Do you think the first time you had sex, or will have, it was a good age, or do you wish it was earlier or later?

[AmandaYVR]

[Lliam]

16 years old was just right for me. It was an essential right of passage.

At that age, I was fairly popular and had good friends in the surfer, hippie and rocker cliques. But, physically, I was a late bloomer, so lacked confidence when it came to girls, even though girls were attracted to me. Plus, I was completely ignorant about sexuality and how to interact with girls on that level.
So, when a girl who hung out with a group of my friends took the initiative in regards to physical contact, it was nice. She wasn't a virgin, so I didn't have to worry about that issue. She had no way of knowing that I was a virgin, so I was able to cruise along and pretend like I knew what I was doing.

She invited me into the house trailer parked in her parent's back yard. After that, we were a couple for several months.

At that age, you're checking off boxes - starting high school, getting a driver's license and car, becoming more independent, exploring the world more and more on your own, and, yes, sex.
After sex, I felt like I had checked off all the boxes needed to be a fully hip 16 year old. The last barrier to my self confidence had been eliminated. My next 10 year were full of sex, drugs, rock & roll, fun and adventure.

[Obtuse]

I like how my life worked out ultimately. Maybe it was a tad late (freshman in university), and I might have had an easier time a tad earlier to dispel those overwhelming curiosities, start developing confidence sooner around women. Yet I really like how it worked out.

[Obtuse]

I was one of those with very early puberty, I think. I started growing facial hair and lots of muscle mass even by the age of ten to the point where my father had to teach me to shave (it was getting to be a lot more than peach fuzz), and my classmates were constantly asking me to flex. And I was horny like crazy back then. So it felt a bit late for me, but not too late that I might be all shy around women for the rest of my life.

[Obtuse]

I was also quite shy around girls may be in part due to that early puberty thing and being horny like crazy. It's like I couldn't think straight being next to an attractive girl. So I actually lost mine to a very forward girl with tramp stamp at a party in uni -- she sat on my lap and complimented me and started making out with me. I might have never gotten over that shyness and curiosity otherwise. But that one night (ended up just being a hook-up although I wanted much more than that) was enough to make me radically more comfortable around women.

[MissKittyz]

I was fine with my age. 19 to me was a good age since I was done high school and was way more mature. However, guess I still wasn't smart enough since I lost it to a selfish moron. So maybe the age was fine with me but my choice in men at that age was awful. So I still wished I Waited longer for a better partner.

[AmandaYVR]

Ah, I just read yours. Yes, see my reply to mrfoox.

[aubscc27]

I feel it was too soon... Not so much she wise, but more pertaining to the guy it was with. I didn't really have much feelings for him so it wasn't something very special for me. I feel it would have been way better if I had waited for I get I really felt something for.

[AmandaYVR]

Yes! (Also see my reply to mrfoox.)

[aubscc27]

Read your comment and I agree... As to how to know when's the right time or right guy... Like you said, a lot of people may keep trying to really connect with someone and that could be pretty hard to find, what I would've liked to have done is not find like a person I feel I would spend the rest of my life with, but someone I had a deeper connection with than I had with the guy my first time was with.

[tibit]

It was too early, I lost my virginity at the age of 13. It was with someone I loved and it was spontaneous however I had a terrible first experience and would have preferred to have been able to plan it properly. I wanted it to be romantic and special. I still think back to it sometimes but I do not regret it.

[AmandaYVR]

So, right person but not right moment? Did you continue having a relationship with them after?

[tibit]

I did, however we ended up splitting up when she moved to another country when her parents divorced

[hellionthesagereborn]

Mine was in my mid twenties, I think it was about right (maybe a littler earlier would have been better but not by much). I had things I had to work out in my life so that was the time that was best for me.

[midnightmoon05]

It was good... either freshman or sophomore college first boyfriend.
There were guys who were interested in me in HS... I ran away and glad I did.

[mrfoox]

I'm 22, I am on the fence. I am glad I didn't lose it in my teens, because most guys don't pay much attention to a girls orgasm etc
But now it's starting to feel like I'm late to the party somehow... Still won't just hook-up with anyone I don't have feelings for and feel safe with though. I'd be so on edge and uncomfortable

[AmandaYVR]

I was having a discussion about this topic with a friend today, and I ended up saying, "It maybe isn't so much about the right time, place, etc., but the right person." This hit me like an epiphany. But I could be wrong. I think it's different for young guys, mostly, but I think many girls would benefit from waiting, and finding the 'right' person. I can imagine it leaving a big impact on a girl for a while, and it could sort of set the tone, or appear the beginning of a sort of pattern - and if it doesn't go well, maybe feeling dismissed or used. It doesn't have to mean everything, and I do think some people build it up so much that it becomes more than it needs to be, an albatross, but I wonder if waiting, rather than rushing, is more often the better decision. Well, it's partly why I asked this question. It's interesting how people reflect back on their decision. Some people have so much sexual energy, their frustration gets the better of them and they just want to get it over with (and keep going), and yet if one intellectualizes it so much and doesn't act on feelings and impusles, it can feel like... like you said, maybe "late to the party somehow." Anyway, I guess this idea, of waiting for the right person, is flawed, because a lot of people are still looking for someone they really connect with, and they can't find them. And how long do you wait? That's the crux. (I could talk about how this reflects changing societal and cultural shifts, but I'll leave that for now.) P. S. Your u/n makes my head feel funny. It's pink, but starts with mr. So it's like one of those speed intelligence processing tests, where the screen says "orange" but the colour is blue. Care to share the story of how you chose it?

[mrfoox]

Very true, I quite agree with you. I'm currently seeing someone, and I'm feeling very much safe with them, they know I'm a virgin and are being very respectful/letting me be in charge. I even asked if they could take an STD test (they've had 5 previous partners) and said they would for me. I think they may be the one I'll be willing to be with, I don't plan to push sex before he say he have gotten the test, but if it continues this way... I think it will be an pleasant experience for me. I guess I'll see how it goes, maybe in a month things will have changed Sorry for the confusing name 😂 I used to watch an YouTube channel, basically called 'swedish meal time', and they had a maskot called Mr Fox, so I just adopted that username but with two oo's since I was 13

[AmandaYVR]

Lol, thanks for the story about the name. Interesting. In America on 'The Muppets' (80s show which is now defunct) they had the goofy Swedish Chef. He spoke in gibberish and always had some disaster in the kitchen, but was pretty funny. Even my adult British stepfather laughed at him. Sounds like you found your guy. That is a *great* sign he's going to do the STD test. He's mature and sensible. If they do find something, try to not panic. As long as they can treat him for it, often an antibiotic, it will be fine. Best of luck.

[Apple1996]

I was 17 and it was just right

[Dazed0N0Confused]

Lost my virginity around 14, I don't consider that too early, but everyone has their own standards and ideas on the subject.

[Jjpayne]

I wish for me it could have been much earlier and I'm starting to wonder if i keep waiting if it will ever happen...

[Bluemax]

I had it at age 18. I voted for it being just right.

However, by far what made it just right wasn't the age. It was the woman.

[SydneySentinel]

17. I was totally in love. It was a great relationship. I have no regrets about it.

[AmandaYVR]

Yay, I'm happy for you. I don't have regrets either.

[ecfresh]

Yes at 19 it was a good age. I was old enough to handle the emotions but young enough to start my sexual exploration.

[WhiteShoulder]

Too soon. Wish I’d waited either for a guy who really loved me or at least till I got to college.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Don't know never made that far with any of my ex-girlfriends.. LOL

[Anpu23]

First time I willingly had sex it was about right. 17

[ZeussLightningBolt]

I should've had it by now

[Sweetnessxoxo]

i have never had sex but maybe 18 is a good age?

[AmandaYVR]

Yeo, sounds good. Now you just have to find the right guy.

[Sweetnessxoxo]

I’m hoping that the guy i’m with right now is the right guy but i have to make sure we date at least 5 months

[TacosRAwesome]

I was around 26 when it happened and I think it was late especially since I was in a 4 year relationship prior to that and it wasn't my choice.

[AmandaYVR]

Wow, 4 years is a long time to go being with someone and not having sex with them. There must be a story there. It wasn't your choice not to have sex with them? Your name is hilarious, by the way. What's your favourite protein to put in them?

[Marco10]

I don’t even think about that lol. Late or early. Who cares!

[Jamie05rhs]

I wish it was earlier. But I hate writing this because then girls will see it and think I'm in a rush to have sex, which I'm not.

[moonpie89]

I was ready to lose it at the time

[Dchrls78104]

I'm a virgin and actually glad I didn't have sex yet.

[AmandaYVR]

Why?

[Dchrls78104]

Because I haven't seen the right girl, it would have turned out wrong for me.