Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health Like does it hurt to go some days, weeks, months, years without sex or are you quite content? Do you stay distracted by partaking in other sexual activities like oral, sexting, masturbation, etc? Or do you just focus on work/school/hobbies and manage quite well? Or are you saving yourself for marriage?
—MY ANSWER—
If i have sex outside of marriage, i end up feeling religious guilt and struggle to stay sexually active. So what helps me get by instead is occasionally having my tits sucked or getting fingered or having phone sex. I honestly need to be mentally and aurally (not orally) stimulated as well as emotionally attached rather than physically. I dont even like to masturbate myself. So the struggle isn't too real to withhold from sex as long as i partake in the mental stimulation.
I work like 7-6p most of the time and then i watch shows 7-10p daily, so thats also a good distraction. I don't know the sex itself doesn't cross my mind as much. I do love to joke dirtily and discuss sexual things but I think my sex drive is quite low UNLESS im legit having sex. When i start, i struggle to stop. And i hate that feeling. I hate feeling addicted outside of being married. Once im married, then of course I won't mind doing him all day, every day.
#FeelFreeToList #TheStruggleIsReal #ThereReallyIsNoStruggle
Would/Do you struggle if not sexually active for a while or is it quite easy to distract yourself?
DizzyDesii Editor
1 8
What Girls & Guys Said
14 53I don't have sex anyway, so not an issue or struggle for me.
Oh I can absolutely distract myself. I'll have aches and desires, but I have enough self control for myself and enough shit to do to otherwise occupy my time and energy.
Yea im pretty good at self control too unless the tip of the dick is legit rubbing against my clit 😂 Then all i see is red
Lol do you succumb?
I suck and cum alright
Lol. Long as you enjoy yourself hon, do as thou wilt
When I was between relationships, it was more loneliness. Hooking up at a club gave me sex but left me feeling empty. I have other interests (that involve gasoline). I also tended to attend Warbird air shows, visit Civil War and Revolutionary War sites and Cherokee sites and events. Lots of photos. I may have 20,000 in my computer.
Lol i have over 40,000 in my phone haha
The FBI knows that, thanks to the Justice Department. :-D
JILL is always there for me when I need a helping hand. ^^
Hahaha
Masturbate. I would get lonely without some form of intimacy (oral and sexting both count).
I would not call it a struggle but I miss it after a few days.
I understand
😎😎😎😎😎
I'm to tired from my job most of the time to even really think about it to be honest.
Makes sense
Mhmm.
I had a discussion many years back where I made the statement that sex is an addiction. Without it or as a virgin the desire isn't as pressing as if you were having it regularly and stopped.
I was never doing it regularly. I would skip many days and weeks and sometimes months when in a relationship with those two. So it made it easier for me to resist
I get horny, terribly horny.
Lol i bet
When you feel like that, call a boy like me 😉
My ex turned out to be the lowest quality sex there can be, so I'm inactive for 2 years now because I have a slight fear that I pick shitty again and it could be worse
I did fall for a lady last year but I deny myself the possibility to ask her out bc, well my ex did wreck my psych pretty hard
And I was always bit inteoverted
Dont let one bad apple spoil the whole bunch
Unfortunately, I think I've been struggling with staying away from a few known sites because it's soo easy to find someone wanting to sext.. and I'm really not sure if it's a fetish orrr wut , but I still want to interact with someone, be it sexting or in person... for some guys not busting every now and then.. you might get more frequent... pop ups... and they stick around for a sec..( that sucks)
Yea thats why i dont hookup cause thats about all it is
If I didn't know how to keep myself distracted I would have died of boredom long ago.
Hahaha i understand
I'm a virgin, so no, I don't feel the urge to have sex :)
I masturbate, but not often. I think I can control my sex drive, which is good, because I don't have a need it to be high, if I am single.
Thats really good
Thank you Desii
I struggle if I go over a month without porn. It's not so much physically addictive as it is psychologically. It's hard knowing that women exist (as the beautiful creatures they are) and yet wondering if I will ever have one of my own to be in a relationship with.
Sorry if this offends anyone.
Why would this offend anyone? And yea porn used to be addicting but i fought that off a long while now so its easier for me. I've gone about 2 weeks now without porn and everytime i go to watchh it, i get distracted by a phone call lol
Feel the same bro
Thanks
I'm happy I have never tried porn lol.
@Cubus I'm happy for you as well. Please keep it that way. It's a very bad habit and should be avoided at all costs.
I just never felt the need to try it. And I'm happy. I heard it makes a mess of people's brain.
@jamie05rhs Is porn really that addictive? I've never tried it either and it's probably a good idea I don't.
@Cherry234 It definitely is for single people. And yeah, please don't. It's not worth it.
My porn addiction was worse when in a relationship because i was never satisfied. He couldve been the best guy in bed, but i wanted more and i knew he had to rest. Im not the begging type so i instead watched porn while he slept. I felt awful but i did it anyways. After a while, i put porn aside and forced myself to go to sleep. But i wasn't satisfied. Im an energizer bunny
@DizzyDesii Oh. Well, I guess that's where self-control comes into play. And trust. You have to trust the other person enough to believe that they're going to still be there tomorrow. (Which is why marriage is best for sexual relationships because it's a permanent commitment. You KNOW that they've chosen you and they're not going anywhere and they're always going to be there for you.)
Yea but for me this has nothing to do with him being there. If anything, i didn't wanna be there because i want more sex then he could give. When i have sex, i have an unhealthy addiction and its just best i save it for marriage or else be single. Becausd if i was not religious and more into hookup culture (which im not), i’d be fucking as many guys as i could to satisfy me. I have to be in physical pain after sex to stop having sex. Its just a weird side effect of mine
@DizzyDesii If he can't give you what you want, he's not the one. Call me weird, but my personal opinion is that "equally yoked" means more than just both people being Christians.
Well this was 2018. So im not worried about him now. And he wasn't the one for nonsexual reasons. And in this case, im the problem because im never sexually satisfied unless im pounded to the point where i can't walk for the remainder of the day.
Pro tip: If they're going to be "not the one" for nonsexual reasons, it's best finding that out before having sex with them. 😉
And no; you're not the problem!! You're a wonderful sexual being and that's the way God made you! 🧡
Well he was seemingly perfect before the sex. We dated 2 years and didn't have sex until after ayear and a half of waiting. However, when he thought i was pregnant, his true colors showed. So i feel i knew him well enough not to need a pro tip
The tips are for the future, Desi. For the future. 🙂 And if he was married to you, I don't think he would have cared if you were pregnant or not. (Just think about it! 💚 )
No he wouldve cared. He turned out not to want kids until after so many years of being married. He wanted time with just me
@DizzyDesii "He turned out to...". That's why you talk about these things.
And we did. Like im trying not to get frustrated with you. Do you really think i dated a mf for 2 years not thinking he wanted kids? His bitchass lied and said he did. Then after a year and a half of dating, he got sex and got to brag about losing his virginity. But that ended when he thought i was pregnant, so his true colors showed and he admitted that he had actually said whatever he had to say to date me and keep me and that he didn't want to lose me. So the point you're not seeing is that I fell for a pathological liar and i shouldn't have to keep Explaining myself for some bullshit he did
Ohhhhhhhhh. Okay. Well, you know for the future not to trust a man's word and let him have sex with you. Because he could be lying.
Yea i know i need to walk away from this conversation
I pretty good if I am not have sex and try to distract myself with work or find ways to keep my mind and hands busy. During my not November challenge I succeed but after halfway I started getting anxious and stressed out but since my determination and will I was able to do it. Can't say the same for my friend with benefits who was wanting to take the challenge she couldn't last a week.
Haha not even a week
She has a very high sex drive I guess.
At first it was a struggle. Now I can go a week or two before I need to take care of it
Thats good
I find it very difficult to go without for a while. My wife’s in China, and I’ve been stuck in the UK for 9 weeks now.
The sex I do get is bad enough that I honestly prefer jerking off
Lmaooo
Maybe you find it hard to masterbate cuz of watching sexy images in away that seems wrong to you as sex therapist say we should learn proper masterbating is fine an that we should do this when ere not in a relationship most guys do that an sex therapist say we can lose our sex drive completely of we can't learn to take care of our needs
Nah its not hard to masturbate. I just dont care to
Oh okay
I have a really high sex drive, always been this way.
Though, i like to be in a long term relationship so i don't just hookup and never have.
So in a way it's like also saving myself for marriage but not totally. Enaugh to be dating this person seriously with the intent to marry.
After i got fit, about 20, the longest i was single was like a week so no real issue. Before that yeah, lets just say there's a reason why i can do one arm pullups with ease🥲😅
Hahaha