My boyfriend doesn't go down on me long enough for me to orgasm

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost six months and have just started having sex, although we have had oral sex before (usually me to him). Vaginal sex has always been painful for me no matter what I try and I could never orgasm from it. I've only ever been able to orgasm with one person through oral sex and it usually took 15-30 mins. My boyfriend doesn't go down on me long enough for me to orgasm. He just does it for a couple of min until I'm wet and then goes on to intercourse, but it makes me frustrated because I actually want to enjoy our sex life too. How can I tell him that I 'need more time'. He claims that he loves giving oral but told me once that he can last 10mins, his ex was a lot faster. I don't want him to get tired though, but plenty of times I'll continue to give him oral after I'm already tired of doing it. He sais he doesn't want to have intercourse anymore because it hurts me but how can I tell him that I still want oral sex. I really enjoy it but I've stopped him from doing it in the past because I wanted to wait. How can I tell him what I want without being embarrassed?

[Adun99]

well, I think you should tell him that "at least this one time" you wan't him to give you an orgasm via oral sex. That is: not as foreplay but as the real deal, tell, him that clearly and that you "really want it", and he'll probably give it a try for you. (otherwise he's a selfish jerk).

However, on the wary side: I've been with girls who take long to orgasm. I mean really long, and there is a limit... the tongue gets tired, the whole neck area gets tired. If you are like most girls and tighten up your legs around his head try to relax instead (at least in my case it makes it more difficult for me, and my tongue and muscles get tired/aking faster). 20 minutes is normal, but after 30 minutes it gets hard, and I mean "The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised" hard. The tongue starts to ache in a way the penis just doesn't, and it gets unresponsive (which is frustraiting if you haven't made her cum).

My best advise is: ask him to give you oral sex as a means for you to come (not just as foreplay). If he gives you his best effort, and tries again and again, then you owe it to you both of you to train your mind into coming faster, which you can do by masturbating often (at least in my experience, girls who masturbate are really, and I mean really fast, and those who don't are the ones that need more and more time)

[Nixalot]

It shouldn't be embarrassing, you need to communicate with him about what you want. If he says he is getting tired from going down on you for so long, have him rub your clit and finger you for a little bit and then go down on you. This may also help with the pain factor, as being fingered slowly gets your body use to having something in it AND the closer you get to orgasm your vaginal canal widens which should also lessen the pain factor. (Had a similar problem with an ex and this was the saving cure)

PS: you should have smacked the back of his head for comparing you and his ex-girlfriend sexually.

[toosexualcat]

If it's embarrasing to ask for what you want, you aren't ready to have sex. Maybe that's why it hurts? You're not ready to be open to sex... could be a psychological or physical block... probably the first. Maybe you have 'good girl' complex or something. Sex isn't supposed to hurt.

OTOH if he's not waiting enough to get you aroused then yes it'll hurt because you won't be wet enough. Try using lubes and if it still hurts, then go back to what I said, physical or psychological blocks. Could be both...

That said, say to him, I want oral because that's the only way I can cum. Or ask him to finger you or whatever. Tell him, if he can turn you on before the touching or oral, you'll come faster than just ten min of half ass oral.

As for the ex comment, tell him he's being an ass, you aren't his ex. If he wants someone like her, the door's right there, don't let it hit him in the ass on his way out. Seriously. That's just rude.

[smichelle]

make it known. if he has no idea he isn't pleasing you obviously he is just going to keep half assing the job. most men want to please you and let you finish. if you make it known your not finishing I promise he will try to do his best to get you there.

[nicksterx33]

You're going to just have to be straight up with him. It's normal for girls to take longer than guys and intercourse can be painful if you aren't prepared, so to speak.

[toulouse]

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost six months and have just started having sex, although we have had oral sex before (usually me to him)."

-- Usually me to him?

Don't you think that's a problem? START WITH THAT.

[coolbreeze]

Before you go down on him make him go down on you first and talk to him about trying to get you off. You both should have a talk about this. That he hasn't been satisfying you enough and that he should go down on you long enough for you to orgasm. Oral sex should be enjoyable for both partners and he needs to get you off because you get him off.

[l-hedoniste]

"How can I tell him that I 'need more time'." Have you tried, "I need more time"?.

"how can I tell him that I still want oral sex." Have you tried, "I still want oral sex"?

Notice a pattern? Please tell me you notice a pattern.

[MrEM4N]

Tell him to read "She Comes First" by Ian Kerner or "I <3 Female Orgasm" by Dorian Solo. It'll explain why you need oral and foreplay better than anyone on here could in under 3000 characters.

[Reiki_Z]

tell him you want him to do it for more time

dont be embarrassed its only love

buy lube for sex

and or oral so it taste better too

but you shud still have sex with him cause then your both happy

but just make sure he eats you out first for the time before he even starts to get hard

or inbetween position

[Littletad]

Wow he's selfish. And why does it hurt? Size? If it continues to hurt you should probably see a doctor.

But he's got to compromise. He's only thinking of his needs and not yours.

[debsman]

One of the biggest keys to a good relationship is communication. That inclides being able to talk,(not complain), about sex. Since you know your body better than he does, you might need to show him where to use his tongue when he is going down on you. You could even reach down and pull up your clitoral hood so he can lick your clit directly. And the last place to discuss sex is in bed.

[longrodvonhugendong]

"Yeahhhh... so um... you know how you orgasm during sex... and I don't? Can we... um... change that? Basically what I'm saying is... I want you to %$@ my !@#*&ing %$!@ until I %#$@ like a &#@$%$#% and &$#%@ me until I scream '%#@$#%@ #$*%& &%$@#$#'! Ahem... so yeah. Let's do that."

[Anonymous]

Doesn't he feel bad that it's only him that's cumming? Because he should...