Considering sleeping with a guy who has a girlfriend...

[MiiHelp]

Now I know I'm going to get some "you're a slut" and "how could you comments", but here I go asking anyways and hoping you can take this serious... I'm 21 years old, I've only had sex with one guy who was my only boyfriend whom I was with for 3 years. The guy I'm going to talk about has a girlfriend (they've been together for almost 3 years) and she lives 3 hrs away from us. I've known this guy(he's 22 now) since I was small, but we didn't start talking/hanging out till I was 16. Me and this guy would hang out sometimes and we always had a thing for each other. The most we ever did was hold hands and flirt. We lost communication because I stopped hanging out with my friends and etc. A couple weeks ago we found each other on facebook and we started talking. He msged me and we ended up hanging out. Since then, he calls me and texts me. The other day he came out saying that he thought I was so pretty that it amazed him and that he wanted to kiss me, one thing led to another and the topic of sex came up. He wants to meet up and have sex, and he msged me today saying that his girlfriend came down to where we live for the week and that me and him could meet up next week. He told me he'd miss me and all this bs. I know it sounds bad (because it is bad) but we've always had this strong attraction to each other. I don't want him to break up with his girlfriend or am looking for a relationship, I guess I just want to flirt and sleep with him. To make it even worse, I wouldn't want it to be a one night stand, id like to continue doing it. I guess what I'm asking here is; has anyone else been in this situation? What happened? Was it more than one night? Have you ever cheated on your girlfriend? What should I prepare myself for? Or anything at all to this topic. Thanks. Hopefully ill get honest answers.

[Anonymous]

I can understand where your coming from... I was in a similar position with a girl I had known for years and really liked... we would see each other now and then at mutual friends parties but every time we saw each other 1 of us was in a relationship... we became really good friends and got on so well together... one day I bumped into her at the beach and we hung out all afternoon together talking swimming sunbaking, she looked so hot I wanted her so badly but she had a bf... about a month later and lots of online chatting and phone calls I saw her at another party with her boyfriend unfortunately, after a few hours I bumped into her inside waiting for the bathroom, turned out her boyfriend and a few of his friends had just left to go to another party friends of theirs were having... we chatted as we waited... we went and sat outside drinking chatting for ages until the party started to die down and I suggested sharing a cab home as she only lived a few min from me... as we headed to mine she leaned against me and rested her head on my shoulder and put my arm over her shoulders...we talked, before I knew it we were at mine, inside I was hoping we would never get there as I was loving be so close to her... I got out and she suddenly asked if she could use my bathroom as she didn't think shed make it home so I said sure and offered to walk her home afterward, I was hoping id just get to spend a little more time holding her against me... she jumped out we hurried inside... she came back out of the bathroom and plopped down on the couch beside me... I looked at her and our eyes met... my heart stopped & I leaned in to kiss her, & thankfully she kissed me back, we were suddenly all over each other... and while she had a boyfriend there was not a single thought of it in my head as I stopped and confessed my feelings to her and she told me she also had feelings for me but had a bf... then we started kissing again... and a couple of hours later I walked her home... I had no regrets at all... I told her I understood she had a boyfriend and that I didn't care... we slept together a number of times after that and as much as I desperately wanted him to find out and dump her I didn't want to cause her problems... eventually they broke up - 9months later-and we got together... its been 6 months so far, I know what I did was awful and id HATE it to happen to me but love is blind... be prepared for him to stay with his girlfriend, be prepared and willing ot be 'the other girl' causing problems with him and his girlfriend will only make him hate you... be prepared to wait and only see him discretely and rarely...

[StormiDi]

Best most honest and thorough reply

[l-hedoniste]

First, stop beating yourself up. You want a man, and a man wants you. There's no shame in that. So he has a girl. That's *his* problem for *him* to solve; you don't owe her anything.

Have I been in this situation? Often.

What happened? I usually got the girl.

More than one night? Sometimes; depends on how guilt-ridden the girl was.

Have I ever cheated? No; I'm a dumper, not a cheater.

What should you prepare yourself for? F*cking that man silly, without remorse.

[Leeni]

I have been in this situation. I was seeing a guy for a few months, nothing serious though, but we just ended up going our separate ways because he moved away. Anyway, he ended up getting in a relationship with this girl back home and moving back here, and actually only about a month or so ago he messaged me on facebook wanting to meet up, knowing full well I knew he had a girlfriend. I told him no, because there is no way in hell I would want to get in the way of a relationship. I'm not going to drag down my self respect, and self worth so a guy can get his rocks off with me in secret, but continue to go back to his girlfriend acting like it never happend. Not only is it wrong for you to do,it's not respecting yourself.

I have also been in the position of being cheated on, and I can tell you now, 3 years is a long time to be with someone, even if its long distance. That girl would be so attached to him, and you're just going to come in between that? To be honest, its girls like you who cause cat fights and bitchiness in the female population. You shouldn't want to cause that kind of hurt to someone, especially when this is all just some trivial fun to you. Find a single guy to mess with, not a guy with a girlfriend. Even if its done in secret, its still happening. And if she finds out you will be hated by everyone. Because all this is, in all honesty, is a slutty thing to do. There is no other way of putting it, you are coming between a relationship, you're not a good person in that respect if you can do that and not care about it at all.

[michiganrose]

I have been with two men who had girlfriends for a more extended period of time. I was the same way, thought I'd never do it. But honestly both of them are still in my life and my really good friends. It wasn't just about sex... however the sex was amazing. I never caused any drama. You have to be upfront in what was going to happen, what your boundaries are, and what you honestly want out of it when it's all said and done. If that changes discuss it like adults to avoid the drama. Most the time we would have deep conversations about their relationships, life, bodies, sex, ext. I learned a lot about myself, about people, and about feelings and relationships. Nothing is black and white. If you can do it, and you can look yourself in the mirror then go right on ahead. If you feel you can't then don't. Just prepare yourself to not fall in love with him. He most likely will never leave her for you.

[Anonymous]

U know whats crazy is about 2 years ago my boyfriend left me for a chick he cheated on me with I was hurt and didn't know what to do I have 4 kids by him I blamed her but then I sat down and thought about it I was lacking and I moved on but recently I started sleeping witha man who has a girlfriend it wasn't intentionally I didn't look for him we are friends and it happened I don't want drama or to ruin his relationship I thought it was perfect because all I want is sex nothing more but now he is always calling me and saying he misses me so I don't know what to tell u I never did this until now because I was so hurt it really isn't about the girlfriend and my out look is if he isn't married are u really doing anything wrong

[Hunnybunch]

This happened to be a couple of months ago. But I wasn't in your situation, I was the girlfriend. It broke my heart :( and nothing she or him say is ever going to fix it or make it any easier. Please don't do that to her.

[darlanoy0510]

Please don't do it especially he is your friend. I've never did it but I know someone who did it. In the end it causes so much problems between all the people involved and her family and everyone around her too.

[sinful1620]

Regardless of whether or not you are a slut, all this will do is kick up a bunch of drama, so you are being the worst kind of drama queen.

[MrNameless]

I wouldn't say slut.. More like a home-wrecker.

[ilyurbella]

Don't do it. I've been the girl that's been cheated on and you never want to put someone in that position. It ruins everything about them. I'm pretty sure you would hate your life if you had a boyfriend that cheated on you. So don't do it. You're just looking for a huge problem that can affect your whole life and make you feel guilty.

[waynezz]

i think you should go for it,he might be the man of your dreams regardless of him having a girl,he might be feeling something for u.u'll never know if you don't try it

[DarknSuave]

Lol its simple your obviously doing something for him that his girlfriend can't and probably never will be able too. Knock boots until it doesn't feel right anymore ^.^

[Anonymous]

Wether he cheats with you or with someone else he is gonna cheat. If you don't know, or are not friends with the girl it will not be as bad to do. Just know karmas a bitch so when you fall in love with a guy just wait till that 3 year mark because he will be sneaking around with some skank hoe's.

[Anonymous]

well I think that if the girlfriend should find out it could end very very badley. and if you don't want it to turn into more then just casual sex then you should make that clear. But my opinion is to wait till he has no girl friend. and your not the slut he would be concidered the slut because he is cheating on HIS girlfriend your the single on in this situation. I hoped I helped goodluck!