Sexual Relationships
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My boyfriend told me he had a threesome a long time ago and I can't get over it?

I've been dating someone for a few weeks and I only just found out he had a threesome when he was younger. I can't seem to get over it. I think it says a lot about his character and the fact he could be that intimate with two people at once makes me feel like he objectifies women and is more likely to be unfaithful. I can't imagine marrying a man who has had a threesome. I don't know if I'm being silly though or if I'm throwing away something really good for no good reason. Thinking of him doing that makes me feel physically sick and I feel like I don't even know him. Am I overreacting?
1 0

Most Helpful Girls

  • This is abit of an over reaction. People are entitled to their own sexual freedoms and it’s not your place to judge his past. It’s not like he was cheating or abusing his previous partners (well I hope not). Those kinds of things are what should be considered as red flags. It was a consensual activity between three people. So for it to happen the women would have had to want it as well. These things go both ways. Everyone is different and and so are their values and perspectives on sex. It was the past and you shouldn’t let something that didn’t involve you affect what you have now. Our back grounds are different. A lot of my friends and partner/ previous partners have had threesomes. And these people aren’t sex crazy or masoginists. They are ordinary people who go to work and pay their bills. A lot of people in long term relationships have had threesomes in the past. It’s honestly not a big deal. Judge him for who he is now and how he treats you.

  • He may have been experimenting at the time and now regrets it.

    You aren't silly. Everyone thinks differently , so if it's an issue for you , that's ok. If it affects you then it's not silly

    But he can't undo his past so you have two choices; focus on a future with him and let go of what can't be changed, or make it a deal-breaker and end the relationship.

    If you can't accept his past , you'll never be happy with him. It would be unfair for him if you stayed with him , then forever judged him on his sexual history with someone else

    • Can you please follow my account I want your opinions on my questions. And you seem to be a very experienced girl in this app😊😂

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  • must been fun person to be around, but that just means was two women or his best friend and one girl that makes some interesting imagination... means it was woman sandwich first one and if was his friend and girl that means guy sandwich you can ask him right was he on top or on bottom?

Most Helpful Guys

  • Sweetheart you're wrong on this case of most things you've said right now. FIRSTLY! It's up to BOTH of you AND your partner to even get in a relationship with each other in the first place. If you're with him and you don't feel happy over one thing you don't like then like most people. You've practically said YOLO and became his boyfriend before being friends first. Big mistake. OR he had a thresome, he told you the truth, he is not cheating on you, did nothing wrong/illegal and just get over it. Don't over think what was done in the past unless it was done in the present.

  • If it's a deal breaker for you, then you should probably not go forward. But it's possible he may have not liked the experience and only want monogamous from now on. Just depends on the situation

    • I dated someone before who wanted a threesome and he wanted to see me with another man so to make him happy I flirted with another man that he picked out and he used it as an excuse to cheat on me and if he loved me why would he want to see me with another man or how could he think about being with another woman it was only a year after we got together and the relationship was still new and fresh he shouldn't have been bored. It damaged the relationship so much that we broke up and it effected me. This new guy has already asked me if I would have a threesome with him. He's done it twice before so it's obviously not a one off or accident. I viewed him at this perfect person I wanted to marry and now that image is shattered imagining him using two women like that.

    • I can understand why you don't want to go down that route given your past experience. If he is adamant about doing it and you're extremely uncomfortable, I don't see how you guys can be long term :/

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What Girls & Guys Said

3 11

  • Personally, yes I think you’re massively overreacting however it’s how you feel. You’re not going to get over this, and it’s important for people to be in relationships with people who share their values and beliefs even if they seem silly to another and clearly this one doesn’t

  • i can side with you on this one, if my boyfriend told me that he did that in the past i would feel likemaybe he would want it now. and even if i'd ask him and he'd say no he doesn't want it now with me, then i would feel like maybe he is lying or maybe his answer may change. i would worry without a doubt. but i guess if he shows he is telling the truth then it will be okay. only time will help

  • This is a good reason why one should not always bare one's soul about everything they did with a previous sex partner.

    Honestly, it's no big deal. It happened before you two met and it just means he tried something once.

  • You're completely overreacting, I haven't had a threesome and even I know that it's not about objectifying women. The fact that you're jumping to that conclusion over him being honest with you says more about you than him, you seriously need to relax.

  • Have a word with yourself

  • You are completely overreacting.

  • Your being silly

  • Indian from dubai... shaikh

  • I had a foursome once with a married couple, and those two had the strongest relationship I've ever seen.

  • Some people love threesomes and other don't. Don't judge him for this.

  • Mayne try a trio yourself xD

  • For me that would be a reason to break up. I know myself and I would never ever get over it and in the relationship Id have trust issues and feel like Ill never be enough for him. Lifes too short for bullshit like this. there's plent of other guys who aren't sluts like this guy. Get another one.

  • how long do you know boyfriend?

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