Do you think sex is necessary to have a deep, durable, unconditional relationship?

[Anonymous]

I am so tired of hearing people say that they cannot have a certain type of relationship without sex. I do not think sex is necessary in a relationship. In fact, I think it's ridiculous and a bit pathetic that the people of our generation act like they can't keep their legs closed to save their life! People are acting like sex is life support! Sex is clearly not necessary to form a bond considering a lot of guys screw girls and could care less about them! Trust me, I've seen many cousins and male friends do it. It's more emotional for females, but for guys it's just all about sticking their d*cks in something because most of them are just horny pigs who don't know how to act if they don't get orgasms. You girls can come up here and talk about "Sex is just there to deepen the relationship blah blah blah" Yeah right! I have been around so many males in my life I know that is not fact for them all! For most of them, they just want to get orgasms and if they don't get it from you, they'll find someone who will spread her legs or get on her knees and suck his d***. If sex was such a reliable way to deepen the relationship, then why do men cheat and go get sex else where? Because it doesn't matter how much sex you have, sex is not going to make your relationship deep. Ugh this generation sucks Which do you think would make a bond deeper and stronger? Sex - giving it up for the sake of pleasing someone else because maybe you simply don't have what it takes to make your relationship all that deep without spreading your legs. or... Seeing if a man or woman would actually stick around if you chose not to have sex with them. Seeing if someone actually feels you are valuable enough to sacrifice just one form of pleasure and stick around because at the end of the day, they want you even if you won't sleep with them. Hmmm I wonder how many of you would be wanted the same if you refused to have sex...? Now that's a testament of a deep relationship! What is your opinion on this? Also, how old are you? I am 19

[Quantumus]

I think you have a skewed perception of the situation, or, at the very least, what you're gathering from observations of others.

Sex isn't always something that strengthens the relationship. I know a couple of asexual people who enjoy each others' company so much that they consider themselves to be in a relationship, but there's no sex involved and that's the way they like it. However, most people are sexual beings with sexual desires. This is simply evolutionary in nature. The very act of finding a partner, subconsciously, comes with the prospect of procreation (in a primal sense, and generally), and it is for that reason that sex is so prevalent. Without it, I'd be quite willing to say that we wouldn't be here.

Sex in a relationship, for most people, is important -- and it, along with other forms of physical, intimate contact, has been biologically proven to strengthen psychological relationships. This is a fact true for many people, but there are some anomalies. If it doesn't apply to you, then fine -- but it's disrespectful and closed-minded to criticize everyone else for being human.

I, for instance, enjoy sexual contact. It's fantastic! But right now, I'm in an LDR with a fantastic girl, and we haven't had the opportunity to even come close to being intimate. And I'm okay with that -- we're connecting emotionally on profound levels, and sex can wait.

As for your two choices, I've got problems with your premise, so I'll go for each one individually.

"Sex - giving it up for the sake of pleasing someone else because maybe you simply don't have what it takes to make your relationship all that deep without spreading your legs."

Most people won't just have sex with absolutely anyone. Some will, and many, many, many won't. And, like I've said, sex benefits your relationship (most of the time). You make it sound like waiting for sex is a virtue -- and I happen to agree -- but many don't, and that's absolutely fine. It does not reveal any character deficit whatsoever.

"Seeing if a man or woman would actually stick around if you chose not to have sex with them. Seeing if someone actually feels you are valuable enough to sacrifice just one form of pleasure and stick around because at the end of the day, they want you even if you won't sleep with them."

There's actually a lot of men that I know personally who would wait. But, this is conditional: if the girl is holding off of sex SOLELY for the purpose of appraising his loyalty, it's disrespectful and simply offensive. If a girl wasn't comfortable with sex and wanted to wait, then by all means, let her take all the time in the world.

If the testament of a 'deep relationship' for you means not having sex, then by all means, proceed. But do not criticize others for having different values.

[Asker]

I don't think it's disrespectful and offensieve if a girl won't have sex with him to test his loyalty. Look at the guys in today's world! Can you really blame us? How are we supposed to differentiate from the pigs and the good guys? By testing their actions. I don't think there's anything wrong with testing his loyalty by seeing if he's just around to screw you or not.

[Quantumus]

Hm...I suppose you're right, in a way. I would be offended if a girl held off of sex with me simply to test me, but only because that is a sign that she doubts my genuineness and has a presupposition that I am some sort of perverse fiend. I think the best way to go about it is to not bring up the topic of sex until you feel secure that he is genuine. Any other comments on the rest of my answer?

[Asker]

I don't think it's about doubting YOUR genuineness as an individual. It's more so about the simple fact that there are a lot of guys out there who will put on a good act of false genuineness then screw girls over so we have to be smart about things to avoid certain outcomes. I'm not disrespecting others because I think it's ridiculous that people act like such idiots if they don't get some orgasms. It's annoying. I'm tired of hearing everyone obsess over sex when it's not even that big of a

[Asker]

deal. sorry I have more to comment but I have to go do something...

[Asker]

You seem to be making some assumptions in your essay like answer and to be honest, I'm too sleepy to address them all. I really just think that there are a lot of guys out there who want to have sex because they've gotten a taste of it and now they want it consistantly mixed with girls who like sexual pleasure as well, yet have deeper issues intertwined with those urges. Such as they are trying to seek validation, they feel like they HAVE to have sex to please their man and keep him around

[Quantumus]

There are just as many girls who meet that description as there are guys. Don't be a sexist. I didn't make any assumptions in my post, and if I did I made room for it by keeping space open for anomalies and outliers. If you're going to criticize me, then don't just threaten to criticize me.

[Asker]

Can you stop being so sensitive and emotional so that we can debate this without you getting touchy if I say something that's not so nice and flowery? If someone jabs you, jab back instead of acting like a little girl :P

[Asker]

ok wow that was extra bitchy...sorry I'm sleep deprived and annoyed with how you keep insisting that you know everything and your opinion is correct

[Quantumus]

Very little, if anything at all, of what I said was based on an emotional response. My entire answer is based on personal observations and knowledge of scientific fact: it has been demonstrated scientifically that sex and other forms of physical contact strengthen emotional connections. If you don't like it, it's not everyone else's problem. I never insisted that I knew everything, or that my opinion was correct. Making a groundless claim is very poor form; severely depreciates your argument.

[Asker]

lol you're the arrogant intellectual type who likes to try and impress others with his knowledge aren't you? here's a hint, that's not impressive, it's really annoying and makes you come off as if you are trying very hard to compensate for something you lack! I'll come back and finish our argument later after I get some sleep and I'm not so bitchy and on edge :)

[Quantumus]

You know, I've given you a comprehensive answer and all you've done is whine and moan about things that you haven't been able to back up in any sense. If you're looking for someone to nod and agree with whatever you say, this site is not the place. Grow up.

[Asker]

I'm not whining and moaning lmao stop speaking to me like you are above me and you get to criticize me and tell me who I am and what I need to fix when you don't even know me and you've never even had a conversation with me outside of this question. You don't know everything even though you seem to like to believe that you do

[Lupianwolf]

I'm 18 and a virgin

I don't think sex is necessary but if I wait for a serious girlfriend which I intend to

why shouldn't I have sex with her

You can still love someone before marriage so what's the use in waiting

I do think it is a sort of bonding and you just stereotype all guys because they want sex

Sure some just wanna f*** each other but how does it harm you?

You don't have to go out with these guys

[Lupianwolf]

I don't buy your excuse but, hey I don't care

[blondie2013]

I totally agree with you that a relationship does not need sex until marriage. I think that if a guy won't wait to have sex until marriage, he's not in the relationship for the girl, he's in it for his own pleasure. If he really loves her, she would be worth waiting for until the wedding nite. It really is as simple as that, people just don't want to believe it because then they have to put forth effort and self control, something that most people lack in today's society.

I'm 16.

[Asker]

My point exactly! I think that's just some bs guys spew to get in a girl's pants and girls are just either too emotional or stupid to see that sex is not necessary to have a deep relationship. If what you have is all that deep, then you will be just as desirable without sex.

[blondie2013]

I think that is so true. If only everyone could understand this, there would be less heartbreak, in my opinion.

[Asker]

I agree. Sex complicates things and people who are dumb enough to act like sex is just physical are such idiots

[blondie2013]

right on! I couldn't agree more. sex is for marriage, when the couple have already decided that they love eachothe and want to stay together forever. Then, it is meaningful and it deepens the relationship.

[Asker]

I bet there would be a lot less unexpected pregnancies, STD's, and girls feeling used like sex objects if only people thought more like us.

[blondie2013]

agreed, and people would respect each other more. Respect their bodies, and dignity. I honestly think that it is a sad world now as far as respect and relationships with others go.

[queenofpeen]

Sex isn't all about pleasure. When you love someone, it becomes a very intimate aspect of the relationship. It isn't THE thing that makes your relationship deep, it's just a very nice bonus. I love sharing that with my partner. Of course I don't rush into it and I make sure I trust him before having sex with him. If I have doubts about how he feels about me, I'm not going to have sex with him. However, withholding sex as a TEST of his love is not a sign of a healthy relationship.

[Asker]

Why do you think it's not a sign of a healthy relationship?

[queenofpeen]

If he treats me well and doesn't give me any reason to think that he doesn't truly love me, I'm going to trust that he does (after being together for a long time, obviously). Sure, I've been hurt in the past, but I'm not going to be paranoid about HIM just because other guys were jerks.

[Quantumus]

Great response.

[Asker]

good for you, but I've seen guys do that then turn around and break a girl's heart

[Anonymous]

It's not everything. Relationships shouldn't be based on the sex, but I do believe it creates a strong bond when added to an already good relationship. I couldn't see myself having a long term relationship without it.

[gravygirl]

Sex is necessary, yes. What else would keep two people together?

[Asker]

Wow...seriously?

[gravygirl]

Yes. That is the only thing different about being friends and being lovers. Of course it's what keeps people together. What else would you bother having a boyfriend for?

[Asker]

wow...daddy issues? there are many other reasons to have a boyfriend other than spreading your legs for him. If you approach men with the idea that there is no other reason for them to have you as their girlfriend, then you will get used and date a**holes.

[gravygirl]

Maybe our age gap is causing some issue here, I don't know. My boyfriend is no a**hole. He's wonderful, and treats me better than I even imagine to be possible. However none of this would work without sex. We wouldn't be nearly as close or in love if we hadn't spent much of our relationship having great sex. Is this really that hard to understand?

[Asker]

lol it's not hard to understand. you're a dummy. You are with someone who wouldn't treat you well if you weren't sucking his d*** and spreading your legs.

[gravygirl]

You are kind of right there. I wouldn't be his girlfriend if I wasn't having sex with him, that's true. I don't understand what you find problematic about that.

[Asker]

I just think that's degrading and makes it come off as him to be partially using you as a sex object. It's stupid of you to allow him to do that to you.

[gravygirl]

So what, you want to be a platonic girlfriend? WTF is desirable about that?

[Asker]

I didn't say I wanted to be a platonic girlfriend lol those are your words not mine. it's pathetic that you can't comprehend how to be a satisfying girlfriend without sucking **** and spreading your legs.

[sumina7]

I think a man - woman relationship can not be deep enough if it is certain that there never will be any sex. After all, you need it at least to have children.

[Faith18letsgo]

Not for me like sex is something I enjoy but I could absolutely be in a happy relationship with someone and never have sex with them.

[Texasgal95]

No but I think sex can be a bonus to having a deep durable unconditional relationship

[jeremypruitt1980]

Well I'm 37 and I would much rather see where a realtionship would go off of just the person alone and see if a bond. could be. formed off of just being around that person

[Love2Ball]

You are very ignorant. You are completley stereotyping guys. If ypu want a guy that cared about having sex then stop dating the ones thaf are just good looking and have morals and ethics.

Plus sex IS an important part of a deep and unconditional relationship.

[Asker]

You don't know who I've dated! lol For most guys, what I have said is true. They are like horny little dogs who won't act right if they don't get their d*** sucked or f***ed. It's true. Sex does not equal unconditional, dumb ass! Otherwise, why do men cheat for sex?! Haven't you seen Jerry Springer? Sex can be found anywhere, it does not make a relationship unconditional and if it made it all that deep, guys wouldn't go cheat on other girls for sex duh

[Asker]

Why is it you think sex is so important for a deep, unconditional relationship?

[Love2Ball]

i didn't say it EQUALS I said its an IMPORTANT PART. Sex is a part of bonding with your partner that you won't get doing anything else... The guys you've dated are probably guys with no personality and only good looking. Stop jumping to conclusions and false accusations. Not our fault you picked the wrong guys.

[Asker]

LMAO you keep trying to act like it's me dating the wrong guys and that's why I've come to this conclusion when in fact you don't even know anything about my dating timeline! :D Even if I did have a history of dating guys with no persoanlity and good looks (classic sentence of the not so cute guy who's trying to compensate), that doesn't negate from the fact that most men are just pigs who will sooner or later break up with a girl or cheat on her if she won't put out

[Asker]

You tell me to stop jumping to conclusions and false accusations, yet in the same breath make accusations about why I'm asking this question and who I've dated? LMAO dumb ass! This question is asked based off of what I've observed, not who I've dated.

[Love2Ball]

Yea? I'm the dumbass. Atleast I can comprehend what the other person is typing in. Your getting so offended I'm actually getting a kick out of this. Dont really care if your trying to hint that I'm not cute or don't like me I'm here to get and give advice to get compliments or make soulmates. You're the one who is asking anonymously and insulting people for really no good reason.

[Love2Ball]

*Not to get compliments or make soulmates*. God forbid if you actually make fun of me for leaving a word out.

[Asker]

lol, I have no reason to be offended. Don't flatter yourself because ther'es no reason to :P I'm simply just saying that there is no validity to the FALSE ACCUSATION you keep throwing around. Well now that you've confirmed you are just wasting space and taking up my time doing nothing but running off at the mouth with your ASSumptions and going off topic...enjoy being blocked :)

[Hades]

No. Love is about sacrifice and compromise, the exact opposite of lust/sex. Too many greedy, selfish sheeple these days mistake lust for love. The huge difference in divorce rates in the western world and countries where sexual absistence is encouraged (and have arranged marriages) proves this further.

[BeHappy1985]

Yes

https://youtu.be/lQlIhraqL7o

[Vivaldi]

We dont have sex with my girlfriend. We dont even go swimming together. She says it is not right.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it is. It makes the bond a lot stronger than it would be without sex.

[Asker]

What do you think it is about sex that makes a bond stronger?

[Opinion Owner]

The whole experience really.

[Asker]

Okay but what about the experience? I'm challenging your idea...make me believe you.

[Opinion Owner]

I'm not looking to convince you. I'm giving you my opinion. But here's something for you to ponder: If sex is so meaningless to you in a relationship then you shouldn't care if the guy is having it with someone else. Is that the case?

[Asker]

It's not about convincing me, it's about showing me that what you have to say is valid instead of having an opinion with no back up. Wow, you're a dumb ass lmao No girl is going to say "Sex is meaningless. It's okay if you want to go screw someone else" Plus I didn't say sex was meaningless, I just said it wasn't necessary for a certain type of relationship! Don't put words in my mouth!

[Opinion Owner]

My, aren't you pleasant! Sex isn't important for a friendship. That's why friends don't care if you f*** someone else. In fact, they'll usually be happy for you and maybe high five you. Sex IS important in a romantic relationship. That's why you AREN'T supposed to f*** other people when you're in one. If you're not f***ing in that relationship, then it's totally cool to f*** others. If the other person (like you) has a problem, they can just f*** off.

[Asker]

...ok? I don't care. lol you sitll never gave me an answer as to what it is about the experience that you think makes the bond stronger?

[Opinion Owner]

It's a matter of preference. That's it. Almost everyone shares the preference for exclusive, frequent and quality sex in a committed relationship. If you don't, good for you. Go find a guy who is as indifferent to sex as you are. Don't waste your time bitching about how people don't share your sexless utopian view of the world. No one is forcing you to do anything.

[Asker]

I don't have a sexless utopian view of the world! Stop ASSuming that just because I don't think sex is necssary in order to develop a certain type of relationship than I am totally against sex! You keep trying and FAILING to insult me lmao and make your answer about me instead of the original topic and it appears to be because you're too dumb to come up with a solid, concrete answer. LOL

[Opinion Owner]

Judging by your crazy btich reaction to lots of other responses here, it sounds like you have a tough time gettinga long with others. And just so you know, that's not an attempt to insult you--just an observation.

[Asker]

lol tell that to my tons of friends :P I really don't. I'm just moody and easily irritated today.

[Anonymous]

I do think it's necessary. Clearly sex isn't everything, but it's huge part because it brings you guys closer together on a level you wouldn't have just with talking or cuddling.

[Asker]

I think that's just something someone who, for whatever reason, is intellectually, spiritually, and emotionally incapable of creating greater ways to get closer to someone would say. Cuddling and talking are not the only possible ways to get closer to someone LMAO