Would a man get sad if he finds out he can't ever father a child?

Question

If for whatever reason (medical condition, low sperm count, sperm deformity, etc) he's permanently infertile, is that sad for him too?

Years ago I remembered another dude was trying to cheer his friend by telling he hook up with all the women he wants to and added along the lines: ''Look at the bright side bro, no girl can then claim pregnancy, no paternity fraud nor child support from you. Besides you don't want marriage. Be happy''

The guy just silently replied with a ''oh, ok, yeah'' and excused himself. His expression definitely wasn't of happiness at all. I wonder whatever happened to him. We know how we would react if we can't ever give birth. How about if he finds out he can't ever get any women pregnant, is it sadness for him too?

SlashedSunset · Accepted Answer

I would be devastated if I couldn't father children of my own.

I never went through a phase of disliking girls or the idea of kids even as a kid. That has been one consistent dream of mine since I was really young. That I wanted to be a loving husband and father and bring happiness and hope into their lives anyway I could. That beautiful future picture warms my heart something bright.

So to receive news like that. Well I don't know that just might be enough to do me in. I always try to stay positive and kind-hearted but something like that just might make me directionless in a mist of numbness. I suppose though the fire in my heart might dim as a result I could find new reason to reignite it if I had a woman who loved me to help me through it and if not then I would have to stoke its flames myself and find kids to adopt so I may raise them with love as my own.

I say this now but if I were to get news like that I don't know how well I could take it. Hopefully when I reach that particular horizon things will go well and I will be able to overcome any challenge that life places within my gaze. So as you can see I might have thought about this to some extent XD

ohshee · Accepted Answer

Speak for myself and the answer to that question would be yes and that's because and the love and the passion that I have not only in children but in life and wanting to take a empty vessel and create something very beautiful very positive and it will be an asset to this world I would still do anything in this world to find a way to have a child if that has happened to me thank God it didn't because I have two of the most beautiful wonderful kids in the world

MrOracle · Answer

it's really going to depend on whether having kids was important to him or not. For some men, having kids is REALLY important and such news would be absolutely devastating. Some absolutely do not want kids and would be completely fine. And some may not be sure, and could be fine or they could be really upset or somewhere in between.

meetkitty123 · Answer

I know such a man. Its is more painful than the English or any languages dictionaries could ever describe. there's no words for this.
😞🥺😭 The news crushed us both but I have no doubt he was worst for it. I so wanted to carry him his baby. Our attempts failed and then we discovered why. A test showed He can't. I can't explain it but I feel guilty. like I let him down.

NamerOfStars · Answer

For many, yes. People ofter ignore it, but many men, too, want kids; we wouldn't have lasted long as a species if half of us didn't. Also, many women do (and more of them tend to be upfront about it, at least in my experience), and most won't be willing to settle for adopting if they're fertile and you're not, so you lose out on potential partnerships, too.

Boromir · Answer

I would… Being able (using it or not) is part of my male identity. I can be asked to impregnate a loving partner and create new life, yeah, that’s something I cherish and take pride in.

Horror_lover92 · Answer

My boyfriend feels like he can't have any, even though he acts like he doesn't care, I can tell and even his mom can tell that it bothers him, due to his disability.

Berethor · Answer

Guys tend to care about that less than girls, but yea a guy might be sad because of that.

slatyb · Answer

Depends on whether he wanted to have children.

Slartybartfast · Answer

Sure, when I hit 30 and decided to give up dating it made me very sad to know I'll never be a dad.

Fireguy17 · Answer

Not sad, but it was not easy to have a long term relationship when I was younger.
I would let my partner know once things got serious after I found out.
Some said that they were fine with it, at least at first, but then their friends were having kids, and the motherhood urge kicked in.
I totally understood.
So I just stopped dating, or looking for a long term relationship because I knew what the results would be.
As I got older it was much easier as most women already had kids and either didn't want to have anymore, or were "fixed".
I did lose one relationship that haunts me to this day.
I still have feelings for her even now, but we have both moved on.
We were dating, everything seemed fine and then she just stopped.
It wasn't until many years later that I found out that she thought I wanted to have kids, and that she had her tunes tied after her last child.
She didn't know that I couldn't and I was fine with it.
I've always wondered what would have happened if we both knew.
I did have sex a lot, but it was the 70s and 80s, so hook ups were pretty common.
As it would turn out when I got married a few years ago, my wife couldn't have had kids either.
We were both too old at that point, but what were the odds of that happening.
I never had that drive to be a father, maybe that's why.

snackthatsmilesback · Answer

Yeah I would be very sad. I wanted kids since I was 2 and got a baby sister. Obviously that has changed reasons and level or priority over time, but it always stayed something I wanted to do at some point when I could do it good. That's like saying you can't ever have an S/O. Big hopeful future relationship, boom gone. No chance. That would suck ass.

exitseven · Answer

I had surgery to repair a crushed urethra when I was 19. I was not sure that I would be able to have children. I really was not too broken up about it but I guess I was happy when my wife got pregnant.

DarkWinterNights · Answer

I had some issues a number of years back and found out I have a fairly easy to fix condition that can lead to infertility. Life got away from me and I never went back in to correct it. I wonder if ill get that news someday.

Hellodownthere · Answer

Most guys are sad about it yeah. Myself I never wanted to be a father. Don't know why but it's not something I ever felt the need to do. There are young people who work for me who see me as a father figure type. That's fine. But my own kids? No thanks.

Reaper1985 · Answer

for the guys who desire to be a father they likely would be sad over the news. for the guys who don't desire to be a father they likely would be happy over the news. since they could sleep around and not have to worry about unplanned pregnancy. however depending on what caused him to be infertile can also effect his sex drive to some degree.

imagine it's similar for girls in some regards really.

Redstang88 · Answer

I’d be ecstatic, hate kids so so no risk would be great 👌

CloudMassacre · Answer

I would be relieved, but I’m getting a vasectomy anyway here in the next few years, I’m saving up for it

genericname85 · Answer

surely he'd be very sad to find out late in a relationship that he built together with a woman that he was hoping to have a child with. not so much, if that was clear from the get go.

one1wild00 · Answer

I'd class myself as useless, I was born and raised to have kids.

LigmaBallsack · Answer

I would be devastated

Jamie05rhs · Answer

You'd think a dude would be thrilled to hear news like that.

Would a man get sad if he finds out he can't ever father a child?

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