*ATTENTION BDSM LOVERS* - What is your "Safe Word"?

Question

WHAT IS A SAFE WORD?  A safe word is a single word that will immediately stop your BDSM scene right then and there.  WHY ARE SAFE WORDS IMPORTANT?  It could be a number of things, the most important being that the scene may have gone too far and you have experienced a level of pain or discomfort above and beyond what you had anticipated. GOOD AND BAD SAFE WORDS - KNOW THE DIFFERENCE What is a good vs bad safe word?  Did you know that not all words are good to use as a safe word? For instance you would never want to use "STOP" or "NO". But why not you ask? Let's say that you are roll-playing a scene about "being forced to have sex" ... you know, the "R" word. You'd really be surprised at what the surveys show about how many girls fantasize about that. In fact it is #1 on her list of fantasies... no, I am not kidding! Exploring the Top Ten Fantasies of all Time! So if you are playing that, you have to ask yourself - what words are going to be commonly used in that roll-play scene?  How about "NO" or "Stop"? But in that scene those words will make his attack even more intense and will serve to just excite and stimulate him to get even more dominant. Yes, you must pick a word that will most likely not be used in whatever BDSM experience you are having that evening, right?  THE TRAFFIC LIGHT SYSTEM  Now, let's talk about the traffic light system of safe wording. It is really pretty easy and self explanatory. Here goes... If you say "Green" to your partner, that means, "I am loving this! Keep going!" "YELLOW" means, "I want to keep going but slow it down a bit, it has reached my threshold, so don't escalate it any further". "RED" means "STOP IMMEDIATELY, IT'S OVER, I QUITE, YOU NO LONGER HAVE MY CONSENT!" So I was prompted to do this post by a sweet GAG member who asked me what I thought of her trying a forced sex scene. I forgot to tell her to be sure to pick a safe word.  So, this post is just for you my sweet friend :)

yann-47 · Accepted Answer

I think that you forgot to say that, the most important thing is that the submissive needs to be comfortable choose. For beginner Stop can be a good option because learn the color system or have the reflex to use an uncommon word can be hard in the moment for a beginner. But I agree that use no as a safe word is not possible because if as a Dom I ask a question to my sub and she want it need to answer no it is confusing.

It also depends on the type of dynamic. If it the submissive enjoy a lot what’s happening there is not reason to say Stop. With a brat (Someone who likes to disobey) or someone who likes to resist, an special safeword should be used.

Moreover you didn't mention that safoword can be a gesture/sign, in case the submissive is unable to talk or move. An object can also be placed in the hand and dropped to stop the action.

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

I'm just gonna leave this right here...

chrissykerdock · Accepted Answer

when i had a partner for that we had it under control... often i'd take a paddle spanking and that was until my ass turned bright red... and then he'd get his blowjob... we also did chain a small chain in my crack that actually felt good because it gave me shocks through my ass somehow... that was never pain where you needed to stop... then there was the belt where i agreed to 20 lashes each time and that was followed by a blowjob... my partner loved blowjobs after a whipping or a spanking... so if there was a safety it was just ok or enough and of course i had to give the blowjob no matter what... i liked it that way as well... and i was often in a panties gater belt nylon heels type outfit... sometimes totally nude... definitely got adrnelaine rushes from the activity and very high alert and felt extemely sexual and hot.

Ez-Bri-Z · Accepted Answer

I dont do pain, but I do get involved with scenes that involve dom/sub dynamics. Typically if I'm getting out of my comfort zone we roll with a traffic light system.

DeeDeeDeVour · Answer

Not intended as safe words but I can recall "too much!" and/or "too far!" and/or "enough!" have blasted outta my mouth occasionally.

sophiejo · Answer

Traffic light system is my usual depends who I'm doing the scene with if it's my regular partner we are very experienced together and don't tend to need one as we know what eachother enjoys and our soft and hard limits and if we ever push those consent will always be obtained first so "safe words" aren't really needed for our dynamic

Ms_Vanderquack · Answer

It depends on my sub, how experienced they are, and my relationship to them.

Jaximus-Lion · Answer

B: I have done BDSM scenes and did have a safe word picked out in case it was needed. But i used it once in all these years. The Mrs is not a fan even though i beged her to hurt me more but NOPE. The word was (peach) and i used it because my chest hair started burning and it was close to the beard 🤣