Why do guys stare when you're grinding with a guy at the club?

[Anonymous]

When I go to the club, I love to just get lost in the music! :D It's my mission to go there, just dance to a point where my spirit takes over my body. It feels so good like an instant remedy :) I like grinding with guys because I'm a virgin who has never participated in any sexual activity not even been fingered and it helps me release some pent up sexual frustration. Don't judge me. lol At least I keep it real :) It's the closest I can get to sexual activity lol so I tend to just let loose and dance very sensually. I keep it as classy as grinding can get. I don't let the guy put his hands all over me. To be honest, it's like something just takes over lol I forget that I'm in a room full of people lol and get so lost in the music and the dance I'm having with the guy. I dance with every single part of my body; my back, my finger tips, my hands, my legs...mainly utilizing my belly dancing and hip rolling skills. I let my hair get all in my face and I love it lol I love flipping it back or pulling to the one side and looking back at him over my shoulder :) When I snap back into reality and realize there are people everywhere, a lot of them are usually just staring! Girls stare too! One time, I was dancing with this guy and a group of like four or five, maybe even six of his friend were just staring at us wtf It's kind of awkward lol I don't really like the attention, but somehow I seem to get it :/ I just want to go in the club and dance the night away with no one paying attention! Anyway, I was just wondering why people stare? It's awkward!

[Anonymous]

You might enjoy dancing, but your doing what you do for attention. If the attention stopped your interest would soon wain (though you might still enjoy dancing, "grinding" would become un important).

Thats it really.

Guys stare because your basicly putting out the message (as far as any observer is concerned) "I might f**k you tonight if your lucky and impress me. Whatever message you may "feel" your actually giving this is the signal which is most clear from the perspective of a horney guy watching your antics even if they don't think of it that way on an animailistic level its what's happening.

So, guys stare because they are finding you attractive and you seem to be displaying what they want to see or experience.

Girls stare partly because girls can see the attraction in it, partly because they are pissed at you for basicly "putting out" visually and making their life harder with their guys they are trying to train up / determin if they like them in the right way, partly because they are stiff and boring or unattractive themselve, or unwilling to goto such lengths.

Basicly its all fine as long as the guys you grind with you actually want to take to bed, even if your not going to right then and may not in the future. As long as that's the case its great for both of you.

[Asker]

Wow...that's interesting how small minded so many guys must be if they truly believe that :) I am a virgin and I've never done anything sexual. So for a guy to ASSume that I'm going to go off and have sex with some guy is stupid! Just becuase a girl grinds with a guy doesn't automatically mean she's letting him stick his d*ck in any part of her! I don't know where tf his d*** has been and wtf has been on his d*ck!

[Opinion Owner]

No its ammazing how narrow minded people are and how they want to convince themselves of what they already believe and of things contrary to surrounding evidence but I'm just saying the same thing in a different way there. Basicly, sexy is actions which leave a person an impression or a feeling associated with the feeling that comes with sexy, love or attraction. Guys aren't narrow minded but they do take actions to mean things, how silly of us.

[Opinion Owner]

ps. Since you rubbing up against a person doesn't mean you want him physically, I would also assume you saying you love someone doesn't really mean all that much either? beyond a nice pleasantry. See how people can make mistakes. Don't get me wrong, I love dancing and appriciate artform in dancing well and in a way that can be sensual (for personal enjoyment and feeling personally empowered). Even with a partner in the right forums, like in ballroom dancing, but there is very different.

[Asker]

You don't know everything lol "I would also ASSume you saying you love someone doesn't really mean all that much either?" WRONG. that's why you shouldn't ASSume :) that doesn't even have anything to do with the topic! Stop being so dramatic and up tight

[Asker]

It's not that I'm narrow minded, I just think you're really annoying how you keep expressing your OPINION as if it is a fact and every other single person agrees with it lol!

[Opinion Owner]

Assumption is something we all do on a daily basis and usually people are doing it beause if we didn't assume some things we would just lock up processing a single hour in a single day. Its better to be aware this is a fact and to avoid giving out wrong messages.. tho its more important to be yourself and deal with the consequences of such and decide who you want to be. =)

[Asker]

stop trying to take the spotlight off of your pointless ASSuming by saying that everyone does it. You are not Dr. Phil. You don't even know me enough to say some of the things you're saying and KNOW that they apply to me. So let it go because it's pointless running your mouth about it

[Opinion Owner]

lol.. angry now is it? If you want to compare me to Dr Phill that's nice, I certainly am not trying to be anything. Just being honest, up to you how you take it. As for assumption, feel free to keep ignoring what most people might assume. Its good to be yourself.

[Asker]

who cares what you think lol

[invodkaveritas]

QA, you should care about what he thinks, because you asked this question in order to get answers...just saying

[Asker]

invodka ect, yes I asked this question for answers, but if the answer is totally ignorant and judgmental than it will go in one ear and out the other.

[Anonymous]

Basically, from your description, you are grinding to masturbate - "it helps me release some pent up sexual frustration". So you are masturbating in the middle of the dance floor and sending the message (whether you mean to or not ) that you are looking to get laid. And you wonder why people are staring... And with this wild, abandoned, middle of the dance floor public masturbation, just how is that keeping it "classy"? You are right - it is awkward. It's just that you don't realize what it is that is awkward. As one girl here suggested, girls are figuring you should get a room!

[Asker]

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! I do not masturbate on the dance floor! hahaha :D omg that just made my day!

[invodkaveritas]

erm maybe I got a bad definition of grinding. but to me grinding is not just shaking your butt into a guy's crotch. it's also moving your hips in rhythm with each other and the music. spinning the girl around, moving your upper body, put your hands on each other (no dirty places) etc.idk, maybe I'm wrong. but that kind of dance can also be classy. :)

[Opinion Owner]

See link in Urban Dictionary. Does not sound classy at all.

[Asker]

I am a classy girl. Just because I am not going to be uptight prude in an attempt to make sure no one can say I'm not classy doesn't mean I have no class.

[invodkaveritas]

haha this could have been my question. I think I dance just like you :) and I always why other guys stared at me while doing it, because I'm not doing it in a slutty way at all. I thought they were just thinking "sucks that I can't dance" or something like that.

because like once one asked me to dance FOR him, not with him. when I told him to get his ass up from that coach he said he can't dance. afterward I was dancing with another dude and he kept staring at me all the time.

don't know really :) ha ha being a virgin rocks because you won't feel trashy if some jealous girls say you're dancing "too suggestively for their taste"

[Anonymous]

girls stare because they don't want to see you grinding on a guy and they want you to get a hotel room so you can take out your pent up sexual frustration. Guys stare because they wish it was them.

[Asker]

lol well the girls who stare are grinding as well so that would make them hypocritical. I mean come on...no one is going to know from looking at me that I have pent up sexual frustration that part of your question doesn't even make sense

[Eva_Grace]

probably they're just in awe of your dancing skills, I love to watch people dance, especially the ones that are better than me, its just amazing to watch and then you want to emulate it.

[Asker]

Aww that's sweet. well here's a tip! Loosen up and mainly use your hips and your back.

[sephora]

i notice when people stare its when the girl is basically is like on all fours grinding, and that just looks wrong, and the guy looks helpless..lolol. but like you said try to keep it "as classy" as possible..and no one will look twice.

[Asker]

lmao! well I've never done that and never plan on it ever! lol that's just way too far. When you're to a point where you're trying bedroom moves, it's not even dancing anymore, it's just f*cking with your clothes on lol!

[Armada]

How is "grinding" even considered dancing. Perhaps you'd be interested in "daggering".

[sephora]

what the f is daggering? lol

[Armada]

Grinding on a whole new level.

[Asker]

it's considered a type of dance in Latin, African American, and Caribbean cultures

[Armada]

Indeed.

[MichiganSC4]

He wishes it was him?

[Anonymous]

Because there's a level of appropriateness that you need to maintain and since you don't care about that boundary (for whatever reason good bad or otherwise) you will get judged badly. People will think you're a slut. End of story.

[Asker]

No, they won't lol only small minded peolple or jealous, insecure girls who don't have what it takes, the looks or confidence, to dance like me! they'll tell themselves I'm a slut to make themselves feel better...but intelligent people are going to understand that dancing sensually doesn't make you a slut. Have you never been to a club before? riiighhht next time I go out, I'll hold myself back from having a good time by trying to maintain a "level of approrpriateness" yeah right!

[Asker]

that's boring and that sounds like something an up tight, boring person would suggest when you're in a club wtf I'm not a slut and I know it lol

[Opinion Owner]

I know you're not a slut I never thought that you were, you asked why people are staring so I'm telling you. If you dance provocatively it sends off a certain vibe to people whether it's true or not. I club and dance crazy too but usually within the comfort of my friends and people I know, when I catch myself getting a little tooooo far, I pull it back because people are judgmental assholes and I don't want to have to deal with that. Being viewed as something and actually BEING it are two things