Is it normal to be craving for both a baby and sex?

[Anonymous]

I'm still childless at 35 years old and currently single. My b-day is nearby and even though I can still get away with youthful looks (good genes and health), I can't deny biology.

Ok so I strongly desire a baby but here is another issue; I haven't been sexually intimate nor gotten naked with a man in 16 years. The last time I ever had sex was in May 2007; the number remains at 1.

Are my cravings normal? I've made the decision that I'll solve my childless issue and get pregnant this year. But the sexual craving and fantasies seems to be increasing too. So now I'm dealing with intense baby fever and higher sex drive. I feel similar to when you're starving for food.

[Rixon]

It's quite normal. You are a mature woman now and it's high time when your body is signalling you to have sex as well as a child. Women after 30s are at their sexual peak and hence you must act accordingly. But make sure you are having sex and baby of a good man rather than with someone who just needs a pussy to fuck

[Asker]

Yeah I would be great if a natural sperm donor would offer to be part of the child's life. If I were to go through the whole dating process, establish a relationship and do things the traditional way, that's going to take too long and no man would like to be pushed to having a child; he would want to have protected sex while I want unprotected sex ASAP.

[Rixon]

Well many guys would be ready to be a natural sperm donor to a woman who needs a child but they would be running way from the child's responsibility though. So try to keep your cards open and be flexible about your needs.

[Asker]

I have no problems raising the child alone with the support of my family though. I'm not lacking in money but yes ideally it would've been better with a good man. It really sucks that we have limited time to have kids. I'll lay everything on the table for the guy (straight to the point about my intentions), that way he's not surprised.

[Rixon]

Well that's a great deal. Frankly speaking I would have been in..

[Asker]

The difference is you're 23 and have all the time to date and go through the whole ''butterflies in your stomach, falling in love'' process. I don't want that anymore. I really don't have time for that. I'm not looking to experience the infatuation period all over again and take my time. I'm looking to form a family.

[Rixon]

But I don't need that buffering and infatuation time too.. anyways ultimately its your call..

[SteveSmith1985]

Yea, this is very normal. Very normal. Women in their 30's are at their sexual peak. You're like an 18-year-old boy right now (when men peak).

The horniness of women in their 30s is almost a cliché in stand-up-comedy, for example. This is a known thing. Make wise choices. 🙂

[Asker]

I'm dealing with both on the high, high baby fever and high wants for sex. Honestly, if I were to find an attractive sperm donor (tall, white man), I would have wild, unprotected sex with him. I would take the offer without any hesitation.

[SteveSmith1985]

Well... that sounds like maybe a very bad idea. Not unless that would have seemed like a plausably good idea say... before you started feeling that way. Are you trying to be a single mother (there was some girl on here who was, and I don't feel like arguing about that shit. but if you're not looking to do that. Then that's just nuts. You're allowed to be horny. You're allowed to crave a baby. But you're still responsible for making sound decisions not influenced by being horny. You need to make sure this doesn't cloud your judgement. I'd bet you're not anything like the woman you sound like right now. Not really. I mean I don't know you. But you sound like you're going to explode.

[Asker]

The issue is the dating process will take at least 2 years. I'll be 37-38 by then and it's going to be even more harder to get pregnant. He's going to want to take his time meanwhile I'm against time.

[Asker]

Lastly, I'm exhausted of starting the whole dating process again, the going to the movies with a boyfriend, the having the boyfriend giving me flowers and the whole courtship process... too much. I feel like I'm not at that youthful stage anymore.

[SteveSmith1985]

Ok. All fair. But none of that is at all a good or valid or fair reason to have a baby. It would be selfish. I think you probably know that deep down too. I'm sorry. I do know that this is difficult. But you really can't make wildly irresponsible decisions because you feel the biological clock ticking.

[Asker]

Yet the other option is going through the whole natural process of a relationship but risk killing my last fertile years, risk not being able to get pregnant anymore. Then I would actually feel miserable that I would then have to settle to adopting. Yes... this is indeed difficult.

[SteveSmith1985]

I won't lie. I'm 37 and single. You are scaring the absolute shit outta me right now. And you may not want to look at adopting as settling. That's not how adopted kids, or adopted parents feel. I could be adopted for all you know (I'm not. but that's still a fucked up way to put it or think about it). I mean, yes it is difficult. But you do need to do what's right. What you would have thought was right for yourself before you started freaking out about this. You need to look for a relationship, since that sounds like the context in which you actually want a baby. But the right thing to do would be to remain childless, rather than make a selfish decision like this. And unless you're that one girl (or someone of similar mind. Determined to be a single mother and won't have it any other way for whatever reasons) this WOULD be selfish. You should do this properly (for you. Whatever that actually looks like. Which is not this. You know its not) or do do it at all. This seems really really wrong to me. You need to find a guy who wants a baby as urgently as you do. Specifically I mean. I'm a guy who wants kids. I'm super close with my toddler niece and nephew in a way that I never imagined possible. I am open to having kids, but life circumstances make that unpractical for me right now. But even if I didn't have any of that, and was ready to find the woman I hoped to marry and have kids with... you would scare the shit outta me. With your urgency about this. You would scare the SHIT outta me. You need a guy who feels just as urgent about this as you do. Seriously. Put that shit on your dating profiles. I'm not joking. You need to. Otherwise you're wasting your time. Because even guys looking to have kids aren't going to like this baby-fever.

[Asker]

Perhaps if we didn't have a biological clock and had unlimited time like you guys then things would be different. Yes but I'll be putting that on my profile, that I'm looking for have a child soon.

[SteveSmith1985]

I'm not going to try and say that I don't feel for you. (not just you, but women who find themselves feeling how you do). I don't mean to sound unsympathetic. The only reason I mentioned that was honestly... because it is differernt from my perspective. From the perspective of anyone aside from a man who shares your urgency on this. It's a very cold, calculating way to approach a relationship. You truly are actually looking for a sperm donar. That's your motivating factor here. To find a man to father your children. Not to find a man. That's not what most men who want kids want to be. So really, I wasn't being facetious in saying you better put it on your profile. You don't have time to waste on anyone who doesn't have the same idea of "soon." So really, I'm not a guy with the mentality you're looking for anyway. It doesn't matter if you scare the shit outta guys like me. That's good. I'd end up a waste of your time when I didn't share the same urgency. But I'm a straight-forward honest guy. I had trouble sitting here having the shit scared-out-of me to this degree without saying: "hey... careful not to just look for guys who are looking to have kids. I'm one of those guys... and this is scary. You need one on the same page so far as the 'soon' part specifically" I do genuinely wish you luck. Just... I hope you make the decisions that are really the right ones for you. Just try to keep your judgement from being too clouded by this. It's important.

[SteveSmith1985]

If it makes you feel any better. A girl I became very good friends with a few years ago on here. Like wel were friends off of here, but we met on here. She was very much like you in her ugency, just in a less scary way. But no less urgent. This girl needed a child to complete her idea of happiness just as much as you do. Trust me, we talked a lot, over a couple years. Believe me. She didn't think it was going to happen for her either. I was there for the whole process. We talked all the time. I heard about it all the time. She was 36 when we met, and 38 when she met her husband a couple years ago. She was pregnant the last time I talked to her (we talked less once she got married, obviously). It can work out. And you'll never see it coming until it happens. I hope that was a good thing for me to add. Sorry if it wasn't. My intentions were good. Best of luck. 🙂

[Asker]

Thank you for the story but the chances of getting into a relationship and it transforming into marriage and having a kid with him before my time runs out is slim. What if I take the risk of getting into a relationship and there is yet another break-up after the 1st year or 2nd year and still remain childless, then I would've wasted by time then and have nothing but just memories but no kid. But thanks for giving me some hope even though that's just luck.

[Asker]

You're right though. I'm not interested in finding a man and doing the whole dating process all over again and ''oh I love you'' exchanges. I don't want a boyfriend and possibly waste time again, then have to once again delete all the picture in my Fb and other accounts, once again explain to everyone why it didn't work out, go over the headache again. I'm not looking to fall in love. I want to have a child, get this done and over with this year.

[SteveSmith1985]

"Thank you for the story but the chances of getting into a relationship and it transforming into marriage and having a kid with him before my time runs out is slim." Perhaps. But that's exactly how Beth felt too. Trust me, we'd talk about it all the time. The point of the story was more, that things seeming hopeless doesn't mean that's true. You are right though, luck plays a significant part in meeting the right person. I think that it's good that you realize that you have no interest in the whole dating and finding a mate process. If that's how you feel, then I think it's good that you are fully aware of that being the case. If that's not what you want, then it would be wrong to try and find somebody who did want that type of relationship. Although, (I could totally be wrong about this) some of what you said here gave me the impression that maybe you've had a breakup that is still fresh enough to have left a scar you can still feel in your thinking. Again, maybe that's not at all accurate. But if it is... keep in mind that this might be a factor in how you feel here (if it is. I don't know). You sound like you're determined to do this alone, one way or another. I can't stop you. I just hope that the 26-year-old version of yourself looking forward wouldn't think you're making the wrong decision. I hope the decision you make is the one you would have made with sound judgement, when you didn't feel the pressure you feel today. I don't think it's right. But it doesn't really matter what I think about it. I do want to genuinely wish you the best of luck no matter what you decide to do. 🙂

[Asker]

Thank you for understanding. I appreciate your kind words. It helps.

[SteveSmith1985]

Good luck!🙂

[EmmaMary]

I remember seeing this very same question not so long ago... So, no change yet then? 🙂

[Asker]

Nope, none, sadly

[EmmaMary]

Thank you for the MHO.

[Berethor]

Well having a baby is the main biological purpose of sex, and you are running out of time.

[Asker]

The cartoon is my reality that will soon be taking place either through a donor or lab. I'm not focusing on building a whole relationship at this point. That would likely take another 2-3 years, too much.

[Berethor]

Getting pregnant and giving birth gets harder after 35 so I can understand your rush.

https://www.yourfertility.org.au/everyone/age

[Guffrus]

I know how you feel, I have given up on the idea of a happily ever after too.

[Dargil]

Very normal. I hope you find a suitable partner.

[Jamie05rhs]

Lol. Damn, girl. Just get a husband.

[Asker]

I don't get marriage on time with the whole dating process. It's going to take another 2-3 years for marriage to happen. I'm just going to have it via insemination.

[Jamie05rhs]

Oh well.

[Mangospacho]

That’s completely normal. I think it’s a myth that married couples getting pregnant is boring and is without any passion. Usually it’s just spontaneous sex that leads to having children or more children and that passion does continue throughout the pregnancy. That’s what makes pregnant sex so hot too. That’s why what you’re feeling is completely normal.

[Asker]

True and it's unlikely I'll be getting married so. If I risk doing the whole dating process all over again, I'll risk wasting my remaining fertile years. I think I'll cut to the chase and focus on having the child. Then I'll later on look for love.

[Mangospacho]

You’re in your early 30s still, though, you still have remaining fertile years. It is better to wait, though, since it’s a huge stress to raise a child on your own. Realistically, you could date and be married within a year.

[Asker]

That's what I expected in my last relationship. He knew very well we were dating for marriage and he still wanted to take another whole year. I got my time wasted for nothing and I had to delete all of our pictures on fb, all for nothing.

[Mangospacho]

Sorry. That really sucks. I completely understand.

[Asker]

I'm willing to bet if men suddenly had a time limit to have kids like us then they would finally understand what's it like being in our shoes. It's very easy to take all your sweet time when you're not the one with a biological clock.

[Mangospacho]

Yeah I do have little ones and I’m over 40 and it does get difficult even for guys raising little ones. But, yeah, I don’t think guys even really care about procreating within a certain age range. It’s not like we can expect to interact with our kids when they’re born in our 50s

[peterrezeeek]

why u dont see a man and be in realationship and be a couple father and mother, why u would get a baby without father? if u really want sperm i can donate to u if u can get me the visa

[Asker]

I'm going to be wasting another 1-2 years into the whole courtship/dating process, going to movies with a boyfriend, eating outside and start all over again and he's going to take his time, likely want protected sex or ask if we can try living together first, etc. He's not going to be in a rush for a child like I am. What if the relationship ends in a year or 2 years and I'm still left childless? Plus I feel too tired and too old for dating, too tired of the ''I love you'' exchanges and the honeymoon period but no child. That makes me feel like a 9th grader stuck in a class full of 4th graders.

[Asker]

There is a risk that if I get into a relationship, start all over and it doesn't lead to having a child then I've wasted time for nothing. Honestly, I don't really care too much about the falling in love process, which is a long one.

[peterrezeeek]

so did u think about baby needs? can u take care of him? so he needs a lot of money for milk clothes etc...

[peterrezeeek]

i dont advice u to get a baby without a real husband... u can look for a good man and tell him that u need a baby and after marriage u can love each other... or u can find a child for adoption

[Asker]

I'm not interested in dating and going through all the process again. I'm too exhausted for that. I just want a baby.

[Asker]

Why would I settle for adoption when I'm still fertile?

[peterrezeeek]

ah ok so but its not god welling... its haram

[shortster]

It is basically the same urge. I have the same problem.

[Guardian45]

HA! You're NOT the first or last to hear Mother Nature's call. Thank your hormones!

[Guardian45]

Why have you waited SO LONG?

[Asker]

I waited too long for an idiot that turned out to be a scammer. Then I got into another relationship, wasting another year with an asexual man that's even financially stable and didn't even have his own home keys.

[Asker]

There went my years wasted, into the trash.

[Guardian45]

I have some suggestions, DM if you want info.

[Asker]

I just did

[Nahid1707]

You want to be a mother and this is completely normal


Happy birthday for near future

[Charliefretz329]

Very normal

[iSensei]

Come on whe can do it :)

[Amur8711]

I think this is completely natural for a woman to feel at your age that haven't had kids. All woman I think desire mother hood as some point. That desire to have a baby is also making you crave sex so you do it.

[Asker]

Yes and I'll just focus on having a child. The whole process of establishing a relationship is going to take too long. I don't feel like starting the dating process again.

[Amur8711]

How will you do that? Are you going to pick a sperm donor?

[Asker]

yes I'll go that route. It'll either be AI (artificial insemination) or NI (natural insemination aka sex)

[Amur8711]

I wish you the best with that!

[kareka]

I love wild sex so much

[Anonymous]

Well, it makes sense because you’re basically right at the edge of fertility for having a healthy baby even if you could still get pregnant in your 40s it wouldn’t be a good because of more risk

[Asker]

Yes and I'll just focus on having the child. Ideally it would've been great in a relationship that progresses to marriage but I'm likely not going to make it on time. The man would likely want to take 2-3 years in the process and I'll be nearly 40 by then.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah true

[Anonymous]

I just like to get fucked in the ass.

[Dantezam]

Favorite positions?

[Opinion Owner]

@Dantezam Leaning up against a wall or tree.

[Dantezam]

Hot!

[Anonymous]

I've donated sperm to 2 women who were in their mid-30s.

It isn't really an unusual thing especially these days.

Sex? What's prevented it from happening for 16 years?

[Asker]

Well I had to return to my country and kept waiting for my boyfriend to come and marry me. I waited and waited years for him but found out he was full of BS. Then got into another relationship in 2021 but we never had sex; he was asexual. At this point, it would be good finding a donor with the physical features I want. I can't find an attractive white man in my country that's willing to be a sperm donor. Sadly there aren't too many whites in my area.

[Opinion Owner]

You could always lower or be more realistic on your expectations. Sometimes just because he has a certain feature doesn't necessarily mean it gets passed on to his son/daughter.

[Asker]

Nope but there is a higher chance of my child coming out taller if I were to have a 5'10 donor at least instead of a shorter typical man of just 5'5 or 5'6 (average height for a man in my country), when I'm already 5'7 myself, taller than the average woman in my country. I'm tired of seeing nothing but men of indigenous features in my area. I just don't feel any attraction towards them... I can't help who I'm attracted to.