She does NOT need to be "stretched"
-If a girl is relaxed feeling something "strange" inside her (a man's penis is probably the most strange thing-to her- she ever got there) she wiil become excited if you caress her.
-If she's excited she will be self lubricating (if not in menopause yet (which isn't the case, I suppose)
If she's not self lubricating (for some hormonal reason) lube is needed and will help
If she's NOT relaxed and not excited, just don't try it. Not without lube and not with lube: just DO NOT TRY IT!
First instinctive body reflex against an "intrusion" will be tense muscles, cramps, to stop the "intruder", YOU.
It hurts a lot but it's a reflex against rape. Lube will NOT change that.
She has to get rid of that reflex when it's you "invading". To accept you.
If her body and mind don't relax and accept your penetration she will develop vaginism: link
Thus slow down, don't ever force things or don't let her force herself.
Take a sex pause for some week(s), let her relax, let her get at ease with strange fingers (yours, of course) near and in her vagina.
Do it softly and gradually
When she accepts a finger without hurting , move on to two fingers.
When she accepts two fingers without hurting , move on to three fingers.
Do it softly
Three fingers is about penis size.
When she accepts...
I suggest you then use a position where SHE can control penetration. (cowgirl maybe link
NEVER force anything, not with lube either: it's NOT about physical dimensions, it's about a defensive reflex.
Perfect details!
Okay you need to do a little googling to research the human body parts. A vagina does not become permanently "stretched out" after repeatedly having sex. It will always return to its original size after sex so your girlfriend will always be tight (not including after childbirth).
What you need to do is make sure your girlfriend is mentally prepared for sex. If she's worried or stressing she will tense up and make it harder to have sex. Communicate with her and make sure she's okay with everything. Next, make sure she is very aroused and well lubricated. If she doesn't produce very much lubrication on her own then invest in a good lubricant (can be bought anywhere from a sex store to a drug store). Remember to get a water based one and using too much is better than using too little. Lastly, take it slow. Give her time to adjust to you being inside her. You can try her on top which gives her control of how fast to go.
That's a really sensitive answer - I'm impressed at your women savy. Hope it works out for them.
I agree. I'm impressed too.
Ditto with them ^^ :)
There are a ton of factors that go into this. First is your "size". If you are big length wise, you may have difficulty. Talking from personal experience, I had a boyfriend who was 8 1/2 inches and he hit my cervix every time he thrust. That doesn't go away and you have to actually change certain positions so you aren't hitting her cervix.
Then there is lubrication for her. Is she turned on and "wet" enough? If she is dry, then its going to hurt no matter what. Try using some lube. Lube is good to have anyways. With my old boyfriend who was well endowed, it really was so helpful until I became accustomed to it.
If you keep trying, use lube, make sure she's turned on enough she will start to feel less and less pain.
I agree. plus, adrenaline will override that pain eventually.
aww you don't have to worry for her, really its normal. It was exactly the same with my bf, we tried many times before he finally penetrate me loll I'm still very tight but I'm used to it and I'm not nervous anymore so my vagina is relaxed =P
it took like one week before the pain has totally subsided. keep dong it every other day don't worry if it hurts a little bit. I suggest to make love in the missionary position because when I tried cowgirl it was hurting and I didn't want to move LOLL
well ask her maybe she want to try it! everybody's different and if you show her you care, shell be comfortable and everything will be alright =)
good luck!
I agree with wanacot. I would add that it would probably be a good idea to let her heal (no sex) for a week or so (until she doesn't feel any pain any more). I had exactly the same problem back in the day, and I found that it got worse and worse until I took a break. Then it was a lot better. The pain totally went away when my boyfriend started spending more time on foreplay.
This is normal. Just make sure to use plenty of lubrication and have lots of foreplay.
give it a week and when you actually have sex be sure its gentle.
if she's nervous while having sex it could cause her to tighten up and it can hurt even more.
but in the mean time just be on top during sex until she get used to it.
if she still has pain. have her go see a doctor.
We plan on having intercourse every day so we don't want to wait a week but I've been as gentle as possible without actually stopping but she has an appointment next week with the OB doc so we'll make sure that everything is okay there, thanks.
I meant to say do it how many times you want. but if its been over a week and there's still pain go to the doctor. hopefully its nothing serious. :)
"we don't want to wait a week but I've been as gentle as possible without actually stopping " I suggest NOT to try penetration for a few weeks but to do lots of oral sex on her. Then fingering.
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!One possibility is that she has viginismus, a medical condition that can cause muscular cramping or spasms. It can happen to any woman, but is more common in the teens or early 20s.
The causes can be physical or psychological and often need medical attention.
it will get a little looser after time and after having sex quite a few times. the more stimulated she is at the time of sex, the more her vagina will get wet and more willing to accept a 'foreign object' (penis, dildo, fingers...etc.) the wetter the better, it won't hurt as much because it will be nice and lubricated, if she herself doesn't tend to get really wet then use some lube.
i suggest you put her on top.
the lip on the Virgina do stretch after a while of having sex but they'll return back to normal after a while of no sex..
id agree with "wanacot"
i have the opposite problem with my girl.
after having sex twice a day almost every day, you tend to miss the tight feeling.
Make her comfortable, and use lube!
We used a lube called "Moist" and that stuff was the most evil sh*t known to man, gave both of us severe stomach problems and actually burned too, it was absolutely terrible
it depends on the girl. Everyone is different and some girls don't have any pain at all. It also depends on your size. It shouldn't last too much longer though.
girls vagina will be tight for a long time... till she becomes old or give birth to a child
yeah, it truly depends., some girls are tighter, some guys are larger. I had a friend, and it never hurt at all for her, a friend that took like ten-fifteen times until it stopped hurting, and for me it took like three or fours times. just don't stop and give up.
I hear up tos 5 time
If she uses big tampons it could help but I don't recommend it
Maybe she needs to relax more
I think it differs from girl to girl and depends on how tight she is to begin with.
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