Sexual Relationships
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Guys, Am I just starting to let my insecuritiy get to me? by the way I’m his first girlfriend ever? Read info? 6 months relationship?

Recently had an argument about following naked girls&only fans. I found out he was hiding the only fans pictures when I hid my own naughty ones. He deleted them straight away&explained he’s bored of regular porn. That even though it’s abit of acting the girls in vids look like actually enjoy it. He said to me straight out he has paid cuzit’s like $10 videos/pictures. That to him it’s just a personal wank collection. I said I don’t understand it still&I’m insecure about it. He says he can’t look at only fans anymore cause he will end up thinking of discussion&not wanking. Thislead to him tellin me he still has an girl’ whom he wanted to bewith but couldn’t she is too far away. He said she’s special tohim cause they both know about each other’s darkest sexual desires&understand it. She post regularly on Snapchat stories&tumblr her porn/nudes. That’s how met her. My boyfriend admitted he has looked at her storybut hasn’t contacted her sincewe started dating. He says he knows she probably still likes him. I trust that he hasn’t contacted her, but wonder why he would keep her snap, pics&vids just incase we break up (his words) He said if I can’t trust him, then might as break up. He said that if we’re to ask him to delete her, he’d refuse. He worked hard to get her SnapBack be4 we even started going on dates/talking. he doesn’t want be type or guy who begs again if we break up. He admitted he still likes her but not in love with her. he used to still have other girls photos but deleted them a month in. He would like to be civil with the girls he past had things with because there’s no beef. He said he’d do the same with me if we were to break upHe said he wouldn’t have explained it if he didn’t care for me. that he was afraid of telling me and didn’t want to cuz it’s very dark secret of his. He’samazingHe wants to fly to his family and tells me he has thoughts at times of marrying me one day. He’s already started saving&making plans to move in2gether.
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Superb Opinion

  • Some porn, flirting and friendship with other girls is to be expected of most guys at any age or relationship status, but he doesn't seem to know what he wants. This isn't healthy behavior for him or your relationship. He sounds kind of immature because deepest darkest sexual desires aren't something you hide from your real live girlfriend. You may want to wait on him to grow up or make a decision to love you only before you mess your life up with him. He will probably always have a soft spot in his heart for this other woman, but he needs to realize having sexual fantasies about someone is not a relationship with someone. You are the real deal and he needs to realize that.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Dear asker, in any relation no one deserve to be second plate, we are full menu, look, explore this... i think is not a trust issue the one you have, but you feel not respected. And i am totally on your side in this. explain your discomfort from the feeling that comes, if you feel not respected be clear that is not a trust but respect issue. If he wanna end after, he wasn't for you, you have avoid a bullet. To be honest If you were my sister, I will go and hit the guy for lacking you respect, and advice you to end the relation, you have a worth!, no one will respect you if you do not respect yourself first. you own yourself a bit of self love, no to become self centered, but the minimum you should have at least. End that guy, he don't deserve you. and sorry but... by the end of the answer I sort of adopt you for a few lines like I would being speaking to my sister.

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What Guys Said

(8)

  • Not great especially if he is sending money to girls. It is best to tell him if you are not comfortable with that. If it is just an online "relationship" he will likely find she is not interested as soon as the $ stop coming her way.

  • It’s concerning, he needs to respect your feelings on this

    • I’m afraid of how to bring it up and get him to understand my point of view. Without it feel like I don’t trust him or attacking him

  • A confusing read. Has he actually met these girls and had sex? Or is he just jerking off?

    If he knows them in real life id be concerned. Especially if he had sex with any.

    But if he is just a fanboy clicking and jerking off to hotties online i bvb wouldn't be concerned at all. It depends.

  • A lot of guys enjoy occasionally watching porn. Your boyfriend sounds like he is into more than that and may want to connect with other girls especially the girl who lives far away that he wants to be with. I can understand why you are feeling insecure with him when he says he wants to stay connected with her in case you break up. You could give your relationship a few more months to see how it goes, but I suspect he will not change and he will always make you feel insecure.

    • I’m afraid of how to bring it up and get him to understand my point of view. Without it feel like I don’t trust him or attacking him. Is it concerning that he doesn’t take much interest in my sexting? Especially when in past he was heavy sexing past girls. He used to video sex/phone sex/ send pics but he hasn’t done that with me/surprises me like that. I’ve asked him when we are away from each other I’d like to do it. He just said sometimes he just feels like watching porn instead. I get it, but we haven’t even done it yet though.

    • He does some things that seem serious and things were perfect til I found this out. Now I just feel my insecurity and trust issues coming.

    • I think a good strategy is to let him know your are on his side rather than threatening him. This may be telling him you want to understand what you can do to give him the same kind of pleasure he gets from porn and the girls from his past. Hopefully that will make him forget them. Is he embarrassed to tell you the kinds of things he's into? Is that because he doesn't think you would into them? If you're into anything sexually, tell him, or try new things in bed to demonstrate your willingness. If he's reluctant to tell you, suggest watching some of his porn together so you can better understand what he likes. If he still wants to chat with other women after you try all that, he may have to find a new girlfriend.

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  • The problem is you’re both in that kind of a situation together dirty stuff you should completely stay away from it and get him away from it

  • Can you say "manipulator" and I did not even quite finish story. If you continue on with the guy it may get worse.

  • Give it more time an see how things work out

  • You are not wrong, he’s sharing his sexual energy and it should be all yours.

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Home >  Sexual Relationships  > Guys, Am I just starting to let my insecuritiy get to me? by the way I’m his first girlfriend ever? Read info? 6 months relationship?