How do I stop clenching during sex?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend somestimes either cums too soon or struggles and looks like he's in pain because he's trying so hard not to cum when I accidentally squeeze my muscles down there. I used to do a lot of kegel excersizes because I thought it was funny but now if the mucles in my vagina twitch or I accidntally clench them becuase it feels so good then he's done just like that and it SUCKS. How do I help him last longer? and is it my fault?

[PlanetReal]

It's not your fault. And it sounds like he's insecure about ejaculating so fast, it's also tough on normal guys to think that they can't please you sexually. So this anxiety can be affecting him because he might be too focused on performance.

Read the potential psychological causes here : brown.edu/.../premature_ejaculation.php

Try telling him how much you enjoy oral, and intercourse sex with him, and let him take his time down there with you until you're done and ready for intercourse. Let him know that his touch alone is enough to make you wet, and that you won't need anything more than his participation and mutual pleasure. Let it be sensation-focused, not performance/result-focused. Invite him to focus on the same, but only suggest it as a fun experiment you heard about and want to give it a try.

Just try that :) you might love it and it can help him, but first it should help you! Don't take his difficulties in any way to be your responsibility. Your responsibility is your pleasure. If you do your best, and he is still not improving, or if you don't love him and he doesn't make you feel good, then consider where you're going in the relationship. Otherwise, do your best (like suggested above as I mentioned) and see where the pleasure leads. Keep it fun and seductive for the occasion.
The improvements will be slowly, but whatever you do, don't show your disappointments. It's difficult, but do your best to only express what you enjoyed. This can really affect him.

And by the way, he can also practice kegal exercises for men :) should help with his problem which is very common in young men.

Hope this helps!

[Asker]

thank you that's really helpful :)

[PlanetReal]

You're most welcome! :) if you try something out, feel free to update this to let others know how it worked out for you. Just remember it takes time, so enjoy the process :) Best of luck!

[lotfi0]

If he's feeling on the edge he could tell you so you can relax that two seconds for him to slowly pull out without coming and go down on you for couple minutes till he recompose and go in again. And hopefully this willl train him to last longer. If I want to cum on demand I look into her eyes the way she looks at me from under is priceless so maybe even avoid full eyes contact.

[Asker]

he does pull out to go don on me sometimes I hope it will help train him haha

[AustinMan]

Keep doing your Kegels. He needs to learn to control his orgasms even when you squeeze him like a vice.

[Asker]

hahahahaha okay

[gray_sailor]

Don't worry about lasting longer. You are both young, just let him cum and have a go again.

Don't fight sex... flow with it.

[justwannatalk]

Its not your fault, your satisfaction is just as important as his. There are exercises for guys to help them control themselves and last a lot longer.
(P. S. He should go down on you FIRST then proceed forward.)

[Creative_Catbug]

It sounds like that's the excuse he has gave you for him being quick on the trigger.
don't worry yourself with it... not your fault

[Ulyss]

Ummm their is a thing as another round

[Asker]

he always get's distracted and wants food and I never get another round!!

[Ulyss]

Then tell him he won't get sex again unless he finishes pleasing you

[Anderoo]

Foreplay. Its him. Just if he gets close he needs to slow down then start with more foreplay again.

[murphchapter2]

First it's not your vagina! If anything if it's to tight he would loose his erection by not having enough bloodflo. The problem is that he is either A) not experienced enough to control him self or B) he is a premature ejaculator. If he is B then there is not much you can do. Maybe try changing the sex when he gets to close, switch to oral or have him masturbate a couple of hours before you have sex

[Kaido-beast]

Try second rounds

[Asker]

He always gets hungry and gets distracted and meanwhile I am still horny :( If he doesn't get me off with sex he always goes down on me until I get my orgasm too but he rarely wants a second round right after. So if I'm lucky I can get him to have sex after he's eaten something like a few hours later and that whole time I'm STILL horny and wanting more so it sucks.

[Anonymous]

Don't stop clenching. If he cums, he loves it. There's a lot you can do for premature ejaculation, such as extra-thick condoms and even numbing cream inside the condom.