Sexual Health
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Girlfriend never puts out. Reaching my limit.

My girlfriend and I used to have a pretty active sex life. We would have sex almost daily for the first 8 months or so, and afterward there was a decline. Honestly, I never cared much about sex as a guy. I would put up with it and do it mainly for her, because she had a crazy libido. We took a break after about 16 months and got back together after some time, we both changed and grew. When we were back together, at first it was the same. She practically raped me the day we got back together and I told her I wanted to keep it slow. Her intense interest was there for the first few months, then it stopped. She isn't in the mood much. Sure we cuddle and hold each other and make out sometimes, but sex is almost nonexistent now. We do it a couple times a month, and even then its a hassle. So tonight, since I took her on a road trip she jokingly said she would reward me with sex and I kept making a big deal about it. I could tell the entire time she wasn't really in the mood, and finally when we started I made a joking comment about her hair 'downstairs' and instead of shaking it off like normal, she pretended to get offended and got off and said she was done and wanted to cuddle and sleep. I kinda snapped at that point, tired of going through hoops for sex. I told her it was normal for couples to have sex like multiple times a week and we do it monthly. I was frustrated and didn't understand why things changed dramatically, and its starting to make me feel like there is something wrong with me. She replied with, 'I just don't really feel in the mood. Its not with just you, its everything. There is nothing wrong when it comes to you.' I mean, she sounded sincere but I don't know how long I can buy this and what happened to kill her libido. My desire for sex is a normal thing and I don't want to feel bad about it.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Expecting sex right when you said " I told her I wanted to keep it slow" is so ironic... well you got your wish so why are you now moaning she's taking it slow herself? lol and the fact she isn't riding you like a horse now shows that maybe she realized she was giving herself away far too much to a guy and that guys weren't appricating the sex she was giving them, and by the looks of it you really don't... because now she's taken away the daily sex even when you never wanted it in the first place your complaining? lol it shows your sex drive is a lot higher than you make it out to be... since you are now demanding sex several times a week... lol.

    Demanding it from her then making nasty jabs about her pubic hair to try and knock down her self-esteem is just a douche move... that was totally 100% disrespectful... that is not how you do things... if you want sex try to be a little less impaitent and angry and try to actually talk to her about what's wrong if you are thinking there IS something wrong, common sense... being someone isn't all just sex... it's about listening to your partner, being there for them and letting them know they are safe with you and can open up to you, but if you don't really try to understand if there is something wrong then she's never going to open up to you and she's going to lose her attraction to you (if she hasn't already). Don't let this be all about sex... but if you feel you have more of a sexual attraction to her then i wouldn't continue this relationship.

  • Maybe she saw your initial low libido as a lack of interest in her, thus she lost interest in you. Practically no girl wants to be with a guy who doesn't want her often if she has a high sex drive.

    OR something is bothering her/stressing her, as lack of sleep, stress, etc. can kill sex drive.

    "I made a joking comment about her hair 'downstairs'"

    Sorry, but I can understand why she wouldn't take this well. Guys usually joke about that stuff when they're making a passive-aggressive jab and implying they aren't happy with the girl. You sure she "pretended" to be offended?

  • wow sucks, I don't know what to say, but you two do need to talk, NICELY no yelling, jus say how you feel and what you expect from her and let her respond. tell her its affecting the relationship.

    hate to add, could she be with som1 else? not saying accuse her or anything but maybe keep it and mind?

Most Helpful Guys

  • She has been going through some changes. Try to talk to her to find out what caused them. If conversation between the two of you doesn't seem to fix things, consider a couple's counselor. They are often able to get at things that couples can't get to themselves.

  • There could be a multitude of reasons why her sex drive has decreased. She could be suffering from HSDD which is a common sexual dysfunction, or have psychological issues such as depression, stress, or anxiety, which can greatly decrease her libido.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • maybe something bad happened when you were separated?

  • The honest answer here is to have a conversation about it and try to reach a compromise. Sometimes there's more going on than just a lack of sex drive. If you can't work things out to the satisfaction of both of you (and give it an honest try), then move on. Maybe you just aren't compatible.

  • Wow, maybe you need to ask her what is up?

    Could be you two are mismatched?

    Do you do the whole foreplay routine etc. Kiss her a lot, try to be passionate...etc.

  • You guys need to talk about it.

  • Tell her

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