My boyfriend hurts me if I don't want sex, what should I do?

Question

My boyfriend always asks me for sex and it's fine I like sex but he wants it to much, he wants it in the morning after work or on days of during the day and before bed and sometimes he wakes up in the night and wakes me up to suck him or or something, if I refuse he try's to grab my boob or bum and squeezes really hard and if I say no in the night heel start rubbing my clit and putting his fingers in my vagina, it really hurts. Once we had sex 6 times, but I live him and want to be with him but I can't do it no more and once I didn't shave because I though we weren't going to have sex he got a pair of tweezers forced me down and to the plucked them out, even when I'm on my period he wants sex and I feel uncomfortable with that but be forces me, when I was on my period once he made me let him put my tampon in, he buys sex products and ties me up. I can't do it anymore, I don't no if he does it maliciously or thinks he's doing anything wrong, once I was say stop stop he put socks on my mouth so I couldn't take, I tell him but he don't listen, I don't know what to do, I love him so much should I just carry on?

BabeBarlow91 · Accepted Answer

I wonder what it is that you love about him if he's forcing you to do some things against your will? What does he do that balances out the above behaviour?

in my opinion, if you're tired of all his demands and he doesn't listen to you and then forces you to do what he wants, then he doesn't respect you because he feels that he doesn't have to. He doesn't listen because he knows he can get you to do what he wants. He doesn't pay attention to your needs because he knows you will cave in. You are a big part of the problem because you have allowed this to happen and then continue. Perhaps he mistakenly believes that you enjoy it because he gets away with it. Your relationship has no boundaries and he is the king.

You need a really honest and open conversation where you tell him everything about his behaviour that upsets you. You need to be strong with this guy because from what I've read, he doesn't believe he needs to change. in my opinion he will amp up his behaviour to the point where he breaks you mentally more and more. Either say something and stick with it or get out and stay out.

Basketballchick4eva · Accepted Answer

You drop his ass sweetheart!
That's sexual harassment and the majority of the time he is doing it against your will.
You can't love a person like that honey. You just can't.
It'll break you and tear you apart inside.
What he's doing to you is not out of love or affection. What he's doing is out of cruelness and what seems to be his insatiable needs.
You don't deserve this kind of treatment and he doesn't deserve you.
You need to let go of those who cause you pain, both physical and emotional or else your gonna be stuck in that relationship and eventually your going to believe that what he is doing is right.

unicornsandglitter · Accepted Answer

For starters you are practically getting raped and sexually assaulted. If you don't consent to having sex than it is pretty much rape. he also is a saddist that seems to enjoy torturing you while you have sex. I mean what fucking man takes tweezers at you, how fucking disgusting of him. You have a right to say you don't want this and you Should damn well not feel bad that you don't like this. hun, there is nothing good about this relationship and it will probably get more violent and abusive over time. You need to leave him as soon as you can, for your own safety and well being.

XRabbitHeartX · Accepted Answer

Oh my gosh. Read what you just wrote and tell me if you think you should stay. If you cannot see how messed up this is then I'm lost for words. You love someone who abuses and hurts you. I can't even...

Red_Arrow · Accepted Answer

You have very serious problems. And the worst is that you have no idea what you are doing or what you want. You say you can't do this anymore. then you say you can't leave him. You tell us he abuses you physically by squeezing your boob real hard, hurting your vagina with his fingers, plucking hairs with tweezers, stuffing socks in your mouth, etc., yet you call him a lovely guy and say you trust him. And now it appears he is going to force you to have sex with his best friend. The pervert is using you and abusing you, and you are not smart enough to see it. Instead you keep saying how much you love him. He is an animal. There is nothing there to love!

He will keep getting worse and you are apparently going to keep letting him. You are going to be very, very hurt some day and you will still be letting him hurt you.

You ask what to do. Several people have told you, but you are ignoring them and saying how much you love him. I don't know what it is, but it can't be love. You are in a very sick relationship.

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

This is extreme controlling behavior which should not be tolerated unless it is a turn on for you. It will get worse as time passes. Love is not enough to make a relationship work; you must have love, trust, and respect. If you do not have trust and respect (and it appears that you do not) then your relationship is doomed. If he does not view his behavior as a problem, you have only two choices: accept his as he is, including his deviant behavior, or leave him. If you post this question as a poll and ask advice concerning which option you should select, the vote will be almost unanimous for you to leave him.

AustinMan · Answer

He's clearly a sexual sadist and enjoys hurting you as a form of punishment. If that's not your game, and it sounds like it definitely isn't, I suggest you move on. In the meantime, next time he hurts you, haul off and slap the fire out of him.

BaileyisDarcy · Answer

You have to leave him. That's an abusive relationship right there. You have to get out. Love him or not, just get out.

musicbrain5 · Answer

Leave him. He sounds abusive and doing sexual things without your consent is assault.

Riri5129 · Answer

Hun, that is rape.
But! Does he think you're just saying stop to turn him on? Sometimes that's a turn on for guys. But with holding you down and using tweesers and plucking out the hair, that is just plain wrong. No matter what anyone tells you, you can always say no. Don't let him push you around. Does he love you or the sex?

MosaicMind · Answer

kick him where it hurts. Then dump him.

knight1986 · Answer

Nobody should force you to do anything you don't want to... having said i do know how some guys feel about not having sex... some build up huge testosterone type pressure and need to reduce it... sex is that release mechanism. He needs to seek some help... it might not be his fault. You need to be strong and tell him No, else its going to hurt you a lot. I know you love him and thats why he needs to seek out help. Stay strong... don't beat yourself up

Paint_bubbles · Answer

Leave him! He doesn't love you, he loves sex! If you really just can't leave him tell him how you feel but if he doesn't chill, you need to leave. That's not a healthy relationship. Maybe he won't realize what he has until it's gone. You also should stick up for yourself, when you say no, you mean no. Don't let him touch you. Leave the house. Get away from him. He needs to know when you say no, you mean no. He isn't respecting you and you could count that as almost rape!

BarbaraP · Answer

Forget about your love, you need to leave him asap. He could be the best person in the world from how you see it, but if he treats you like that he's no better than a raper.

mithramitzmittu · Answer

He's technically raping you. You should dump his ass off and report it.

sobg71124 · Answer

I don't think he has the right to you in that way at all, if you are not even married to him. And I think when you asked the question, you knew the answer already. It sounds like you are mostly an instrument for his lust. And not much more.

ButtHoleSandwich · Answer

First he is forcing you to do something against your will. This is rape or maybe even sexual assault. You staying is like saying you agree to it. Leave his ass and move out. Sorry that happened!!! You need to have the cops involved in my opinion

Bubblesi · Answer

Where do you girls find these guys? Seriously. What you descripe at very least borders on rape if it is not already there. LEAVE HIM IMMIDIATELY. If he doesn't back off, go to the police. You are not only being abused in very serious manner but might also be in actual danger of harm coming to you. Also I would advice you to seek therapist. Tolerating this kind of beahaviour is in my opinion indicative if serious mental health issues.