I first became interested in bdsm at an early age long before 50 shades. Never did I think it would appeal to women's deepest wants so pervasively. But as overrated as it may seem at its very core it serves a very valid fundamental and basic psychological need for both men and women as bdsm plays on a very particular core belief system in Psychology. we always want the most what we can't have or don't get. sometimes that being too little sex or not enough engagement. the brain gets used to the same stimulation after a while and sees it as just normal sensation. Bdsm puts empathsis on the term play. the idea is that the more rougher sometimes forced acts require us to sit and endure things which involve too much sensation and the brain shys away from naturally. the idea is that the more pain you can endure the more pleasure you can experience by allowing yourself to sit and be comfortable with things that are otherwise uncomfortable. the psychology behind this is concrete in our nature in the way we take in and percieve stimulus too much or too little. the very core of this is not likely to change in our evolution. The psychology of it in question has multiple extremes both positive and negative. think in terms of E=mc2. your brain is elastic and stretches around which it becomes familiar with. Lack of touch or stimulus for women can and often results in an unconscious desire to engage in acts that are more rough, forced or require more pressure and stimulus. both sexual and non-sexual. Your body and mind might shy away from the idea or acts in question at first but the idea and physical acts are forced. This the brain eventually becomes used too. The pain itself allows the mind and body to become more open once it has had time to process feelings of pain. the skin becomes more sensitive and open to harder physical touch and therefore the pleasure becomes greater. Think of it as your parents telling you to eat veggies you don't like because their good for you. similar concept. It is not so much a physical act on the body but an act of play on the psyche and sensations.
I don't think it's overrated, I just think that people don't really understand what BDSM actually is. 50 Shades of Grey is constantly cited as being a person's (namely female's) interests into exploring the BDSM lifestyle but they're completely ignorant to the fact that the relationship in 50 Shades of Grey was actually abusive. This is not at all how a D/s relationship should be, or is, and people need to educate themselves.
No, it's not "overrated." It can be fun and enjoyable if both partners are into it and on the same page. There are many different aspects of BDSM so not everyone will like the same things. Therefore, it's important to find someone who shares your desires and will be open-minded to what you want. There's nothing wrong with BDSM as long as it is consensual and practiced safely by people who understand it. It requires a lot of trust and communication.
50 shades and how BDSM is presented in other types of popular media are not always good representations of reality. If someone is curious about any type of BDSM, they should just be sure to research it and talk to people who have firsthand experience with whatever it is they want to try.
I've been into BDSM for years and I love it. I don't think it's overrated and I think people are confused about BDSM. There are so many fetishes and elements to BDSM.
I've never seen 50 Shades of Grey because it sounded like wannabe BDSM.
Secretary, is petty accurate, for that type of play. However, not everyone is into that particular play or taking BDSM out of the bedroom and living BDSM 24/7
Like I said, there's so many elements to BDSM
50 shades isn't BDSM. It's a really distorted and inaccurate depiction of what actual BDSM is. Also, most people think BDSM (or however 50 shades depicts it to be) as a kink that's sick and twisted so I'm not sure why you'd say it's overrrated. If anything, people choosing to remain uneducated in terms of what BDSM actually entails leaves it being underrated.
so what do you consider it to be
I would say based on my personal and professional vast knowledge based on first hand research over the course of several years starting in early 2000, your half right. 50 Shades is a very poorly loosely translated spoofed up and highly elicited representation of what BDSM IS and what it ISN'T. BDSM is multi-faceted and multi-layered steeped in undertones of inert bits and pieces of human psychology and sexuality. There are actually 4 parts to the term, the sick and twisted depiction you are speaking off and see the worst of at the end of the movie is the "S" sadist. "a person who derives pleasure, especially sexual gratification, from inflicting pain or humiliation on others." which usually does not come out of interest but much deeper-seated psychological problems stemming from abuse that comes in many variations and forms. I agree with the statement that you made about choosing to be uneducated. My first experience with it was in early 2001 at the age of 16.
(continued) - In which even at that age I fully understood the implications behind it and throughly studied the psychology behind it's many facets. In short the psychology behind it is about extreme opposites that of which we are used too. The concept of play much like childhood play is still present except the roles and ways in which that play takes form is flipped. The way that our brains interpret such as play remains the same. It is the play factor that remains important, how it happens is almost irrelevant and usually for adults is in a sexually charged nature. Bondage and Submission in it's truest form serves the well being of the human psyche on many levels not necessarily concurrent with our wants on a mental level but more so a part of our needs in some cases depending. Most directly the similar such "forced" acts serve to put us in said positions to ensure that certain tougher lessons are learned and understood that we would not otherwise experience if not by force.
BDSM in actual representation is fucked up. I thought I was into it but from the looks of it, it looks like a ton of pain. Dunno. It's overrated if it's soft, but BDSM has to be the point to injuring you until you remove consent.
Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions
What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!I've been in the scene for decades and definitely do NOT think it's overrated.
I disagree. The non hardcore stuff is quite fun.
50 shades shows bdsm wrong. If you actually practise bdsm it's not like them movies. It's not for everyone but it is kinky and fun
BDSM seems like something rarely outside of porn. I imagine it would be really awkward to be all macho and outside of character when doing BDSM.
Nope. BDSM and other kinky sex (work uniforms on girls for me) are incredibly satisfying.
50 shades of grey is not based on bdsm lmfao he abuses that shit and raped her after she expressed that she didn't want it.
If you have no experience on it then you can't assume it's not interesting or overrated 🤗
Yeah.. those movies... not BDSM. Simply not.
Just like Hollywood is not a very good description of explosions and gun fire, it's also not a very good way to learn about bdsm.
BDSM looks fun. 50 shades of grey is not really BDSM lol.
I do not. BDSM is kinky and sexy!!
It is.
50 Shades is what non BDSM peeps think BDSM is.
If you expect what you see in the movies, yes it's overrated
50 Shades is just abuse
Me and my girlfriend do BDSM. It's fairly hot, but that's just us
Fifty Shades of Grey is bullshit take it from a dominant man and don't make message me and ask for a question because I'm telling you it's bullshit
bdsm is just a legal version of rape. its what low key rapists are into.
I've participated in it a couple of times, and really wanted to like it, but it was just a dud for me.
Heck No, BDSM is badass
naah.50 shades of grey isn't bdsm though
by the way i love bdsm
You must be a troll if you think BDSM is overrated
No experience. Has an opinion. Noted.
Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
Most Helpful Guys