He goes soft with me?

[Anonymous]

In my 20s. Is there something wrong with me? I've been seeing this guy for a few months and we get along great and during the first couple months, he couldn't keep his hands off me and he was hard all the time and we would fuck multiple times a day. He never went soft during sex or blowjobs. He says he really likes my pussy and that I'm really tight. He also said that he loves getting head from me too. And he's always calling me pretty/sexy/beautiful, etc. And he still initiates sex and still touches me and cuddles me and he still wants to see me almost everyday. But for the past few weeks, sometimes he goes soft inside me or during a blowjob. He gets really hard when he's close to cumming and he still cums but I'm concerned that he's not attracted to me or that maybe I'm not as good at sex/blowjobs as he says I am. Like the other night, I got to hang out with him and he immediately asked for a bj. It took me a long time to get him hard and if I took a few seconds to catch my breath, he would go soft again and it would take awhile to get him back up. Eventually he got rock hard as he was getting closer to cumming and he did end up cumming in my mouth but it took a long time. And he still cums during sex too. But sometimes he goes soft inside my vagina as well, not to that extent tho but it still happens occasionally. I always shower before doing anything with him, I brush my teeth, wear clean clothes, and most of the time I do wear makeup. But do you think maybe he's getting bored of me or is starting to find me unattractive or not his type or something? He's older than me but still young. And he's not nervous, he's had several partners before me and him getting soft on me was never an issue when we first started sleeping together. He's not overweight or unhealthy I dont think. I have no idea how much he masturbates either. So I don't know what else could be the problem other than me? Is my vagina/Bjs not very good? Is he not that into me?

[David94358]

It happens and has nothing to do with you at all. I once was dating someone and wasn't feeling that great so when we where having sex I started to go soft. It was no big deal.. but for weeks after that all that would go though my head when having sex was "I hope I don't go soft" guess what happens when all you can think about is not going soft? Yep you go soft.

We talked about it and I told her what was going on, she told me don't worry, if you go soft we switch to oral and if she has to suck a limp cock then that's what she will do..

That took the pressure off and the problem went away.

[Asker]

Yeah but this has happened a lot more than just once. And he feels fine, hasn't complained about not feeling well or anything. I know he works a lot tho and is tired. But he still initiates sex. I never make him feel like he has to do it tho. And this never happened when we first started talking. This is new which is why I feel like maybe he has lsot attraction or like maybe I'm just not doing a good job at pleasing him. And when he goes soft, I don't say anything and he acts like he doesn't notice. So it's not like I'm making him feel bad about it tho. I did ask him one time if I was doing something wrong during a blowjob when it happened and he said "of course not. I'm enjoying it." But he didn't tell me why it went soft and I didn't ask but if he was enjoying it, he wouldn't have went soft tho, right?

[David94358]

like I said before he can still be enjoying it and then the thought goes into his head about hoping he doesn't go soft.. and once that worry is in your head you go soft. Its to worry about not going soft that causes him to go soft and has nothing to do with you. and that happened to me a lot over several weeks, it was just the first time that I was feeling bad that caused it, and every time after that was because i was constantly thinking and worrying about it. if he is not worried then you should not be worried, if he wants to talk about it then tell him you dont care and you like sucking on a limp cock.. its fun.. it take the pressure off of him and its that worry and pressure that causes the issue

[godfatherfan]

That is 100% wrong. It could be the best blow job in the world but that doesn't mean anything. This is his issue, 100% his issue. Tired, stressed, medications, a number of things.

[godfatherfan]

I don't get women that blame themselves when a guy can't perform. Especially if the guy is in your age range. This is 100% on the guy. You could be the ugliest woman in the world with the worst personality, and he will still be able to perform if he is already in the middle of sex. There are a number of reasons for this, and all of them are HIS ISSUES, not yours. This happens to me at my age, but it is due to blood pressure medications. If he is not on medication of any kind, then it is mental. Could be stress or he really is worried about something and can't keep his mind off it.

[LaurenM1997]

Maybe he’s turned on and turned off at the same time but it isn’t you it’s just him

[Asker]

What could he be turned off by? I'm starting to feel sort of insecure. I'm not going to make him feel bad about it tho. It's just making me question my sexual skills.

[LaurenM1997]

I don't know he might be turned on and turned off at the same time

[slatyb]

Is not you.

[RealMarek]

Could be a porn addiction, could be too much sex, could be low testosterone. You’re not the reason this is happening.

[Tim2nice]

Trust me, this has nothing to do with you. Whatever the problem is it’s him

[Asker]

Is it possible that maybe I'm just not his type or he doesn't think I'm that attractive tho? Or maybe my vag or mouth doesn't feel good and maybe he's had better?

[godfatherfan]

Pussy is pussy, and mouths are mouths. Nobody feels different, it is all the same.

[Greenville]

@godfatherfan and dick is dick

[stratford]

So I can better understand:

How well endowed is he?

Do you orgasm during sex?

[Pterodon]

It might be the sex is becoming routine. Try taking a break from sex a few days

[Asker]

Yeah I have noticed that if we don't see each other for 2 or 3 days, he is crazy about me for a day. Fucks me like 3 times in one night and no issues. But he has a very high sex drive, so if he's hard for me a lot one day, I don't know why he goes soft during a bj or sex the next day especially if he's the one that initiates it. He wants it, I never force him to do anything. He's always the one that asks for sexual stuff. And yes, he knows I want him too. I'm also not making him feel undesirable in any way.

[Pterodon]

It isn’t you

[Asker]

This didn't use to happen when we first started talking tho. What else could be wrong if it's not because he lost attraction to me or because I'm not satisfying him sexually...

[Pterodon]

It could be just too much sex. There is such a thing

[MasterKS]

lack of proper connection.

[Asker]

What does that mean? Like physically or mentally? Lile he may not be attracted to me or something? This didn't happen before

[MasterKS]

for a good sex a good physcial and mental connection is most and here it sounds like lack of that.

[Asker]

Oh okay. So he's not that attracted to me then?

[MasterKS]

Its not just that, more than that too.

[Asker]

This didn't happen before tho. He used to constantly be hard for me and he would stay hard through the whole lovemaking session. What could've happened? This is a recent problem.

[MasterKS]

to understand the real situation, i need more details than you mentioned.