Sexual Relationships
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You are not a slut. You are not a whore.

You are not a slut. You are not a whore.

~ ~ ~ ~

Though I have only been on this site for a short time.. I've seen so many girls asking questions like, "Am I a slut?" or "Does this make a huge skank?". It is so sad that women are meant to feel that they cannot embrace their sexuality and have fun.

I know this sounds like the ranting of the feminists that people (unfortunatly) make fun of or get annoyed by.. but guess what?

I. Don't. Care.

Attention to men that judge women like this:

How would you feel if one day you woke up and suddenly you were so overly sexualized that you felt ashamed to even admit who you've slept with? Every day women are treated like objects and fuck toys and yet when they willingly and happily embrace their sexual experiences, they are shamed into submission? Think about that the next time you call someone a whore.

Attention to the women who judge other women like this:

There is plenty that I can say to you. But I'll keep it short. Women already get enough shit from men. Shaming other women will not make a better and more desirable person. Let's try to love and care for each other as much as humanly possible.

Attention to the women who have labeled themselves this way:

You are not alone. I have felt those shameful emotions and embarassing moments and I want you to know that there is ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with having as much sex as you desire. Just remember to be safe and know your limits.

Please take note of this. You don't have to agree with me.. just keep it in mind.

xx

3 2

Most Helpful Girl

  • Wait, if women are treated as fuck toys, that's bad.
    But if they act like fuck toys, that's ok? :/

    I won't shame you. I won't point to you and yell you're a slut. I'm not invested in you emotionally, even if I was I wouldn't dislike you, I don't think you need my condemnation, nor am I threatened by you.

    But I won't lie to you either. You ARE a slut.
    A slut is a promiscuous woman who freely shares her sexuality with men.

    And I also won't tell you it's good. It's absolutely not good at all!
    You're hurting your body and exposing yourself to disease. You're hurting your future partner (if you have one) by destroying his reputation and pride as a man. What you do reflects on him since he chose you as a partner. And the worst a man can hear is: "Yeah, most guys here fucked your girl."

    This is not a free-for all. Your sexuality is receiving, passive, inviting. No matter how politically correct you try to spin it, in bed as a woman you are "taken". And if any man can "have" you, you're not worth that much, are you?

    Female emotions don't allow her to fuck so easily. There has to be a soul crushing, numbing level of detachment first. Without exception, all sluts I know were trying to cure some psychological burden. There is nothing liberating, healthy, happy, or even womanly for that matter in being a slut. There's lust, disease and emotional numbness.

    I don't think you're a lesser human and I certainly don't hate you and wish you ill things in life. On the contrary.

    But don't lie to other girls. This is not a good path at all.

    • I was waiting for you to get your hands on thiz L's one :p

    • Damn phone lol

    • are you sure you are a 21 y. o. girl and not a 90 y. o. guru meditating on the top of a mountain giving advice with riddles or something? it's true that something is broken/missing in these people... .

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Most Helpful Guy

  • There is nothing wrong with enjoying sex.

    There is something wrong with hooking up.

    Women who hookup with a new guy every week are sluts, insecure about themselves that they feel the need to be validated a random stranger

    Men who hookup with a new woman every week are manwhores, buying into the idea of a false masculinity that defines that the more women he's slept with, the more of a man he is

    Both live a very risky, unsafe lifestyle based on pure physical urges and using someone to satisfy these urges, instead of just using their damn hands.

    I had girl say say that despite how much of a gentleman I am, despite the dates I took her on which she enjoyed, she would prefer to sleep around because the "sex is good"

    Not to generalize because I know member on here who I get along with very well will say I am (you know who you are :p), but if this is the mindset of a majority of women in 21st century democratic free world, I don't want any part of it.

    You don't care? Great! Good for you. Sleep around all you want, good luck finding a guy that will consider you stable girlfriend/material.

    I certainly dont

    • amen dude

    • Very true.

    • Once again hitting the nail right on the head

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I agree. The word slut and whore is what happens when you live in a world that has always been based around "values". Slut-shaming a woman is stupid, because sex is a natural thing for humans. Humans love sex because it feels good. Being punished for doing something that is completely natural, pleasurable and isn't resulting in anybody getting hurt is completely foolish and idiotic.

    There is not a damn thing wrong with having consensual, protected sex with someone just for the hell of it. Labeling a woman a slut for having sex is no different from a woman labeling a man a "pussy" or "less of a man" for showing a hint of weakness (men don't cry) or emotion.

    Female promiscuity has always been looked down upon, so society created words like "slut" and "whore" to shame women in an attempt to control such behavior. If there is one sure fire way to shame and belittle a person/group or a particular behaviour all you have to do is create a derogatory term and label that action or person as such.

    • do you know why "values" were established? it wasn't because we like to delay pleasure form ourselves. but because if you do live a life of sex then you increase your risk of dangerous stds, so values were created as such. basic values like wash your hands before you eat, and dont call people names. its not to be polite but its for your own good. and men are looked down upon too if they can't control their own dicks. stop being brainwashed into believing these people are victims

    • Values that were placed on sex has nothing to do with STDs. The knowledge of STDs didn't come about until the late 1800s when they were originally referred to as venereal disease. Sex being seen as taboo is something that has been in our society for thousands of years, even dating back before the bible was created. So you can't blame Sex = Taboo because of diseases. Also I'm not being brainwash. Being brainwash would be me saying something natural is bad, because society has reinforced the idea that it is bad for 2000+ years without no solid evidence on WHY it is such. @therussianconcussion

    • THANK YOU

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  • Its sad we live in a society thats labeling women as objects who can't control themselves because of something as obeselete as sex and the words whore and slut.

    I mean honeslty if you look around, i mean really look around, not all women are this way and from where i stand i bet most of the people who judged, either have been judged or are superficialy arrogant enough to think of themselves on top of everyone else in society.

    Also i do agree that us men have been very aggresive in terms of labeling of and mistreating women. We talk a good game of why girls always go to the bad boys" when we are really all "good guys" who are looking for a honest relationship, and not just for "sex".

    We basically live in a world where its hipocrite vs hipocrite, and lets see who lies better with a mask on.

    Honestly if you have an opinion on certain just keep it to yourself, dont go all over social media and sites posting unecesary comments to get attention you clearly need. If you need attention so badly why dont yoy just go out there and socialize and make friends instead of giving yourself and others around you a bad image. Likeus guys for example.

    And finally, everyone and i mean everyone likes sex. Dont give me that oh thats a thing of the devil speach because you're as invalid as your comment. And if you're of to start branding women as whores and sluts why dont you just do the world a favor and log off we dont need people like you in here its crowded enough as it is.

  • It's such a huge and glaring male double standard, that when a man has lots of sex he's a "stud", or is "experienced", when if a girl does the same she's a "skank", or worse. When all that's really happening is that the general male psyche is being threatened by a sexy, wild empowered female, enjoying her body just like many men do with their own bodies. Apparently, men seem to think they alone should be "worldly", and any women who deviate from this bent view should be attacked. Funny then, that men are paradoxically and hypocritically wanting their women to be skilled lovers.

    • Sex is far easier to get for women, this is because of simple reproductive fitness dynamics. As in a man can knock up 5 women in a day, but a women can only get knocked up once in 9 months, so you only need a small percentage of men to knock up all the women. This makes men more sexually driven and women more selective. A man will need a lot going for him to have the same potential sexual success as the average women. This is why male promiscuity is celebrated (because it's hard to do) while a women will just be considered a slut (because all she needs to do is open her legs). A man also doesn't know if a child is his while a women will always know, thus a promiscuous women is subconsciously seen as a risk that a man will waste his time and resources raising someone else's genes, it is a risk to male reproductive fitness. Also women don't need to be skilled lovers, our orgasm is very easy to reach.

    • "When all that's really happening is that the general male psyche is being threatened by a sexy, wild empowered female" Well, as man, you should know that isn't true, and complete bullshit...

    • @amphet11 We're not living in the Stone Age anymore. With things like birth control available in modern times women no longer have to worry about getting pregnant if they don't want to. People strive for gender equality nowadays - why shouldn't women be allowed to have sex with multiple partners like men, as long as they're safe?

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  • good for you.

  • I agree with you 100%. I believe that a women's sexuality should not define them as a person. I personally haven't been with more than two men. However, I know a lot of my close friends/family whom have been with multiple different men. What I don't understand is why a man is looked at as a God when he sleeps with a bunch of random "fuck and chuck" women but when women do the same thing, everyone considers them skanky and repulsive. There will never be such things like equality, especially when it comes to sexual encounters. I've heard plenty of men and women sex shaming females who are virgins as well. Its all pathetic if you ask me. Its one thing to consider someone a slut. Its a complete different story to call that female out of it and bash her to your friends and/or social media because you want attention. People will never understand the struggle. I have two children with the same man, whom I've been with since I was 17 (I am now 21). Yet, people still feel the need to call me a whore because I have two young children. People will always be judgmental, no matter what you say or do. Everyone needs a reason to hate.

    • And I realize most people will judge me based off my opinion as well. Oh well, honestly. I don't believe that any one person is better than another. Girls sex shame women more than men do. And men and women both are just as bad as each other (for the most part). I'm not saying I believe it is okay for anyone to sleep around, because it is wrong. Not only are you risking your reputation (which causes problems later on in life) but you're risking your body as well. Sleeping around comes with many cnsequences and I think both men and women should value themselves more than that. However, I don't think its right for anybody to judge another based off anything. Especially where its not their business to be worrying about.

    • The number one reason, a man is not considered a slut whore. Is that a man will never wake up one morning, with a life growing inside of him. Second reason, most men can separate sex from love and have sex with a woman for years and feel the need to nest. Most women, can not do this. The real truth of the matter is, it is not men that set the social standards as to what is acceptable behavior. It is you women that do, it is you women that label each other sluts and whores to try and make each other less desirable to a limited male pool. The thing that women have conditioned their sons to accept, since humans started to live in groups together. Is that everything that goes wrong in females society, is the mans fault. No matter what, it is.

    • Its equally everyone's fault.

  • Very well said! I totally agree!

    For some stupid reason reason I thought the double standard had been killed off in the 60's. Sickens me to see it alive and well and as virulent as ever a full half century later. My hat's off to you Ms lafemme.

  • Who cares, just do what you want to do and do it safely. Anyone's sexual exploits are no ones business but your own- I've cut people out of my life because of their judgements and I feel so much better for doing so. It's disappointing in this day and age so much weight is placed on sex, whereas decades ago I'm sure it was much less of issue.

  • I think you are misunderstanding. You know how you say it's women's bodies let them do what they want and sleep around all they want? That is fine. Just don't be upset when many men say "It's my body I will do with it as I want, and I don't want to risk my body to a woman who keeps sleeping around."

    It is not judgment, it is a choice about who they share their bodies with. Yes, that's right in a truly equal society, even men get a choice.

    • it's not about whether or not man wants to be with a woman who sleeps around. i'm not for the spreading of STDS (people should always be cautious and wear protection). i understand that if a guy doesn't want to date someone of that nature (that's their choice). but what i don't like is the constant use of the terms that women (who are allowed to enjoy the same natural pleasure of sex as men) feel ashamed.

    • Yea, that is what many are saying, they are saying they don't want to be with a woman who has slept around, in common vernacular a "slut." Why is that "shaming"? Its not it is an opinion. I guess some women are just upset that many men have that opinion.

  • A-fucking-men :)

    • Was that a pun? xD

    • @AleDeEurope a slight play on words perhaps :)

    • @GirlScoutsRevenge https://laouras.tumblr.com/post/119405812099#notes

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  • OMG preach it!

    • BUT! I think it's totally fine for a guy to judge a woman based on her sexual history. It's his opinion. If he wants to say she's easy, cheap, unweddable and low. Provided he would have the same views if it were another man he was judging.

  • I don't feel shameful about my sexual desire. I just don't let everyone know my business so then they can't call me a slut.

  • Slut and whore sleeps with many guys - for fun or for money - no matter the gender...
    So yes, sluts and whores definitely exist.

    • but by definition, sluts and whores are women. those words belittle women who embrace their sexuality/promiscuity. they do not belittle men who sleep around.

    • They do in my eyes. And in the eyes of everyone who has normal moral standards. A whore or a slut - isn't reserved only for the female sex. It's for the men too.

    • Exactly. They're called manwhores.

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  • Well okay. Think before you sleep.

    • As an Asian its mo surprise youd disagree.

    • @tenofthepeaks - what a farkin stereotype. O_O

  • Man whores are also frowned upon. In fact when I say I want to be a man whore (which is impossible now anyway) it's gets labelled as disgusting, it player or douche, whatever. Prostitutes are just so much more easier and logical for a guy.

  • Basically you're saying that because some idiots treats you as fuck toys and some other blame you for your stupidity it is alright to be stupid? I do think something is missing in your reasoning.

    It is not wrong to assume your sexuality but what's the point if you can't bear the consequences? If you're stupid you will be called dumb or retard if you're racist you will be called well... racist. If you let your desire get the best of you and sleep with a lot of man you will be called a slut or a white because that's what is happening.

    Our society created concept like love and respect because it isn't right to sleep with whoever you feel attracted to. Thosé are needed concept in order to maintain things like families and such. You can't change it and shouldn't want to change it at all.

    • you're ignoring the fact that there's no male equivalent to the word slut for women. And, let's assume from your incredibly judgmental first sentence that all of your sexual partners are PhD scholars. She is saying that it's ok for girls to have meaningless sex with someone who's not your boyfriend/husband if they want to so how exactly are they toys in a scenario where they want the same thing as the man? And for comparing sexual promiscuity to racism? Really? "Our society created concept like love and respect because it isn't right to sleep with whoever you feel attracted to." This sentence I can't deal with. Our society didn't create love. I'm assuming you meant marriage. I would agree society needs concepts like marriage in order to maintain things like families and such so that fathers and mothers aren't cheating on each other. She, however, isn't talking about married women. She's definitely only talking about single girls. She is not advocating cheating.

    • You're trying to create comparisons with premises that make no sense and hoping that nobody will notice. Women sleeping around doesn't equate to women cheating and breaking concepts like love and respect. Sure, it is giving women the opportunity to have sex for other reasons than love and respect, but it is not advocating breaking those concepts if they are in place within a relationship. Every single thing you write has glaring problems that you hope will go away by the power of your will not to see them. Not the case.

    • @pavlove There's a slut equivalent in most language. If that part is annoying you I feel like you should complain about English not about the concept surrounding our world. You're wrong my sexual partners were mostly people I had feelings for but I also had sex for the hell of it when I felt sad or angry or that I just felt like it. it still doesn't make it right in anyway though. It's about, as mentionned, respect for your own body... If everyone in my room is Ok with smoking does it make smoking Ok? Obviously not, I am not respectful of my health and am giving in to a desire destroying this very own concept. As said meaningless sex destroy the concept of self respect and love which makes it a bad thing that shouldn't be labelled as Ok. I do not think it is hard to understand even if I don't have enough time to make my point perfectly clear.

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  • I really dislike that word "slut". I don't think anyone deserves to be called that.

    • It's awful isn't it, it's a word that makes me bristle because it generally means the person saying it is a judgmental asshat who has to resort to name calling.

    • I just think when you peel back the layers there's feelings and emotions behind why people do what they do and it definitely can't be summed up callously as she's a "slut".

  • This was a great take, thank you for writing it. To the guys saying they want nothing to do with a 'slut' romantically. I don't think the girl would give a crap whether you want her or not.

    • Hahaha! Brilliant, so true. I'm sure they couldn't give less of a fuck.

  • Gender doesn't play into this equation. If you sleep around with a ton of people with no regard for anyone but yourself, whore.

  • I'd like to be overly sexualized! And I'd like to have slept with someone...

  • I remember I used to think like you, but then, I fell in love... Then suddenly it mattered

    it mattered that my potential future wife and mother of my kids would have accumulated 10 000 miles of dicks in her vagina.

    Girls who refuse to accept these obvious facts in society will have fun for the time their body and appearance allows them to. Then, when they will be seeking a companion to join them for the remaining time of their life, they will be alone...

    Only an either naive, or a fool, or a desperate man, would consider keeping a genuine slut for a serious relationship. They're great for casual sex, but that's about it. There is no reason for us to treat as more than a cum bucket (sorry for being so crude), a woman that behaves like a cum bucket.

    Women are free to become ladies, or whores. But don't expect to get the benefits of being lady (being dating material) while acting like a whore. Can't have your cake and eat it too.

    So once you have chosen your path (be a whore or not?) you have to face the consequences. That's all.

    • Dating matetial is morecthan just who people have slpet with.

    • It's not about who she slept with. It's about the mentality and absence of some values (such as discipline, restraint, a collective mind) and the hedonist lifestyle their pursue that is incompatible with a serious relationship, especially one that it lead to more than just dating --> Marriage or Kids. A person that was mentally ok with having such "personal pleasure focused" lifestyle is probably not prepared to take a U turn to be serious, and most people won't take a chance on them anyway. Too risky. Not worth it. Sluts put their selfish pleasure before anything else, including concepts such as "moral" which they would discuss and try to discredit. Morals that you are supposed to teach your kids later on... Why would you want to be with someone like that. Why would you want your wife and mother of your kids to be a slut? You wouldn't. And I'm not even gonna talk about her pussy being potentially radioactive, if you catch my

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