Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health How do you get over the fear of sex?
Anonymous
Im 24 and never had sex. Guys are asking me out all the time but I reject them all the time because I am too afraid of feeling a penis inside me and getting naked and seeing someone naked. I am a normal young adult. I go out, I read a lot, write fiction, volunteer but I cannot escape this fear.
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What Girls & Guys Said
41 113There isn't really any one way to get over a fear like this, only through confronting it will you ever be able to overcome it, but don't rush yourself.
What I would suggest is getting to know what and how you like to be stimulated, sexually. Honestly, that's a very important aspect of human sexuality. Once you have a good understanding of that, the rest will naturally fall into place.
There is no rush. :)
Dont limit yourself to men. Explore your own body at your own pace. Watch soft porn or something of that nature to familiar yourself with male's anatomy. Suggesting all of the above if you do not have a history of trauma!
Are you scared of the intimacy leading up to that point?
Depends if your into guys at all then. Almost sounds like your fear of sex or penetration comes from not wanted to be with a guy.
Not saying you would rather be with a woman.
What I mean is you might be pansexual which more or less means. Someone we does not want to have sex or at least not every often.
If you are into guys and would like to try sex with one. Maybe find someone who is ok with the idea of taking things slow. And letting you try it at your own pace.
There are a few different positions. that give the woman more control. over how the sexual encounter feels and the pace it goes at.
Its understandable to be afraid of sex. Honestly, its a weird concept as a whole. As a straight guy, I've never had a penis inside me, so i can't vouch for the feeling of it.
Don’t be embarrassed that you’re still a virgin, it’s not a race to lose your virginity, you do it when you’re ready. You could find someone that will help you become more comfortable and confident with doing sexual things at your pace then once you’re fully confident and ready, they can help feel at ease when you have sex for the first time.
One day, you will find someone you have really connected with and he the same. Your inhibition will begin to melt away.
Remove the downside.
Get protection. Stand naked in the mirror and look at yourself everyday so that you're comfortable with yourself being naked. Because if you're not comfortable being naked alone it's tough to be comfortable around another person naked. If you're already fingering yourself, then perhaps get a dildo or something else you can finger yourself with. Masturbate with that to form comfort with having an external source inside of you in a sexual manner. Look at pictures of naked men online. Even watch porn that shows both people fully naked and having sex. Maybe watch POV porn from the women's perspective.
Whatever specific things you're afraid of, just address those directly. Doing that removes the downside in your mind. Can do that with pretty much anything you're afraid of in life.
Good advice
I was a virgin until I was 27. And yes, I was afraid to have sex. And i am a guy!
I would say to date or have an friends with benefits. Have a slow progression. First date a smooch. Second date make out. Third date make out but grind with clothes on. Fourth date makeout and top off. Fifth date make out onlt underwear. 6th date he licks your clit/pussy. 7th date he fingers you... it will feel so good you will jump ahead probably at date 3. And thats ok. But you need to be relaxed for sex to good.
Then go out without having sex. They should be patient if they are trulyinterested in you
I really don't here you saying that you want to.
If your not ready to take that Step than don't.
It seems to me that you should be able too find a couple of guys that are mature enough to deal with it.
It seems to me you have choices if you really like some one.
But under stan all roads lead to a penis eventually.
Have you tried dating nerd virgins?
Than you all ways have the good old BJ.
Of course you would have to finish him if you had any chance of making out a virgin still.
This is the one I don't really under stan but you could always take it in the ads.
But that still just sounds like a penis inside you.
You need to know what ever you deside is the best thing for you at the time. Good luck.
PS. If you think you need any more help with that I would be more than willing to let you use my small penis the first time or ten.
Have it and just get more and more used to it each time you have it.
Well shit! I share the same fear believe it or not.
I think it’s due to having an aggressive/mean mother. She’s very hostile.
Use a dildo
Your fear could be one of a few issues. Only you can figure that out. Start of slow. Pleasure yourself first. Use a toy, or your fingers. Don't allow your self-esteem stop you from pleasure.
I'm 26 and never had sex
I'd suggest masturbating a lot more but I don't know you at all. If you want to talk you can PM me. I'm more than happy to try to help you figure this out. Even though I'm typically kinky I've helped a few virgins get into their sexuality. 😈 "corrupting" them is maybe something I get out of it. 😅
maybe visit a specialist. Sex is a pleasurable experience plus seeing someone naked isn't a big deal, them seeing you naked also. They dont see the flaws on your body.
You are NOT a normal young adult - consider seeking professional counseling. Seriously. It's okay to ask for help.
Does this apply for men too? To ask for help?
@Unit1 Yes, absolutely. I've had issues with blood sugar, marriage, and anger. In each case a counselor was of great benefit. They can help you sort facts from fantasy, real from imagined, and get you going on the right track again. Having this type of fear is simply not normal. We were fukkin' around at 13.
Ahhh, yeah, sounds good to me 😊 But what if it's asking for help from the woman, that you're attracted to or trying to attract? Does it apply here too or are there restrictions to it?
@Unit1 - You're going to consult your hot prospect for mental issues? Seriously? Uh, no.
No, i didn't mean that kind of professionally required help. And suppose that even if so, what if she's a psychiatrist?
@Unit1 - You don't fuck your shrink. Period. LOL
How does that answer my question?
@Unit1 You asked 'what if she's a psychiatrist' in referrence to asking any potential romantic date for psychiatric advise. My comment was, nobody gets to do their shrink. And if you show how fucked up in the head you are to a prospective date you'll never get to first base in the first place. You've deviated way off track from the original question - why a 25yo is so scared to have sex - it's not normal!
Wait until marriage for sex and you won't feel that same fear