Sexual Relationships
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My girlfriend doesn't want me to use a condom?

I love this girl. She is the most awesome girl I've ever met. and she is extremely fun to be around she's in Washington visiting her family for a week and she wants to have sex when she gets back. the problem is she doesn't want me to use a condom. I know that she isn't a virgin. So does that mean that the other people she's had sex with also didn't use condoms? I want to use a condom but I don't know what to say. I told her that I wanted to Use a condom but she sad "I want you to fuck me raw" I really do not want to do that but Im worried that if I refuse... I don't know. What do I do?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • If you want to use a condom you should tell her you'd prefer to use a condom; if she's as great as you say she'll be fine with it.

    I think it's entirely possible she doesn't want to use one because she's heard, or guys have told her, that sex feels better for them without, so she wants to make it a better experience for you.

    If you decide not to use a condom you should both get tested for STIs first and make sure you're using some other form of birth control. It's best to be safe, even if she's a little offended or anything that you'd rather use a condom; your health is the priority

    • that's the main reason I want to use a condom. Because I don't want to end up getting an STD. But if I insist on using a condom I don't know if she'll be offended that I'm assuming she has an STD. Its just a whole screwed up situation

    • Well she may be, that's true. But like I said, sorry if this isn't what you want to hear, but your health is more important. Maybe talk to her about whether she's had unprotected sex with other people, if you can? Suggest you both get tested first just to be safe?

    • You can also flip it around and tell her you don't want to give her anything also. Put it in both people's interests, both yours and hers.

  • "I know that she isn't a virgin. So does that mean that the other people she's had sex with also didn't use condoms?"

    I don't think you can assume either way.

    "I really do not want to do that but Im worried that if I refuse... I don't know. "

    Tell her that you don't feel comfortable having sex without a condom at this time. If she doesn't respect your boundaries, then you should reconsider why you want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't respect you.

  • If she won't let you wear a condom but you want to then tell her you won't have sex unless she let's you wear one. If she doesn't let you west one then you can drop her and find someone who respects your choices

Most Helpful Guys

  • Before having sex why don't both of you go and get tested together to ensure that the two of you are both STI/STD free first for peace of mind.

    Once you know that the two of you have a clean bill of health and remain monogamous then you don't need condoms and can explore other options for birth control such as the pill or pullout method (which is just as effective as using condoms).

    My exGFs and I disliked condoms and much preferred bareback so we solely relied on pulling out which was very effective.

    My girlfriend doesn't want me to use a condom?

  • Don't go raw. It is not worth it. While I've never gone raw myself I've endured the stress of screwing a girl who had herpes and the stress afterwards was not worth it. I was almost fainting in my apartment, my appetite went down the tubes for a few days and I went to go get tested. Luckily I was ok.

    Your situation could be worse. If she insists you go raw, I really think you should turn down the sex. If she dumps you over it, don't worry. You'll get the last laugh when she's pregnant and/or has STDs.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Protect yourself regardless what she doesn't want. Don't risk disease or pregnancy

  • if she's not a virgin... then condoms r a MUST dude!

  • Well make sure she's on the pill or some other contraceptive unless you guys' want to have babies lol.

  • Are you ready to be a father? Like, right now?

    1. She wants you to get her pregnant.
    2. She's already pregnant, and wants to 'make that window.'

    Christ wheres YOUR father in all of this? Because you seriously need a kick in the teeth from someone older about this.

  • Is she in any kind of birth control?

  • Unprotected sex can cause STD heroes etc etc so always practice safe sex xD

    • Herpes*

  • Protect yourself and wear a condom. Don't want an STD!

  • Maybe she is on some contraceptive pills, so she doesn't need condoms.

    • Maybe, but the pill doesn't protect against STDs, so they should both be tested first. Regardless, if he wants to use condoms for his own piece of mind, she should respect that.

    • Well, ok, they should be tested then, but sex is much better without condoms.

  • Why don't you wan't to go bare again?

    • we haven't had sex before. And she probably didn't make the other dudes she's had sex with wear condoms. I don't really want herpes. I'd rather know that she doesn't have anything before I hit it raw.

    • Then, I guess you know what you should do, Asker.

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