Sexually frustrated, am I in the wrong?

[Anonymous]

I’m in need of some advice, me and my boyfriend have always had a pretty good sex life, we currently have sex around 2-3 times a week. The only issue we’ve had is he tends to cum way faster than I do and he doesn’t seem to care if I get there or not. At one point things seemed to be better by him making me cum during foreplay, this has stopped over the last few months. After our last session he had cum very quickly and I still hadn’t came. I tried talking to him about it and he said that i take too long to cum and he wasn’t going to try. Is there something i could do on my end to get there quicker? Or is there a way to prolong him from cumming as fast?

[zeitgeist057]

I would just stop having sex with him. Flip it, if I'm having sex with a woman and I make her cum, and then she stops and says "okay I'm done" before I cum, that's frustrating. Okay if it happens once and there's some issue, I'm not going to insist she have sex with me if she doesn't want to, but if it's an ongoing thing where she gets off then bails on me every time, I'm just not interested in having sex with her, she's selfish and it's obvious she could give two shits about me and my pleasure. I don't want a lover like that.

I would be willing to have a conversation about it, maybe there's some way to have both our needs met. Like if she was completely exhausted after cumming, I get that. But it sounds like you've tried to come up with a solution like him making you cum during foreplay. To be brutally honest, it sounds like he takes you for granted, isn't putting in effort, and is just using you to as a cum bucket and tossing you off to the side when he's done.

If you can't resolve this with him, I would suggest either opening up the relationship to add another man who satisfies you sexually, or dump him entirely for a new man.

You could try some things to keep him from cumming too fast. One would be to start shaming him during sex. Like a few minutes in (not sure how fast he is cumming, but before then) start talking to him in a normal tone saying things like "are you going to blow your load super fast again? Can you maybe try to last a little bit longer this time? You're not a very good lover and you don't turn me on with your minute man routine. Were you the type that would jizz in your pants when a girl touched your arm in high school?" That's actually probably not super helpful and may cause a fight, but this guy is being a selfish jerk so if he doesn't get an orgasm maybe he'll start to see it as an "us" problem and not just a "you" problem.

[Mr_twoface]

I would recommend that next time you are about to have sex, just say, either you make me come or masturbate on your own! In a relationship, both partners must equally put in the effort to satisfy each other’s needs and wants. His negative attitude that “you take too long to come and he ain’t trying it”, is not only sad but also it is unrespectful towards you as his better half. By refusing sex until he satisfies you, might seem harsh, but it’s a way for you both to receive pleasure and for him to understand as a man he can’t just demand things according to his wish.

On your end, maybe involve a sex toy and ask him to perform it on you just the way you like it, whilst he is satisfying you so it can make you come sooner. Alternatively use cock-ring or pro-long gel to keep the erection continuously hard so his ejaculation becomes somewhat delayed. You can also do the stop-play-technique, where you stimulate him to almost ejaculating and then holding the dick hard so the sperm goes back, then stimulating him again and just before ejaculation, do the same move by holding his penis tight… This can make him pro-long the ejaculation. Another option would be to let him ejaculate before sex so he can have an erection whilst fcking you but takes him longer time to come.

[DishLady]

(1) He's being a jerk if he's complaining he's not going to try because you take too long... this sort of thing is a 2-way street.

(2) Drink more water... relax more... don't give him everything and then expect him to work on you.

(3) You know LUBE? Use it. My goodness.

[KarinMcDonald]

Just tell him he's not getting any until he gives you an orgasm during foreplay. That will give him some incentive. If he balks and says "he'll get it somewhere else", , , tell him fine. You'll do the same.

[slatyb]

Wow. What you need is a lover who cares. Dump him.

[bowenw]

Try foreplay for you only and none for him. He may also benefit from desensitizing spray. Also consider using a small vibrator on yourself during sex.

[DrPepper12]

Tell him to use delay spray to last longer. He should extend manual foreplay. The he should give you oral orgasm then fuck you like a queen.

[JHAYES317]

Not really but maybe if gets you off first orally or with fingers then it wouldn’t matter how long he lasted as much

[Alex-Snow]

He needs to get u close to an orgasm first with his tongue or a sex toy. U deserve some great orgasms also! As u know some girls can't orgasm from PIV sex all the time but he has to try. How old is he? Maybe get him to masturbate a few hours before sex and that will slow him down. Or give him a handjob first and that way rounds 2 or 3 will slow him down. Is he new to sex and still learning more about sex?

[MasterKS]

you are right here, just time to kick him out.

[Anonymous]

I’d start edging him. Fool around until he’s about to cum and then stop. And when he gets upset about it, say “oh, yeah it sucks doesn’t it. Sorry, you’re taking too long”. If he wants to act like a selfish child then he can be treated as such. Sex is a two (or more) person activity, why is he the only one who gets off?