It doesn't matter how much baggage 'victims' have on average. she's one person. She is the way she is.
She actually didn't ask you to do anything different. She didn't ask you to not slap her butt. She didn't ask you to stop joking (i. e. hinting and hoping) about having anal sex with her. Maybe she will never want some things. Maybe because of what happened to her. Maybe she won't be affected, or maybe she'll need to go slower. Maybe she will want you to do some things with her, because she'd rather do them with someone she cares about and put her past behind her. Maybe she would have wanted to anyway.
If you like her and care about her and things were going well, I'd keep trying. Try not to assume anything, try not to act different. Yeah, this is new to you, but she's been dealing with it for years, so in some ways she may have a better handle on it then you. Be open to her talking, realize that sometimes YOU may feel odd or bad about things, and need to overcome them.
Basically, you want to be empathetic and willing to be supportive, but also strong enough that YOU aren't forcing her to be a victim. Some shitty things have happened to her. Some days she may need support from you, but others, she needs you to show her how much fun sex should be. And not just you know boring gentle stuff, wilder stuff if you're both into it. She was victimized in the past not because of what specific sex acts were done or how, but because of the lack of consent. Consent is everything.
If you reach major problems in the relationship where she isn't trying to work with you to overcome them.. THEN break up while perhaps staying friends would be the right decision for you.
That's the ideal answer, anyway.0 0 0 0Obviously it's a horrible thing to have to DROP someone due to something like that, but at the same time if you can't deal then there's really no point staying in the relationship, cause fuck, what's the point? What good are you doing either of you if it's gonna eat away at you like this, you're just gonna be paranoid about her, now.
Frankly I think you're lucky that it's only a 3 month relationship because you could feasibly end it with her now without there being too much trouble. She'll probably feel like a piece of shit if you DO ditch her, but like you said, that kind of thing tends to manifest in some messed up ways that you may not be able to deal with (especially since you said it turned her on).1 0 0 0
Most Helpful Girls
... This is a mask...
She was Scared that something like This would happen and it sorely and surely did. This is why the Mirror has Two faces was Hiding in her Past because she knew when she told you the truth That it would not Be... A blast.
You do not love her Unconditionally and you will never forget or forgive her. The best thing you can now is walk away and being you have said all that there is to say, I commend You being an Honest John and Not a back stabber of Being two faced down the fine line in time.
Good luck. xx0 0 2 0Dating a rape vicitim doesn't always change everything if you help her get help.
If you can't handle it then tell her how you feel and separate.0 0 0 0I don't understand. Did she get raped while you were in a relationship?
0 0 0 0kinda because we were dating and she comes out with this news
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What Girls & Guys Said
2 3if you can't dig the relationship then its best you just leave. take some more time to think on it but let her know that at least.
1 0 0 0Sorry in advance but you are a terrible, terrible, selfish person who does not deserve this girl (or any other girl.) Have a great life. You can't slap her bum, oh how tragic.
1 0 0 1No im trying to show u how my general behavior will be effected. I can't act the way I want or naturally would.
@Asker I don't think she wants you to actually explain the situation to her, she just saw the word rape and got triggered. You're gonna encounter that a lot of you tell people you were with a raped girl.
Actually, you will victimize her even further by breaking it with her. She needs you and think of her as a normal person. Nothing will change just ask her if she will be alright with it, since you love each
0 0 0 0You sound rather shallow, so she'll probably be much better without you.
0 0 0 1Wow, just kick her while she's down.
2 0 0 1
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