Sexual Relationships
+1 y

My current girlfriend has a lot more experience than me?

I mean sexually. We haven't done anything yet but I'm nervous about when we do. I've only ever had experience with two people and it was very vanilla type stuff. Just the basics. But my girlfriend has had a lot of experience experience with being a sub and other kinky stuff. I just feel worried about not performing as well as she'd want or expect. How could I prepare or practice to be better and be more of a dom and other kinky stuff?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Google "BDSM manual" and skim read some stuff, bear in mind most of people only want to be kinky sometimes while having sex, while for others it is a lifestyle. Here is a pdf you can skip through and skim this.
    https://www. google. com/url? sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=http://wonder-woman. info/ds/Domination%2520and%2520Submission%2520-%2520The%2520BDSM%2520Relationship%2520Handbook. pdf&ved=2ahUKEwjH7KismMvpAhUHSxUIHV7DBRoQFjAEegQIARAB&usg=AOvVaw2wr3Xdod6Qt3zik1xZWW1h
    Learn some real basic knots, Google "Two Knotty Boys" maybe.
    You could watch some example videos google "ASMR male domination". I think that would take you to an ok level. You can look for erotic fiction, for individual role plays like police officer erotica.
    If you wanted too, tbh I haven't you could read top books, join a online forum even go to a local dungeon and prehaps get help from a mistress.

    • Obviously, playing with you partner is the best bet but when it comes to outside the bedroom research yes there are things you can do.

    • I think everyone has a safeword it's VERY important you understand that one. Also you can have a word to both break both your and her characters and to reinitiate ( say to ask something out of character). You can have some kind of traffic light system. Even a word if one person would like things to gentle not rough until they tell you otherwise. Aftercare is also VERY important. If you have a good set of security handcuffs with no safety, make sure they have a lock to stop them tightening. Do not lose the key, in fact have a back up that stays in the same place.

  • its kind of one of those things , i ran into something similar with a girl from gym , we never ended up having sex though partly cause of covid 19 and fact i wasn't able to see her at gym anymore. but she had a couple boyfriend's before me so obviously more experienced with dating and stuff like that. it turned out she even had a secret tattoo on her side ribs i never knew existed so obviously she had a side which was wilder and such. that i wasn't perhaps prepared to deal with.

    i think when dealing with girls and situations like this , you sort of have to just jump into it regardless of level of experience. if the girl is interested in doing things with a guy she likely isn't that worried about this anyways. some even find it hot to be able to do things with guys who haven't done it before.

Most Helpful Girls

  • The best way to practice is with her. If she knows you don't have a lot of experience she'll probably take the lead for the first time, the more yous do it the more it will just flow.

  • most woman have more practice when it comes to sex than men

    • I’ve experienced the very opposite lol

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 11

  • Is being a dominant, potentially sadistic lover of interest to you. Would you like to spank her, for instance? Not because she wants to but because you need to.

  • Every time you have sex with a new person, at least if it's not just purely in the sense of "lets just f##k" it takes time to know what works for each other.
    Some people like it soft, slow and sensual. Others like being cuffed or tied up. Some like it rough or even being degraded.
    Everyone is different. But ultimately, practice makes perfect.

  • Let her know and let her teach you. If she's worth it, she'll stick with you.

  • " just feel worried about not performing as well as she'd want or expect."
    Tell her exactly that and I doubt it will be a problem. Let her lead you.

  • Don't let her get her way with you.

  • Nothing u can do she’s ruined

  • Practice with her.. and it should be exciting for you to see what she can do for you adding to this the challenge you have to make her satisfied

  • Use that to your advantage, learn as much as u can.

  • My advice would be to talk with her about it, if you haven't already. Let her know about your anxieties to that regard and asked her to be patient with you and to explain things, to you show you things, and don't try to do things before you are ready to do them.

  • Cliche answer but communication is the best, let her know

  • Let her guide you, I’m sure it will be fun for her

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