Boyfriend went to a brothel, how do I trust him again?

[Anonymous]

I have been with my boyfriend for nine months and I love him, but I recently found out in July he got drunk and with some encouragement from his friend saying it was emotionless and it wasn't cheating but he did cheat. i feel really destroyed by this but decided to give him a chance, as he told me around three weeks later mainly because I knew something was wrong plus he was concerned about stds even tho he wore a condom. He has been checked and he's fine, so we are both clean. He has done this once but I did find he looked on different websites after this happen so I asked him was he tempted and he said no, just curious which doesn't ease me. our relationship when this happened was great, we booked a holiday a week before this happened and talked about buying a house, sex life was great and we had no arguments. He said it was a stupid drunk mistake but I did tell him if he does this again then we are over for good as I already overlooked the fact he did the same thing before we was official (but as we wasn't officially dating I overlook it). i thought I would forget and move on quickly because I'm not the nasty type but for some reason this has really destroyed me, I don't want to leave him. I really want us to work. So I'm just wondering has anyone been through the same thing? I don't want comments saying I should leave him. Right now I'm a emotional mess because this has completely blind sighted. If anyone boyfriend or girlfriend had a one night stand how did u get over?

[8hardinches]

guys are into girls. Deal with it.

[Greentulips]

My husband has cheated on me too. It is incredibly difficult to deal with all the torturous feelings alone. If you and your man have a solid relationship though you should clue him in to your upset feelings. If he can't handle the feelings or he doesn't show compassion to you then chances are you guys don't have anything to save. He must feel the guilt and be tortured by it too or you need to get out. Your heart should not be the only one being risked in a relationship, and if he doesn't understand that betrayal has consequences like a broken heart you should protect yours and leave. He will cheat again simply because he can if he feels no guilt.