In a hypersexualized society, pre-marital sexual abstinence may seem like a very unpopular or unfavorable choice. However, I believe there are numerous benefits to pre-marital sexual abstinence, especially when both partners are virgins before marriage.
1. You Will Have No Other Comparison
Men are often anxious about their penis size and whether they can still please their women with the penis. This assumes that the women already have experience with bigger or smaller penises and already have their own preferences. However, virgin women have no sexual experience whatsoever, so they won't be able to tell whether it's too big/small. Although they can certainly read about average penis size measurements, they are less likely to be judgmental when a man comes with a 3-inch penis or a 7-inch penis. They may just assume that that's how sex is.
Virgin men may not be able to ascertain whether their women are "good at sex", and the virgin women may not be able to ascertain whether their men are "good at sex". This is a good thing. It means they both start at a novice level and improve their sexual skills together, tailoring their skills to fit each other's needs and wants. If something works, then it is kept. If something does not work, then it is rejected.
2. Virginity Is Never Something To Be Ashamed Of.
No one, male or female, should be ashamed for being a virgin on the wedding day. Instead, virginity on the wedding day means that both partners are ready to commit to each other, and marriage will be consummated. Sex is just an act of consummation of marriage. Therefore, to have sex within marriage is something to be proud of, because pre-marital abstinence is an indication that a person has taken control of his or her life instead of being led by the whims of human behavior.
3. Having Sex With Only One Partner For Life Means That You Treat That Partner More Importantly Than Anyone Else
Casual sex has no commitment. Relationship sex has more commitment. Marriage sex is the highest level of commitment. Having sex with only one partner for life means that you treat that partner more importantly than anyone else. That one partner is beyond compare, your one true love, your significant other, your other half, etc.
4. You Adapt To Each Other's Sexual Needs
By being virgin on the wedding day, you start with an empty slate. School does teach sex ed, but how Tab A is inserted into Slot B is not important and not mentioned. And you do not consume pornography or sexual services, because they are not respectful of women. Thus, you have no knowledge or expectations about sex. This is a good thing. It just means you and your partner can learn from each other. Just turn off the lights, sleep in the same bed, and allow nature run its course. Somehow, the penis will find its way to the vagina; it just takes time. People come with the innate ability to be sexually aroused when they are touched intimately, and the process will escalate to full-blown intercourse.
5. You Are Setting Up A Proper Example For Your Children And Grandchildren
You are showing to your children and grandchildren that it is definitely possible to be abstinent until marriage, and that pre-marital sexual abstinence is worth the wait.
I like this. This was my original plan. But sadly it didn't work out.
0000
Fearless_bananaYoda
+1 y
Fucking bravo. Can't stand these people who sleep around. Good take OP
8440
Fearless_banana
+1 y
I wasn't srs OP
cth96190Guru
+1 y
For roughly 25 per cent of men, marrying a woman turns into celibacy. For another 25 per cent of men who marry, it is near celibacy.
1100
ShaeNielsonGuru
+1 y
Nothing short of ridiculous.
0000
Puppylove94Yoda
+1 y
I don't think a lot of those are necessarily valid points for being celibate. They are good points, but you don't have to be a virgin to do so
2000
ClauseViterYoda
+1 y
Lol what a joke. Each person is both the most valuable and the most worthless endeavor of the universe, there is absolutely no logic to commitment.
3241
TheButterflyExplorer
+1 y
wouldn't you want to try a car before you buy it? May be a lemon..
3111
The_flying_FrenchmanXper 5
+1 y
Well, I certainly see both the real and perceived benefits of abstinence.
For instance let us suppose you live in a community like Nigeria where AIDS is rampant. In that closed system abstinence until marriage can be very important to your health and the health of your children. However in 1st world countries where availability of contraceptives and medical testing is much greater, abstinence is still your best bet, but not necessary.
As far as having a religious background is concerned, adhering to your customs and beliefs on sex and marriage is important to your emotional health, but again does not apply to us unbelievers who recognize sex as a wonderful pleasure for responsible adults, provided the proper precautions are observed.
I personally find your listed reasons are typical of what a devoutly religious, and frankly ignorant individual believes about sex and marriage.
I don't mean the word ignorant as an offense, just as a description of your misunderstanding of just how simple and harmless an act of sexual passion can be given that the parties involved are mature, consensual, and not indoctrinated with undue expectations. Because let's be honest, a virgin is the only person who expects sex to any more magical than it actually is.
In reality sex is nothing if not a dissapointment for those who expect an aura of holiness to enshrine a lovemaking couple sharing their virgin marriage bed. It's sloppy, full of awkward squishing sounds and pungent smells, and at the end of the ordeal leaves you wondering what there is to watch on Netflix. a biologically ordinary and Anti-climactic endeavor I'm afraid😂
4041
Idontknowwhyy93Xper 2
+1 y
You are in for a ride awakening my friend. A rude awakening.
2000
Unit1Editor
+1 y
If sexual abstinence is really your thing, then you have every single right to feel proud of it and I won't judge you for your decision.
But when going as far as projecting others (your children and grandchildren) about it, you have crossed the lines.
3140
John_DoesntMaster
+1 y
It's not premarital sex if I never plan on marrying her in the first place.
4100
WitchKingExplorer
+1 y
Lol. 4 years too late for me 😂
3100
RationalMaleEditor
+1 y
The problem is... unless you go back to when marriage counted, no fault divorce did not exist... why abstain?
Even in church nowadays you get feminist crap about how evil men are, etc.
1230
SnatchFinderGeneralXper 5
+1 y
Women are missing out on all the nuances of this kind of sexual relationship that results from this. Including love.
0020
MaxemeisterMaster
+1 y
What if u find out that the sex sucks. Or that you were missing out.
Most people wouldn't get to the point in the relationship were marriage is discussed without having sex with their partnet. It's fine amung conservative Christians buy most of Americans would get frustrated and brake up with someone who wants to wait that long.
4200
Sabretooth
+1 y
then that's good news to the person who waits, ain't?
Jessabella
+1 y
@Sabretooth hells yeah, waiting isn't a bad thing. Then when your boyfriend or girlfriend or fiancé or husband or wife asks you how many people have you slept with you don't have to rack your brain for every single time you had sex. Granted if you are in a committed relationship and want to have sex then that's fine, but you want to be sure your relationship isn't based purely upon having sex
Sabretooth
+1 y
@Jessabella true, but not the point i was trying to make. the point i was trying to make is this: if they are unwilling to wait, that means that aren't willing to stick around to merry you, anyway. therefor, by leaving, they are doing you a favor
Show All Show Less
vidaloca
+1 y
I'm a conservative Christian and even I think sex before marriage is healthy when approached with care and thoughtfulness. But some people choose to wait, and that's just their choice. I can't stop them. The problem I have is judgey folks trying to stop me from expressing my care sexually...
flypaper
+1 y
@Sabretooth agreed!
Sabretooth
+1 y
@flypaper :)
Jessabella
+1 y
@Sabretooth I totally agree with you guys, no one should be put down for what they do sexually as long as they are happy with their choices. And if someone isn't willing to wait for you then kick them to the curb yourself.
Sabretooth
+1 y
@Jessabella agreed. Remember:Being unwilling to have sex before merriage doesn't make you a prude, only having vaginal sex does.
Jessabella
+1 y
@Sabretooth what?
Sabretooth
+1 y
@Jessabella a few people here i've met though being a virgin til marriage makes you a prude.
Jessabella
+1 y
@Sabretooth oh yeah that's ridiculous, that just means you've got something you believe in and are committed to
Sabretooth
+1 y
@Jessabella yup. you ain't gonna get respect outta me very easily, but stay a virgin til marriage is a good start.
Jessabella
+1 y
@Sabretooth just curious are you a virgin yourself?
Sabretooth
+1 y
@Jessabella yes
Jessabella
+1 y
@Sabretooth saving yourself for marriage?
Sabretooth
+1 y
@Jessabella yes, I'd kinda be hypocrite otherwise.
Jessabella
+1 y
@Sabretooth I don't think it's bad for someone to suggest to someone to wait for marriage even if they themselves aren't
Sabretooth
+1 y
@Jessabella it would cause them to be a hypocrite. Even if they mean well, it would most likely be brushed off. How can you expect others to take your own advice if YOU won't?
Jessabella
+1 y
@Sabretooth I guess that makes sense, I personally want to wait for marriage but I've sorta fallen for this guy and I don't know what to do about it
Sabretooth
+1 y
@Jessabella See where he stands. Don't make the mistake of waiting to discuss the things til after you're in a relationship. One girl on here has been with the same guy for 8 years, I personally know another girl who's been with the same boyfriend for 4 years. Also, don't sacrifice you morals or beliefs just him, either
Jessabella
+1 y
@Sabretooth the thing is we were together and right now we aren't allowed to see eachother but I want to see him again. He never would pressure me into anything and asked me like a thousand times if I was ready before he even kissed me so I'm not worried about him waiting, he also has told me he'd wait for me as long as needed. I'm more worried about me and what I might do
Sabretooth
+1 y
@Jessabella you're smart to be mindful. since you can't see each other, occupy yourself by reading the bible and meditating upon. surrounding with yourself with those of a like mind. in fact, i remember hearing a story of a girl who went through a series of woman's prisons-she occupied her time by teaching her fellow inmates about god.
Jessabella
+1 y
@Sabretooth umm I'm not exactly religious like that...
Sabretooth
+1 y
@Jessabella why not?
Jessabella
+1 y
@Sabretooth well I used to be and then I learned more in depth about the views of the church and I didn't agree with them and everyone kind of made me feel unwelcomed so I desired not to be as religious. I still believe in God but I don't follow the "rules" of any specific religion
Sabretooth
+1 y
@Jessabella true, churches do more harm then good. i've noticed that most are just interested in filling their collection plats then any real teaching.
Sabretooth
+1 y
@Jessabella but then, that's their offical job.
Jessabella
+1 y
@Sabretooth yea...
Sabretooth
+1 y
@Jessabella not to pushy, but can I recommend an organization that you might wanna check out?
Jessabella
+1 y
@Sabretooth sure what is it?
Sabretooth
+1 y
@Jessabella the jehovah's witnesses.
Jessabella
+1 y
@Sabretooth umm... ok?
Sabretooth
+1 y
@Jessabella it's a Christian organization
Jessabella
+1 y
@Sabretooth I know, but I've seen their beliefs as well and I don't agree with them all
Sabretooth
+1 y
@Jessabella which as?
Jessabella
+1 y
@Sabretooth well like the beliefs about families and stuff
Sabretooth
+1 y
@Jessabella can you be a little more specific?
Jessabella
+1 y
@Sabretooth about how they believe it should only be a man and a woman like that kind of thing
Sabretooth
+1 y
@Jessabella it wasn't god's original purpose the bible says this in plenty verses, one such verse is : Leviticus 18:22: “‘You must not lie down with a male in the same way that you lie down with a woman. It is a detestable act.. that was bible evidence that homosexuality is sinning against god- but let's look at the scientific evidence: there is no natural way a same-sex couple can create a baby. i would think that if same-sex relationships were in god's plan, then both genders would be capable of giving birth.
Jessabella
+1 y
@Sabretooth I understand that side of it but I feel like people who are with someone of the same sex shouldn't be put down for their life choice. Plus same sex couples can adopt children who don't have someone to care for them
Sabretooth
+1 y
@Jessabella we don't hate the people, we hate the practice. for example. you have a friend who was doing drugs-would you hate that person, or would you hate what they've allowed themselves to become?
Jessabella
+1 y
@Sabretooth I feel like that's not the same thing though. I just don't know how to explain it exactly
Sabretooth
+1 y
@Jessabella perhaps it's that drugs are both physically and spiritually dangerous.
Jessabella
+1 y
@Sabretooth well yeah and if you do drugs that's more your choice as opposed to being homosexual
Sabretooth
+1 y
@Jessabella yes and no. some times it's just a phase were your hormones are just fluctuating high, therefore, your attraction to the same sex is only temporary... i mean, c'mon! anyone who's been a teenager can tell ya that. but yes, homosexuality CAN be genetic as the act is sinful and we all are born from sin-a gen in itself. however, for it to take root, it must be nourished i also want you to know that as much as god might detest homosexual practices, i detest when people say it's just a phase, but in this case, same-sex desires can truly be just that.
Jessabella
+1 y
@Sabretooth I know that but I don't like when people, generally to back up their religious practices, say stuff like "look in the bible homosexuality is a sin so we shouldn't accept it" I don't like that, which is why I can't be a part of the church. I like to accept people for who they are, as long as they aren't being dangerous or harmful to themselves or those around them then I do not care if they are sinning, cause we all sin
Sabretooth
+1 y
@Jessabella i never denied that. nor does my organization. in fact, the bible even promotes acceptance: 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 Or do you not know that unrighteous people will not inherit God’s Kingdom?+ Do not be misled.* Those who are sexually immoral,*+ idolaters,+ adulterers,+ men who submit to homosexual acts,+ men who practice homosexuality,*+ 10 thieves, greedy people,+ drunkards,+ revilers,* and extortioners will not inherit God’s Kingdom.+ 11 And yet that is what some of you were. But you have been washed clean;+ you have been sanctified;+ you have been declared righteous+ in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and with the spirit of our God. there is also a difference in accepting something and partaking in in it.
Jessabella
+1 y
@Sabretooth ah I like the way you think. That's actually a great verse I'll have to remember it
Sabretooth
+1 y
@Jessabella no problem!
Sabretooth
+1 y
@Jessabella there is one that i'll never understand about churches.
Jessabella
+1 y
@Sabretooth what's that?
Sabretooth
+1 y
@Jessabella how people can mix up verses or ignore vs completely... yet still be called preachers?
stonerbonerXper 5
+1 y
Well, I don't think celibacy really effects or enhances these the way you've portrayed. Just my opinion, it's off base. And you, the author, are entitled to your opinion.
1100
HotsoupXper 4
+1 y
Ignore all these bitter people. They are just to thirsty to get laid and will never know the true value of marriage.
Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
What Girls & Guys Said
24 27I like this. This was my original plan. But sadly it didn't work out.
Fucking bravo. Can't stand these people who sleep around. Good take OP
I wasn't srs OP
For roughly 25 per cent of men, marrying a woman turns into celibacy.
For another 25 per cent of men who marry, it is near celibacy.
Nothing short of ridiculous.
I don't think a lot of those are necessarily valid points for being celibate. They are good points, but you don't have to be a virgin to do so
Lol what a joke.
Each person is both the most valuable and the most worthless endeavor of the universe, there is absolutely no logic to commitment.
wouldn't you want to try a car before you buy it? May be a lemon..
Well, I certainly see both the real and perceived benefits of abstinence.
For instance let us suppose you live in a community like Nigeria where AIDS is rampant. In that closed system abstinence until marriage can be very important to your health and the health of your children. However in 1st world countries where availability of contraceptives and medical testing is much greater, abstinence is still your best bet, but not necessary.
As far as having a religious background is concerned, adhering to your customs and beliefs on sex and marriage is important to your emotional health, but again does not apply to us unbelievers who recognize sex as a wonderful pleasure for responsible adults, provided the proper precautions are observed.
I personally find your listed reasons are typical of what a devoutly religious, and frankly ignorant individual believes about sex and marriage.
I don't mean the word ignorant as an offense, just as a description of your misunderstanding of just how simple and harmless an act of sexual passion can be given that the parties involved are mature, consensual, and not indoctrinated with undue expectations. Because let's be honest, a virgin is the only person who expects sex to any more magical than it actually is.
In reality sex is nothing if not a dissapointment for those who expect an aura of holiness to enshrine a lovemaking couple sharing their virgin marriage bed. It's sloppy, full of awkward squishing sounds and pungent smells, and at the end of the ordeal leaves you wondering what there is to watch on Netflix. a biologically ordinary and Anti-climactic endeavor I'm afraid😂
You are in for a ride awakening my friend. A rude awakening.
If sexual abstinence is really your thing, then you have every single right to feel proud of it and I won't judge you for your decision.
But when going as far as projecting others (your children and grandchildren) about it, you have crossed the lines.
It's not premarital sex if I never plan on marrying her in the first place.
Lol. 4 years too late for me 😂
The problem is... unless you go back to when marriage counted, no fault divorce did not exist... why abstain?
Even in church nowadays you get feminist crap about how evil men are, etc.
Women are missing out on all the nuances of this kind of sexual relationship that results from this. Including love.
What if u find out that the sex sucks.
Or that you were missing out.
There isn't a single benefit to abstinence
https://youtu.be/lQlIhraqL7oGood reasons i agree
Most people wouldn't get to the point in the relationship were marriage is discussed without having sex with their partnet. It's fine amung conservative Christians buy most of Americans would get frustrated and brake up with someone who wants to wait that long.
then that's good news to the person who waits, ain't?
@Sabretooth hells yeah, waiting isn't a bad thing. Then when your boyfriend or girlfriend or fiancé or husband or wife asks you how many people have you slept with you don't have to rack your brain for every single time you had sex. Granted if you are in a committed relationship and want to have sex then that's fine, but you want to be sure your relationship isn't based purely upon having sex
@Jessabella true, but not the point i was trying to make. the point i was trying to make is this: if they are unwilling to wait, that means that aren't willing to stick around to merry you, anyway. therefor, by leaving, they are doing you a favor
I'm a conservative Christian and even I think sex before marriage is healthy when approached with care and thoughtfulness. But some people choose to wait, and that's just their choice. I can't stop them. The problem I have is judgey folks trying to stop me from expressing my care sexually...
@Sabretooth agreed!
@flypaper :)
@Sabretooth I totally agree with you guys, no one should be put down for what they do sexually as long as they are happy with their choices. And if someone isn't willing to wait for you then kick them to the curb yourself.
@Jessabella agreed. Remember:Being unwilling to have sex before merriage doesn't make you a prude, only having vaginal sex does.
@Sabretooth what?
@Jessabella a few people here i've met though being a virgin til marriage makes you a prude.
@Sabretooth oh yeah that's ridiculous, that just means you've got something you believe in and are committed to
@Jessabella yup. you ain't gonna get respect outta me very easily, but stay a virgin til marriage is a good start.
@Sabretooth just curious are you a virgin yourself?
@Jessabella yes
@Sabretooth saving yourself for marriage?
@Jessabella yes, I'd kinda be hypocrite otherwise.
@Sabretooth I don't think it's bad for someone to suggest to someone to wait for marriage even if they themselves aren't
@Jessabella it would cause them to be a hypocrite. Even if they mean well, it would most likely be brushed off. How can you expect others to take your own advice if YOU won't?
@Sabretooth I guess that makes sense, I personally want to wait for marriage but I've sorta fallen for this guy and I don't know what to do about it
@Jessabella See where he stands. Don't make the mistake of waiting to discuss the things til after you're in a relationship. One girl on here has been with the same guy for 8 years, I personally know another girl who's been with the same boyfriend for 4 years. Also, don't sacrifice you morals or beliefs just him, either
@Sabretooth the thing is we were together and right now we aren't allowed to see eachother but I want to see him again. He never would pressure me into anything and asked me like a thousand times if I was ready before he even kissed me so I'm not worried about him waiting, he also has told me he'd wait for me as long as needed. I'm more worried about me and what I might do
@Jessabella you're smart to be mindful. since you can't see each other, occupy yourself by reading the bible and meditating upon. surrounding with yourself with those of a like mind. in fact, i remember hearing a story of a girl who went through a series of woman's prisons-she occupied her time by teaching her fellow inmates about god.
@Sabretooth umm I'm not exactly religious like that...
@Jessabella why not?
@Sabretooth well I used to be and then I learned more in depth about the views of the church and I didn't agree with them and everyone kind of made me feel unwelcomed so I desired not to be as religious. I still believe in God but I don't follow the "rules" of any specific religion
@Jessabella true, churches do more harm then good. i've noticed that most are just interested in filling their collection plats then any real teaching.
@Jessabella but then, that's their offical job.
@Sabretooth yea...
@Jessabella not to pushy, but can I recommend an organization that you might wanna check out?
@Sabretooth sure what is it?
@Jessabella the jehovah's witnesses.
@Sabretooth umm... ok?
@Jessabella it's a Christian organization
@Sabretooth I know, but I've seen their beliefs as well and I don't agree with them all
@Jessabella which as?
@Sabretooth well like the beliefs about families and stuff
@Jessabella can you be a little more specific?
@Sabretooth about how they believe it should only be a man and a woman like that kind of thing
@Jessabella it wasn't god's original purpose the bible says this in plenty verses, one such verse is : Leviticus 18:22: “‘You must not lie down with a male in the same way that you lie down with a woman. It is a detestable act.. that was bible evidence that homosexuality is sinning against god- but let's look at the scientific evidence: there is no natural way a same-sex couple can create a baby. i would think that if same-sex relationships were in god's plan, then both genders would be capable of giving birth.
@Sabretooth I understand that side of it but I feel like people who are with someone of the same sex shouldn't be put down for their life choice. Plus same sex couples can adopt children who don't have someone to care for them
@Jessabella we don't hate the people, we hate the practice. for example. you have a friend who was doing drugs-would you hate that person, or would you hate what they've allowed themselves to become?
@Sabretooth I feel like that's not the same thing though. I just don't know how to explain it exactly
@Jessabella perhaps it's that drugs are both physically and spiritually dangerous.
@Sabretooth well yeah and if you do drugs that's more your choice as opposed to being homosexual
@Jessabella yes and no. some times it's just a phase were your hormones are just fluctuating high, therefore, your attraction to the same sex is only temporary... i mean, c'mon! anyone who's been a teenager can tell ya that. but yes, homosexuality CAN be genetic as the act is sinful and we all are born from sin-a gen in itself. however, for it to take root, it must be nourished i also want you to know that as much as god might detest homosexual practices, i detest when people say it's just a phase, but in this case, same-sex desires can truly be just that.
@Sabretooth I know that but I don't like when people, generally to back up their religious practices, say stuff like "look in the bible homosexuality is a sin so we shouldn't accept it" I don't like that, which is why I can't be a part of the church. I like to accept people for who they are, as long as they aren't being dangerous or harmful to themselves or those around them then I do not care if they are sinning, cause we all sin
@Jessabella i never denied that. nor does my organization. in fact, the bible even promotes acceptance: 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 Or do you not know that unrighteous people will not inherit God’s Kingdom?+ Do not be misled.* Those who are sexually immoral,*+ idolaters,+ adulterers,+ men who submit to homosexual acts,+ men who practice homosexuality,*+ 10 thieves, greedy people,+ drunkards,+ revilers,* and extortioners will not inherit God’s Kingdom.+ 11 And yet that is what some of you were. But you have been washed clean;+ you have been sanctified;+ you have been declared righteous+ in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and with the spirit of our God. there is also a difference in accepting something and partaking in in it.
@Sabretooth ah I like the way you think. That's actually a great verse I'll have to remember it
@Jessabella no problem!
@Jessabella there is one that i'll never understand about churches.
@Sabretooth what's that?
@Jessabella how people can mix up verses or ignore vs completely... yet still be called preachers?
Well, I don't think celibacy really effects or enhances these the way you've portrayed. Just my opinion, it's off base. And you, the author, are entitled to your opinion.
Ignore all these bitter people. They are just to thirsty to get laid and will never know the true value of marriage.
Too*