Virginity??

what happened to virginity? i mean I have noticed a lot of girls ashamed of being virgins or shy to admit it I'm not a virgin but I mean if a girl tells me she's a virgin I would have more respect for her what happened? why is it these days that it's better if you're not a virgin I'm not saying all the girls are ashamed of it though
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Most Helpful Girls

  • I'm not really sure (it's a complex issue) but I think part of it happened as people started separating sex from loving relationships. People are more likely today to have casual sexual relationships often with no romantic relationship at all. And as that happens, I think people get more selfish about their sexuality. It becomes less about communicating love, and more about "getting off." Often, the message sent to women and girls then, is that the only way to get or keep a man is by being sexual. (You can see it in this forum when guys complain about the lack of technique of virgins. In a relationship, that really wouldn't matter as you'll be together beyond the first few awkward times.) Women end up being branded (unfairly) as prudish or asexual if they aren't having intercourse. I am a virgin by choice, and I can honestly say that I have a very healthy sex drive. (There are ways other than intercourse to express sensuality.) The reason I wait is that I personally like the idea of being with only one man, one I love and am committed to, and one who loves and is committed to me. For myself, I can't separate sex from love. (Many people can; I'm just not one.) The prevailing culture though, seems to believe that in order to be a sexual person, one has to be engaging in casual sex. I have no problem with people who make different choices for themselves, but I think it odd that people would assume (if they knew) that my choice implies something dysfunctional. On the contrary, I think sex is really important. All virginity implies for me is that I really value the idea of faithfulness, even to the point of being faithful to a man I have yet to marry. Once I am with the right man, I absolutely expect to have a great sex life! (And I won't have to worry about whether he'll call me again.) At the same time, when I hear guys who complain about having sex with a virgin, it's an easy way to weed them out of my dating pool!

    • Great ideal/ideals to hold with. One day, a guy will be happy it was you he ended up with. It's hard to find those same thoughts these days. I'm not judgmental to the point that I'm opposed to women who have had sex before, but I would hope that this kind of thinking went into their decision to have sex when they have.

    • You are awesome

  • there's this negative connotation attached to virgins, like we're lame or "too innocent". virgins get this "little girl" stigma and always have this pressure by friends and society to stop being so "religious" and get laid. people automatically slap this label of "shameful" on us because we aren't sexually exuberant like the media wants us to be. actually, virgins can be very sexual without having to engage in sexual activity. look at adriana lima. she was a virgin until she got married and she's damn sexy haha.

    and it's just plain intimidating to walk up to an experienced guy and tell him you only know so much about what you're doing. some guys like virgins, some guys get frustrated with virgins... some guys can't wait for a virgin or think the girl will get "too attached" if something happens between them. there's a lot of negative swirling around it. I'm proud I'm not a whore (not saying non-virgins are whores, I'm just saying that I don't get around), but sometimes I wish I didn't have to have that "i'm a virgin" conversation at my age, ya know? ah well, it is what it is.

    • I see what you mean.. same thing with guys being labeled as 'not sexual or innocent' virginity has nothing do with innocence and experience.. I'm 20. traveled most of the world, had unimaginable experiences and been enlightened.. and I'm a virgin.. honestly, not big deal.. lol. I'm waiting for one girl who is also a virgin and who I can be attracted to mentally and physically.. the negative connotation stems from media but it doesn't affect me, probably because I don't watch much tv.

    • Wait.. let me rephrase.. "probably because I don't watch trash tv.".. hahah like reality shows and hannah banana or some other bullshhit.

    • LOL hanana banana? hilarious. I would love to meet a guy who is a virgin, but I haven't gotten lucky yet. every dude has been just on horny bastard after another and the one guy my friend was dating (she was a virgin) for two years waited and I thought 'great, they exist' until he broke up with her since she wouldn't give it up. that was very discouraging to say the least.

  • I think the media is a huge part of the problem. The media sends a message that men want women who will have sex and give themselves away. And then when there is a young female celebrity who is trying to be chaste, she gets made fun of and men say how she'll break eventually. It sends a message to young girls that they are fighting a losing battle to keep their virginity and that men want women who are sexually experienced and will put out.

    • Great Answer!

Most Helpful Guys

  • It's a shame, but I haven't been with a virgin as far as I know. I think it's because the virgin girls past 17/18 are either mighty shy (which I can't deal with, I need an extroverted/flirty girl), mighty ugly, overly religious or ice-cold bitches. Or a mixture of these categories.

    I'd like to marry a girl who is a virgin or at most been with a few guys. It's been shown that girls with multiple partners are far more likely to divorce, to have affairs and to have psychological problems. (This correlation doesn't stand as strongly for men)

  • The media promotes and glamorizes sex to the point where if you don't you will never be considered a woman. There is also a common thought that if they don't have sex with a guy he will not stay with her, which is Bullsh*t in my opinion, at least if he's a good guy, which she SHOULD find out.

    Don't mean to offend the experienced girls out there but I would only seriously date a virgin, I'm not gonna settle for used.

    • Man I completely agree

    • HaHa "settle for used" LOL too funny. Bet that makes your non-virgin girl friends feel better!! ..."used"... wow. I admire that you seek a clean sheet of paper but your description is a bit out there. LOL.

    • Well in this life, you can't please everyone, now can you, lol.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Because in our society today, they don't have to be. It won't for sure ruin any of their chances in life, for marriage or a career, like it used to.

    • yes because you can kill your baby and feel fine and dandy about it.

    • thats if you get pregnant, which is in the category of stupid people. and reeaaalllllyyyyy unluv=cky people.

  • virginity is a personal choice. people shouldn't be judged by whether or not they're a virgin. the reason that it seems to better for non-virgins now a days is because sex is exploited so much. people now-a-days don't associate sex and love anymore. although some still might. I personally don't think you have to love some one to have sex with them, that doesn't make me a slut, but that's just how I think. people do things for different reasons, lots of times people also make mistakes but whatever, let people make their own mistakes. although I guess when it comes to sex, its only a mistake if you think it was. I don't think a girl should be ashamed of being a virgin, but I dnt think she should be praised for it either. its just a decision we make( well sometimes we don't make it ourselves, but you know). oh well just live and let live, don't let something like virginity alter your view of someone, it has nothing to do with you.

  • The sexual revolution of the 70's happened. O_O

    A girl being a virgin is fine if she chooses to be one herself. But society forcing a girl to be a virgin or be shamed (therefore never being able to marry, being called whore, etc) is not okay.

    I agree though that it seems to now be swinging over to the other extreme, where if you haven't had sex before a certain age (although no one can agree what that age is. lol) you're considered a prude and unsexy and therefore unable to get a guy. <_<

    I'm hoping that more people will start taking the moderate path where it doesn't matter whether or not a girl has had sex as long as she's happy with whatever choice she made. And also that she got to actually make a choice. There are quite a few of these people out there. We just don't scream and yell like people at the extremes do. Heh.

  • im still a virgin and I'm 21 and all my boyfriends have dumped me because I won't have sex with them in the first week of a relationship. there's many guys that there that don't want a virgin so there's some girls that are ashamed for being a virgin but they don't understand that some of these guys all they want is sex and that the guys that recpect your virginity are guys that really do care about you and love you

    • awsome :P

  • Personally, I don't think that we shouldn't judge a person's worth/value on whether or not they've had sex or how much sex they've had.

    Whether someone is a virgin or not does not affect my respect for them in either direction.

    • couldn't agree more

    • I reread what I wrote, and that's meant to say I don't think that we should*

    • well sleeping around is a measure of responsiblity...im sorry it just is..