Is it normal for my mom to tell me to enjoy safe sex as much as I want before I get married?

She even said i should experience different men before i settle down.

Updates:
1 y
She is kind of telling me to have my hoe phase, right? Makes me wonder about her past.
1 4

Superb Opinion

  • It's "normal" in the sense that Radical Feminists have pushed that idea onto women, young women especially. Much like "trans-rights" and "pro-transitioning" and similar stuff is being pushed so hard right now, RadFems spent 2 generations pushing the idea that women could have all the casual sex they wanted and everything would be fine. But is it fine?

    The numbers tell us that in 1960, 78% of adults over 20 were married, and most had children. The divorce rate was well under 10%. Today, less than half of all adults will ever be married, and the divorce rate is over 50%. The birth rate has crashed to all-time lows, and vast numbers of people will never reproduce.

    41% of women have a diagnosed medical disorder (and it's 76% of women who identify as "progressives" - the women most likely to endorse casual sex for women - and 25% for women who identify as "conservative"), and 26% of women are on anti-depression medication. Does that sound like signs that women are happier today than they used to be?

    My generation, GenX, is the first to have grown up fully indoctrinated into this idea, and you can already find thousands of women on TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube who are older and single, who either never married or who divorced their husbands and now very much want a man, but can't find one, and tons who never had children and realize that they're going to spend the second half of their life alone, with no family of their own. This despite the fact that many of them DID get married and have children, because this ideology wasn't thoroughly bought into. Millennials and GenZ bought into it at far higher levels, with women prioritizing careers and casual sex - "Sex And The City" style, and women's happiness levels continue to fall and depression and other mental illness continues to climb. Men are "checking out" of the dating scene entirely at ever growing rates. Does that sound like having lots of casual sex and running up your body count is going to result in good outcomes?

    Obviously it's your life, and you can do what you want with it, but your choices WILL have consequences. Men are happy to bang girls, but they also consider girls who have casual sex to be "for recreational use only" and do not consider them to be "relationship material" - though most men would never tell you so.

    Really, you need to figure out what you want out of life over the long term, and then work backwards to figure out what you need to do to get that result. It's just like, say, becoming a college science professor - if that's what you wanted to do, you'd work backwards, all the way back to high school, to figure out which steps you needed to take to end up at that result, and you'd know that taking "indigenous dance appreciation" instead of Calculus in school isn't going to give you the same results.

Most Helpful Guy

  • It sounds more like wise advice than anything. Having sex with different people means you get to try different things. Different people are into different things, kinks, and fetishes, etc.

    When you finally get married, there may be something sexual you want to try, but your husband may not be into it and not want to engage, so you will end up always wondering what it was like. For example, I had a friend female friend once that loved roleplaying but the guy she married didn't, and she never tried it before, so she always wondered what it was like,

    Experimenting with different people brings out your desires and gives you a clearer picture of what kind of sex you like and what kind of sexual activities you're into.

Most Helpful Girls

  • She’s right. It’s wise to experiment sexually and have plenty of experiences before you settle down with someone. When you get married, sex will eventually become routine and less exciting. So you’ll regret it later if you didn’t live a little when you had the chance.

  • It’s not only normal, but super cool & forward thinking of your mom.

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What Girls & Guys Said

5 24
  • I don't have the statistics to say if its "normal".

    But I would say, "it's about time".

    Much like dad tell sons to "sow some wild oats", it's time for mum to tell her daughters to "open her legs".

    • Open her legs 😂😂

    • Oops... What's the statement for girls?

    • Bend over?

    • Show All
  • hey... if it's safe. GO FOR IT! XD

    *throws confetti*

  • You only get to be wild for a while if you follow the typical formula. Makes sense to enjoy it.

    Obviously it isn't typical but... I could picture my dad telling me something like that. So why can't a mom tell her daughter.

    • Yeah, I agree. I feel like if we all had actual independence and living situations, then we all could be immersive and embrace this part, of the many, in life. I think if it didn't seem so risky. I would have started even younger. While everyone fooled around at puberty, I was ASEXUAL lol that was me, then. frick the biology XD

    • well, who knows, maybe I had fewer hormones in COMBINATION/ADDITION to my heart for learning, so fewer interruptions in the brain probs meant asexuality and more intellectual concepts/ achievements lol

    • You could have just fallen for the smart kid and studied like a maniac to impress them. Academic and intellectual results with biology giving you a helping hand! I don't think it needs to be rushed but I am increasingly learning that I would rather regret things I did than things I did not do.

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  • It's not typical, nor do I think it's wise.

    • Just imagine if you go pregnant by some asshole, right before meeting the love of your life. Happens all the time.

    • With the baggage of past relationship traumas. And safety is unpredictable, so std too

    • Truth

  • I wouldn't say it's normal, but there is nothing wrong with it.

  • It might not be the norm but she's absolutely right.

  • It's disgusting, a mom who encourage her daughter to be a ho, a woman is like a lock.

    Is it normal for my mom to tell me to enjoy safe sex as much as I want before I get married?
  • Hahaha!
    Hahaha!
  • It's more normal now because that how many moms acted when they were you're age. She would never dare say this in front of your father though. While she advising you covertly, your day is overtly advising you. She was likely able to successfully fool your dad about her past but social media didn't exist back then so it was easier for her to deceive a man. With you it will be significantly harder.

  • Not normal. But not unheard of.

  • That's not super normal, but it's not uncommon either.
    The thing about casual sex is that it isn't going to tell you much about your body. Having a few quasi-long term interactions will though.

  • Repost this again but not anonymous and you'll get more answers.

  • Bad. I waited till I was married and so did my wife. We gave our virginity’s to each other 👍🙂

  • I wouldn't say that to my daughter or son. Even if I was the mother.

    But I would say, "IF YOU DO DECIDE TO HAVE SEX, MAKE SURE YOU'RE/SHE'S ON THE PILL AND YOU'RE/ HE'S WEAR A CONDOM. PERIOD END OF CONVERSATION. " Now that's only what I'll do. But not be having sex with every person I meet.

  • I wouldn't say that's normal, but she's not entirely wrong.

  • Are you dating someone currently?

    • Just broke up

    • Then if you want to hook up with someone, I don’t think it’d hurt to have some fun as long as you’re careful.

  • I really don't think it's normal. I guess your mom is a very open minded woman. She's not afraid to tell people what she thinks.

  • well , i think your mom is pretty cool , i adore people who are free spirited

  • Yeah she is correct I think...

  • A beautiful young women's sexcapades is the stuff of legends. One thing a female is very lucky for is her ability to experiment and try anything she wants. The majority of men can't get that chance.

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