How long does it take a man to get good in bed?

[Anonymous]

I'm 23 and had 2 partners before my boyfriend. he's 24 and lost his virginity to me. we been intimate now for 6 months... but he still comes very quick and complains about hitting a "wall" in my vag. he also says I'm too tight. I don't think there's some wall down there and I don't think its too tight. how long does it generally take a man to get better in bed!? I'm losing my patience! any tips for him? for me? *** BE NICE!***

[sota13]

the "wall" is probably just your cervix. as far as being too tight, that should be a problem either. he's frustrated & maybe trying to pass the blame off a little which is silly. for some guys it takes a while to get comfortable enough to be "good" in bed. I had major stamina issues and it took me til my 3rd partner & a lot of work to get better. here's something I posted a while back that's a list of things that helped me. hope it helps! good luck!

For struggling guys and/or their partners who wanna help them!

I understand your pain. I used to be sub 60 seconds every time. Some guys ARE more sensitive than others. but the main thing is, once it starts to be a problem, it's ALL you can think about and it just makes it much much worse. So number one, and I KNOW this is hard, just try to take things a little easier on yourself. It's something you CAN get better at (I was REEEEALLY bad, 5 seconds sometimes. and now I'm much much better) and isn't ALWAYS gonna happen. So just relax a bit; if all yer thinking about when you stick it in is "oh no, I'm gonna come fast and it's going to be embarrassing" you have no chance. So just try to switch that mind set. just DECIDING it's going to get better helps. Now, there's a lot of other things to do, and the combination of the all of them will help you be more confident, relaxed, and last longer.

1. Masturbate earlier in the day if yer anticipating sexing it up later.

2. Wear a condom.

3. Practice lasting longer when you masturbate. Just get more tuned in to the sensations and try to regulate speed as your pleasure builds.

4. GET GOOD AT ORAL AND MANUAL SEX, So BEFORE intercourse, you can get her off a BUNCH of times with your mouth and fingers. This was the BIGGEST factor in my gaining more stamina. If you totally blow her mind BEFORE sex, she thinks yer AMAZING already, has TONS of endorphins pumping through her body, is feeling TOTALLY warmly towards you, and bottom line, that takes a LOT of pressure off you. I guarantee that if she's in that state and you come too fast, she's not gonna care. the over all feeling she'll have is "my GOD he f'ed me SOOO good". just the fact that you are able to do that makes it much easier to last longer since you aren't worried anymore about disappointing her.

5. learn positions that are super stimulating for her but provide very little sensation on the head of your penis. this is a LIFE SAVER. the best is this: when intercourse starts, or anytime during it that you feel yer getting too stimulated, just slide all the way in her. now line up your pubic bone over her clit and just sort of pulse it into her. this way, yer driving her crazy because she gets the sensation of being totally filled up by you AND great clitoral stimulation and you, since yer not really thrusting in and out, have almost 0 friction. after you practice this for a while, you can easily make her come this way and once she starts to orgasm, just start pumping away with full thrusts til you finish too.

[sota13]

Sorry . . . should have said being tight "SHOULDN'T" be a problem . . .

[nermalinda]

Have your boyfriend read this. Any good guy is going to be willing to try anything to please his woman. If he's a jerk about it though, that's not a good sign. Hopefully he'll just read this and do what it says.

[sota13]

Good advise, nermalinda! ;)

[Bvroon]

Look I'm not suggesting I'm the end all be all when it comes to sex. All I am saying is sometimes it's not about how many times, partners you have had etc etc, but what you do with the time you have sexually. I am very giving when I have sex and really try to insure that my partner is satisfied with our "play time" I feel that being attentive and good communication are very much a part of what makes a good sex life and a good lover. I am coming to realize (no pun intended) that the older I get and the more I know the less important all the other silly stuff seems to matter, how big I am, how many positions I know weather or not we are hanging from the ceiling and stuff like that . I hope this helps you and answers some of your question. Try and talk to him about this and see if it helps, the biggest sex organ you have is on top of your shoulders.

[Cartiphilus]

In my opinion he's using your tight vagina as an excuse for his blatant inexperience in bed. If he's that sensitive he needs to slow down once he's inside you. He probably starts pumping like a jack hammer as soon as he enters you so he can quickly pop. Being inside a vagina feels so good it can become addicting and the only thing he can think of is once again being able to pop. He needs to develop maturity and self-control. Tell him to go slow. Once he's inside the doesn't need to immediately start stroking. He can just enjoy being inside you. By the way, that 'wall' is your cervix. It shows how stupid he is about the female anatomy. Find a thick in-sensitizing condom for him wear.

[JennieF]

He's always been great.