Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health Do you agree with the statement: Men fall in love through sex, women fall in sex through love?
Anonymous
Do you agree that men are biologically wired to seek out sex in order to spread his genes and that women are biologically wired to seek out many admirers/lovers to choose the most compatible? Which explains the frustration that one gender has for the opposite, that men need sex in order to love and that women need love in order to comply to sex
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What Girls & Guys Said
33 102Women don't love... not in the same way men do.
Men love the women they choose to enter into a relationship with.
Women love themselves and what they can get out of their relationship. If they feel their rewards are diminishing they'll choose another.
Men sacrifice themselves. They jump in with both feet.
Women are self-indulgent. They dip a toe in while constantly checking the color of the grass on the other side of the fence.
Sexual attraction is the bait. All women know this. It is the disingenuous theatrical performance of contentment with the man that is like a black widow's web that women use to snag their prey. Of course sex is what lures men in but it's not what keeps them there or drives their feelings.
My contention is this. Men need sex. That is a given.
Women need control and security. They do everything they can to gain control of the man's mind, his time, and finances. When she has battered his soul long enough that the man she chose no longer exists, she gets bored and again seeks many admirers/lovers.
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus
Venus is a caustic, toxic, fiery hell!
Mars is a pretty cool place!
One is just a little prettier than the other.
Also, how many men do you know who've split up from their woman due to sexual incompatibility? This is far more prevalent with women leaving men. It's a fact
Wow you really hate women don’t you?
Explains why my last girl ran faster the wind and never looked back when I lost my job.
@jean_A that sucks, you deserve someone better than that
Why do you think so? In contrary, that girl thought she deserved better. Do you think that there are whomen that doesn't matter about such things? I would love to find them. What would you suggest. I'm pretty sure the girl doesn't even know herself that this was the reason. Girls want a confident man. But how confident can you be if you don't know for how long you can pay your rent. Also I wanted to switch career. Never heard of her again.
A lot of girls don’t care about such things, you just have to find them
Yes, but where.
I don’t know, they’re everywhere, you just gotta pick them out of the crowd
No, I don't hate women, but I do understand some things about them. Am I wrong? Tell me honestly. Tell me that I am incorrect about a huge percentage of the female population. I'll admit that my statements aren't all inclusive. There are some good ones. I do know this. Women fall in live once, get their hearts broken, then their search criteria dramatically changes. It is no longer 'head-over-heels' love that drives them. They may hope for it but it is no longer the most important thing. Traits and value take over. Father material? Can he provide $ security/earning potential? Social status? Attentive to her needs? True love moves way down in importance. Women fall for 'what's in it for me?' Men fall in love. We look past your faults and self-indulgences.
Dude it's true. But you have to realize they probably don't feel that way. For them it feels like the same love they felt earlier. It's like beautiful girls with beautiful smiles. We tend to idealise them. So they with riche guys. They seems confident (duh!) and fun to be with (they can pay for expensive dinners)
janna_jcb What jean_A described to you is a pretty typical story. This is what I was getting at. I know a ton of guys with similar stories, myself included. It doesn't mean I hate women. It means that I am very careful to not underestimate womens' motivations. There are a ton of women with a clear agenda that does not involve a loving relationship. I just want young guys to understand that they need to be cautious. I would love to find a woman who could make me eat these words. Men crave connection. Men get lonely. Men want to love. What we want and deserve is to be loved back... not used.
I'd like to ask the ladies a couple of quick questions that may shed some light on what we're saying. After your first love, what changes did you make? What changed in what was attractive to you? Over time, how have your tastes changed towards men? How have your tastes evolved? Which things seem attractive to you that really didn't matter before? How have you prioritized these traits in terms of what makes a suitable mate? I can tell you this. Men's tastes don't really change much. What attracts you at 18 years old will be attractive at 50. What is unattractive at 18 will still be unattractive at 50. Can the same be said for womens' tastes?
@roughedges I’m only 15 so I can’t answer all your questions, but I did have one serious relationship. This did change my attitude towards men, because I felt betrayed by my ex and he really hurt me. I don’t trust guys that much anymore. As for your preferences changing: I think that makes sense. If you were really annoyed by a certain trait of your SO during the relationship, you are going to look for someone who doesn’t have that trait. The same goes for traits that you did like, you’ll think more positively of people who have that trait.
It's easy to write it off as lessons learned. This is the typical explanation given by the majority of women. I expect that this is true for some, to a certain extent, but I still stand by my earlier statements about re-prioritizing desired criteria. There are thousands of women who go through a bored phase, or mid-life crisis, that proves that the feelings were never as deep as they'd luke everyone to believe. You seem pretty sharp (as displayed by your writing style). Pay attention to those around you. I think you'll find it interesting, even scary, how many women will fit the description I've laid out. This can be an eye opener. Use what you learn to guide your future. There are too many relationships that are doomed before they ever get started. It's just a matter of time.
Follow your heart, not your innate urge to qualify a guy as an ideal provider, and don't be fooled by this instinct! You may have a chance at a loving lifelong relationship. LOVE is the only thing that can ensure happiness. Financial security, material possessions, and self-indulgences cannot.
the only think men fall in love with, is their dick... men are sex obsessed creeps and the fact that you wrote that men need sex, instaed of men want sex even further proves this... no wonder most sex creeps, rapists etc are men, so disgusting argh
That is just not at all true. You are talking about boys. And yes, sexual contact is a biological need. There is no logical argument that can be made that can rebut that fact. If it wasn't for this instinctive drive the species would not survive. I don't care how pissed off you got reading what I wrote. Your argument is emotional and illogical, and has no basis in fact. If your experiences have lead you to feel this way, you have only been exposed to immature guys, players, or possibly men who've given up on finding one of the good ones due to the way they've been treated by ex's.
janna-jcb If you want to see someone who hates take a look at purple1. That's hate! Hate like that doesn't come from someone who's only been part of relationships. Hate like that comes from someone who has either dated a cheater, in which case she now hates all men, she's spent a lot of time playing the field in all of the wrong places (bars, college parties, etc.), or is a feminist. All which attract only scumbags and repels good guys. I'd definitely run
Purple1. Don't mix up sex and love. We don't do that either. Sex is a fun activity. Love comes from a whole different place. And you will have to learn that too. If you still think sex and love are one, then you are looking for love with lust. It's nice to have lust in your relationship that can be satisfied, maybe even essential. But for me, I can get satisfied by even the fattest, unkind of girls. But love is hard to find. @roughedges isn't it a crucial part for girls to actually find out that they have the irrational biological urge that doesn't make sense and hurt them all the time? Because it makes it easy to be used by the wrong kind of people. We have to learn the irrational ways of girls too to keep a relationship going. If they don't learn this and just skip to the good part. They will always wonder how it is to fellow their instinct? I don't know 🤷🏾♂️
@roughedges I agree that it is wrong to assume all men are like the wrong guys you’ve been dating. I do understand purple1, because of the men who approach me online. I honestly always assume guys who approach me online have bad intentions and I have never been wrong. But I think that’s okay, since I would like my relationships to be natural and real. I do understand how this limits my dating pool but I think only dating guys I meet in real life works the best for me. And your comment about feminism is plain wrong. What you mean is feminist extremists who are misandrists, men-haters, who are quite something else than feminists like me. I believe men and women are equal and should have the same rights.
Again, although I'll admit that feminism, in the true sense of the word, is fine. There should be equality. I agree completely! But I am not plain wrong. This is not the direction feminism has gone. Feminism has become a men-hating misandrist cult. Extremism is the norm. It has become so bad that people such as yourself should re-brand your belief system. You don't want to be filed under the same label as them. The world is so turned off by them that your message will never be heard. As soon as they hear feminist you will have list them. In fact, your brand would have to be made public, similarities/differences outlined, and a completely new narrative that in no way resembled the vicious rhetoric spewed by feminists. Separate your movement from theirs and you may have hope.
So you’re saying that because there are extremists in the Islam that the non-extremist people should start a new faith and give it a different name? Because that is basically the same thing apart from Islam being a religion and feminism being a political belief
1st of all i don't need to have the experiences with men to know these FACTS i just need to know the statistics, which speak of how men are sex obsessed freaks.. and you are the one that's illogical mister :) it's a fact that sex is not a need but a want... needs are air, food, shelter not sex.. check a dictionary to know the meaning and diff between need and want , kapish? :)
There you are wrong purple. Basic needs are social interaction too. You just have to use some deeper literature then a dictionary.
@jean_A *than... not then.. and you are the wrong one... but no surprise since you belong to the gender of war creators, criminals, creeps.. not saying you specifically are just stating facts
You belong to many kind of Nazis, grammarnazi feminazi. But stay in your ignorant world. Just don't come to reality where we live. We can continue this conversation in Dutch if you prefer.
Really? You are the one who said men are creeps, rapists, andvonly in love with their dicks. You didn't say most or some, which means that you are including all. Wtf makes you think that you have the right to turn that back on to jean_A? You are the nasty one who thinks they can say whatever you want. This is typical leftist b. s.! Leftists believe that any person who disagrees with a leftist or poses a threat to their ability to defend their position by making an irrefutable argument, deserves to be attacked. Leftists are dispicable human beings, as are you! If you can't debate someone rationally, civilly, or without pointing fingers when it is you that stepped out of bounds, your opinion means shit! by the way, what is it with people like you and the disgusting blue hair?
@roughedges her way of communicating has nothing to do with being a leftist. I am a leftist too and I can comment without generalising a gender or another type of group.
You don't sound like what leftists have become. You seem more like a reasonable progressive. Although we probably don't agree on everything, I can respect your positions and opinions. What leftists have become are bullies. They are unreasonable and absolutely cannot stand anyone who doesn't share their beliefs. Just because your beliefs are left leaning does not put you into the same category. Absoluteism is cancer. Leftists are always absolutely convinced that their position is superior, even if they have no idea what they are talking about, and they resort to insults and personal attacks when they start to drown.
*drown in their ignorance!
Plus, I disagree. Her way is the way of the evolving left. It's sad!
For rightists goes the same. Every single person in the world thinks that their opinion is the right one. Some people are more ignorant about it than others. There are just as many and as aggressive rightist as there are leftists
I think that you'll see different over time. As you meet more people, and are exposed to people whose views are more conservative then your own, I think you'll be surprised how willing to listen to others' view they are. by the way, I dislike the far right as much as the extremist left. Believe it or not, I am pretty socially liberal... but not in the same sense as many who call themselves liberal. I made a distinction. You did not. Maybe I was wrong about you.
So so do you call yourself a leftist or a rightist?
I don't call myself either. I would consider myself a centrist
It summerizes the eternal duality of mars and venus quiet well unfortunately.
However a man can be master of his own third leg and when i sense personality mismatch usually i just go home and satisfy myself instead...
For some but I know women that need sex and I know men who don't need sex
Those men should meet dixit ASAP 😁 lol
That's doctor*
Love dogs, you sure do have a cute one.
No I don't we have evolved physically mentally and biologically that's a get out clause for cheats
No and yes men are wired up to seek sex but girls aren't wired up to find someone who's compatible with them, they're wired to find someone with the ability to provide for them.
But they both fall for the person.
Yes it seems legit
men separate sex from love completely.
😐 ... then i am very good at resisting my "biological wiring".
I personally didn't need to have sex to fall in love
Nope
This isn't always true you can love someone with out first having sex
Yeah it’s true
You gonna get a lot of dislikes so here a like
@100lbguy thank you
I think it depends on the individual.
I agree for the most part.
No don't think so
Well I don't need sex at all to fall in love.. So.. Not everyone need sex to love someone
Not at all. When i have been in love with girls, i have wanted sex with them. I was more inlove and they failed.
A girl i was seeing last year was in love with me but i wasn't with her sadly although she was great. She wanted sex with me multiple times a day.
Personally i think it depends on the individual. But anyone in love will want sex from my experiences.
Absolutely
We both do it for a reason and fight to keep it I try I am a gemini
This is a good question.
Though I do not agree. I believe that because of the influence in society, ethics and culture we have evolved to look for more meaning and have strayed from the path of life being about reproduction and some may say that love is not real.
My own opinion is that love may or may not be a truth (I'm on the fence). This leads me to believe that love is more like a myth in the form of an emotion that most want to experience with another person. Love is something that i feel has been adopted and has been adapting ever since man created it. I don't think love is nature. Sex is nature. Love has been created to give people more value and purpose.
Some Men may seem to only experience love through sex, but they probably feel more valuable after they perform what society expects from them.