Do women need cuddles more than penetration?

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend says she loves to cuddle with me and hug and kiss.
When I'm on top of her and kissing , she also gets orgasms , maybe due to dry humping.

When I rub her pussy, its wet as a lake. So I know she is very turned on. But she doesn't seem so interest in penetrative sex.

Sometimes, all we do is cuddle and hug and she seems satisfied. Although, i am completely ok with non-penetrative sex since I also don't have too much of a high sex drive.
But this behavior from her seems different.

Do other women also like cuddling more than penetrative sex?

[Analinda1999]

technically all humans must prefer contact to penetration. no one could sustain penetration the amount they can just touch. if you tried, your dick would stop working.

most human beings touch way more than they penetrate. you might look forward to penetration more c its not as frequent as touch but i doubt ultimately you would choose it over contact. imagine if you only went in and out and nothing else. it'd be boring and impersonal.

the body has so many sensitive spots and when you're touched you release chemicals that make you happy calm and fight disease. we are physically geared towards receptiveness to human touch, there is a reward system in place. it keeps us healthy.

[Anonymous]

Well, penis in vagina sex is rarely orgasmic for women, so a lot of women get kind of bored of it if it's just the same old in-n-out all the time, especially if we aren't lubricated and well aroused before you start.

What you really need to do is talk to your girlfriend about why she seems not all that into sex with you. Don't make it about pressure for her to like it more. Make this a journey of discovery where you truly listen to her talk about her past experiences, her feelings, her needs and desires. Try to leave your assumptions at the door such as: "My girlfriend right now doesn't seem interested in sex, so maybe that means ALL women don't like it." Set those notions aside.

[lord_chilled]

Your first paragraph kinda conflicts with your second one.

[Opinion Owner]

@lord_chilled In what way?

[lord_chilled]

You said p in v is rarely irgasmic and women get bired of it over time. If thata the case, then " need to do is talk to your girlfriend about why she seems not all that into sex with you. Make this a journey of discovery where you truly listen to her talk about her past experiences, her feelings, her needs and desires." is kind of irrelevant isn't it, in regarda to vaginal sex. So its better to just focus on foreplay, oral sex and other stuff that gets her off, and then lady just lets him do vaginak sex to get him off

[lord_chilled]

*orgasmic *bored *thats *regards *vaginal I really need to check my spelling before posting 😂

[Opinion Owner]

@lord_chilled No. It's better to ASK her what's up, and what SHE needs, not just do something else and hope it works. It may very well be that this asker is a bastard who beats her and what she needs is to GTFO, not get her business fingered. I mean, that's an extreme example. But none of us should just assume what she needs. SHE gets to have voice here, or she should get to, any way. (Asker, I don't actually imagine you're an abuser, that was just to make the point.)

[lord_chilled]

Thats a dumbass point you were making. If the asker was selfish and especially an abuser he wouldn't be here asking a question.. And not all girls love talking about whats bothering them during sex. A lot of them completely avoid it at all costs. You may think that most girls would talk and sort it iut, but thats not the case. And boys aren't stupid, were not just gonna stick a finger in the vagina, we do realize when you are uncomfortable.

[Opinion Owner]

@lord_chilled So, then... what? DON'T ask her to talk about it and figure things out? I don't know that she's bored by vaginal sex, that was just a suggestion. We don't know what is up with her. No one knows, because, no one is asking her. He's here asking US. I gave my best guess is all. Then I encouraged him to have good, healthy, loving communication with her - between them. I know it isn't always easy. But it IS the right way to approach this. So, in all honesty, what in sam hell are you talking about LC? Really. What? What was actually objectionable to you about my suggestion he ask her what's going on? Should he just read her mind? Should he just guess? Should he just decide to do whatever he thinks is right and move forward on it without finding out if it's even in the ballpark? What, really, is it that YOU are suggesting? NOTHING conflicts about what I said. You just don't seem to get the point.

[lord_chilled]

Why are you getting so butthurt over this? This isn't personal between me and you. I said your first paragraph and your second dont match because the first described about how vaginal wasn't always good for girls (which is a womans problem, we can't do anything about it, mind you) And then in your second oaragraoh you are telling him to talk and figure it out. That doesn't seem right? Why does he have to do that? Everything else he does is cool and working. So maybe its her turn to do something about it? Why doesn't she talk to him about ehat she wants and what would make vaginal better?

[lord_chilled]

No he can't read her mind. Should he just guess? Maybe, I don't know. If she isn't talking, then what else is there to do. If she is willing to have that conversation then okay, but plenty of girls dont, and if she isn't having it, what should he do? I just dont like the way how he has to do everything, even regarding things that aren't exactly his problem. Some of you ladies need to put in some work. It takes two to tango

[Opinion Owner]

@lord_chilled I'm not butthurt, you just weren't making a bit of sense. So, now that you explained, let's unpack this. 1. Not being orgasmic through PIV is not a "problem", it's the most common state of being for human women. It's not anything wrong with us, and it doesn't need to be fixed. I wasn't asking of men that they magically make a way for us to orgasm from PIV. It is only perceived as a problem because a Psychiatrist who did not know women's anatomy made up a new type of "orgasm" and then began a century of thinking women should all be able to have vaginal orgasms. Women thought it. Men thought it. Doctors thought it. But it turns out Freud was just mistaken about the mechanism of female orgasm. We know better now, but the word has not gotten around to everyone. I get people angry and screaming at me for talking about the actual, known, studied, documented facts about how female orgasm works. They want to cling to the myth sooooo hard. I don't get it. Cont'd.

[Opinion Owner]

2. I suggested HE talk to HER because HE is here right now posting about some sexual dissatisfaction between them. If SHE had been here, I would have probably just talked to her myself in DM's. Then, similarly, encourage her to talk with him - shared communication, all voices heard - to see if THEY together can figure out how to have some better sex. Because better sex = worth the work, for both of them. I'm not shoving it all off on him, and I am really not sure how you got that idea. I DO think that, because of a lot of the sex shaming women live with, it is hard to open up, and it does take some effort on the man's part to make the woman feel comfortable to be honest. And it works both ways, because there are also a lot of guys who find it hard to be frank about sex stuff (my husband is like that) and I worked quite hard to make him feel like he's safe to be really open with me, and now he is. Cont'd.

[Opinion Owner]

3. If she won't talk it over, there are several things he can do. And if he comes back here and tells me he has tried to talk to her but it didn't work, then I can walk him through about 9 or 10 different options. I am a trained sexual health educator, and a recognized lecturer on the science of the female orgasm, as well as other topics, where I take all the current science (well, as much as I can track down) and turn it into a fun, frank, and bawdy talk for interested adults. I also spent years designing programs and materials for teens and young adults. I coach small groups and couples also. That's where I am coming from. I want this guy and his lady to have a great sex life that fulfills them both, honors and uplifts each of them, and brings them closer. That's my agenda. You seem really triggered by what I said, and I am honestly not sure why.

[lord_chilled]

You know what, you are right. My bad, maybe i took it out of context, and i took it personal. Sorry, i was wrong, and you are right. What yoy said makes sense.

[Opinion Owner]

@lord_chilled De nada. Relationships are not 50/50. Relationships are each person giving 100% of what they have to give to make things flourish.

[morelikeus]

Maybe speak for yourself? I absolutely love penetration and so does like every girl i know. Maybe you don't like it because you're too old and maybe it has gotten loose? It's not the same as 'in and out' every time, that's like saying eating food is boring because it's just eating, because it depends on what food you're eating, or in this case what type of sex you're having. Penetration is very intimate and enjoyable, don't say 'most women' next time just speak for yourself. Us straight women love penetration and it's definitely not something boring.

[Opinion Owner]

@morelikeus I wasn't speaking for anyone. I was quoting women who already spoke - in repeated studies. I never said there aren't women who love penetration. You're reading something into my words that I didn't say, imply or mean. HIS woman doesn't enjoy it, according to him, and I suggested a common reason. To tell someone that most women do not orgasm from simple PIV alone is just a statement reflecting the current data. Only about 30% of women can orgasm from simple PIV. Most women need more direct clitoral stimulation. And seriously, you felt the need to try to insult me because of this? And with some myth you believe about female anatomy? Was I insulting you or invalidating your experience? No.

[morelikeus]

Yeah i went with just clit stimulation for a long time with no penetration, it gets boring and less sensitive. It's like the same clockwise motions on the clit just like the 'ins and out' of the dick like you said, remember? At least with penetration both parties get pleasure. But yeah, penetration is the best part of sex, if you like clit stimulation why even have sex with a man? Just a find a woman and rubs clits together or go solo, seems like you don't need a dick to be satisfied.

[Opinion Owner]

@morelikeus Are you aware that all female orgasms originate in the clitoris, and that the clitoris isn't just the glans and shaft you can locate on the outside?

Read this: onlinelibrary.wiley.com/.../abstract
And this: www.psychologytoday.com/.../the-orgasm-gap-simple-truth-sexual-solutions
And this: www.psychologytoday.com/.../the-rare-truth-about-tight-and-loose-women

Because you have been deliberately kept from accurate information about your own anatomy, and told things that simply aren't true, you don't understand what I am talking about and you're getting angry at me that the facts don't match what you have been told. I can't fix that for you. But I can keep explaining how the clitoris really works.

Seriously, if you love penetration, that's fantastic. Love it. I love it too, especially if my partner and I have spent enough time on my arousal. Sometimes it's all I need to orgasm.

[helva]

Nothing to compare. Some days or weeks I prefer cuddling and feel totally happy and satisfied with cuddling only wothout orgasming. Some other days I feel a need for orgasming by penetration or oral sex.

[Anonymous]

As a guy I even like and need them both too. But as far as the female is concerned, everyone is diff. My woman is in diff moods. We cuddle and scratch each other’s backs. Sometimes she even likes cuddling when I’m spooning her and my arms wrapped around her and loves when I massage her clit and doesn’t want penetration. She just sometimes wants the closeness and intimate massage feeling and not be poked which is totally fine. And because she knows I like cuddling, she often turns to me too and holds me and gives me a backscratch or reach around. Doesn’t always have to or need to go to penetration especially when one or both is tired or you just want to be in each other’s arms.

[Batman8425]

Women are humans too, just like men. They are not sex machines. So i think they need both... affection and sex, just like any normal humanbeing.

[Asker]

Yeah, but do you think its a bit strange that a woman mostly prefers cuddling more than sex?

[Batman8425]

Quite... But you know everyone is different whether men or woman. Rather call it a taboo

[LunaJ]

well, we can say, you can have sex with anyone.
but you don't want to cuddle, hug n kiss passionately anyone but your loved one only.
so, this shows the emotional connection to us.

[lilaqua]

Haha, no.

[Asker]

So what do u think she behaves this way?

[lilaqua]

I have not idea

[snowshy]

Both. Not even a question

[Bippwatt]

Everyone makes a big deal out of penetrative sex, but it's not really all it's cracked up to be. Admittedly, I'm working off of a small sample size here, but in my experience, I can count on one hand the number of times penitrative fulfilled both me and my ex. And most times, we'd been building up to it for at least a good hour. When it was quick and rushed, it almost never worked. (Not that we did it that way much...)

[EpicDweeb]

It truthfully depends on the girl and what the girl wants. Not all girls want sex more not all girls want cuddles more... but virtually all women want both. In general I'd say cuddles wins out. But... not always.

[SarahsSummer]

I think there is a time for both but I have yet to orgasm from cuddling.

[PrincessPie]

I need cuddles.
Most would want both though they're pretty different and can't really be compared.

[Elliegirl]

I like both, but sometimes I’d rather just cuddle.

[sawno]

Even as a man I need cuddles more then penetration, penetration i have an alternative to but a cuddle can only really have an effect with someone you love.
Obviously i would want great sex, but while i can masturbate nothing can replace a good cuddle.

[MayBlythe]

Most of us need both

[GingerGuy]

I think it very much depends. I've known women that aren't into cuddling at all, or very little.

[HonestGirlAlways]

It’s two completely different things. You can’t really compare that. I mean I love both in different ways.

[AnotherUser]

Also you can have both at the same time.

[Germanium]

@AnotherUser Haha I actually read a forum somewhere where a bunch of woman/girls were complaining that when they cuddle their boyfriend, it almost always leads to sex and they find it annoying when they sincerely just want to cuddle.

[dwiller943]

Depends on the woman. But for me, yes. I prefer cuddling.

[Nina12346]

Maybe she likes just spending time with you and talking that's why she wants to cuddle

[jimjam567]

It all depends on a person's mood. Sometimes u just need some cuddles and other times u need to satisfy her sexual desires

[Volvagia]

i dont need cuddles, i needa get fucked

[Prima_Dana]

I want both.

[Iamaguy4real]

She playing, move on

[smølf]

The women I have been with needed both, it's no difference than liking to be eaten out, this doesn't mean penetrative sex is not wanted as well.

[Kiran04]

Who cares? XD