Why Some Guys Think That Initial Physical Attraction is a One Way Street

Almost every day I see guys on here, social media and in real life who sadly don't understand how physical attraction works. I always see questions asking "Are all women bisexual or lesbians?" or "Why don't women find men physically attractive?" I'll be answering those questions here. They are also guys who still believe that all those fictional romance movies depict real life physical attraction. Sadly, initial physical attraction so far appears to be a one way street. It appears to work only for males.

Read this bold text carefully before you read the take. I can assure you that I have not been asking those anonymous questions, I am not posting this take as a stress reliever to release my frustration with this subject, I am simply trying to help out the guys that are stressed by this subject.

Why Some Guys Think That Initial Physical Attraction is a One Way Street

1.) Men are very visual

After months living in denial, I think I have to accept that women aren't visual. This means women are not going to get sexually aroused just by looking at a partially clothed random man. I wish women were visual but too much indications say otherwise.

Why Some Guys Think That Initial Physical Attraction is a One Way Street

2.) Study after study implies women aren't visual

After reading these studies, I'm currently more that convinced women aren't visual. This means they don't instantly find men physically attractive.https://www.netnanny.com/learn-center/article/165/

Why Some Guys Think That Initial Physical Attraction is a One Way Street

3.) There are exceptions

I know a lot of people will say "but women are visual" well, unfortunately they are the exceptions. https://www.google.com/amp/www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/5-myths-about-female-desire%3famp Which means that visual women are rare and that they might lose their visual nature as they get older.

Why Some Guys Think That Initial Physical Attraction is a One Way Street

4.) The proof is all around you

Why is it that us guys love looking at those advertisements of partially clothed women yet women don't like looking at partially clothed men? Why is it that commercials always show men checking out random women? Why is it that men always compliment women on their appearance on social media and on here by saying "You are so gorgeous" yet all women say to a guy's appearance is "you look good"? Why is it that there are social media pages with partially clothed women that cater to men but no social media pages with partially clothed men that cater to women? The only social media page that caters to women is a Facebook page called "Lady B%ners" but it doesn't even show partially clothed men, all it shows is men dressed in fancy clothing. Usually when a guy posts on the "how do I look?" Section, he'll rarely get any responses or female users will only say "You look good" but they'll never say "Oh my, you are so sexy!"

Why Some Guys Think That Initial Physical Attraction is a One Way Street

5.) Mutual attraction is very rare

While it's real, it's very rare. I personally view Mutual attraction as when two people feel attracted to each other's looks. It's rare because visual women are rare unfortunately.

Why Some Guys Think That Initial Physical Attraction is a One Way Street

6.) Are straight women real?

Yes they are but since radical liberalism is currently mainstream, people make it seem like straight women are rare. However, straight women are still common; you just have to move to a very conservative area to meet 100% straight women but even then, it's not guaranteed you'll find a visual one.

Why Some Guys Think That Initial Physical Attraction is a One Way Street

7.) Addressing the major worry

A lot of guys wonder if all women are either bisexual or lesbians. That's not easy to answer but I'll tell you this, no but... Ever since that infamous study got published on the web http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/11977121/Women-are-either-bisexual-or-gay-but-never-straight.html , it's sparked controversy and many debates. It even angered many people. People always like to think that it's some kind of male fantasy but it's not. It's the fear that women aren't attracted to men. The same men who are disappointed that women aren't visual hate the thought that women don't find men attractive. The other issue here is that a lot of "straight" women believe that the female body is more "aesthetically appealing" implying that men are hideous. If a "straight" woman says that women are more aesthetically appealing than men, then chances are she's still in the closet(no offense). Also, a lot of women are said to watch lesbian porn but they claim to watch it because it's more "passionate" and less aggressive than gay male porn.

Why Some Guys Think That Initial Physical Attraction is a One Way Street

8.) Not as visual?

Perhaps all women are in fact visual but they are just not as visual as men are. However, this appears to be too good to be true. Since women never openly admit how hot a guy looks. Who knows, maybe women are just pressured by societal norms to not show their true feelings. https://source.wustl.edu/2006/06/erotic-images-elicit-strong-response-from-brain-2/

Why Some Guys Think That Initial Physical Attraction is a One Way Street

9.) Women still feel attracted to men

Even though women don't instantly lust after a "handsome male" they still feel attraction to them based on their looks because that's the sex they are attracted to. For example, while a man might be able to have lustful thoughts(if he wants to have those thought) when looking at a gorgeous woman, a woman won't be able to feel the same way when looking at a handsome man but will still feel attracted to him in the same way a man looks at a gorgeous woman without lust.

10.) What do you mean by so far physical attraction is a one way street?

I mean that the human brain still isn't fully understood. It can be argued that experts aren't on the human brain aren't even close to completely understanding the human brain. Even though a lot of studies imply that visual physical attraction only works one way(for males only) these studies could be proven wrong one day by newer studies. However, for now it's mostly accepted and almost certain that only men experience physical attraction/visual stimulation at first sight.

Why Some Guys Think That Initial Physical Attraction is a One Way Street

11.) How do I find a visual woman?

If you are like me in which you are only interested in visual women, then you'll have to have a handsome face, a nice body and have good fashion. Then you'll have to pay attention and see if random women in public continue to glance at you. If they smile while glancing at you it's a hint that they are interested in you.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, I'll have to actually agree with the guy in the first video with what he said, even as a dude. I can't say mutual attraction is rare per se, but it is different, since it takes a different approach to arouse a woman, other than another man's body.

    Women will check out guys. I definitely agree with that.. they find men attractive. Though a man's personality is really what gets them attached, because that's what they care much more about. In a way, you must appeal to her emotions in some way in order for her to develop some form of adoration.

    I think that when visually unappealing men date more visually appealing women, he's actually forming an attachement for the same reason (him appealing to her emotions), because he has a personality that matches what she needs.

    • Ty for the MHO

Most Helpful Girl

  • i've only gotten more visual with age. i choose my lovers VERY carefully based on their looks.

    • thank you

    • You're welcome.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • While there are a few things here I still disagree with, I will avoid nitpicking this time to commend this great improvement you've made in accepting that women as a whole are not visual and I want to encourage you to further understand the fundamental differences between men and women. Now that you've accepted women aren't visual, you can start learning about what it means to be auditory and how to actually turn a woman on, draw her interest, and better understand what to expect from a woman in a relationship

    Most women who are visual are lesbian or bi (from my experience, not sure if it's been scientifically proven or not). I have a male co-worker who compliments my ass almost everyday because he is an extremely visual guy and can't help himself. But today one of my lesbian co-workers gave me the exact same compliment about how my ass looks in the pants I wore today and yesterday. (And I caught the two of them talking about my ass later lol). When straight women compliment my clothes, it's usually about my necklaces, a cute shirt, soft or Lacey fabric, my hair clips and bows, and generally things that make me look cute, pretty, or feminine in general. Most of the time lesbian and bi women compliment me on my boobs, or ass. Straight women only bring up the subject for comparisons ad to admit jealousy. Everyone compliments me on my hair, smile, and glasses, so there is a bit of crossover when it comes to looking at my face and not my body

    I know a few straight only girls who are visual, but they're sluts, cheat on their boyfriends, and are terrible in relationships because they only care about looks, don't care much about personality, and don't respect relationships because all they want is sex. (Most visual women I know also have Daddy issues). So that's what you're getting into with a visual heterosexual woman. This viewpoint isn't popular on this site in particular, so you'll find most visual straight women will disagree with me on this one. (Nobody wants to admit they sleep around, cheat, or have Daddy issues)

    • I'll be honest I'm still a little bit skeptical that women aren't "visual" but I don't know if "visual" means what I think it means. Obviously, a woman's genitalia works different so it takes much longer for women to experience sexual arousal. If being "visual" means being instantly sexually aroused then yes you are right, women are not visual. However if you mean visual as in not being able to feel regular attraction to a man based in his looks then I'm not so sure about that.

    • "Visual" means being sexually aroused by images. Women are "auditory" and sexually aroused by sound, stories, and emotion Women can be attracted to a man based on his looks, but most won't sleep with one or necessarily want to be in a relationship, especially not if he has a bad personality or attitude and most girls who sleep with guys for looks don't want anything permanent. For example, one of my visual bi friends who's in an open relationship was sleeping with a guy we met at a concert (he was in a band) and she was really attracted to him and loved the sex, but didn't like his personality and didn't want anything long term with him nor would she have broken up with her boyfriend for him. She's one of those people who wants sex from strangers, but she still has her boyfriend at home and doesn't want anything serious with the other guys even though they're more attractive and better at sex than her boyfriend because he has the best personality for her

    • "Women can be attracted to men based on his looks" So you mean women aren't "as" visual.

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  • lololol @the only 'evidence' to support your claims are sad excuses for studies done by tabloids.

    • Trust me, I wish I was wrong but these are scientific studies that have been conducted.

    • LOOOOOOOL thanks for the laugh with posting these joke studies.

    • I actually wish they were wrong. So if you can prove them wrong, then go ahead and prove them wrong.

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  • I am glad that you have come to the conclusion that women are not as visually stimulated as males and that this is just their nature.

    I worry about your number 11 and that you are only interested in visual women. I would remind you of the old adage, be careful what you wish for. You may find that the women that are attracted to men visually are not the women that you want to be with. lol!

    But regardless, I see that you now acknowledge women's sexuality is not the same as a male's and that is progress. And I am glad for that. :)

    • Even though women aren't visually stimulated, women can still be attracted to a man's physical appearance.

    • Yes; I agree with you. I have never disagreed with you about that. However, are you OK if a woman can not separate physical versus mental attraction to you? And just finds you "attractive" though she can not claim it is on physical attraction alone?

    • As long as she is still physically attracted to me, I'd still consider dating her.

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  • Yeah, tabloid studies don't prove anything. This is what people need to understand when they delve into studies: they focus on a core group and can be manufactured to show favorable results to gain esteem for the practicing party's name, and secondly they only focus on a group of people.

    You know what men like this need to do? To stop obsessing over how women operate and stop telling us how we think and feel - women need to do the same in a vice versa situation. This obsession people have is how you miss out on those "rare" women, because you're so busy fucking obsessing over how her mind operates that you fail to realize she's perfectly attracted to you. If this whole "women aren't attracted to men it's all personality" claim was true, then why aren't there hot women running around with gap-toothed, overweight dudes who have amazing personalities?

    Women are attracted to men. The only fundamental difference I notice is that women are less likely to be sexually ready to fuck a guy at face value, which comes from our natural selectiveness and social conditioning. But if you meet any girl, most have never dated a man they didn't find attractive physically, myself included. Hell as soon as I saw my current boyfriend I was instantly physically into him.

    Can we just, go back to the days where men and women being into each other was sufficient? This is literally how people turn into 40 year old virgin hermits.

    • Didn't mean to rant, lol, good to see you took the time to explain this all at least. Good work.

    • Another thing real quick though - in alternative studies this whole arousal test has been heavily challenged. Apparently a similar test was done showing women images of monkeys having sex and they had similar responses, scientists concluded that this "arousal" response is more of a physical reaction to seeing sex, and that it isn't actually the same as having a desire to have sex. It was linked to me a long ass time ago and I don't remember what it's called but I'm sure you could find it if you looked into it.

    • Too bad I can only like this once.

  • Not quite. Women ARE visual, we're just not sexually excited by average male body parts simply because they're male. Men seem to be sexually aroused by exposed boobs/butts/vaginas in and of themselves, even if they belong to a woman they don't find attractive. For example, a woman isn't going to want to see the penis of a man whose face and overall body she doesn't find attractive, even if it's big. Men, however, can enjoy looking at a pair of big boobs while simultaneously insulting the looks of the woman they belong to. This is why men are always trying to get nudes but women don't want dick picks.
    Long story short, I think that for most women, attraction to men is physical but more holistic. It has nothing to do with being gay or not visually attracted to men. Women are just a little more selective when it comes to sex and sexual arousal.
    If women don't find you physically attractive, sorry but it's probably because you're not physically attractive. That doesn't mean you are doomed to be forever alone or anything, it's just a fact.

    • @fabulouspancakes A lot of women have called me "good looking" but I didn't think they were being sincere.

    • Why don't you think they were being sincere?

    • I just find it unusual for a woman to be complimenting a man in his physical appearance. I always assumed that it was the guy who is supposed to compliment women on their physical appearance.

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  • Almost any man gets turn on by the flesh of any woman... lol ok where's your citations on that one. Moohaha we rule the world! Man if only all women were on the same page we could conquer and divide >:D but no I don't think it's just instinct, it's also lust and being in a hypersexualised society that has sexual imagery/talk in movies, shows, music videos thrown at us 24/7. God said the flesh is weak and that we will fall into temptation and sin over it, that's why people can't control themselves.

    • That's only if we choose to be turned on. Most men can control their arousal.

  • We are visual in the sense that when we like you, we start to vision our wedding dress, how we will feed you and what our children will look like. That is probably why we are not as sexually visual as dudes, our minds are occupied with other fantasies.

    But the take is right, we are to an extent visual just not as intense as guys and it probably wears off quickly after we see a ripped body. I am a pervy girl and I am not afraid to type dirty things to a guy, but most of it is just talk because I don't log off to touch myself, that doesn't mean I don't want to eat him up.

    I think our need for physical contact and emotional connection might leave us greedy, and so we don't bother if we can't have it how we want it.
    At least that's it for me when I like a guy and try to think about him while I play, it doesn't work. So I watch porn and do it or relax and do it the way I usually get my climax, but we want you men, stop obsessing over this topic, our attraction to you is just different and hard to explain.

    • So you don't like how men look?

    • Yes but not in the way you love how we look. You're still sexy and strong to us. Stop overthinking it. I cannot understand how you get aroused by nice legs and you don't get why we find you sexy, but baby, we do... just not in the way we appeal to you.

    • In what way do women find men attractive? Even if it is impossible to explain, can you try to explain it?

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  • I think the issue here isn't so much about "visuality" but ease-to-arousal in general.

    There was a book *A Billion Wicked Thoughts* that examined the porn & romance industry, and a million web searches, and concluded that men can be sexually aroused by one cue, whereas women generally need multiple cues.

    That one cue is often visual for men because the visual is the most easily stimulated sense, but can be stimulated by other senses too - smell, touch (apparently some men even get aroused just by brushing against a woman etc), etc.

    Whereas women need more of a combination of different cues. Hence the multiple cues involved in romance novels, resulting in romance novels being so popular among women.
    But notice something: none of the male protagonists in romance novels are ugly. So women still do prefer attractive men, but for 75% of women, it's not *enough* to cause arousal.

    Women are more likely to orgasm with attractive men: www.cosmopolitan.com/.../
    because attractive men DO arouse women more than unattractive men, as long as they also have other qualities.

    • Yeah I agree. Which h is probably a good thing since we carry babies. That means we select the best partners we can. That way children with better genes are born.

  • I like your take! Although I think there are exceptions to everything, there's truth to what you're saying. I, for example, have a huge crush on a guy who I didn't find physically attractive AT FIRST. Often a guy's personality is what brings a woman around, and then she may consider him the best-looking man alive!

    • I don't know if she'll consider him good looking. I don't know if non visual women can actually be attracted to men or if it's just a emotional bond. It wouldn't make sense for a woman to find a man ugly and then find him "hot" after knowing him for a while.

    • Ugly to hot maybe not I suppose. But when I saw my crush for the first time, his appearance inspired no more than a "meh" from me. But now I can't imagine a more adorable man. And even when I see good-looking guys, my mind immediately wanders back to him!

    • How's that even possible. Is it just a illusion?

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  • Men and women are different. Our evolutionary history and our priorities with regards to passing on our genes are different, because our biology is different.
    Men look for healthy genetics from women to birth their children, so we evolved visual attraction to markers of good health and ability to birth healthy children. Wide hips, facial symmetry etc.
    Women look for ability to protect and provide, so ample size (tall) and large build, and good provider which translates into men with power and influence who command respect or have authority.

    Obviously there's some outliars in any distribution, some women can be extremely visually stimulated, but on the average there's a measurable difference.

  • Physical attraction isn't a one way street the few times I've gotten hit on I turn the guys down since I don't find them attractive physically. I can't help but lament with my looks I will never get a hot guy and will have to settle. I lusted after a few guys on first sight and hated it since it ramp up my social anxiety a ton. I have a very healthy appreciation for the male physique. Women find men physically attraction all the time. We may not be as visual as men but we are definitely visual to an extant. Openly gawking is very rude and would make me look desperate so I don't. Also how dare you I love looking at underwear models.

  • I remember thinking that I came to the realisation that women were not visual when I used to think they were just like men.

    My opinion has kinda reversed now. It's a bit tricky, sometimes visual is far more important than compared to a man. Women would watch a movie with terrible reviews if the actor is hot or vote for a president (justin trudeiu) because they find them attractive on that entire basis. Whereas it would be difficult for a man to do the reverse.

  • Cool story bro

  • All I'm going to say here is that the attraction cues for men and women are different, in terms of the weighting eg physical attractiveness is more important as an initial cue for men, than for women. It doesn't follow that it has NO importance to women.

    People who can't see that are in denial.

  • Yea im kinda tired of it, we think some guys are cute and good looking everyone just have different tastes. So when guys think we dont like them they're kinda right we just like diff guys and not them in particular, that doesn't mean we dont like any

  • Stopped reading at 6, because what you stated is just dumb. "You have to move to a conservative area to find 100% straight women" ? Bruh. I'm straight. I know many other straight women. I live in the Netherlands, which is basically home of the gays (or used to be) and definitely not conservative.

    Also, who defines straight or gay? Some people say being a-okay with kissing people of the same gender is still straight, and even on that there are double standards on genders (women kissing is ok but not men etc) but others claim that is being bi or even gay.

    • I'm moderate leaning towards libertarian and conservative but you left out the part where I said they most likely won't be visual.

    • Women aren't aroused by the male body in and of itself but are aroused by lesbian porn... so yeah not straight.

    • @Markfish uhm.. wrong again. Women are aroused by ACTIONS rather than just pictures like men. Women are aroused ENTIRELY DIFFERENT than men, which is why you fail to comprehend it. Lesbian porn focuses on the women and the pleasure of women only, instead of male pleasure. That’s why many women like it.

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  • It's true!! So sorry guys. I wish I was more visual, but sadly I can't change it.

    • If you can't be attracted to a guys looks alone you aren't straight as you aren't sexually attracted to gender specific traits.

    • @bekkesmash I am attracted to guys and their looks but i won't get aroused just by looking at them.

    • If you don't desire sex by looks alone you aren't sexually attracted to gender specific traits and thus can't be considered heterosexual.

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  • I think lots of guys are gorgeous, but if I said to a guy, "You're gorgeous" he'd be embarrassed and probably think I was some kind of crazed stalker.

    Trust me, I'm watching bods in the gym. Discreetly.

    Now I don't get instantly aroused the way men do. That's true.

    I also know I'm like a 2 on the hotness scale so there's no point in letting myself get interested or excited cuz that guy with the totally amazing pecs wil look right past me like I was part of the furniture.

    Good thing I'm too old to care.

  • Sure it makes sense. Which is why looks can easily drop to second place. First place is stability and financial security. I bet that goes further for an average guy vs a broke good looking guy

    I can't even count how many average guys get the girl because he is strong on the first criteria, stability and financial strength

  • I think the visual attraction of men gets overestimated. I personally don't want sex with every woman. Especially if I find out that she has had a lot of partners, it does turn me off. So just because I'm visual, doesn't mean I necessarily want sex with you because you have a great body. For me there has to be a connection.

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