternatives, porn requires no personal interactions. Your man isn’t talking to the girls in porn, has never met those girls, and probably has no desire to.
He won’t develop an emotional connection with them and leave you, because he’s just using their images to satisfy his biological needs. Porn is cheap, convenient and the least dangerous option to the relationship.
If you take porn away, something would take its place; we’d be back to girlfriends, mistresses, and prostitutes, and I think most women would agree that porn is a far better solution than that.
For women who say “men should just focus on their girlfriend/wife and forget about other girls completely”, remember this is a biological instinct that is deeply programmed into most men. It would be like telling women “just don’t get attached when having sex” or “ignore your biological clock”. Most people simply can’t do those things, because the instincts and desires are innate; they’re an integral part of what and who we are. Even men would like to be able to turn those instincts off sometimes, as many women would find it convenient to turn their own instincts off on occasion, but it’s not possible.
The best we can do is acknowledge those instincts and deal with them in the way that causes the least amount of problems. To date, porn is the best solution for dealing with men’s desire for sexual variation, and if more women understood that, and understood what the alternatives were, they would feel very differently about porn.
What Girls & Guys Said
88 63For arguments about p*rn AND guys who cheat. There is no argument to explain why a person may be an Asshole. Some people are weak willed and will cheat, some people don't care and will cheat. Some people just cheat with no reason. Regardless of p*rn, substance, or anything else, they're cheaters and nothing says that's OK. If ya want a open relationship/polyamorous, be that way from the beginning. If not, keep it in your pants or break it off if you can't stay faithful. Nobody deserves it.
...unless she wants to watch it with you. ;P
...And getting all technical about it does not change how weird it is. If a guy wants to watch p*rn...fine...but NEVER tell your girl about it. It's a personal time for you...and as far as I'm concerned your girl does not need to know about it even if p*rn doesn't make her feel insecure...it's still kind of weird...knowing your guy is checking out other naked people. You can watch p*rn without her knowing. It's simple. Do it alone, by yourself...she doesn't have to know...
.And so what..if a girl finds out her guy is watching p*rn and he says "hey babe don't worry about it...let me watch this p*rn or else I'll most likely cheat on you"...that is supposed to make all her worries go away and make everything okay. haha. I don't think so...
Okay...if a guy is going to cheat..he is going to cheat regardless of what p*rn there is. P*rn is not a substitution for cheating. Lol. Guys naturally have a desire to spread their sperm as much as they want and they can't do that with p*rn. If you want to watch p*rn when your woman is not around and it does not affect your relationship that's fine but that won't stop a guy from cheating. What about the cheaters that watch p*rn. What do you say about them?
The amount of insecurity and stupidity this article has attracted is astounding. Girls telling guys why guys watch p*rn and guys telling girls and guys why they watch p*rn.
Everyone has different motives behind watching p*rn, let it be. For some people, it's pure curiosity while for others it's for variety and to explore.
So, in this case, it's okay for women to seek emotional fulfillment from other men because their primal nurturing instincts are still carried.
When my boyfriend uses this scientific excuse for watching p*rn , I will go find a deep conversation or a romantic evening (no sex involved) because I require emotional variation.
I see the point you're attempting but women don't seek emotional variation but rather emotional stability lol
That's not the same, because you actually interact with those other men by talking to them, while he watches p*rn and doesn't interact with them. The same would be if you watched Titanic, The Notebook and all the other chick flicks to fulfill your emotional needs.
@zorro8888 Then shouldn't men seek sexual stability rather than sexual variation? @bubble_tea I agree with that. But I believe it's on different levels. I understand a man needs different visual stimulation. They are visual. Women are emotional and can't become emotionally satisfied while watching a romance in the same way men become sexually satisfied by watching P*rn . A movie doesn't engage a woman the same way a p*rno engages a man.
"shouldn't men seek sexual stability" We do, by staying with one partner/monogamous relationship. Do you not realize masturbating is not the same as having sex? If you want to make that point from your original statement that men shouldn't watch p*rn because you see it as a form of infidelity then women would also have to stop watching romantic movies as they connect more on an emotional level.
I believe it does. A friend once told me she stopped watching chick flicks, because she would only get jealous at the female protagonists because the male protagonists do so many romantic things for them and she compared her own relationship to theirs and become dissatisfied with her bf.
I hope your boyfriend cheats on you because that stupid ass logic you just tried to put on here with that comment.
I watch p*rn too, but usually just for the sole reason that I get curious/a little bored whenever I can't be with him (because yes, I would much rather be with him than watching p*rn). That's fine. It's fine if he gets curious too.
What's NOT fine is him watching p*rn to stave off his "instinctual drive" to have other women. As a substitute for physically cheating on me. Ladies, just dump the guy if he uses that as an excuse, because it's not a real excuse.
If she's fine with it them cool beans but in my opinion if it causes problems in your relationship or makes her feel insecure or uncomfortable then he would stop for just the sake of not wanting to make her feel like that... if you care about someone you would not want to be the cause of their pain... If p*rn was more important to my boyfriend then my feelings were then f*** him and on to the next... and p*rn has nothing to do with cheating.. that's just hilarious..
It doesn't bother me when my hubby watches p0rn because we're usually watching it together. I like to call it our education positional reference, lol. I think it keeps the bedroom hot, when you watch a vid and then you emulate the scene or the position.
Men are too cowardly to devote their entire essence to their mates, which would make p*rn less attractive to them. p*rn is a fantasy, nothing more.
Women are ugly, proud, bitter things these days and do not deserve a man's total affection.
Omg that's what your bitches **** is for! Release it in her not a towel or a tissue, toilet, hand ect. alternative to what f***in around? F***your chick I'm sure she' ll wabt it if you spend ad much time makein her feel hot as you do herkin it off to another chick. if f*** my nan ten times a day everyday if ge wasn't pissin me off watchin and getting off to someone else. Such kame excuses for
Thank you for your honest words! :-) I prefer my girlfriend's pussy and even mouth/hands over my hands.
Men in general watch p*rn to find variety, but there is so much more to this. There is no one reason why *men* watch p*rn. There are reasons. Plural. Among them would also be quick tension release, relaxation ritual, habit, the visual appeal, the simple enjoyment etc. To blame evolution is an overly simplistic explanation, especially considering what the author neglected to take into account, that our evolution as a species includes pair bonding to insure the survival of children into adulthood.
Haha, whoa, just read all of that. Well yeah, it's pretty obvious if you think about it. I'm a single guy, so a lot of the time I end up with J.I.L.L. (if you don't know who Jill is it's what your left hand spells when you look at it...) so yeah; BUT when I've been in a relationship, Jill was "the freak that my girlfriend wasn't" meaning there were things I had urges to do that she wasn't comfortable with, and there was a girl doing those things online. So just be happy he's jerking not cheating.
then a more appropriate title would be "a straight woman's guide to why straight men watch p*rn." not as eye-catching, but more well suited, and less likely to draw fire.
then I must be pretty good at finding the "exceptions." and while we're on the subject...this article only focuses on straight guys. bi-sexuals and gays watch p*rn to. as do lesbians.
watch p*rn with a guy. and not just as foreplay mind you. I've had insightful discussions after watching p*rn. so how could THAT possibly be if p*rn is based on biology?. this article is total bull.
i was in a triad with a guy and his fiancee. he had the two of us to play with, loved to watch p*rn, and still admitted to wanting other women. which he started acting on eventually. yet when I wanted to see another guy(just one, not many), he vehemently objected. so why could he do it and not me? his sexual desires were about CONTROL not biology. and this article says nothing about the guys who want to act out the p*rn they watch. besides, I watch p*rn regularly and I'm a female. sometimes I'l.
i really dnt have a prob with my boyfriend watching p*rn, but I like it even more if were watching it together.
I am very attractive.I have blond hair,green eyes cute shape but my guy still gets off once in awhile on p*rn.go figure,what ever.