Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
I'm not writing this to insult the asker or shame her in any way. This is also not meant as an attack.
The asker in question wrote this. And when girls say things like "I dated a lot of bad guys and I had enough, now I want a good guy" I can only take it as insult.
A lot of us "nice guys" (as an aside, this term is toxic as hell; The implication nowadays is that a "nice guy" is just a dude befriending you for sex) have to wait a long, long time before women our age finally sober up.
Basically, while you're out partying with "Jamal" and having a good time, we are holding a steady job and being mostly alone, because we aren't "bad" or "cool" enough. Meaning we actually cared, we actually wanted to be romantic and good to you, but of course, that wasn't exciting enough.
And then, after years or months of you having your fun and your fill with the bad boys we get the older, weary you as second helpings. We were the 10th choice (after you get exasperated with bad boys), or the 20th... the whatever we are the last in line, because we are stable, nice, loving and caring. Something it takes you years of dating to figure out you really wanted.
And MOST of us nice guys waited so long for a mate of any kind we succumb and simply accept this, that we will always be the thousandth fiddle to whatever fun wild flings you had, that we never got to experience because of the nature of our lives versus yours, and you reap the rewards of a stable lover and a life of fun and wild times.
While we get what? A tired burnt out lady seeking stability? As I said I'm not here to insult you, or shame you, or any of these things. I'm here to point out the injustice of this, and hope women see it.
I'm not one of the nice guys that call you slut or a "cum dumpster" because you had plenty of sex with the bad boys. No. Some of the guys here writing takes about "Nice Guys" are telling you a truth you need to hear but they are going about it the wrong way. Insulting you will not get you to listen to them. I'll try to explain it to you without the insults and vitriol.
What you need to understand is that these nice guys you passed over, who in many cases are no longer acting like nice guys anymore, are human beings just like anyone else. For years they have tried to get your attention and be the kind of guy they thought you wanted, and had to sit back and watch while you passed them by and turned your own attention to guys that they felt did not deserve you. They had to sit at home alone and make love to their socks while you went off and had wild sexual adventures with jerks and assholes.
Over time this made them bitter and this made them look at you differently. You were no longer this sweet girl that they wanted to treat as their princess, you were just another chick who wanted nothing to do with them and instead gave attention and her body to the same two or three top dogs that all the other girls were trying to get with.
Then, after all of those lonely years, they hear you saying:
"Well, that ride was fun, but now it's over so I'm willing to grace you with my presence now".
How are these guys supposed to react? "Well I'm glad you had fun and don't worry about all those years I've been sitting here by myself waiting for you"? It doesn't work like that. Just as you are no longer the girl who rejected them for all those years, they are no longer that nice guy that you passed over. The fact that they are now either bitter lonely guys who want nothing to do with you, or they have actually improved themselves and make a life of their own to just not wanting to settle with a girl that has been all used up by the bad boys.Your rejection of them is a big part of the reason they are like this now.
There's no going back now. You can't "unfuck" all those guys who ended up treating you wrong, you can't "reverse" all the emotional baggage you took for all those years, and they can't get back all those lonely nights they spent pining over the person they thought you were. It's a sad ending but that's the reality for girls who do this and for guys who were worth having. Eventually you'll most likely find a guy who will swallow his pride and pretend he's OK with your past and probably end up letting you walk all over him in the hopes that his acquiescence will get you to stick around....but will you even really want that guy?
Talking for myself, I've seen many questions and myTakes of girls explaining why they no longer want the bad boy and why there are no good guys left, but spend barely a paragraph on why a nice guy should be interested in them.
While you were partying or crying over being stood up, nice guys were writing you poems, trying asking girls on dates that may never happen or ended up badly, going to church (religious guys), volunteering to charity, visiting and helping seniors, working hard and advancing their careers and probably finding a nice girl that does the same along the way. Much like how you realized that bad boys aren't worth the effort, nice guys learn that women like yourself are best to be avoided as well.
What Girls & Guys Said
33 64Why does it have to be an 'either/or' decision? You'd be surprised by how many nice guys would love to be in a relationship with a woman who openly dates and fucks other guys, even if she's not letting you have intercourse with her. I know that's a bit extreme, but it's more common than most people think.
Whenever I hear the word nice, I usually associate it with the person being nice for a reason. Therefore, not really nice just out of the blues.
No one does anything for free after all. Off course the ''nice guys'' in your post turned bitter when the woman goes after the jerks; they weren't just looking for platonic friendships but to have sex later on (whether in a casual date, in a friends with benefits type, in a relationship or waiting till marriage... still involves sex either way).
Off course my ideal would be badass, brave type similar to Steve Irwin but with a kind heart if you get what I mean. He wouldn't be fitting neither bad nor nice... rather a good, productive man.
Crikey he's getting grumpy and ''oh you're alright mate, you're alright'' Funny guy... he's missed
I don't want a " bad guy" but if a man smokes he's not bad. I don't want a " nice guy " either because I'm aware that I'm not super nice there is more to a person than being nice I want a man that has a great character and ambition who's personality fits mine. When a guy is too nice he kinda gets irritating also don't try to be the guy you thought she wanted because if you were that guy she would have chose you. If a guy is nice and good looking I might not be interested he might be boring or something.
Alright, i just wanna be clear since your paragraph is a bit confusing. You say a guy isn't bad, just because he smokes. Makes sense, i smoke and drink, i dont think odlf myself as a bad person. Know many other guys that do too. The rest i understand too, exept for the last part. "If a guy is nice and good looking I might not be interested he might be boring or something." This part. Now im sure you didn't mean you would prefer nice and awkward/bad looking. Cuz you know, that would still be boring minus good looks. Im thinking not nice, and good looking. As in you want a good looking bad guy. Kinda different from what you said at the beginning, where doing soecific things doesn't make you "bad". You are 18, so maybe you haven't had enough experience to make an abdolute statement, so let me tell you, you dont want a bad guy, good looking or otherwise. No girl ever came out of a relationship with an abusive guy , looking like she didn't regret it.
@lord_chilled I'm just sating that not because a guy is " nice " means that he can't be boring and yes I will always want a man that I find attractive
And you are saying , your attraction is based on good looking, bad men? You do realize that there's more than just two groups of bad, and nice, right? Most people fall somewhere in between, so just because a guy isn't bad, doesn't mean he is nice, and if a guy is nice most of the time, that doesn't mean he can't be bad
Does this only apply to specific girls that ignored you? Or are you not interested in all girls that ran with bad boys? If the later, how do you know what they did in their past?
I grew up in small town. But in general it is very easy to tell with social media today, and most importantly talking with these girls while presenting yourself as "open minded" and not interested in commitment they'll tell you stuff they wouldn't normally would
So you wouldn't date any girl that used to be that way?
I dunno, man. Let's say I was a "bad boy" when I was younger. What makes you better than me?
It doesn't make anyone better. If you were an "exciting" guy and girls were after you then cool but I don't want those girls who would have rejected me in my high school days looking for me now that I'm much better off
I got in trouble a lot in school. It kinda sounds like you think you & "nice guys" like you are/were better than the "bad boys" (God I hate saying that). You imply they didn't have jobs, they they aren't good citizens, they don't go to church, etc. So I guess my problem with your take is that you manage to insult both women and other men with your extremely narrow and frankly unrealistic view of the world. It's like your'e saying "you didn't want me then but I'm better now so GTFO", which is great and all but there's in implicit part that says "... because I wasn't like those other guys when I was younger".
Never said anything of what you are implying I said. Though some girls go after men that treat them like shit, I'm not saying all "bad boys" do. This isn't about anything you implied it was about
Did you read what I wrote? I'm the one claiming you implied things. I didn't imply you implied things - I straight out said it ;)
Read the take again the
Good idea. "While you were partying or crying over being stood up, nice guys were writing you poems, trying asking girls on dates that may never happen or ended up badly, going to church (religious guys), volunteering to charity, visiting and helping seniors, working hard and advancing their careers and probably finding a nice girl that does the same along the way. Much like how you realized that bad boys aren't worth the effort, nice guys learn that women like yourself are best to be avoided as well." Now tell me how that doesn't imply you're better than other dudes.
Did you mistreated girls in high school/college that you are taking this personal? lol Guys who mistreated those girls, made them cry and stood them up aren't the epitome of good people, but I'm not implying I'm better than those guys. Quite frankly those guys were beyond their time at least when it came knowing female nature. In retrospect, girls who put up with that crap aren't worth it now years later. I'm much better off without those girls that ignored me for those guys. That's the whole point of it, and none of it is implied but outright said.
Well, this ought to be good...
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Oh boo hoo. You don’t have the balls to approach and now you complain about bad boys. Just like all the whiny little men that went before you, you only prove to me you are not dating material, you lack balls and whine.
Lol dang, girl. You do have a point though.
@Hispanic-Cool-Guy ya. Sometimes you just gotta spit it out.
Your only 17 years old. You haven't seen anything yet, but don't worry you will.
@Tw1nm3t3or can people stop comparing age with experience?
uhhh age comes with experience, thus the comment.
@Tw1nm3t3or it doesn’t. I’ve enough experience to last a lifetime because of previous experiences in early life.
Early life? You haven't even started yours yet!!! Maybe this is why people whine and complain and lack "balls" to ask people out because of your "I have enough experience to last a lifetime and all men lack balls regardless of the horrifying crap they deal with" attitude. You're absolutely correct nobody has the balls to approach women who had a few bad experiences and suddenly, AGE SEVENTEEN, they THINK they know everything. I'm sorry but reality check this just gets 10 times as worse once you hit your early 20s either if you want to accept it or not. The quicker you understand that the easier you will have it. You DO NOT and WILL NOT at 17 YEARS OF AGE begin to even understand the entire situation regardless of what you think. You'll begin to understand why people whine and complain once you ACTUALLY deal with a REAL thing, not something out of high school or even middle school but after that. Its a whole different world out there and something you've not ANY idea of yet.
@Tw1nm3t3or i already finished high school, but, k. I’m not going to waste my time responding to some bloke ranting about something idgaf about. YOUR opinion is not fact, so.
Actually it is you delusional brat
Men are not marrying anymore, just the simps are.
www.foxnews.com/.../why-men-wont-marry.html
There is a way to get even with them. I did this one time.
A 45yo or so hottie (cheerleader type) contacted me on a dating site. Her profile had a picture of her and her college age daughter. She is the type that never would have considered me when I was younger. I responded, "I am not interested, but you can introduce me to your daughter."
Fortunately, there are some young women who are mature enough to pick a good guy. They are the ones not dating boys their age.
Both my exes were good boys who turned out to be horrible people. I still can't believe that these are the same studios sincere disciplined boys who are worshipped by their teachers, peers and family.
At this point, by seeing a guy from outside I can no more tell who is good and who is bad. And to me, good and bad isn't about your habits and such but rather how you are as a person.
I'm sorry that you had bad experiences but its the same thing as for guys who date seemingly nice girls but turn out otherwise. Take your time to know them better, and I'm not punching down on you, I am just trying to point towards a guideline. Take your time to know the person, use yourself and your time as a litmus taste. Take your time and don't give in physically until you are 300% sure. If he is there for you irrespective of physical involvement being on the table or not, thats your cue that he isn't going to as bad as your priors, don't be standoffish, but be a friend, let things take their pace, the ones that don't stick around weren't/aren't worth anyways.
@TheFriendlyOne I get it and I can't blame guys
You can definitely blame those two for being shitty people and ruining it for other nice guys Feel free to blame them 😊
@TheFriendlyOne ah ok :)
What about the other way around, guys who slept with lots of cheap women and now want a high value girl to have kids with? What’s your stance on that?
Hypocrites. And that is the type of men women generally go for.
- that's the same as all you guys who want to go around fucking all the girls and then settle down with a virgin or some 'submissive foreign girl'
- maybe it's just you looking over all the nice girls and going straight for the hot ones. It's the same damn thing
- so women are no longer allowed to change their type?
- did you even let the girls know you were into them, or did you just stare at them from afar and throw all those poems in the trash without her ever seeing them?
- people change as they get older. The same way you no longer want the party girls is the same way they no longer want the bad boys
- maybe the bad boys are actually really nice. Are you sure you're actually a nice guy or do you just think you are?
Every girl goes through that phase it seems
But then they get treated like second tier gf's lol... then decide that the good guy was the right guy hahah
Problem is, it's most often cause of looks... the bad boy isn't just a little bad he most often looks good too
I agree except the nice guy part. Nice guys or bad guys were never part of the game women play. Every single guy out there need to realize this fact quick.
The whole reason she wants the bad boys is for adventures. The life she never had or wanted but she wanted to try it out anyway. She wants to break the rules a bit. Test out the waters. She never wanted to marry the guy.
A woman can want a man because of his looks, wealth or power or at least the potential. The bad boys deal is never about what a woman.
The guys also need to realize relationship is like a trade deal. You do not want to negotiate at a weaken position. You have something she wants and she has something you want. You need to look at her as the whole package, not just how desperate you are at getting her.
Well, when your not that good yourself, a bad boy don’t look like a bad boy, he just another man
I honestly feel you are overthinking it - People generally change their "Types" if they have any as they go through life so my view is I can't change the past only the present and the future - I try to respond to the person as they are now so say a connection develops and we discuss our histories, it may or may not effect me, I will just see how I feel at the time but I definitely don't enter into it with pre conditions.
I don't see how you can take it personally.
It makes me think of those girls who get upset at guys for treating her as just an "option". If she's not his FIRST choice, then she won't be his "sloppy seconds". Lol, it's stupid. I mean I could understand emotionally if you went after a girl. Had a love triangle with her and another guy, then she goes on to choose him over you. If she comes back around after he cheats on her or something. Then I get it that you wouldn't want her if she came back around to you, because it didn't workout with the other guy and your pride is still a little hurt.
But even then, there's no reason to take it personally. It makes more sense to move on and maintain your pride. Taking it as an insult is being too caught up in your ego. It's not even love anyways.
Women like the "bad boys" for their physical attractiveness, fun factor and their confidence, not because they are 'bad'!
This is why the genuinely good guys of the world, instead of bitching in their teens and 20s about "girls liking bad boys"...
...
... need to do their best to be as attractive, fun, and confident as possible.
But complaining is easier and less time consuming!
Goodtake. I don't know about the nice guy part writing poems and songs to whoo women who only want bad guys but I do know that if I spend years working hard to build myself up to being successful in life by the time I'm thirty well I'm not going to want the women my age that turned me down for bad boy types instead I'm going to look for a younger hotter women with more to offer. Why would I want a thirty year old woman with the thousand cock stare after her spending years on the cock riding carousel just because she's through with bad boys and wants to settle down now that she's hit the wall.
Sounds like you chase fuck girls.