My boyfriend always masturbates even though we have sex everyday?

[Anonymous]

I've got a bit of a problem that's crushing my self esteem. I recently moved in my boyfriend. We are in our very early 20s, we've been dating for 5 years. We have sex very frequently and I think our sex life is great, but I'm not so sure if he does. He says he loves sex with me and that he is very happy with our sex life. But since I have moved in, I noticed that he masturbates a lot. I'm not mad about this, it's his body and he can do what he wants, but it is a bit concerning because I'm worried he's not satisfied by me. He masturbates while I'm at work, he masturbates while I sleep, he masturbates a couple hours after sex. but the thing is, I have sex with him multiple times a day. And he even masturbates a couple hours after we do it. That makes me feel like I'm not good in bed at all. I've asked him about it and he says that he loves sex with me and that masturbating is just different and masturbating is for relaxing and having personal time. I totally respect that, but if he likes sex with me as much as he says he does, why does he masturbate a couple hours after we do it? And since we have such frequent sex, why does he still feel the need to masturbate that much? He says he's always been like this and that I just noticed because I live with him now. I also just want to clarify that I am not a dead fish in bed.. I do any position he wants to try, I ride him, I let him do anal, I do doggystyle, I do missionary, I talk dirty, I let him be rough if he's in the mood for that, I kiss him and hold him, I moan and let him know Im enjoying it.. Could the problem be that maybe he doesn't think I'm attractive or that maybe my vagina doesn't feel that great? He is constantly feeling me up, cuddling me, kissing, and telling me how beautiful I am. He also says that my vagina feels good and is tight. He gets hard very easily for me. Am I just worrying for nothing or is this an issue? Why does he want to mssturbate so much even though he gets sex multiple times every day?

[5150beayotch]

I was told it's a normal addiction and behavior for dudes to constantly think about sex all day long, & need or desires to relief the urge to nut or just the soft sensation of euphoric pleasure to ease anxiety and day to day normal life, its self soothing. I get it though, because I needed help understanding why my boyfriend needed his penis pump everyday was disturbing to me. I felt unattractive questioning if I'm even his type, is my snatch loose for him, is he gay, am i boring in bed, is he talking to or seeing someone else, is he out of love with me, is the relationship over, should I cheat to avoid the hurt? He assured me I'm fine, & I just needed to stop bitching about it. Cause this shit hurts & I need to feel needed. Keep in mind, women hit their sexual peak mid 30s., even during pregnancies or at the start of their p-words. I'm 39, & I lowkey now love masterbating. It's just a different type of self pleasure. So I totally get it. Just tell urself at least he's not physically cheating nor bringing anyone else in ur home & maybe he's working on his stroke count for u so he doesn't nut so soon.

[Asker]

He masturbates after sex, which is why I feel like I'm not satisfying.. and I have a high libido. I have sex with him 1 to 3 times a day unless I'm on my period. If he masturbates AFTER sex tho does that mean I'm not doing it for him during sex?

[5150beayotch]

Just means It just simply still feels good. The thing about sex, is on different levels It feels good. Like having an organization for girls, then afterwards realizing u can still keep going, u may or may not nut again. But it still feels good. Point is he is sharing that moment with you. Sex doesn't really mean it has an end time just because u "finished" necessarily. Some people can just keep going. And some can enjoy it without Cumming. Some can cum then pass right out asleep, then some can cum and be energized. It's fun. Try to have fun with it, without overthinking ur the problem or that ur doing something wrong. I'm frustrated with my dude rn cause he has been sending dick pics and he isn't putting out himself has me feeling like a fiend. Sharing his dick without me being in the equation is a real problem. And it's creating a distance between us. Ur dude is at least including u, making sure ur taken care of and he isn't hiding it from u. It's awesome I think when u can be ur natural weird perverted self with ur SO IS AMAZING. Do u have any toys to play with urself, or does he have a penis pump, try exploring intimacy together. Try lingerie, or try asking him what he likes about it then Being that for him. But I get it, my wrist can get tired to. Maybe he has too much time or this is a phase until he gets into a new hobby. Either way, he's happy and it's natural. Don't worry. Have fun with yourself to. It's okay. Try it.

[Anonymous]

I think he gave a very logical/understandable and reasonable explanation. Listen to your boyfriend.
Masturbation and sex with a partner can give very different things, for me personally I don't compare them at all.. want of masturbation is as different as want for sex as it is to do sports. One cannot directly replace the other.
Though, you don't mention if he cums when you are having sex together.. if that is not the case I would also feel something was off.

[Asker]

Yes he always says that he cums in me. And I see evidence on the sheets after we have sex and everything, so yeah he's cumming during sex.

[RobT312]

Nothing wrong with this, I don’t think so. I have a similar relationship with my girlfriend.
we have a ton of sex as you do, but I masturbate a lot as well.
i am overly satisfied with my girlfriend but have been told I have a high sex drive.
masturbating releases that for me but it doesn’t replace sex. Sometimes on the weekends we will have sex 3x a day, but I’ll jerk off another 4. Sound like you guys?

[Asker]

Yes but do you masturbste after you have sex with her? I wouldn't have as much of a problem with this if he wasn't doing it AFTER we have sex. Makes me feel like I can't satisfy him or that my vagina doesn't get him off very well.

[RobT312]

Immediately after, no. For example , if we have sex on the weekend Overnight at 11pm, and 3 am , and 7 am, I’m totally satisfied and don’t even think about jerking off. Maybe I’d masturbate alone at noon in the shower if I’m horny

[Asker]

See, my boyfriend masturbates an hour or two after sex.. that's why I'm concerned that he's not getting satisfied by me..

[Asker]

Kinda sounds like he's not having very good orgasms with me right?

[RobT312]

Eh I don’t k ow about that... ask him. He’s prob always horny. Is he stressed? A good release always cures that!

[Asker]

Since I'm doing everything right during sex and doing everything he asks, the problem would have to be that my vagina isn't very stimulating right? Sorry. I would ask him but I've tried. He gets angry and shuts down and says he doesn't like talking about it.

[RobT312]

Huh, I think there is something wrong then. I love talking about sex with my partner

[Asker]

The problem almost has to be that my vagina isn't very satisfying then right? Because I do everything he asks me to during sex.

[Asker]

I'm enthusiastic during sex and enjoy a lot of various positions. And I let him do all kinds of dirty things that he wants. I don't think the sex is an issue. I'm thinking that maybe I have a physical problem since I can't satisfy him

[RobT312]

I wouldn’t blame yourself, it’s not u

[Asker]

It's upsetting because he won't even tell me what the problem is or how I could go about trying to fix it. He always says there's not a problem but I don't believe him. I've told him to just tell me what I could do to make sex better so I can satisfy him more and he won't even try to contribute anything to the conversation. I'm getting fed up. I don't want this to ruin our relationship. I don't want masturbating all the time to turn into something worse like him cheating on me because I'm bad at sex. I'm trying to solve the issue but I can't if he's not even going to try to talk to me about it..

[Asker]

If it's not me, then what could it be? He literally likes masturbating more than sex with me. How could the problem not be me.

[Asker]

This is ruining my self esteem. The last time I woke up a couple hours after sex and caught him after he had just got done jerking off. I felt horrible about myself the rest of the day and I'm starting to not want sex much anymore because it stresses me out just thinking about not satisfying him and I don't want to go through it. I feel like less of a woman because I can't satisfy my man.

[RobT312]

You being too hard on yourself. It’s not you. Make him talk about it, coming from a guy, it’s him

[AustinMan]

Talk to him about it with an eye on what he really wants. He may have some dark fantasies that you don't want to role play but you don't know until you ask. The same applies to you.

How to Talk to Your SO About Sex ↗

[Boromir]

Let it go. You’re having a good sex life together, let it be, it’s not because the sex with you is not satisfying enough, for what it’s worth, he’s reliving these scene’s in his head during masturbation. Boys will be boys.

[Asker]

He masturbates to porn? I doubt he's thinking about me if he's watching that, right?

[Boromir]

You’re inside his head? I often use porn to get in the mood and then will finish off with a mental image of having sex with my girlfriend, I can understand that it doesn’t feel nice for you but I really think you give to too much thinking…

[Asker]

I get that.. but why does he need to do it after we have sex unless he's not satisfied? He cums inside me everytime but maybe it's not a good orgasm because my vagina isn't that nice?

[Boromir]

That’s not possible, girls give that too much thought, a vagina is a vagina, some are a bit more tight some a bit more loose, also depending on how you can use your muscles, but it will _always_ be much, much, much nicer than our hand.

[Asker]

Do you masturbate AFTER having sex with your girlfriend though? That's what is concerning to me. I feel like he's not getting satisfied since he has to go and masturbate AFTER having me. :(

[Asker]

It's getting to the point where I don't really want to have sex anymore because I don't want to feel like this or think about it. I always walk in on him masturbating or I wake up an hour or so after what i thought was really great sex, only to find him masturbating on the couch. I feel like less of a woman since I can't satisfy him

[rachel776]

a lot of guys do that they just want the release

[Asker]

Yeah but why would he masturbate a couple hours after sex with me unless he just wasn't satisfied?

[rachel776]

one guy did it to me right after he came

[Asker]

He masturbated after sex with you?

[rachel776]

yes he liked a girl in a People magazine in my bathroom

[spartan55]

You are being ridiculous, and creating a problem in your head when there is none (a female calling card)
If your pussy wasn't cutting it why he still want it so much... just stop.

[DonkeyDan]

He obviously just has a very high sex drive, the issue is that you think it's a problem. If its not getting in the way of or affecting your sex life then there is no problem. Its not about you it's about him, most men masterbate even when they in a sexual relationship. As he said its about personal time, it's not a reflection on you and you shouldn't see it that way.

[Asker]

What does it mean if he's masturbating to porn a couple hours after we have sex tho? I understand if I'm at work or busy or something, but why does he want to do this while I'm sleeping after we have sex? He knows I'll have sex anytime. I've never turned it down..

[DonkeyDan]

Because sometimes we just like to please ourselves.

[Asker]

Yes, I get that.. but all the time and even after sex?

[DonkeyDan]

Why do you see it as such a big problem?

[Asker]

I'm obviously not satisfying him very much if he is masturbating again that soon after we have sex.

[DonkeyDan]

You don't understand men, it's got nothing to do with you satisfying him.

[Asker]

Masturbating right after sex is normal? Sure.

[DonkeyDan]

You said a couple of hours after before and for some guys yeah that can be normal.

[Asker]

This is ruining my self esteem. The last time I woke up a couple hours after sex and caught him after he had just got done jerking off. I felt horrible about myself the rest of the day and I'm starting to not want sex much anymore because it stresses me out just thinking about not satisfying him and I don't want to go through it. I feel like less of a woman because I can't satisfy my man

[DonkeyDan]

I do understand what you mean but again, it is unlikely that it has anything to do with you satisfying him. We are different from women, our satisfaction is short term, he's also young and is ready to be satisfied again soon after, sex doesn't last us through to the next time we have sex especially a guy in his 20s. You are looking at it from an emotional stand pint and that is not how men work with sex. If it is causing you this much anxiety over it then you have to sit down with him and tell him exactly what you are feeling and have a proper discussion about it, and both try and find a compromise.

[GenaBaby1995]

I use to hate that to and took me a long time to get over some guys are just horney I use to be like that. That’s what helped me i have to stop at a bathroom or even in my car when I was anyone fck me horny, lol

[Bricealan]

That is not unusual. My one-time-GF and I BOTH masturbated regularly, and we both knew it even though we fucked on the weekend, and sometimes during the week.

That said, my goofy wife, was LIVID about the thought of me jerking off 'since you have me" !

Go figure

[Asker]

Yes but did you masturbate a couple hours AFTER fucking your girlfriend? I don't care as much if he does this while I'm at work or something, but why does he masturbate AFTER sex if I satisfied him? Maybe the orgasm just wasn't very good with me or something?

[Bricealan]

I would fuck and probably eat my girlfriend on a date, and when I got 'home' or to my apt, I would jack off immediately or before going to sleep. I would jack off AGAIN just because of thinking of what she and I did just before. I think most men do that and maybe just don't openly admit it. Women take that "personally' thinking they did not 'satisfy' their husband or boyfriend but that is NOT the case, it is BECAUSE the sex was good for me that I jacked off afterward, remembering and thinking about it, OR even about some girl I was when we were out.

[Asker]

Yeah but he watches porn after sex.. he can't be thinking of sex with me..

[AviatorTom]

He told you that sex with you is great and that masturbating is different. Most of the time, we guys masturbate to relax and relieve stress.

I understand your concern, but it's not about you... it's him.

[Asker]

Yes but why does he need to masturbate AFTER we have sex. I understand if he does it while I'm at work or a few hours before sex, but why does he do it after we have sex unless he isn't satisfied by the sex?

[Asker]

I understand that I should ask him but I've tried. He gets angry and shuts down and says that he doesn't like to talk about this.

[AssholeNumberOne]

Worrying for nothing.

[CoolGuy7532]

It sounds like you have a good relationship and are pleasing each other. I don't think you should worry too much about it. A lot of guys his age are horny all the time. When he reaches his mid-30s, he probably will be satisfied with just sex.

[Slayerrrrrrr]

what do you think would be your reaction to finding a pocket pussy somewhere?😨

[BobbyC65]

Try having masturbation sections with each other while you stroke rubs his penis he fingers rubs your vagina. 💞

[kindaofawh0re]

He might have a higher sex drive than you, talk to him about it

[Sidexsideman63]

He just likes to jack off.

[ashish804]

may be he has higher sex drive

[StrawberryShake]

This is why I'm so happy dating an older man with a lower sex drive

[Mark987]

That is weird... honestly...

[Asker]

Is it me?

[okeydoke]

I think you’re worrying for no reason. It sounds like he just has a higher libido than you do and has a healthy way of managing it.

[Asker]

No, I have a high libido and he knows I'll have sex anytime he wants it. I've never turned it down and we have sex like 1 to 3 times every day. My main concern is that he masturbates an hour or two after we have sex. I'm worried I'm not satisfying him as well he says I do.

[Wise4myage]

As long as he isn't ignoring you, than I don't see anything wrong with this.

[TheFlak38]

he masturbates because you're a turn off

[TheBigGuy9]

Sounds like he needs to go to counseling. A healthy sex life is good, but damn dude is obsessed with it.

[Twalli]

If he's cumming when you have sex it's good for him. Until he turns down sex in favor of masturbating it's not a problem. You can get him hard and he stays hard during sex. That should be your only concern.