My boyfriend fell asleep when pleasuring me?

[Anonymous]

We’ve been having problems for a while now on his end with ED. He still needs to get medical advice because we think it’s hormonal. He’s been this way since we met. Thing is, he actually fell asleep whilst fingering me last night. We had already had sex and he came but it took him a while.

Honestly, I just feel like shit and I got so mad at him. I said I would never fall asleep on him like that and obviously he makes me feel
really undesirable and like he can’t be bothered pleasuring me. The ED is one thing but falling asleep is another. He said I need to be more understanding as he has a problem. I said I’m not instigating any more. I can’t handle feeling this way.

Then he got upset and cried and said he doesn’t feel good enough which made me cry and it’s just a big mess. I guess some people can live without sex? I don’t want to lose him. I need some advice

[CoolGuy7532]

You need to give him more time. You guys need to figure out the ED issue. He might not be getting enough sleep. You might need to pick a time when you're both really awake. There are other important aspects to a relationship other than sex. Try to be open-minded and work things out.

[Asker]

His love is so important and more important than sex but I’d be lying if I said this doesn’t upset me a lot. He can do it sometimes and then others turn into a nightmare like this

[Asker]

It makes me feel like it’s me. Honest to god, I’d never fall asleep Giving him a handjob

[CoolGuy7532]

Yeah, I get what you're saying. You just need to explain to him what your expectations are in the bedroom. If he isn't feeling into it, you should wait till another day.

[DonkeyDan]

Ok why hasn't he got medical help yet? He clearly has some medical issues here and it's bit just the ED, people don't just fall asleep during an activity. Is he often tired? Tell me a bit more about him in terms of his health?

[Asker]

Yes he’s a little overweight, he was falling asleep when I came home from work but later seemed ok so I instigated. He is overweight a bit. I’m trying to get him to exercise with me. He’s trying to get a doctors appointment and it is difficult where we are but not impossible. He’s just prioritising work. He recently got a new job

[DonkeyDan]

Right ok so he is a bit overweight. What is his age? Does he often get tired after eating?

[DonkeyDan]

Sorry should have said I have a medical background, just trying to help workout what night be going on with him.

[DonkeyDan]

If you'd rather discuss it in private please message me

[Asker]

Thank you this is really helpful. So he’s 25 and weighs about 17 stone and he is about 6”3

[Asker]

He eats quite a lot and gets tired sometimes

[DonkeyDan]

Ok thanks. Do you thinjnge drinks a lot of fluid, not alcohol but just liquid, does he seem like he's thirsty a lot?

[DonkeyDan]

Sorry damn phone, does he drink a lot

[Asker]

He’s always sweating tbh. Think he drinks a fair amount

[DonkeyDan]

Ok so I think there is a chance he might have early onset type 2 diabetes. It will account for some of the issues he is having. It can only be confirmed via an HbA1c blood test. He should also have his hormone levels checked but type 2 diabetes can cause hormone issues. Hopefully he can get to see the doctor soon and get the answers he needs, well both of you need really. In the meantime it's wouldn't hurt for him to start watching what he eats and get some exercise, if he is diabetic he's going to have to drop that weight. If you got any questions please feel free to ask me, and good luck.

[Asker]

Thank you so much. Diabetes did cross my mind but you’re right, he really needs to get himself looked at. He has a weird lump in his groin too which appeared from nowhere and he’s had for weeks now

[DonkeyDan]

If he mentions when he tries to get an appointment that he is concerned about diabetes he should be able to get an appointment a bit quicker. I don't know what country you are in but their might be other options to get an emergency doctors appointment.

[nachosaresexy]

That's pretty rough but assuming it was a one time thing, try not to dwell on it too much. Maybe initiate earlier in the day/evening, or not always in bed, basically try to switch things up. Does that make sense?

[Asker]

You wouldn’t believe the things I’ve done to switch it up. Sex swings role play dress up butt plug. You name it I’ve done it. Same results

[Yourfriend2021]

Maybe he's working too much and if you love him try to work things out when he's not tired and buy a dildo to help yourself.

[Asker]

I shouldn’t need a dildo. I have a young boyfriend at 25 who this just shouldn’t be happening with. This is so upsetting. I just feel like it’s all me and my fault

[Yourfriend2021]

It's not your fault, maybe he's working too much.

[Anonymous]

It’s possible he’s not that attracted to you. Either that or he’s got a real health issue, stress is a big one. A super stressed and tired guy won’t be a good sex partner

[Anonymous]

U ever thought of u getting a sex toy?

[Asker]

Like to use together or by myself? I never thought of it

[Opinion Owner]

Well both. I hate to b that way to him but if ur not happy sexually, u may have to take care of it yourself.

[Asker]

But is he just being lazy? I don’t know because he is a little overweight and falls asleep a lot

[Opinion Owner]

Ahh. No. He’s got more problems than that. I’m sorry to say. Wouldn’t it b hot if u had a guy that wasn’t overweight and didn’t have ED and made u cum all the time?

[Asker]

I love him tho

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah I get that. But is he the only guy u been with?

[Asker]

No I’ve had one other boyfriend who was very sexually experienced but not a good person. He also hurt me and I know this guy would never do that so I choose him over sex. As disappointing as it is

[Opinion Owner]

Ahh ok. Yeah I don’t like it when guys hurt girls. But wish u had better sex. Hell I’m kinda in the same boat. Haha

[Asker]

What’s your situation?

[Opinion Owner]

I have a very high sex drive & I love sex but I don’t get it as much as I’d like to because my girl doesn’t have as high as a drive.

[Asker]

Do you just help yourself more?

[Opinion Owner]

U mean masturbate more?