Sexual Relationships
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I think I was raped by my boyfriend?

My boyfriend came over a couple of days ago a bit drunk. We started having sex which was consensual then he wanted to have anal to which I said no. I don't remember exactly what happened, but I started feeling him close to my anus and all of a sudden he got in. I asked him to stop as it was hurting, but he went deeper. I was crying and screaming and trying to push him off. After I asked him many times to stop he finally did and I ran to the bathroom and saw I was bleeding. I started cleaning myself and after a while he came to check on me and ask me if everything is okay. I told him that he didn't stop when I asked him and that I was even crying. To this he responded that there were no tears, which is true and that I only said once to stop. I started questioning myself, but I remember asking him many times and I can still hear myself crying to stop. He also said that I told him I tried it before and he thought I was okay with it. I did tell him I tried it and also told him I hated it and never wanted it again. I still don't know whether this was rape or I'm just thinking too much of it.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Yes he raped you, my girlfriend ask me one time to"lets try anal baby" i say "ok... are you shure" ... she say "yes", then she told me to go easy and listen to all her instructions and if she say stop i STOP. What has hapen? I try to get inside, late she guide me and then there comes the pain she say easy, wait, hold on there, i did for like 5 min id didn't move, next she say try now to go more, MORE PAIN, she give up and say no baby, sorry i can't, STOP. When she told me that i take it out and try to make her forget about the pain and we decided to try some other time when she will be more ready. REAPING meen to force somebody to do something against theyr whill. You say no but he keep going, it change in rapeing.

    • Olso if he feel sorry he need to let you decided if you will ever whant to try something that you maby don't like, in this case (ANAL). I never ask my girl for anal, she propose to me, but if i like that so much i will ask her if she try befor (yes, it hurt), will you try it again some time to see you can take it? (maby) In that moment as a boy you need to whait like it will never hapen

  • I think his desire for anal has got the better of him and he ignored everything you did to stop him and it took him time to realise he's actually hurt you. Stop means stop, you dont have to keep repeating it but you obviously did and you screamed. A scream is another indicator of needing to stop. Rape is a strong word for something like this but he definetly tried something he knew you'd probably say no to just in hope you'd somehow accept. Ask him if he even knew it would physically hurt you? read his face expression, his tone, everything.

    • how often has he ignored you previously?

    • This was the first time

    • i was afraid this would be the answer, i dont think you will feel comfortable having sex with him again. In this moment he saw you as a ragdoll. The relationships dead. Im really sorry you experienced this. You didn't deserve it.

Most Helpful Girls

  • I'm so sorry that happened to you. That sound like rape to me. For your own safety pleases leave the relationship if you haven't already. You are under no obligation to get the police involved if your not comfortable with it. Just leave, you deserve someone who is not a rapist and under stands what no means.

  • Yes that's rape. Doesn't matter whetter he is drunk or not. You didn't give consent for anal but he still did it. Also what kind of Person wouldn't stop If you were bleeding?

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What Girls & Guys Said

4 18

  • You consented to sex, plain sex; you didn't want anal and expressed it to him, he didn't respect your decision to no anal, he knew you tried it once and you hated it, and yet he didn't listen to your reply when it was happening. Being drunk doesn't excuse anything. Yes, it was rape. Wheter it affects your relationship is up to both of you.

  • You should have filed a police report and gotten his dna sample from your anus - he could have gone to jail.

  • Once is enough. Your consent was to vaginal sex. He asks for anal and you say no. Drunk or not, he still knows what no means.

  • Nonconsentual = rape. He deliberately hurt you. Blaming it on being drunk is a totally bullshit attempt to avoid responsibility. He knew what he was doing. He's a piece of shit rapist. If I was you I would never trust him again. Don't fall for his apologies. At the very least, you should leave him flat. But you should also probably report him.

  • Classifed as Rape although you consented to sex, he anally raped you and caused your anus to bleed. And if he showing no remorse he is proving he planned to do it.

  • It's non consensual, anal rape. That seems pretty clear. If you choose to press charges you could do so.

  • technically to point that you say no is the exact point he should have stopped so it is indeed sexual assault but you may struggle to prove it in court so if you want to go down that path you need to ask yourself if you can handle it... one thing you should deffinitely do though is dump him and make it very clear why you are doing so and at the same time tell him never to contact you or bother you ever again and make it clear exactly why you are doing that

  • Technically, yes. But you willingly chose to get in bed naked with him and must therefore share responsibility.

    It really should not be an issue of whether he technically raped you, because you put yourself in the position where he could, but whether he respects you, which he apparently does not.

    He can say he is sorry and you can forgive him, or you can break up now, and even file an impossible to prove criminal complaint if you want.

  • You should've cut his penis

  • Congrats on living the number one female fantasy! 🎉🎊

  • Technically, yes.

  • I'm sorry this happened to you and yes this was a form of sexual assault
    you never consented to the anal sex and he took it upon himself to do it
    i believe he should stopped but being under the influence of alcohol these
    things happen in life. Yes this could be rape.

  • It was rape. He's a piece of shit and you should leave him at a minimum and should also consider pressing charges. None of this was your fault.

  • Thats rape , break up w him

  • He's messing with your head he raped you unfortunately I am so sorry

  • Sounds pretty rapey to me.

  • Yeah that's why i try to never let myself be drunk around women. And why i wait till they initiate sex with me. I like being in control of myself and prevent possible misunderstandings nor do i like the idea of hurting a woman. Yes unfortunately i would call that a rape because he kept doing it when you said no. If he was in his right mind maybe he would have stopped before he continued or never done it remembering you saying you didn't like it. I hope you are doing better.

  • No means no! Always , end of story

    • You dumped him i hope

  • It's a Rape.

  • Tear or no tear. No means no. He raped you. Jail him.

    • this is the most ridiculous comment. Girls expect guys to be bad boys.

    • @TheDarkNighty When they're crying "no!"?

    • No obviously not when that happens

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