Sexual Relationships
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Why Premarital Sex is Not Good

1.) It makes you cunning and carnal.

Why Premarital Sex is Not Good

It slowly corrupts you and turn you less humane. people like this talk about sex and dirty stuff all the time. Most of their conversation topics revolve around carnal pleasures. They are full of innuendos and have mostly such things in their minds. They hung around with like minded people and share their saucy experiences, their bf's penises, their gf's bj skills etc. They became judgmental. They look at people like meat and scan them as they enter a room. If you hang around such people they'll turn you like themselves.

2.) It makes you desensitized and makes your heart colder.

Why Premarital Sex is Not Good

Your romantic, innocent, poetic, aloof self exists only one time. It will never come back. And it is meant for your one, lifetime partner. As long you exercise your egotistical will and get heartbroken, you become cynical, your heart cold and less acceptable of love, and you see the other gender with resentment and mistrust. Even as a mere sex object after a point. Thus the phenomenon today of male and female players.

3.) It is egotistical, irresponsible and unthoughtful of others.

Why Premarital Sex is Not Good

An unborn child being aborted, your parents shocked and saddened, your teachers and mentors dissapointed. The other person being used for your selfish goals. All these people affected because its all about me, me ,me. It has the pretence and excuse of love, but it ain't true love. Cause true love is humble, it surrenders its will, and it never hurts others.

4.) It doesn't blend well with spiritual practices. (Nor does masturbation)

Why Premarital Sex is Not Good

Well don't take my word for it. Try it on your own. And i dont speak new age demonic pseudospirituality bs, but real spiritual practice like contemplative prayer.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • 1.) It makes you cunning and carnal.
    ^.. what? How is having sex without marriage any different than after marriage? You realize it's the exact same act in both cases, the only difference being the label you've applied to your relationship, yeah? I mean... I fail to see how one paper naming you husband+wife in the eyes of the law could change how humane/inhumane the exact same act is.

    2.) It makes you desensitized and makes your heart colder.
    ^lol. You realize that sex and any kind of physical intimacy is the strongest act of bonding between individuals who care for each other, no? Or do you think the fact that sex triggers a massive release of hormones such as oxytocin (also known as the cuddle hormone), amongst other thing, as purely coincidental?

    • see thats where society gets is wrong. western puritanism. its not the act itself its the energy behind it. its the spiritual condition of the persons, and the participation of God in the act. if its not a "threesome" its not blessed. God forgive my tongue. and what i mean with that is, sin is whatever happens and doesn't take God into account. we made a false dichotomy that here is spirituality which is one thing, and here the body which is another. the body can be deified as well, as happened in the incarnation of Christ.

    • The energy behind it.. so- 'god'? My boyfriend and I are both atheists so in our minds, there's no such thing. The only 'energy' behind us choosing to have sex is love+lust. It's not a concern of ours whether or not any religion which chooses to frown upon the ultimate act of love+reproduction because of a less than glorious past filled with killing thousands, if not more, of women who were deemed as mentally ill/witches because they acted upon this sexual drive that is innate and within every single human being.

    • its lust as you said. people are called for love and spirituality though. not for being at the level of animals. i was thinking exactly the same thoughts like you when i was secular. but i found out you have to give up some "freedom" to be truly free. if you are guided by your passions you are not free, if you are a master over these desires you are free.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Either you never have had sex, or something happened and you had your heart broken. The fact is that waiting until marriage is the WORST THING YOU CAN EVER DO FOR A RELATIONSHIP. Sex brings you both physically and emotionally closer like nothing else can. It makes you want to open your heart, it makes you want to share your deepest thoughts and feelings. If your being an ice princess, the guy is going to have his guard up constantly.
    I urge you to seek a therapist and work through the issues you have. A good therapist can do wonders if they are willing to push you.

    • there are no issues. the issues existed before i found Life which is Christ. i wasn't particularly hurt either. i broke more hearts, and used more people than i was used. and did it all with the pretence of "love" and "freedom" and "individuality"... .

    • so not having sex before marriage makes one mentally sick?

    • your a bible thumper. If that is what you need to live, that is great. it is really sad, but great. Any being that could create the universe, knows it is the shit and certainly doesn't need people praying to it non stop. and it sure as shit doesn't care if you suck cock or fuck...

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Thank you! I would love it if you went into more detail with this. Perhaps with actual links to back it up as well. Because this is the truth right here. It is all lust based, and it comes with serious consequences. But you also have to point out that if you already have an impure mind this is going to be the ending result. Because I noticed it as well if that person never had that mindset before they lost their virginity they turn into somebody their not supposed to be. It is in fact damaging. And I know people who had experienced that the hard way. #1 is especially true.

    • i could get in a much deeper take but the recipient audience would be only a handful... .

  • Why is it good for (other) animals and not for us humans? I've never seen two animals declare their undying love for each other before a crowd of witnesses. Why do animals NOT get married?

    • because animals don't get divorced.

    • @asdsfgag Yea, because they don't get married! If humans didn't get married then they wouldn't get divorced either, so your reply contains nothing of substance.

    • I am a human being and want to get married

  • From my stand point, none of these opinions you have make sense. Take number 1 for example, how does having sex make you less human? That makes no sense. Also, I hate to break it to you but whether people have sex or not this world has a million ways to corrupt you. Also, just because one is a virgin doesn't mean that can't have a dirty mind of want to talk about that stuff. That's more of a personality trait, then an experience thing.

    Now, let's go to number 2, I don't believe having sex makes your heart cold. I mean, there's people who get rejected everyday when they ask someone out and after enough rejections that might make your heart a little numb to it all, sex not having even been apart of that. There's a million ways to have your heart turn cold, sex isn't usually one of them.

    Now, number 3, what does someone else's sex life have to do with the rest of the world? How does that even logically make sense? I don't really get how two people in a relationship together and having sex, is unthoughtful to other people.

    No need to talk about number 4 because religion is usually people's go to reason for why you shouldn't have sex before marriage.

    Just so there's no confusion, I am a virgin. So, even not having had sex yet, I still think what you wrote is a little over the top.

    • its the narcissism cultivated and implied with it. not the deed itself. nothing happens magically.

    • Well, I still disagree. We're both entitled to our opinions, though.

    • because you come from a completely different base. as i did. now i have new eyes, new ears, and new mind. yes, bodily purity is just the cherry on the top. it all begins from the heart.

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  • Those are all opinions. Not everyone shares them. If these are things you believe, then probably not a good idea for you to practice premarital sex. Maybe not ever have sex at all is better. But not all of us feel this way. To each his own.

    • Haha no need to get inflamed, i dont say for people to abstain from sex for all their lives. Just to put it into good context. Nor do you have to wish me to never find a husband because you feel mirrored by this take... .

    • I didn't wish anything for you. It just seems like you see sex in a very negative way. So much so, you may want to avoid it. I'm not saying that's how it has to be. Just my thoughts about what you said.

    • sex is sacred and great. but only when practiced with discretion and in the right context. if people have such great libido that they can't hold themselves and its a matter of life and death. then yeah, do as you understand. but if thats not the case, self restraint pays up more in the longterm than lack thereof... .

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  • «They became judgmental» seems very much like what you did here. Sex or no sex that doesn't make you anything. Start thinking for yourself instead of buying what religion tells it's good for you. Not having sex makes you a better person? Do you give more than people who have sex? The answer is no. You must believe in God so do you really think God loves you more than a person who has sex? God has to be perfect in order to be God. God wouldn't love more one person than the other, but love every single creature he created. Enjoy life and don't worry about such trivial things like this one. Be good, make a diference by doing good, preserve our world and give more than you take. Allow yourself to love and express it when you want!

    • the point is not to not want what you want. but to transform one's self so that you want what is godly and be in allignment with the will of God. Christ didn't come here to make robots, but free spiritual people... .

  • <3 wiggling under someone you love is da bomb. com

  • The bible says its wrong and so does any other religion like Islam or Hinduism or Sikhism etc... but the reasons you gave are not the most important ones. Mainly - it leads to living for carnal reasons and not for spiritual reasons and shows a lack of commitment to the person you are involved with.

    • yeah it doesn't match a spiritual life... .

  • Nice to see a MyTake in favour of virginity. Although some of your points seem a little far, its good to point out some of the pros to being virgin in a society which pressures a lot of teens into having sex. I believe no one should be shamed either way, however, for having or not having sex, its a very personal choice. My friend has had a string of one night stands - do I think she's a really dirty whore? Absolutely not, because its her life and her body. I, on the other hand am I still a virgin for a lot of personal reasons and I really wanna wait until I meet the right guy. Should I be judged for not enjoying sex earlier? Absolutely not. My body and my choice. I've seen so many people shamed for sleeping with people, and many others (especially religious) being shamed for waiting. Why can't we stop arguing over what everyone else is doing with their bodies? Shoudl't we be focusing on what we're doing with our own? Religious individuals deserve to be able to practice their religion and its teachings, and not be told their God and beliefs are imaginary and unreal, as obviously if they felt that, they would not be practicing the faith. And it should be understood that unreligious individuals won't be practicing the values - as they don't believe them

    • Love ya Kim.. keep that between us..

  • **Why Premarital Sex Is Good**

    1. It makes you cunning and carnal
    You don't need to get married to have sex. In fact, marriage has never been (and never will be) be a pathway to sex. Premarital sex enables you to learn about your sexuality; to be in tune with your sexuality; to share good or bad experiences with others.

    2. It sensitizes and enlivens your being
    You could discover or be attuned with your romantic side, assuming if vanilla love is your kind of thing. Premarital sex can be your license to many blissful relationships. After all, variety is the spice of life. Right? You could get hurt along way to amorous blissfulness, but the experiences and the maturity you gained from those experiences are worth the risks.

    3. It is responsible and empathetic
    For the most part, premarital sex is not responsible for unwanted pregnancies and abortion as sex in marriage. Most premarital couples are responsible and empathetic.

    4. The days that religious or spiritual charlatans, zealots, and fanatics used to frighten people with false tales and unsubstantiated dogmas are long gone. People are increasingly more enlightened compared several decades ago. The link between premarital sex and the so-called why-it-is-bad are baseless.

    • People are so "enlightened" today, they go from one meaningless relationship to another until they're reduced to a piece of meat. Eventually, they're incapable of feeling anything for anyone.

      Yeah, that's a real great way to live. How many relationships last these days?

      more-sexual-partners-unhappy
      www.huffingtonpost.com/.../...riage_n_5698440.html

      no premarriage partners = less divorce
      ifstudies.org/.../

    • @I-am-a-nobody. What constitutes a "meaningless" relationship? Who defines the reductionism to "piece of meat"? Where do these constructs come from? Whose constructs should take precedence over the other? Yours, mine, his, hers, or them? There is a discipline called epistemology, which means how we come to know what we know. A fork of this discipline, says that the world around us are social constructs. That is, we award labels and meanings to things. Those same things have different labels and meanings to others. While in your surroundings relationships do not last, in other people's surroundings they do, even when both surroundings have similar proclivity to premarital sex. It begs the question, whose social construct is right? Yours or mind? As a wise person once said, there is no out there. We see the world as we are, not as it is. In other words, we came to this world as tabula rasas—like a clean slate. Sadly, your version of the world doesn't trump over mine.

    • the more premartial sex the more break ups. FACT

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  • haahahhahahah...

    It is hard to take ANYTHING an Anonymous poster puts up here!

    If you dont have the guts to post under your real name, then no one is gonna take you seriously.

    I disagree with your entire post...

    You need to take a good dose of "reality pills"...

    just my 2 cents worth...

    • well maybe ask your 9 year old self. it could have given a different answer. i know my judgment was surely clouded by my lifechoices as a secular. and i still am a secular to a great degree.

    • I dont get what you are saying.. my 9yo self? I agree with the guys on here.. I don't buy a car w/o a test drive... I know a lot of women (religious) that have told me they wish their beliefs would have let them have sex before marriage. The man they married leaves them wanting sexually and it puts a lot of pressure on their relationship. I asked them if they had gone for a Test drive before, would they marry the guy? They said, honestly, NO.. sex is an important part of the marriage relationship and if it is lacking, then problems do arise... 2 of my girlfriend are divorced now partly due to inadequate sex and the problems that came about coz they and their hubby wouldn't talk about the bedroom probs and things went worse from there in their relationship. I do have a religious upbringing, even tho I dint ask for it. God made sex a special bond between men and women, even tho He says premarital sex is a no-no. I know I would never a man unless we had sex first, many times.

    • well sure but these men ain't godly if they dont care about their women's needs. waiting till marriage is useless if we are not talking about two spiritual people with love in their hearts.

  • More virgin women. Yesss!!!
    https://giant.gfycat.com/MemorableZanyBlackbear.gif

    • not a virgin unfortuantely. impure in body, mind and soul actually.

  • i haven't ever loved anyone, but had a few one night stands. These help me realise what I like and the exploration of my body. There are many things which I know I'd like, and I'm quite sexual person anyway, if I was to wait and not have sex then I would still have to masturbate often to rid myself of these feelings. Me doing any of these things won't make me any more or less of a romantic then I ever would be.

  • Well if all of your points are correct then I am a succubus incarnate.

  • 1. Nonsense. A lot of these traits are attributed to married people, too. You are arguing against human nature.

    2. The divorce rate is ~50%. This whole notion of marrying one person forever rarely happens. It happened more in the past because divorces were essentially forbidden and women were forced to stay married to shitty men, particularly when they had no job or education.

    3. There is no true love. 'Love' is a chemical reaction in the brain. The best one can hope for is to pair up with a compatible person and see how it goes.

    4. There more than likely is no God. Religion is an attempt at controlling the lives of the more gullible. Pure indoctrination.

    The reality is that getting married and starting a family isn't a smart thing to do until people are financially stable. That generally doesn't happen for people until their late 20's or later. People generally don't want to wait until then to start having sex and sexual compatibility is an important aspect of any real relationship.

    I don't really understand the desire to be socially conservative. Why push your views on others when they aren't hurting anything? You have the freedom to do what you want and live life how you want and never even look at a penis until you are wearing a wedding ring, but leave everyone else the fuck alone.

  • Can it, does it make you cunning, and carnal? Can it or does it make your heart desensitized?

    • Can it, or does it*

  • I feel all your arguments are very exaggerated and use a lot of hyperbole (excluding you final point).

    Simply having sex before marriage hasn't and never will bring down my moral values or my romantic/poetic side. You stated such things would happen, but never stated any factual/ or any reasoning behind it. It's like saying "humans will become extinct", but not elaborate as to how. You wrote a paper without research/evidence..

    I'm all for seeing different perspectives of an argument, but when the argument is weak from one side, I don't see how the debate could have any use. I also don't see how that weaker side could ever win the debate.

    • not much of a hyperbole. its the story of most young people's lives. mine included. these happen to subtle degrees and with time.

    • I respect your experience, but I feel as though you took your own personal experience and decided that it must be universal because it happened to you. This Take reminds me somewhat of people who claim that all musicians are alcoholics or drug addicts or all Christians are xenophobic. The truth is, the human experience is different for everyone. The pursuit of spirituality is also different for everyone. Most people do not fit tidily into a box and most experiences cannot be applied universally.

    • @asheslee but you latched on to one of the points I made. What about the evidence part to all this psychology, etc? What's the proof this happens to most people? I just can't exactly give the mytake my respect without anything factual behind it.

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  • I want to have sex within marriage but I do pratice masturbation sometimes (Oh the shame) I agree with most of what you have said though.

    • its just i found it doesn't work from experience. my contmplative prayer is crap when i carnally sin. the grace can't mix with impurities... .

    • @myTakeOwner. I understand what you are saying. Well all have sinned and fell short of the glory of God. Romans 3-23. We are in need of his Grace.. which we dont deserve. Human-ing is hard.

    • Masturbation isn't wrong. Only if it's from lust or watching pornography. But letting out your desires is completely healthy and okay, especially if you consent with the Lord and give your desires fully to Him. <3

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  • I bet you're glad you're on Anonymous. You're a biased asshole, though. And although you are posting a 'My Take', you have no right to judge others based on you being a prude. You have no right to make others feel bad based on your own belief.

  • 1. Totally true. Plotting sex takes a scheming mind. Especially if you are trying to hide it from anyone else for literally any reason. Of course, most of my siblings and I were already conniving schemers long before any of us got bold enough to try sex with anyone at all. So the damage was already done years earlier. My folks would often try to get freebies behind each other's backs one one thing or another, and they inadvertently taught us how to be really good at scheming to get our way.

    2. Frequent betrayal by bad friends, who would often take it to the extreme, had already made me jaded long before I met the girl who got me to agree to go to the bedroom with her. Frequent rejection and abuse from peers all through my school years also hardened me. It was only after the breakup with the gal that I began to realize how hard I had become, and desired to change.

    3. One of the reasons I stuck around with the gal I've mentioned above as long as I did, is because I did feel more for her than just the carnal and raw. I also had a strong sense of responsibility. You don't make an investment unless you're willing to nurture that investment. I stayed with her a while, even when things started getting rough, because I wanted to be responsible.

    4. Masturbation is just a way to put out a fire, before you burn someone else. Unless you actively seek it out. Then, that implies something else is wrong.

  • Lol. "They become judgemental"
    So glad to hear that non sexual people aren't judgmental. It's just us cold, desensitized, egotistical, unthoughtful, carnal sinners.
    How bout this? Live and let live.
    Lol.

    • i've been the worst egotistical unthoughful carnal sinner before i found the truth. you dont have to make the same mistakes i did... .

    • OP You should do the same too. Live and let live. I am abstinent and against female promiscuity. Now let me live

    • @asdsfgag Go. Live. Enjoy your own life.

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