Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
Please understand that this is my objective opinion based on observations, facts, and educated conclusions. Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs. I'm stating mine. Thank you.
So if you've noticed there's a similar take on here that address problems with porn being used in relationships. I wanted to continue the conversation as I feel like not enough women (and men) understand why they don't like that their partner uses porn despite being in a relationship with them. More so to the point I want to talk about the root of the problem. What's the real reason you don't want your partner watching porn? What conclusions or educated guesses can we make from it? I'll answer those. I want to preface this by saying that this is referring mostly to heterosexual relationships as it is coming from my perspective. This take within itself will explain why it is more prominent in heterosexual relationships. Also, I want to note that I may make this a series. I've decided to not number this one just in case I decide not to make a series out of it. In any case, here we go:
I think it's pretty damn clear who watches porn more between women and men. Why else would the porn industry try to cater to men more? Because that's who's going to spend the most money on porn. Who's the stars of the shows? Women. Who gets the awards, the accolades, the most money in the porn industry? Women. That said for you statistics people here's something from the Cosmopolitan (a feminine focused website):
So it's clear that men watch it more than women. It also shows that men watch it way more if they are in a relationship than if they aren't. Why is that? Well as I've said constantly on this site men have been considered hunters since the beginning of time. Not just hunters of game (live animals) but hunters of women. It's why I consider us the true romantics but that's for another time. We hunt. Women gather. It's been like that since man's conception and you're not going to change that despite how hard feminism tries. One of my favorite quotes is from
He wants to hunt. You can't just suppress 65 million years of gut instinct. -Dr. Grant from Jurassic Park
Now women should be able to relate to this as they also have an instinct... that's different but similar in this regard. Often times if you keep something away from a woman she'll want it more for the sake of value. The more it alludes her the more she desires it. In other words it's the phrase "She wants what she can't have." When men watch porn it is kind of similar. The camera angles, the make up, the scenes, the hot body, the appearance of having a good time. Men want that too. This is why married men more so than single watch porn more.
It doesn't matter how much both men and women love their spouse or GF/BF there's no getting rid of sexual attraction. It's there regardless and it should be. If it wasn't there would you even be attracted to your partner in the first place? What happens if you could get rid of this and y'all break up? I guess you'd live your life without finding another partner? Sexual attraction is necessary and men in particular genetically have a higher libido than women.
As pro-creators we want as many women as possible from a subconscious level. Consciously there are plenty of men who do not cheat. Plenty of men who try to suppress it. See we at the end of the day are human and can think logically. Sure we desire sex probably more than most women (there are exceptions) but we also from a conscious and logical perspective say "Well I'm in a relationship. I won't try to bang her, but I will get an eyeful." Sorry, but I fail to see the harm in that.
My girlfriend watches hentai. She told me she keeps up to 50 pictures of hentai on her phone. Fifty! Does this bother me? Not even a little bit. I think it's funny. I pick at her about it all the time. Should it bother me? Lol.This leads me to ask this:
Guys, doesn't it seem like women want to keep their partner from desiring anything but them? Doesn't it seem like women get jealous more so than men when it comes to dating and sexual attraction?
Why?
Because at the end of the day they too know men hunt for women. They know this. They know most of the time it is our decision to pursue something with another person. Not there's. Not only does this work from a natural standpoint but also given the feminine imperative doesn't want women to put in the effort. They realize (though good luck getting them to admit) that women don't have the social tools to do it, so it's fair to say that even from a society standpoint despite exceptions this is the norm.
Now let's get back to how this relates to porn. You see even though her partner isn't fucking that girl on the screen it still creates dread... aka jealousy. That big, green eyed, monster. This is a very important tool in a player's toolbag, but that's for another take. Point is women regardless of what phase they are in (transfer or validation) they both want to hang onto their partner (barring hypergamy). They want to be seen as valuable to their partner especially if they feel their partner is of a higher value, which is often times more true than not true. Why? Because women always either level out or up in terms of sexual market value in partners.
I'd also like to note that most of the time the women who are more so offended by this type of action by men are your more traditional, feminized, "marriage is everything" women. Same ones that aren't into kinky things. Same ones that aren't into being disrespected. Same ones who believe at the very least women are the exact same as men. These are the ones snooping around in their husband's computer history.
The way I see it if it hurts you that badly to see your husband or boyfriend watching porn then why not just leave him? I'll tell you why. Because there's something other than just the porn creating that dread. Like I said before it could be that he's of higher sexual value, which would mean you'd have to hope that you can find another of equal or higher value and that can be difficult for a woman to do. Especially if you've been so comfortable not having to worry about your own value. Now she has to "test the market" again and depending on how long she's been out of it that can be scary. Meanwhile the guy hell he can always go down a level to a girl who's of lesser value.
I could get into marriage and how that's more so for women than men, but I won't because that'll take us into a separate discussion. Just understand that porn doesn't ruin a relationship or even marriage. Dread/jealousy can and it's based on feminine insecurity.
Let's recap:
You: So wait a minute wait a minute. You're telling me that men watch porn because they want to be with other women? That's cheating!
Me: How? Is he fucking the porn star?
You: Well no, but..
Me: Have they ever even met?
You: I guess not..but I won't allow him to watch it! Period! He should be watching me instead!
Me: You're entitled to your opinion, but if you are trying to restrict another grown fucking person from watching whatever they want to watch then that speaks more about you than them. How that isn't insecurity and selfishness is beyond me.
You: Well well.. what if he lies and hides it?
Me: If a tree falls and nobody hears it did it still fall? Just because he doesn't do it in your presence doesn't mean he's lying or trying to hide it. However, if he IS lying about it then I'm sure it's because he doesn't want it to bother you.
You: Well if he knows it bothers me why does he do it?
Me: Because dread is something every female suffers with and it is even more apparent in monogamy. Just because it bothers you don't mean it's wrong for him to do it. It just means again that you're selfish and he doesn't want to bring your jealousy out.
You: I'm not jealous.
Me: Sure you are. Why else would it be a problem?
You: Because I should be all he needs.
Me: Again you may be all he needs in terms of companionship, but again the practice of hunting women or seeking out other women is still there. That need can't be accomplished by porking his one woman. That need comes from porn or eye balling the waitress a little bit. Again we can't and/or shouldn't negate sexual attraction. It's just a natural happening. Regardless of such a thing we can still think logically and not cheat.
So in conclusion, guys enjoy watching whatever the hell it is you want to watch. If your partner can't handle it that's her own issue that she'll have to figure out.
But again this is just my viewpoint based on observations, facts, and educated conclusions. Everyone is free to voice their own opinion. This is mine. Thanks.
What Girls & Guys Said
33 38Interesting My take.
Thanks.
You took a survey from Cosmo, a chick's magazine, and assume it's unbiased?
I assumed it was biased. That was the point. You need to re-read it.
I read the title and some of the pictures.
Well I guess that speaks for itself.
Well, I won't ever have to deal with that.
Yeah?
yep. I've been single my whole life and it sure looks like that will continue.
But you have casual encounters with women?
I had some FWBs in college but nothing panned out and so far at least with dating, I am 0 for about 900 for asking them out.
Ah okay. Well you don't need a girlfriend per say. Enjoy life man.
Hmm I have a different interpretation. Watching porn can happen for various reasons, and wanting to feed that primitive instinc of leaving descendants everywhere is not the only. I see it this way:
1) Whatching porn in a relationship is a way to phantasize about your SO, by finding someone with the same or similar physical characteristics of her/him, and you.
2) Porn can increase the sexual compatibility of a couple by satisfying the sexual desire of the one with higher sex drive, altough it has a limit. When the incompability is to much to hangle, porn instead of satisfaction it can create frustration.
3) This one might sound just like point 2, but point 3 is NOT about sexual desire, it's all about sexual fantasy.
A lot of sexual desire can be fulfilled with tons of sex, but when that sexual fantasy isn't, we got a problem.
Should a fantasy only stay as a fantasy? Depends of its legal implications. If its not eligal and don't constitute a danger to others well being and yours, seek for it, try to include it as part of the sexual games you practice during sex.
Honestly, I cannot agree more. You said it very well, man. Very well. It is indeed an issue of control, as in, girls trying to control their guys because they're scared of our higher libido (some of them, anyway). Thank you for pointing that out.
Now, my only criticism is kind of lame... your Take is really, really long lol. Just could use a bit of editing, is all. But thank you for this, and saying what needs to be said.
Its true that generally women are more bothered by it in a relationship.
But the fact is that porn is bad.
The reason that women are bothered by it isn't all that complex.
Yes, negelevt and jealousy come in too, but the main problem is the men are the addicts.
If your partner is an addict, then you will grpw to dislike the drug
Porn addiction can occur for men any age any time, and doesn't take a lot have him completelt obsessed with it too.
It litetally rewires your brain when it comes to sex.
It rewards you without any effort.
You talk about the hunter instinct.
But porn cuts it short.
There is no work done for your reward.
You just go online and type in sex.
Thats no work.
You basically reward yourself with an orgasm for no work.
In nature you would have to hunt , i. e. acquire a woman to have sex with her. That takes a lot of effort. The reward then means something.
Even during a marriage , sex takes work.
You have to physically move.
Unlike just lying there and jerking off.
Porn rewires your brain to the extend that, in some cases, men prefer it because real sex is too tiresome.
Also, you will feel less motivated to go for a real womam of you can just have porn, in case you are single.
Not only that, the biggest problem is that it overloads your brain with so much stimulus that you get desensitized to it.
You get tired of seeing the same thing over amd over again. You need newer, different, and more extreme stuff to get the same exitement.
If that doesn't say addiction then i dont know what is.
Also, the dopamine rush and reward one gets from porn induced orgasm is too high.
It is said to be above cigarettes or alcohol. Close to drugs, and more so than and drugs like weed.
Thats an extreme self reward.
That is not good for your psyche, it will demotivate you , stress you and lead to depression.
Get rid of it guys.
Give it up.
Nofap is the way
So you mentioned porn addiction.. that's outside of my discussion. My discussion wasn't about addiction. You could insert anything to that, but to play the same game so to speak here: Nobody says women wanting a bunch of shoes is an addiction. Nobody says women wanting to buy a bunch of clothes is an addiction. Nobody says women wanting to play with their sex toys all the time is an addiction. See it's all a matter of who's writing the narrative. There are some things you've mentioned that also aren't really bad things. Again it is based on one's perspective. Stimulating the mind to do newer and better things is not a bad thing. It also doesn't necessarily come from porn. Generally when it comes to things like that it's a personality. Same with drugs. People become drug addicts because A) Genetically they were born to be more susceptible to it. B) Yes environmental situations
I imagine people who are more driven or passionate and want to always try to succedd. Always looking forward... these aren't negative qualities and yet they could be attributed to wanting to try to things within sex. I mean what you're saying as far as psyche is basically a slap in the face to anyone who is kinky because usually it is more driven people like that who need the newness of things. It people like that who DO become successful because they aren't stagnant. They always look for the next thing. In the business world what would make us even more money? Now yes that can be taken into extremes, but I think you fail to understand that the same psyche in which true success usually stems from is the same that can cause negative addiction. The only major effect porn has on men is the creation of dread to women. That's really it. I believe that if you are addicted to porn you probably have an addictive personality in general.
It's the same reason why some people are more susceptible to being fooled by "magic" than others.
" The only major effect porn has on men is the creation of dread to women. " You are so wrong. A big portion of the human male population os suffering from porn addiction. You probably suffer from it, and as your posts suggests are heavily in denial. Women wanting shoes isn't an addiction, women buying new shoes every week is an addiction. Women wanting to buy new clothes is not addiction. Women buying clothes every week is an addiction. Its not exactly unhealthy to wear new clothes. The problem is that its an unnecessary waste of money. And no one wastes theur resources unreasonably like this unless they have an abnormal obsession. There is a reason they call such people shopaholics (what other words does that rhyme with?) Every negative effect i mentioned are bad effects. " Stimulating the mind to do newer and better things is not a bad thing." - thats not what porn viewers are doing. Completely different thing. Porn viewers have overloaded their brains with so much dopamine that
Normal sex doesn't stimulate them anymore. They go to more and more extreme stuff because the other videos are no longer giving them the same dopamine rush. Its like drug addiction. Few people start out with heroin, they most often progress to it. At first lighter drugs give you a good high. Over time, it doesn't feel as good. Then you start taking harder and harder drugs to experience the greater "high" that you used to get. That is drug addiction. And the dopamine rush and effects on the brain are exactly the same as porn addiction. Stimulating the mind to do newer and better things is not similar at all. Doinfmg thibgs takes effort and labour. So whatever reward you get in your brain, is as a result of work. Thats a good thing. It motivates you to work harder to earn a reward. Porn is different. Porn is reward without any effort. Dopamine is released with zero effort. That doesn't motivate people, it has the opposite effect: it demotivates people.
" I imagine people who are more driven or passionate and want to always try to succedd " Again, those are very motivated people, people who look towards earning rewards trough working. Porn watchers are the opposite. Its a no comparison. " a slap in the face to anyone who is kinky because usually it is more driven people like that who need the newness of things." Being kinky has nothing to do with porn. People were kinky since the beginning of time. Porn is a very recently developed drug. " i think you fail to understand that the same psyche in which true success usually stems from is the same that can cause negative addiction. " Not with porn addiction. Almost every other addiction takes some amount of effort to get the drug. Alcohol needs money. Cigarettes need money. Drugs definitely need money. To get the drugs you need money. To get money , you need to work. This creates a motive. While the drug in itself creates dopamine release in your body for no reason other than as a
Side effect, at least you need to do work to obtain it. In that way people who chase success are addictive. They work and work to get more rewards. Hence why they are often successful. But porn, doesn't offer any motive at all. All you habe to do is go online amd type sex. Absolutely zero effort. That creates a dopanime spike woth absolutely zero effort. That demotivates a person. It takes away incentive to do anything. Because you are already getring a dopamine rush without doing anything at all exept watching sex.
" Generally when it comes to things like that it's a personality. Same with drugs. People become drug addicts because A) Genetically they were born to be more susceptible to it. B) Yes environmental situations" Thats not all there is to it. Genetic susceptibility plays a part in how FAST you get addicted. Environmental susceptibility determines how likely you are to come in contact with the drug. But the problem is that if you come into contact with drugs and you start to take it regularly, its only a matter of time till when your body adapts a dependancy on it. Genetic susceptibility only determines how quickly your body depends dependant on it. Eventually, if given regularly, it will. If you dont believe me, ask a smoker or drinker to quit drinking for a while. If they have never tried quitting before, they would most likely believe that it would be easy. Most believe that they could stop whenever they wanted to. They would be proven wrong. Try to do stop even a habit, like
Brushing your teeth in the morning, or watching the news or a game on that time of the day. Try not to do something that you do every day. Its hard to break what your mind is accustomed to. And these activities provide little to no dopmine at all. You can imagine how hard it is to to stop trting not to do something that constantly rewards ypu with dopamine. Especially something that offers you dopamine with very minimal effort. Cigarettes and alcohol give you dopamine in much smaller amounts than porn-induced orgasm does. Yet so many people struggle with those addictions. Its not hard to imagine how many people are porn addicts. Pretty much any man who masturbates once in 2-3 days on average is a porn addict. And if that has been there routine for years, they WILL have troble going a week without it. Do ypu know what this means? This means that pretty much every mam that regularly watches porn is a porn addict. I know a lot of guys who watch porn. I only know two guys who watch
Porn once a week to once in 2 weeks. Most men watch porn ever day or every other day. That is not normal. That is addiction. And thats how most men today sadly are. Over years porn addiction does rot your mind. The zero effort dopamine rushes over decades will rewire your brain sexually and cause many problems. Almost all young healthy men with ED have porn-induced ed. can't get hard for regular women anymore. This number will only go up as men get older. Be smart and give it up. Else you will suffer the consequences in the future.
No wanting more of something and going through great lengths to try to obtain it is addiction regardless of having it or not. For example the desire of wanting to smoke another cigarette is a part of addiction just like the desire to want more shoes is an addiction. It's not really unhealthy to watch porn either unless you want to take the clothes example and the porn example to the extreme. We can go there, but... "You are so wrong. A big portion of the human male population os suffering from porn addiction. You probably suffer from it, and as your posts suggests are heavily in denial." No no sir. Read what I wrote again. I didn't deny addiction. Addiction again WAS NOT A PART OF THIS DISCUSSION. I was only addressing intersexual dynamics. We can talk addiction with anything. From here on out I'll just ignore your rebuttal on addiction, because again that was not the topic at all. At all.
"Porn viewers have overloaded their brains with so much dopamine that" "Normal sex doesn't stimulate them anymore." Which is why when people overload their brains with dopamine from sex or eating sugar they don't still desire it even more. Sounds like a contradiction to me. Which is it? Obviously it must taste good or still be good if they continue to desire it. And yes I know what they really desire is the dopamine fix... but if A gives you B and you desire B that doesn't negate your desire for A. But again we are harping on addiction again, which has little to nothing to do with my topic. Also, you mentioned people starting off with lighter drugs and then moving to harder drugs. Yeah some people do it, but it's also more myth than true. Often times people will continue to do the same drug because A) They can continue to get access to it and B) Their brains will continue to think that that particular drug will get them the high they want.
Now there are situations where they are introduced to new drugs and then become addicted to those, but them going "Well I did this. Now let me do this." Is not as common as most people think. Usually the dealer or maybe a friend introduces them to something different and they again get that super high so they get addicted to that too. That's different. In any case you are way off topic here. Way off topic. The point of this take wasn't that porn is bad in general. I could have wrote two or three separate takes on that. This take was within intersexual dynamics. Not addiction at all. I'm not saying your opinion is bad, but it's off topic. Plain and simple. I'm not going to continue to address this when this wasn't apart of the discussion. Now let me address the kinky stuff: "Being kinky has nothing to do with porn. People were kinky since the beginning of time. Porn is a very recently developed drug."
Being kinky and porn are the exact same in the way I was using it. Maybe you should reread what I wrote? You mentioned people who watch porn get bored of sex... I doubt this is true, but even if it was I don't see the harm in trying new sexual things. Trying new sexual things is very very common within the BDSM community. I've been in the community going on two years now. I've been to events. I'm in a kinky relationship. I have kinky friends. So yes trying new sexual things is very common. Why is that wrong? What harm is that doing? So fucking what if vanilla sex isn't enough for us? That doesn't make us damaged or addicts or whatever. Same with porn. So what if they want to try different things sexually because they watch porn? Yeah maybe you should explain that more, because you make no sense.
Your take was based on your opinion that porn was more of a problem for women in a relationship, because they are jealous. My point was that thats not the only reason. Not even the main reason. The main reason is that eatching porn is an addiction, and women dont like a porn addict husband. That was my point. The other thibgs i mentioned are because your take seems to be promoting porn viewring, when its a very bad activity that should be discouraged. Which is why i went deeper into addiction. No one likes being married to an addict. Which is what the main problem in relationships with porn vievers is. The reason that more women have a problem with it is because its men that become more addicted to porn than women. Men watch more of it, and more regularly. And no one likes their partner engaging in addictive behaviour that has negative effects on them.
" Which is why when people overload their brains with dopamine from sex or eating sugar they don't still desire it even more " - its not a contradiction. Its the same with porn, exept that with porn, the cycle is cut short. With sex , when you obtain it, and release dopamine, it will take a while till you obtain it again. By that time your dopamine levels will drop and you will crave ot again till you get it. Usually, for most people, the cycle continues without decrease in desire. Sometimes , for example in marriages, there may be too much sex to the point where it can desensitize you over time. But still its nothing like porn. Porn, because of the zero effort, rewards you without any work and you can obtain it again amd again whenever you want. This will desensitize you quickly since, there is so much dopamine rush, without enough time. Your body will adapt thus release less dopamine. But then you dont feel as good, and therefore feel the need to seek more stimlating stuff
In order to experience the original "high" Thats why people can just get tired of different pornstars and categories and move to different and weirder things. Your brain gets rewired then. You aren't supposed to be so desensitized. That is an effect of addiction. " Also, you mentioned people starting off with lighter drugs and then moving to harder drugs. Yeah some people do it, but it's also more myth than true." No it isn't. Its true. When you first experience a drug, is usually when you feel the complete rush of dopamine and other side effects that it can give you. If you get acces to it regularly, over time, the dopamine rush will decrease. And if it does, you will either have to consume more, or move to harder drugs. When it comes to drug addicts however, unlike porn there are many more variables. You may not have a steady availability of drugs. You may habe restricted access. In this case you may end up in a cicle where it takes time for you to obtain it, so the
The dopamine rush is close to the original. However, if you do have easy access to it, then the high will decrease over time. Then you would habe to ise more or try different stuff. If you manage to be an occasional or recreational user, you may not develop a dependacy on ot, since you are mot registering it to you body enough. But if you do get caught uo in a cycle and get dependant on it, then eventually you eill habe to take more or take something harder. This becomes inevitable. Thats why people move on to harder drugs. I know more than a few people who had done just that. As for being kinky, i dont think sex can desensitize you as wuickly as porn does , for reasons o said earlier, but i guess eventually you can be desensitized. I dont think being kinky is wrong per se, and im not against trying new things, but if you get to the point where you have to keep trying different things to get off and can't get turned on by normal sex anymore then its a problem.
Interesting.
Yee.
I’m not sure why I’m getting some thumbs down for saying nothing more than the word interesting, but whatever. :/
Because you didn't talk this take down.
I’m not good with explaining my feelings.
Aww.
"I think it's pretty damn clear who watches porn more between women and men. " lol hahaha. You must be under 25 years old.
I'll be 25 in a couple months. You must be a 102.
i saw and read this topic almost everyday on various forum , "perhaps" porn should be allowed to single men only , lol
Nice point of view.. Watching porn has many facets it's more than just watching girls it can fill a need that is not in your life. Then there the
Porn is normal. Women are going to have to get over it.
It should not effect relationship but women’s mostly get jealous
Yeah.
Thank you
That's new & interesting.
Thanks.
oh wow, you're so sensitive, what a great guy!
Your sentence doesn't make sense at all, but okay.
Interesting.
Maybe I'm the odd one I was the only guy in my class who dont use to watch porn even when I did watch after school did not really liked it
I mean it creates unrealistic expectations and besides i truly want to appreciate the girl with whom im involved with and she don't have to worry and get jealous that's how I feel
If the relationship suffers that is bad for both partners. It might seem that the men are having a great time spending every spare minute fapping to porn, but they're really not. It's a very damaging compulsive behaviour.
Interesting myTake
Women watch porn more than men do
Another lie
@TheUglyMan No
Yep it's completely false
@TheUglyMan okie
because she won't enjoy her real partner as much and would want more guys to have sex.
I guess that could be a possibility too...