If you never have sex with your boyfriend, does that mean he’s the love of your life?

[Sugar100]

I’m 26 but my mom believes in sex til marriage.
She thinks you need date a guy for years and never have sex & that will mean he’s the love of your life, is that true?

I would feel weird like we are friends if there’s no romance ever.

to me , a guy that loves you could be a guy that treats you good, nice, respects what you want do, agree to meet family, make you priority ,

I met one guy that ticks all my boxes and treats me good but my mom hates him as she found out we had sex, but we didn’t even have sex fully, it was more like, talking , laughing, seeing a movie, going for a drive in his car to get some food, talking , flirting, going home to eat , sleep together in same bed, then try sex in morning quickly then check out of the house.

but it’s stupid as all girls have sex with boyfriends, I’m sure all parents know this too.

[MrOracle]

It sounds like, overall, you've found yourself a good guy. THAT IS IMPORTANT, because not all men (or all women) are. BUT... have you actually fully vetted him? Have you talked about all of the things that are important for a long-term relationship/marriage? Things such as:

• marriage (do either of you want that)?
• kids (do you want them and how many)?
• finances (have you fully discussed managing money, existing debts, etc.)?
• morals & values
• religion (including: how will any kids be raised)?
• where you will live (big city suburbs, rural)
• do you need him home every night, or are you okay if his career requires frequent travel?
• any family obligations (including taking care of old/sick parents or other family members)?

You need to have all of this worked out before you make a serious commitment to each other.

But, once that's worked out to your satisfaction (assuming it is), and assuming you are prepared for potential consequences (getting pregnant), then if you want to have sex, you are adults and can do so. Far better this than just having random casual sex as so many people do.

[godfatherfan]

That could possibly be the stupedist thing I have ever heard. The worst thing you can do is wait until marriage to have sex. You cannot learn sexual compatibility. You can learn to do certain things better, like blow jobs. But if he is into S&M, and it completely turns you off, you will never be on the same page. Then you end up divorced over things you could have prevented. That is a drastic example. But there are small things that are just as important. I broke up with a woman because she didn't want foreplay of any kind. She wanted to go from just laying there watching TV to me pumping away. That is a huge turn Off. I didn't even want to go to her house after a couple weeks.

[laly520]

didn't have sex with him n he is love of my life
real love is beyond intercourse
sex would come eventually, it isn't the hard part
the hard part is finding the one

[Sugar100]

How u know wen u found the one? I think the one is a guy that agrees meet family & gives me baby & marriage. I haven’t even met a guys parents. So I guess the one is someone that would meet parents

[laly520]

the one is someone who would love u truly, support u all time n be there for u, someone u trust n could count on n a person who isn't just ur lover but ur best friend too how to know? if they show such qualities n most importantly focus on their actions rather than their words meeting parents is also a sign it shows they r willing to take u more seriously n make it official, being sure of committing to u

[slatyb]

No, your mother is full of ****. Most men won't wait for years, and the ones that will are probably not the men you want for partners.

[Sugar100]

Well she’s mad I had sex with new guy. She says I can’t have sex with a guy or he’ll use me for sex and won’t be my boyfriend

[Juxtapose]

It's almost like there's a difference between friends and lovers that is distinctly physical!

[Sugar100]

@Juxtapose I feel if you don’t hav sex no romance then guy will only be a friend not boyfriend

[slatyb]

You are an adult. Stop telling her about your sex life.

[Sugar100]

I’m not telling her, it’s becuase I slept over with a new guy and as I live together with my mom, she right away knew I was having sex as I didn’t come home.

[Juxtapose]

Yeah, cus s relationship without physical intimacy is pretty much s platonic friendship.

[Juxtapose]

*a relationship

[Hardworkingguy]

I tried that and my ex girlfriend as unfaithful to me and it was all over so I dont recommend it

[Sugar100]

You don’t recommend what? By not having sex with a boyfriend?

[Hardworkingguy]

I dont recommend not having sex in a relationship... its also a good way to get to know if you both have chemistry together

[Bklynbadboy12]

If your I a relationship without sex then your just friends

[Sugar100]

My mom never wants me to have sex , I’m 26, she’s still furious I had sex with that new guy , says it’s distgusting , gross. She continues say I won’t get married by having sex with boyfriends

[Bklynbadboy12]

You will get married. She has to understand times have changed

[war_daddy]

you can't keep a guy interested in 2024 without sex

[Sugar100]

So what do I do about my mom?

[war_daddy]

easy. don't listen to her.

[Sugar100]

We live togeher so she nags all day at home, says I’m stupid , upset I had sex with new guy, calling me distgisting, gross, idiot

[Sugar100]

She doesn’t listen how that new guy ticked all my boxes , only issue is he lives in another state so we are long distance

[war_daddy]

long distance is stupid

[Sugar100]

I know

[Sugar100]

All the good guys I meet all tend to live far

[war_daddy]

that sucks. but still, you should move just move out

[war_daddy]

or better yet move in with your boyfriend

[Sugar100]

Only fuckboys live in my state

[Sugar100]

My ex lives 5 min away from me n wen we dated he never met me daily or even weekly

[Sugar100]

My moms single divorced so I feel I can’t move out or live with a guy as she’ll be alone and she’ll say I left her bad daughter don’t care about her

[Sugar100]

She says I can only have kids and move out til I’m married.

[war_daddy]

she's too old fashioned. she'll ruin your life and you're kinda old already...

[Sugar100]

Lol that’s y I’m looking for a boyfriend , the last guy was bad guy wasted my time 10 years he was fuckboy, and don’t want baby, I felt connection with this new boy and he happened be in town so we met before we went back home and we are still in touch and I plan visit him may and he’ll come back July.

[Sugar100]

Hope he can be my new serious boyfriend. But it seems like any new guy will be serious and better than ex for sure.

[war_daddy]

I wish you luck!