I'd rather cuddle and talk than have sex. Am I doomed?

[Raven_76]

Yeah that must sound weird coming from someone in 2018 - in which our society is obsessed with sex. It's like people replaced cuddling and talking with just sex. Oh, it's not that I'd only want to cuddle, of course I wanna have sex but to be honest I don't think it's everything.

But yeah, Girls in 2018 are very sexual. They have caught up to guys (except me XD). But yeah some girls I know who are my age own vibrators and dildos and stuff and masturbate, hell, they've told me all sorts of kinks they have (like threesomes with two guys, bondage, rough sex, group sex). Maybe I'm just a weirdo but these things don't appeal to me. I'd rather just spend time with a girl I cared about, treat her well, cuddle, talk and stuff like that... so I'm not gonna lie it's kinda disappointing to learn that girls are all about sex and kinks and stuff. Don't get me wrong, I'd have sex a lot but I'd much rather have loving sex than rough sex but apparently girls like it "rough" and all of that.

I don't wanna judge, even though I am a cynical asshole XD. Now let me just state that I don't think there's anything wrong with girls liking sex and stuff but that just isn't the kind of relationship I aspire to have.

So I'm basically a loser, beta-male right? No girls will wanna be with me and stuff? I'm too soft right?

*Yes, I'm a virgin, and most girls aren't. Most girls have sex all the time and yes, they sleep around. Hey, it's 2018 and girls should embrace their sexuality and most of them do. Most girls I know who are in college and stuff have slept with a lot of guys. I know one girl who is 20 and has had sex with around 60 guys... she said most girls are like this. I couldn't imagine having sex with that many people. So yeah, I guess I'll never be enough.

So am I doomed?

[BlondeGirl_]

Dude, first of all girls have always had libidos, nowadays its just more acceptable to talk about it. I own a vibrator, i dont think its weird🤷🏼‍♀️

And its not like girls want sex 24/7 or have kinks (i think you only thunk that because SOME girls talk about it so openly nowadays. I also dont get why you think all girls have sex all the time and sleep around? I don't know what girls you hang out with but i only know a few girls who do that. At my age at least and seeing you're basicallt the same age i dont get it). I love cuddling and talking with my boyfriend. I love sex too but i dont wanna have sex everyday. What i do want to do everyday is cuddling and talking.

And no you're definitely not weird for not wanting to have sex all the time. Guys USUALLY have higher libidos than girls (my boyfriend has which can sometimes be a little bit dissapointing for him) so maybe your future girlfriend will be happy you guys have kind of the same libido!

[Raven_76]

I think it's weird that like girls masturbate all the time to all sorts of weird porn like threesomes and stuff like that.. group sex also... I don't find this appealing and I'm sure girls wouldn't like me because I'll think they're gross for having threesomes with two guys and stuff. Yeah my friend said that girls are always having sex (she's in college) and that she and most of the girls she knows have been with over 60 guys..

[BlondeGirl_]

Why do you think "girls masturbate all the time to all sorts of weird porn..."? And why do you think so many girls have threesomes? I haven't heard about anyone I know about (by that I mean all the people I know, not who I'm friends with) who has had a threesome. I also haven't heard about any girl "masturbating all the time". You're maybe misjudging girls a bit. I mean yea we masturbate too and some of us watch porn but not THAT much. It's also not common for girls to have threesomes. Your friend's been telling you some serious bs if she and most of the girls she knows have had sex with over 60 guys at that age.

[BlondeGirl_]

If IF SHE TOLD YOU she and most of the girls she knows have had sex with over 60 guys at that age**

[Raven_76]

So I have the wrong impression of girls's sex lives?

[BlondeGirl_]

I think you do. All that stuff you said sounded pretty extreme to me and my friend who read your comments too. Im sure some girls are into that stuff but most really dont have sex with 60+ guys by the age of 18-22. TRUST ME. They also dont all have fetishes or kinks. Dont worry about it man. Its not that extreme.

[Raven_76]

So are most girls kinky?

[BlondeGirl_]

I don't really know. But it's not like most of the ones who have kinks are like into crushing balls and wearing latex suits or something lol. I think the most common among girls is like spanking or getting your hands tied up or something small like that. Some also like anal or feet I don't know man there's also some weird ones but usually its nothing or something small. Dont stress it, seriously.

[Raven_76]

Alright.

[Cornputer]

“Cynical asshole”. I like that.
You don’t know much about sex since you said you’re a virgin. Which, honestly, is an achievement these days. Don’t ever let it go just because you feel like you have to, make sure it’s “your girl” you give it to.
But other than that, no, you are enough and you’re completely normal. Cuddling is so nice. It fills both emotional and physical needs, while sex tends to take care of the latter only (talking about the swinging girls you mentioned). You keep saying to users here you’re doomed, and if you believe you really are, then yes. You’re doomed. All about the mindset.

[Raven_76]

Ok, thanks. I just feel like girls won't be happy dating me because girls like rough sex and kinky stuff and I don't really like that. I'd much rather have loving sex and then cuddle and spend time with her. Also I feel like i'm way behind and girls will think I'm gay and stuff because I am nowhere near sleeping with over 60 people and my friend in college says all the girls have been with over 60 guys so I'll just be an inexperienced virgin to them. That's why I feel doomed.

[Cornputer]

Here’s my opinion - it grosses me out that these girls seem to brag about the amount of their sexual partners. Screwing every guy they see is fine, bragging about it is trashy. A lot of girls claim they love rough and kinky (ever since 50 shades series came out), but these are just claims. After having discussions with my guy friends, these girls tend to be quite boring in bed. You really shouldn’t worry about what they think. Be the way you are, you should be proud of it. When I slept with my ex and found out he was a virgin, even though he’d had countless opportunities with girls, I felt proud and important.

[Raven_76]

So most girls aren't into kinky sex and stuff? So I won't be put down because I don't wanna do that stuff?

[Cornputer]

It’s all about finding the right person. If there are guys like you, there are girls like you as well. You might also change your mind once you actually get the experience.

[Raven_76]

What will change once I have sex? Will I suddenly become promiscuous and kinky and wanan do threesomes and stuff? Really?

[Raven_76]

*wanna

[Cornputer]

Maybe. Maybe not. Kinky stuff isn’t just threesomes and screwing 20 people a day.

[Raven_76]

Yeah I know. It's usually slapping, spitting on and insulting the girl. Pulling her hair, spanking her and screwing her "hard and fast". Oh and choking her. That's basically what girls like. And yeah, maybe if I get really into it I would do that but I'd feel guilty doing that stuff to a girl XD

[Cornputer]

You don’t like kinky, that’s fair. Don’t put it into a bad light though. I’m not doing that to your preferences.

[Raven_76]

I just said that I might even be up for doing that once I start having sex... although I'd feel bad for treating a girl I cared about that way ^

[Cornputer]

You don’t have to slap a woman or spit on her to be kinky.

[Raven_76]

That's the general kinks though. I would not be up for threesomes and gangbangs and stuff

[Cornputer]

The “disrespect and shame” kink is very rare. Women/men like that usually have hella issues, too.

[Raven_76]

What about gangbang and threesome kinks? Are most girls kinky? What is the most common kink?

[pppppkk]

most girls are suckers for guys like you. i don’t understand it either. i have a guy that loves to cuddle and im in heaven. it’s a sweet personality trait. honestly, i think most girls are trying to appeal to the male fantasy in some cases by wanting rough sex and having different kinks. but also, a lot of women are very sexual which is very okay. you just have to find someone that connects with you on that level. i don’t think you’re doomed. i think it’s nice

[Raven_76]

Yeah most girls are just as sexual as guys are. It's just a pity that I'm less promiscuous, kinky and sexual than most guys and girls. It sucks for me.

[pppppkk]

nah i dont think it’s a pity lol i think that’s a good thing

[MlleCake]

Well, you might come to feel differently about sex when you meet the right person.

But cuddling and and talking are a big part of a good relationship. Many women want the intimacy of affection and don't necessarily want hard, rough sex, or kinky stuff.

[Raven_76]

So when I meet the right girl I'll suddenly want threesomes and rough/kinky sex? I'm not so sure about that. I wouldn't want to treat a girl I loved badly, even if it was during sex.

[MlleCake]

Yeah, maybe. Or maybe not. There's room in the sexual world for all kinds of expression, conservative to wild. It's hard to say what you might develop an interest in when you have a chance to try different things. As long as you respect your partners, and yourself, there really are a lot of if ways you can express love physically and who knows what you might find you like in 5, 10 or even 40 years from now. But what you desire now is just fine. It's ok not to want to get into all kinds of unusual stuff. Many women feel the same way. Not all women are as extreme as you seem to think.

[CallMeDave]

I don't think you are doomed at all. I think there are still quite a few women that would like a guy that isn't all about sex. Many will love the cuddling and talking and establishing more of an emotional connection.

Eventually most people are going to want to have sex at least reasonably often, but my guess would be that if you want both but more cuddling and talking and less sex, some women are going to find you to be an absolute prize that they'll be extremely happy to have because they didn't think such a guy existed.

I really don't think you should feel badly about that at all. Yes, some women might not find you desirable because of that, but I'm pretty sure that there are many that will. I hear many women complain about guys only wanting sex, so I think there are plenty that will like your preference for cuddling and talking. Maybe you haven't found one yet, but they are out there and there are a lot of them.

[Anonymous]

Teens today are having less sex than in the past.

Some girls like gentle sex. Some like rough. Some don’t like sex much at all.

Most girls have had sex. Most girls have not had 60 partners. She’s an outlier.

It’s a little odd you’re surprised they masturbate.

How often would you have sex if you were living with a girl you loved, it she had identical drive to you?

[Raven_76]

I'd fuck at least once a day. Yeah, but girls masturbate so much and they do it with vibrators and worse still, they masturbate to all sorts of weird porn, like group sex and all of that. I just didn't think girls were that sexual. My friend said almost every girl she knows has had sex with over 30 guys. She said girls love to fuck and are always horny. Very few girls like it gentle. Most want to be abused and degraded in bed. That's just not for me.

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe every girl she knows but the average girl is under 10. Most girls madturbate less than males. Most do not like being degraded. Very few couples have sex as often as daily. Your sex drive is 100% normal. You’re likelu to be hornier than an average girl.

[Raven_76]

Girls are way more hornier than guys on average. They want sex more.

[Opinion Owner]

This is factually untrue and masses of data supports it

[Idonthaveausername]

I agree. Millennials as a whole are having less sex and relationships because we're focused on our careers. It's the girls who do sleep around that are sleeping with dozens of guys that are making it look like girls are going crazy. There's a bigger difference between those who are abstinent and those who aren't than there used to be And yeah, every girl has a preference. I know girls who like it rough, but they're all in very unhealthy multiple relationships. The ones who don't talk about it much or say they don't like it like that tend to have better relationships

[Raven_76]

@Idonthaveausername so relationship-type girls would prefer loving sex and like to cuddle and stuff?

[Idonthaveausername]

Yes, exactly. Girls who want to have real relationships ate wanting guys like you who will give them all the physical affection they need without pressuring them into sex. And that type of relationship is much more likely to last

[Snowflake1111]

That's the best!! Cuddling it can lead to sex. Though, it's incredibly nice. I'd fall asleep and have my head wrested on the person and a tight grip.
I just get excited thinking about cuddling because it's freaking fun.
Sleeping alone isn't as fun. Plus, I only have my pillows.

[Raven_76]

I only have my pillows too XD

[Snowflake1111]

I have a body pillow I just wrap my legs and arms around it basically till I'm asleep. I like to have a messy bed too not sure why but I enjoy it

[Bandfreak15]

No, i wouldn't say your doomed. There will be girls that will love to cuddle too

[Raven_76]

Not many. Just say it, I'm doomed.

[Bandfreak15]

Nope, doomed would mean youd have 0% of finding domeone like that

[pancake_1244]

My wife and i do that sometimes ,

[Jesslin412]

Same

[turnmypainintopower1]

I have a hard time cuddling and that type of thing but I would rather cuddle then have sex as well so

[clare25]

not at all. i prefer to talk/cuddle as well.

[Texas_born]

No, you're not doomed. At least not in my opinion.
If it's something that you enjoy, then keep at it. Soon enough, you'll meet the right girl and deeper intimacy will happen naturally.

[MarilynMansonsSlvt]

No. I love kinky sex AND cuddling <3
xx
~ Mrs Manson

[Raven_76]

Read the details. I'm doomed.

[Gopnik]

nope, my girl feels the same way and i kinda do too, in my opinion sex is fine but not something you should be doing 24 fucking 7.
cuddling is fine too.

[AnnasiaB]

For one I don't think you do because you're a virgin and you haven't had sex before and I do think that cuddling and talking or a whole lot better than jumping to having sex with someone and I do think that since you're very mature

[Raven_76]

I don't understand. Are you saying I'll change the way I feel once I have real sex? I'll suddenly become kinky and I'll just want sex and not wanna cuddle and stuff?

[AnnasiaB]

Oh no sorry I just meant that I like how you're so mature about not wanting to have sex with people and just cuddle because in a relationship I feel like cuddling and talking are the most important things

[Raven_76]

But what will I change after I have sex?

[AnnasiaB]

If you're into it you may start to make you want to do it more

[LuvAsh]

Ur not doomed

[Raven_76]

... I am.

[LuvAsh]

No ur not😂 im the same way as u. But i dont want to have sex until i am married. Tere are people like u, u just have to look in the right areas and not hoe town😂😂

[4465loveyou5577]

Nope, a lot of girls like cuddling as much as sex.

[Raven_76]

Nah. Very few girls.

[LegateLanius]

No. Many girls love to cuddle but also love sex.

[Raven_76]

Yeah but girls like rough sex and stuff and I don't. That's a massive problem.

[outside_Toronto]

You're doomed

[lovedejj_xo]

I like cuddling

[Hugemoth]

You're just a virgin. Its ok.

[Raven_76]

What does that have to do with anything. Asswipe.

[Hugemoth]

You're asking "am I doomed". I say no it's just the way a virgin thinks.

[Raven_76]

Why is that the way a virgin thinks?

[Hugemoth]

Because he has no experience in actual sex.

[Raven_76]

Read the details.

[Hugemoth]

Yeah virgin talk.

[Raven_76]

How is it though? So real sex is emotional and all of that? Like in movies? Because I though porn was closer to real sex than movie-sex.

[Hugemoth]

Real sex can be emotional. Depends who you're having sex with. Porn and movies are pretty much the same.

[Raven_76]

Movie sex is always missionary, lots of kissing and stuff. Porn is like rough sex, threesomes, gangbangs, anal and all of that. So is porn more realistic?

[Hugemoth]

Well in movies there's no actual sex so yeah in that case porn is more real lol. But no emotions in porn, just good angles.

[Lumberman989]

Me too I like sex but I like cuddling and affection just as much

[CT_CD]

Yeah