My daughter asked me about oral sex should I assume she active?

Question

meetkitty123 · Accepted Answer

Some of these responses seem silly to me.
You're her mother! You are the most important role model in your daughters life. You need to be modest but honest with her and The only person you need to be asking if your daughter is active is your daughter! (Honestly I doubt that she is but ASK HER!)
1st Consider yourself lucky she is asking you. That in itself speaks volumes about your relationship with her! 2nd again consider yourself lucky she came to you... You want to be the main influence for her and not the media or her friends or the web.
I know having the "talk" is a bit nerve wecking but its time to do so since she broke the ice and came to you for advice.
My daughter is 12 and she broke the ice when she asked me what the kids meant when they say "V Card". Now seeing that she is asking me a sex question I turned quite nervous but its important to keep your cool and so I did. The talk went smooth. 1st I answered her questions and then I asked a few of my own and warned her not to take to heart or believe everything she hears from her friends or reads on the web. As the conversation went along I could tell by her answers she was just curious (Though I had no doubt she was not active). I took advantage of the conversation to squeeze in a few warnings about STDs, about sex is serious and not to be taken lightly and should be performed by mature individuals. Waiting til your grown is best and I squeezed in the talk about protection. I honestly went with the flow and based my talk with how comfortable she seemed. I was modest and kept to simple short answers or light explanations. Then
I told her if she has concerns/questions to come to me first.
Some months later she came to me again but this time asking permission to date... So I thought she meant the boy she had a crush on... Who also has a crush on her But no apparently She grew tired of waiting for him to ask her out (I did take this time to explain dhe can fo thr asking out herself) and someone else has asked her instead... Now brace yourself for the head spinner... Her best friend... A GIRL... asked her out... Yes a head spinner for sure...
A double whammy... She asking me permission to date and telling me she might be interested in girls... First I made sure to tell her I was proud of her for coming to me and second I reasured her I was not mad at her for thinking she might like girls... Then I took the opportunity to explain the challenges that one may face in such a relationship and reasured her I had her back... I let her know I love her no matter what and then once again I squeezed in the talk about stds and the importance of trying to keep to
abstinence while young and not yet an adult. (during this talk I also squeezed in a little yalk about drugs and drinking) As a parent we have to be a voice of reason for our children while being mindful of their feelings and concerns. There no one better to guide our children than us. So take this as a blessing. She came to YOU! Read some parenting articles on how to talk to your preteen/teen about sex (I did when she first told me she had a crush on a boy) and keep an open and positive dialogue with her. Never be afraid to ask your child questions about about her and her friends. You have to keep yourself in the "Know" when it comes to your children. Learn her life her friends who is doing what... You must ask. You must listen. You must fo your best not to judge. You must guide her. You must talk to her!

Emii_Urashima · Accepted Answer

In western cultures, most parents make a mistake by trying to avoid explaining the basics about sex to their daughters. The girls end up making mistakes because of this. I am in a very open-minded society and I learned early from TV and the media, but my mother had a talk with me about sex when I was very young. She told me if I wanted to experiment, do it with another girl around my age. I now know that most mothers give that advice to their daughters. That is harmless and obviously nobody is going to get pregnant or forced into anything. My first experience with oral was with another girl who was about a year older than me. It was amazing and I have wonderful memories of it. My mother even gave me my first toy not long after that. Later, we had a talk about boys and safe sex. I was on birth control for several months before my first time with a boy, and I made him wear a condom anyway. In my country, we can even buy beer and Saki in vending machines as easy as buying a coke but we do not have a problem with teenage drinking. Why? Because if you forbid a teenager to do something, they want to find out why. Teenagers drink because they think it is "cool". It is just another drink in the machine, here. We still have cigarette vending machines, too, but teenagers aren't smoking as much as they do in the west.

Citizenkirk · Accepted Answer

I'm going to give you the best life advice someone gave me and it's probably going to be the only relative relevant advice you can Bank on, and if you don't capitalize on this advice, then don't ever ask for advice from anyone ever again, because it won't be as good as this advice. Don't ever, ever, under any circumstances, for any reasons, ever, assume anything, about anything. As far as your daughter goes, especially, especially, even if you were dumb enough to assume anything, about anything, about anything, never assuming anything involving your daughter, because your daughter is not the most worthless thing in your life, she's the most precious thing in your life, and making an assumption is a pretty good way of letting someone know that they're worthless, and you are not worthless, so don't assume as far as your yard goes again don't assume there's no excuse for appearing out to talk to the kids not spend time with the kids that's getting to know the kids you shouldn't have to assume you should be engaged with your kid you should be enjoying your kids you should be spending time with them getting to know who they are and not so you don't have to guess and assume cuz your kids can be growing up eventually and you're going to wonder where all the time wanting you're going to wonder who's a stranger was that you told yourself you loved and you actually do love but you don't know and you ought to yourself and ought to your daughter to love this person and to know that person as much as you love them so you actually know who it is that you brought into this world and just don't say okay this kidding actually find out what's going on in their life they already know you love her them just show them if you want to know if she's active ask her you'll have to crass about you don't have to accuse her you can do it in a cool way you can let her know that you care and you don't think less of her based on how she responds just be your parent be your friend you can be both the parent and friend part of you can coexist

ohshee · Accepted Answer

You have to accept and assume that she is or will be like in 20 minutes because you need to protect her with either birth control our knowledge you are the mother she is the student she needs knowledge and wisdom not criticism and not a a demand of do not do that so yes you need to talk to her about all that in a way that you are not telling her what to do because you have no more controllers at it's her body she's going to do what she wants to do when she wants to do it whether you give her permission or not you need to give her insight thank you for the knowledge to know the difference and not be afraid you coming to ask you about everything so yes assume that she is because that way you know if she's not it's going to happen soon sole protector in many ways but don't tell her what she can do what you can do because you know she will go straight out and say you're not the boss of me if you will do it and do it with the wrong guy it doesn't think or cared and he has no common sense to use protection either you are the protector mom protect your daughter in a loving and caring way can you have to believe in the foundation that you have set raising her already to know that she would do the right thing but you also need to let her know if you were there for her

AustinMan · Answer

Not necessarily. Maybe it came up in one of those girls talk conversation. My daughter asked me that question when she was 13. Turns out she was asking for a friend whose dad would not react well to the question.

purplepoppy · Answer

She may be but it's best not to jump to conclusions and just be thankful she feels ok approaching you with these questions.

Lliam · Answer

Never assume.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

How old is she?

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

Not necessarily, they ask about bloody anything, usually it seems just to embarrass you.

chance are it’s been chatted about with friends, which means invariably by the time they ask, they know almost everything in theory and I am sure at time they do it for shits and giggles.

summiter · Answer

She obviously know what oral sex is. I would applaud her for asking questions and depending on how old she is I would assume that she might be interested in sex. Have a good talk about birth control with her.

EmmaMary · Answer

I seem to remember you asking this a while back.

JPrez · Answer

Maybe not. It could be she's heard about it from friends or someone is pressuring her to do it.

kkirk4442 · Answer

You don't give her age. She may just be curious. However, the more specific her questions, the more likely that she is active, or planning on being active. Consider that if she is not active now, she very likely will be down the road. So don't shy away from giving her good and complete answers, as her safety and her enjoyment through life will partially depend on your answers. At the same time, don't over think it. Just give her the facts, as they say. You might want to throw in some of your personal information if you have something that will be useful. You have a real opportunity here. Be happy that you have a relationship where she trusts you and she comes to you for information. So be honest, and don't shy away from giving the direct information.

Agape93 · Answer

How old is she? And you?

MillenniumBill · Answer

Yes, or at the least she's about to be, and very very soon now.

bowenw · Answer

She may not be active, but I suggest giving her an honest answer. If you don't, she'll simply learn about it online or from her friends. I think it's very important that she be able to ask you anything without any fear of being judged. You could ask her where she heard about it or what's she knows about it.

zamasux · Answer

How old is your daughter?

If she is a teenager she must be curious about sex, oral sex etc. This is perfectly normal. Not necessarily she is engaged in such activity. You daughter is asking you about this adult stuff that's a good part, otherwise there are plenty of sources out there to explore adult stuff.

Wise4myage · Answer

No, maybe she is just curious.

Gedaria · Answer

Possible , but my step daughter asked me about it. She had been noseing in my phone and read a text from her mum to me.

swettannie · Answer

how old is she?

Meldrum · Answer

Probably. To ignore the possibility that your child isn't sexually active in some way is courting disaster. It's better to prepare her with knowledge and protection.

Glasgow55 · Answer

Not necessarily. She could have heard/ seen about this anywhere; school friends, internet, books etc. She could just be curious. In my opinion.

SirJohn42 · Answer

I would say curious stage.

COMMODOREII · Answer

Yes very much so. Its better she knows from you and not by other people.

My daughter asked me about oral sex should I assume she active?

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