Am I wrong for leaving my girlfriend of two years, because she did not disclose to me that she had been a stripper and prostitute in her past?

Question

So here is the story, I have been with this woman for two years. She works in marketing as an analyst. she's Very good at her job, she's very smart, very beautiful. All qualities i look for in a woman. However one of her female friends was over last night and casually mentioned "I miss when we both got paid for sex" My girlfriend panicked and changed the subject, but suffice it to say it was on my mind.

After her friend left, i confronted her about it, i asked her what it meant. we sat down and she told me. She indicated that she used to be a stripper at a full contact place, and she often let her "Clients" pay her to take her home with her. She only did it for a few years while she was in college, and hasn't done it since. She said that she didn't tell me because an ex was abusive to her when she told him. I told her that it was not an excuse, and that i needed to think.

I know i asked if im wrong for leaving, But i haven't left yet, I want to. She couldn't trust me with this part of her, and because of that she omitted it, And as a result, i feel like i cannot trust her any more. It leads me to think "What else is she lying about, What else is she hiding, If she really loved me she would have told me in the beginning" Worse, What if parts of her past, Ex "Clients" Come out of the wood work, What if they try to hold it against us or our family if we had one. I am lost.

Little_Bumblebee · Accepted Answer

If you don't want to continue a relationship, you can leave it.

If you do love her, I would advise to talk about it first with her. Maybe ask her about whether she would have kept it to herself, or if she planned on telling you when she got ready.
That is, if it's only the "lying" that bothers you.

It is something huge, ut I also get why she didn't tell you right at the beginning. But it would have been best to disclose maybe before you started to get intimate or at least around that time.

You can choose.
You can sit down and talk this through, all you worries, ask her about them, if she had a complete cut with that life, and what about clients and all that.

Or you can just say it's too much for you to handle.
It's up to you.

If she lied directly to you, saying she had only 3 partners f. example, then I definitely understand why that would be much harder to get over and forgive.

Abbycado · Accepted Answer

Doesn’t matter what we think. It matters if it was the right move for you.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

A lot of girls are doing sex work, OF... some for fun, some for an expensive lifestyle, paying for college. However, they should disclose them later in life but they get scared that someone with a clean past or the kinda guy they want to date later in life will not accept it. This lying is terrible. You don't owe her anything and neither does she. Not everyone will be compatible and that's fine. You should think this hard if you care more about her than her past sex life. Relationship sex and being a hooker can be different to some and some consider as the same. Many can have more body count than a hooker. At last if it really hurt you then you should leave or at least take some time apart.

Tim2nice · Accepted Answer

If it’s too much for you then just leave her. But you might regret it and lose her. Take some time to think about that

Samantha36 · Answer

No you aren't wrong. It's your decision what is a deal breaker for you.

slatyb · Answer

You are stupid and judgmental.

CrabCakes11 · Answer

Leave. She deserves better than an insecure asshole who thinks not disclosing past sex work is lying

sheikalana · Answer

You're not wrong.

elizamichale1 · Answer

Ofcourse u r... what matters is if she is into u seriously or not what's done is done

Makeushiver · Answer

Are you sure its worth sacrificing something that is good now because she npreviously been earning money because she needed the money. If she doesn't cheat on you now and you get along well, why let the pasta something she. can't change no. matter how much either of you want. I think it would ne. a. signmof. serious maturity if you cold put that behind both of you. I'm sure when egrets not & is very sensitive to your reaction. You van take the high road or low road.

worldscolide · Answer

Honestly its up to you, I know if i were in your shoes, id be concerned about trustworthiness as well as disease. The dishonesty above all is the deal breaker for me.